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RB Report: CZW Down With The Sickness III

November 17, 2007 | Posted by 411Mania Staff
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RB Report: CZW Down With The Sickness III  

CZW Down With The Sickness III
September 8th, 2007
Philadelphia, PA

*Down With The Sickness is an annual memorial show to former CZW wrestler Chris Cash, who tragically died in a motorcycle accident on August 18th 2005.

*The CZW roster comes out to the ring. They all stand on the outside of the ring, while John Zandig gets in the ring. He tells the fans to look at the big screen.

*Chris Cash music video. It’s actually really good.

*Zandig speech.

*Joe Gacy vs. Alex Colon vs. LJ Cruz
These guys are all students of the CZW training school. Gacy has had a match in CZW before, wrestling at Tournament of Death V against CZW legend George Baus. Cruz takes out the other two in the early going. He busts out a nice armdrag on Colon, but Gacy attacks him from behind. Headscissors sends Gacy to the outside and Cruz follows with a body block from the top rope. ATOMIC LEG DROP on Cruz from Colon. Gacy hits a nice clothesline/backbreaker combo on Cruz. Gacy and Colon double-team Cruz until Colon attacks Gacy. SPINEBUSTER on Cruz. Gacy SLAPS THE TASTE OUTTA COLON’S MOUTH! SKY HIGH~! Double sunset flip from Cruz. Cruz botches a Tornado DDT and almost kills Gacy. Running elbow to Cruz from Colon. Colon misses a body block to Gacy and gets caught with a vicious backbreaker. Cruz comes off the top rope with an Ace Crusher and that gets him the victory over Gacy(5:39).

Rating: *1/2. I was dreading the absolute worst in this match, but there was nothing at all wrong with it. In fact, it was a real fun and crisp little match. These guys showed promise.

*Cheech and Brodie Lee vs. GQ and Jon Dahmer
Brodie Lee is a big dude, who’s working a redneck gimmick. I’ve seen him in CHIKARA a couple times, and he’s done nothing that stood out. GQ was Chris Cash’s frequent tag team partner. Dahmer trained Cash. Cheech and GQ start. They do some nice stuff. GQ and Dahmer hit a neckbreaker/sit-out powerbomb combo on Cheech. Dahmer no-sells Cheech and he and GQ double-team Cheech. Brodie chops the heck out of GQ. Back suplex on GQ from Cheech. Cheech hits a big boot to GQ and hits a ‘rana off the top rope. Lee gets in, but GQ enziguris him. Dahmer gets in and is a HOUSE EN FUEGO! Dahmer chops Lee on the outside. GQ misses a missile dropkick to Cheech. Cheech PLANTS GQ with some sort of driver. LIGAH BOMB on Dahmer from Lee gets two. That was great. Yakuza kick to GQ from Lee. Awesome chokeslam/blockbuster combo from Cheech and Lee. That only gets two and Lee is SHOCKED! Lee misses a Yakuza and Cheech is hit by his own partner. GQ hits a pair of dropkicks to Lee in the corner and then hits a springboard dropkick from across the ring. Dahmer hits a SICK reverse fisherman’s brainbuster thing on Cheech and GQ pins him with the Cash Flow(8:07)!

Rating: **1/2. Good stuff. I’m a mark for indy head drops.

*Niles Young comes out. He’s had a haircut since the last time I seen him. The fans sure do hate him. He headbutted a fan, legit, a few shows ago and has been sent out by management to apologise. Instead, he says he’s sorry he didn’t headbutt ALL of the fans. Joker comes out because he’s took offence to Niles thinking he’s hard because he headbutted one guy. Joker headbutts him and Niles is BUSTED WIDE OPEN! Niles’ partner in shittyness, Derek Frazier comes out and says “mother fucker” a lot. Hick. “Mother fucker, I’ll beat your mother fucking ass right now, mother fucker.” Seriously, he says it at least twenty times in the space of two minutes. Niles tries to get heat by saying that the fans never cared about Cash until he died.

*Cloudy vs. “Diehard” Dustin Lee
Diehard is a regular in IWA:Mid South and Deep South. He’s a member of the Naptown Dragons stable along with Drake Younger, Vortekz and OMG. Cloudy is the partner of Cheech pretty much everywhere except from CZW. His hair annoys me. Lots. They apprehensively tie up and the near-midget Cloudy over-powers the much larger Diehard. That was bizarre. Someone should tell Cloudy to get a haircut. Cloudy controls with speed and general campness. Headscissors sends Diehard out and Cloudy hits a 619. He goes for a ‘rana, but Diehard catches him, powerbombs him into the ring post and them right across his knee. Back in, tilt-a-whirl backbreaker on Cloudy. Boston crab. Wow, psychology, in 2007 CZW. Surfboard. Diehard stomps away at the back. Diehard misses a charge and Cloudy hits a missile dropkick. Powerbomb from Diehard. EXPLODER SUPLEX! Cloudy counters another one and dropkicks the back of Diehard. AWESOME sunset flip powerbomb from the top rope on Diehard. GORE! GORE! GORE! By the 100 pound Cloudy. He goes up top, but the spear obviously didn’t do much damage because Diehard nails him with an uppercut. Cloudy goes for a Yoshi Tonic, but Diehard counters to a Jig ‘N’ Tonic for the victory(8:20).

Rating: **1/2. Another good, energetic match. However, I would have preferred if Diehard had incorporated all the back-work to the ending of the match, rather than just dumping Cloudy on his head to defeat him.

*CZW Iron Man Championship
Dog Collar Match
“Mr. Insanity” Toby Klein (w/”The Worst Manager EVER” Billy Gram) (c) vs. “The Lariat” DJ Hyde (w/Maven Bentley)

I wonder if Gram is Toby’s manager in other places, or if he’s just Zandig’s friend and wanted something to do on the shows. It’s likely the latter. Klein and Hyde go at it before the dog collar is even brought in. Gram and Bentley are handcuffed to each other on the outside of the ring. The referee restores order and puts the dog collar on Hyde and Klein. I’m surprised the collar fits around Hyde’s neck. Klein chokes Hyde with the chain and strangles him around the ropes. Klein punches Hyde with the chain and strangles him again. This goes on for about five minutes. Hyde’s busted open. They brawl on the outside. Bentley and Gram have managed to get apart. Hyde beats Toby down with one of Gram’s crutches. Klein pulls Hyde with the chain and he goes crashing into the guardrail. Back in, Hyde counters a DVD to a chokeslam. Fans are chanting for Wifebeater, for some reason. Probably because this match is awful. Hyde signals for that lariat of his, but when Toby gets up he chooses to just throw him over the top rope instead and choke him. They go to the outside again. A table gets brought into the ring. Hyde spears Toby into the table and it doesn’t break. “THE WRESTLERS DIDN’T FUCK UP, THE TABLE DID!!” – commentator. Gram gets in and distracts Hyde. Toby rolls him up, but gets two. Hyde hits a lariat and that only gets two. Fans don’t care at all. Toby slams Hyde through the table and Hyde gets up instantly. Toby throws him onto his back and covers him for a two-count. Toby goes up top, but Hyde yanks on the chain and Toby falls off. Hyde drills Klein with the Shadow Driver and it’s all over(14:04). Hyde is the new champion, not that anyone cares about the Iron Man title anymore. CZW should just unify it with the world title.

Rating: DUD. Really, really, REALLY boring. Just fantastically bad.

*CZW Tag Team Titles
BLK OUT (Sabian and Ruckus (w/Robby Mireno)) (c) vs. Team Suckage (Niles Young and Derek Frazier (w/Noel Harlow))

Sabian is a lecherous fellow. BLKOUT’s introduction is awesome. Mireno trying to get a “Cash” chant going and the crowd just refusing is really, really awkward. Young and Sabian start. Nothing of note happens. Headscissors sends Niles to the outside. Frazier gets in and throws Sabian out. Ruckus and Frazier do some flippy stuff. Ruckus gets sent to the outside and Frazier hits a tope. He gets back in. Team AnDrew – Andy Sumner and Drew Gulak – run down and take out all four men.

Gulak gets on the mic and says that they pinned the champions two months ago and that should put them in line for a title shot. Lobo comes down. He makes it a three-way match for the tag team titles.

Ruckus and Sabian attack AnDrew, but get taken out by stereo dropkicks. Suckage take out AnDrew. Gulak gets isolated by Suckage and they double-team him. Frazier tags out to Sabian. He hits a back suplex on Gulak. Gulak makes his comeback until Sabian takes him straight back down with a back elbow. Ruckus and Sabian double-team him. Suckage go back to teaming on him. Frog splash by Niles gets two. School boy from Gulak gets two and he swiftly gets taken back out by Niles. Ruckus gets in with Gulak. Gulak hits rolling German suplexes on him. Sabian gets in and takes one, too. Gulak tags out to Sumner. He takes out everybody. SICK German to Sabian. Standing SSP by Ruckus on Sumner gets two. Noel trips Sabian when he goes for a dive onto Niles. He tries to piledrive her, but the SMELL FROM HER VAG IS TOO MUCH! Niles is not happy. He slams Sabian and gets two. Sumner hits an exploder in the corner on Ruckus. German to Frazier from Gulak. Gulak locks Niles in the CHIKARA SPECIAL and he taps! Team AnDrew are the new champions! The whole thing with was about eighteen minutes.

Suckage lay out AnDrew, but BLK OUT saves them.

Rating: **1/2. The majority of this match was very solid, yet generic, by-the-numbers stuff. The finishing stretch was hot and spot-tastic, though. The CHIKARA Special is taking over the world.

*Chris Cash Memorial Battle Royal
Jon Dahmer vs. GQ vs. Jimmy Stars vs. Jimmy Olsen vs. Colin Olsen vs. ?? vs. Eradication vs. Hellaware Assassin vs. ?? vs, Greg Excellent vs. CJ O’Doyle vs. Cheech vs. WHACKS

The question marks are students who I couldn’t quite catch the names of. The battle royal at the first Cash show was fantastic. There are two ladders set up in the ring. General mayhem. One of the question marks is thrown out HARD. WHACKS and Hellaware have a chair duel. Hellaware is thrown over the top onto a ladder. WHACKS is thrown from the top rope through a table set up next to the guardrails. Some guy voluntarily jumps onto a ladder and is thrown out. This is all kinds of awful. The final four left are the two Olsens, GQ and Cheech. They all team up on GQ. Cheech gets eliminated when he gets thrown over the top rope and onto a ladder. GQ is double teamed by the Olsens. They try their hardest to send GQ out. Jimmy Olsen sets up two chairs and props a ladder between them. Colin goes up on the top rope with GQ. GQ blocks a spider German suplex and puts him in a tree of woe. Jimmy Olsen is eliminated with a superkick. He hits a Cash Flow on Colin off the top and onto the ladder and throws him out the ring(5:17).

Rating: DUD. This was awful even by battle royal standards. Olsens should have been in a regular match, the awesomeness that they exhibit in CHIKARA was not able to shine through here.

*Segment with Nicky Benz, some radio host and Lobo. Ah, the joys of the fast-forward button.

*Drake Younger comes out. He has an almost-severed thumb. He apologised to Joker, his opponent for the night, because he cannot wrestle. Joker’s fine with that, but Vortekz comes out and tells Drake that he thinks he’s a pussy. Diehard comes out. He thinks that Drake’s “fuckin’ gay”. Danny Havoc comes out and attacks both of them with a ladder. Vortekz and Drake go at it. Joker and Diehard go at it. It’s announced that it’s been made into a five-way ladder match.

*Junior Heavyweight Title
Ladder match
Drake Younger vs. Vortekz (c) vs. Diehard vs. Danny Havoc vs. Joker

Panes of glass are put in the ring. Drake is hit HARD with a ladder. Diehard and Vortekz put a pane of glass over him. Vortekz goes up top and hits a double knee stomp through it. They attack Drake’s hand. All five men get involved and this match is just ugly. It’s announced that Drake has been taken to the hospital. Joker throws a chair at Havoc’s face. Vortekz catches Havoc and hits a SICK exploder onto a ladder. Joker chops away at Vortekz. Overhead belly-to-belly. Diehard is setting up a ladder/table/chair contraption on the outside. He puts Joker on it and goes up top. Joker gets up and throws Diehard through it. Diehard gets suplexed through a table. Joker powerbombs Havoc VERY stiffly onto a ladder. That was disgusting. Vortekz DDTs Joker onto the apron. Diehard sets up another ladder/chair/glass panes contraption in the centre of the ring. TOWER OF DOOOOM through it. Vortekz drags Joker around all the broken glass. Vortekz tries to climb a ladder to reach the belt, but in a homage to his ladder match with Chris Cash, Joker hits a JOKER DRIVER FROM THE LADDER! Havoc comes in the ring and realises that everyone’s out. He climbs the ladder and takes the belt!

Rating: *1/2. This match is what everyone expects: big bumps and lots of blood to send the CZW vampires home happy. Most of the match was just ugly, ugly stuff and hella-contrived spots, but it was fun at points and some of the bumps are a sight to behold.

The 411: I miss the days of old when CZW would have atleast one great match every show. Sadly, this is no longer the case as everything ranges from bad to decent. This saddens me because back in 2005, I was huge CZW fan and now I could care less about them. There was some good stuff here, but this show was unbelievably average and I can't recommend that anyone purchase it.
Final Score:  3.5   [ Bad ]  legend

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