wrestling / Video Reviews
Memphis Wrestling (8.21.1982 & 8.28.1982) Review
-This is parts of two episodes mashed together, and I usually don’t like incomplete shows, but there’s one thing about August 21 that made me want to recap that one. This is a total of about 40 minutes’ worth of segments…
-Originally aired August 21, 1982.
-Your hosts are Lance Russell and Dave Brown.
-Lance welcomes area wrestling photographer JIM CORNETTE, who is brick-shittingly nervous about cutting the first actual promo of his life. Lance explains that Jim is a well-known magazine writer and photographer, but now he’s getting word that Jim is looking to pursue a new career as a wrestling manager. Jim, not even looking at the camera and keeping his voice at “13-year-old asking out a girl for the first time” volume, explains that he’s skinny and he’s not an athlete, so rather than be a champion wrestler, he’s going to try his hand at being a manager. And he explains that so earnestly that you’d swear he’s going for a “lovable loser” babyface role.
-But here comes the important detail…Lance asks him about what kind of prior experience he brings to the role, and Cornette explains that he comes from money and he’s actually only ever pursued wrestling fandom as a hobby instead of working, because his mother just buys him anything he wants. So his mom will pay for whatever wrestlers Cornette wants AND pay for their advisors, trainers, etc. So there’s juuuuuuuuuuuust enough about Cornette to rub you the wrong way here, but oh my god, it was like watching “Boom Goes The Dynamite” Guy cutting a wrestling promo.
-Jerry Lawler is in the ring for a squash match, but Jimmy Hart is out here with Carl Fergie, and King seems to be too big a star to wrestle the no-name schlub in the other corner of the ring. Jimmy asks Jerry to come over to the commentary table for a chat. The gist of it is that Jimmy is trying to do to Jerry EXACTLY what Jerry did to Ric Flair last week, and hey, wouldn’t it be exciting if all of the shut-ins who like Jerry Lawler had a chance to see a Southern Heavyweight Title match right here on TV against Carl Fergie?
-Jerry agrees to defend it….if Carl tells Jimmy that he has to spend the whole match in the dressing room.
-And it cuts off, awwwwwww.
-Originally aired August 28, 1982.
-Your hosts are Lance and Dave.
SUPERSTAR BILL DUNDEE vs. BOBBY EATON (with Jimmy Hart)
-Lance invites Jim Cornette over to the commentary table to call this match. Dundee takes down Eaton with a snapmare. Cornette sounds a LOT more confident this week and recaps a lot of his talking points from last week but sounding more sure-footed. Cornette clarifies that he doesn’t want to be a manager like Jimmy Hart or JJ Dillon. He wants to be a successful manager who just uses his family’s money to pay for everything he needs. Cornette ironically clarifies that he’s not interested in investing any of mama’s money in Bobby Eaton because that’s not who he envisions as a good investment!
-Eaton takes control with a hard right hand. Side headlock by Eaton, but it looks a little close to the throat so the referee forces a break. Cornette goes onto explain that he’s looking to be more of an advisorial type of manager because he doesn’t really know how contracts or negotiations work, so again, Cornette SOUNDS earnest, but what he’s telling us is he doesn’t know shit about what he’s doing, but he wants to do it solely because he has old money and he can.
-Jimmy runs in for the DQ, and Sweet Brown Sugar hits the ring to help Eaton with a 2-on-1 attack. Steve Kiern, Terry Taylor, and Jerry Lawler hit the ring to chase off the First Family.
-Lance calls the rescuers over for an interviewer. Great presentation here, as Kiern and Taylor address the camera, while in the background, we see Jim Cornette stopping Jerry Lawler and having some kind of private conversation with him.
-So once Kiern and Taylor are done chatting, Lance calls Cornette and Lawler over for a chat. Jerry gives him props for his photography and makes a joke about Mama Cornette being so wealthy that she has alligator bags under her eyes, and Cornette gets his dander up defending Mama for the first time before Jerry calms him down and gets back on track.
-Lawler makes fun of Cornette’s outfit, pointing out all the little details that give away that Mama bought the suit for him and says that given his history with managers, he’s a little gun shy about hiring another one, so he says thanks but no thanks, semi-apologizes for his jokes about the suit, and walks away.
-Jimmy Hart heads into the studio with Kimala, who circles the ring cautiously because he doesn’t understand what monitors and cameras are. Jimmy says that Kimala has never eaten watermelon or been with a woman, so he promises to organize “a watermelon party with lots of women” to motivate the Ugandan headhunter. And then we get back on the rails, thankfully, as he mocks Dutch Mantell for losing his title belt and for signing a match with Kimala. He explains that Dutch has to wrestle Kimala because Bill Dundee brown-noses Eddie Marlin a lot and he suggested the match so that Dutch will get injured and then hr won’t be a challenge for Dundee in the arenas next week. So Jimmy says that Dutch needs someone to look out for him, and he should join the First Family.
DUTCH MANTELL vs. KIMALA (with Jimmy Hart)
-Dutch comes to ringside and tells Jimmy Hart no way. He was already managed by Jimmy once and he’s never making that mistake again. That said, Jimmy DID say one thing that resonated with Dutch. During his ranting, he pointed out that Dutch is stuck in a match with no titles involved this week, and Dutch says, come to think of it, why would he want a match without a title at stake? So he says screw this and announces he’s not wrestling Kimala. Lance is shocked that Dutch actually listened to Jimmy about ANYTHING.
-Eddie Marlin comes out with Jerry Lawler and says that Jerry immediately agreed to fill in for Dutch because he already beat Kimala once.
JERRY “The King” LAWLER vs. KIMALA (with Jimmy Hart)
-Lawler’s not even dressed to wrestle, stepping in the ring with jeans and sneakers. He punches away at Kimala and manages to snapmare him, and the snapmare leads Jimmy to push the panic button, so here come Bobby Eaton and Sweet Brown Sugar for the surprise attack. Taylor and Keirn return to even the sides, but the problem is even now that it’s a fair fight, Lawler, for his end of it, is now getting the shit kicked out of him by Kimala. Kimala grabs his spear and threatens a stabbin’, but Taylor and Keirn fight off Sugar & Eaton and manage to get in the ring to stop it.
-Lance throws it to highlights from the Mid-South Coliseum. Champions Sweet Brown Sugar & Bobby Eaton are defending about Steve Keirn & Terry Taylor. Jimmy Hart tries to interfere, but Terry Taylor gets his hand on Jimmy’s walking stick and clears the ring with it, getting his own team DQed. Lance declares that the match was a “stem winder.”