The Chrononaut Chronicles: Clash of the Champions XXIV

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The Chrononaut Chronicles
WCW Clash of the Champions XXIV – August 18, 1993

– LIVE from the Ocean Center in Daytona Beach, Florida! Tony Schiavone and Jesse “The Body” Ventura are on commentary.

– WCW World Tag Team Championship: “Pretty” Paul Roma & “The Enforcer” Arn Anderson vs. “Stunning” Steve Austin (w/Flyin’ Brian Pillman) & Lord Steven Regal (w/Sir William) ©

Due to a legitimate ankle injury he had suffered during a TV match, Brian Pillman is unable to wrestle in this scheduled rematch from Beach Blast ’93, so he hobbles out on crutches and accompanies Steve Austin. For unexplained reasons, Lord Steven Regal is the substitute partner, and this makeshift team is forced to defend the World Tag Team Title as the Hollywood Blonds. Stunning Steve is rightfully pissed off as he walks out, and Ventura agrees that the belts shouldn’t be on the line since the Blonds are the champs, not Austin & Regal. Recalling all the times that Flyin’ Brian has faked an injury since turning heel, it makes sense that WCW would force the championship to be defended, and Tony notes that Brian’s previous trickery has backfired on him now that he has a real injury. From the apron, Lord Steven applauds politely when Stunning Steve takes the early lead, but Arn Anderson comes back and back-bodydrops Austin over the top rope while referee Nick Patrick is busy with Regal. Tags are made on both sides and Paul Roma primarily uses armwringers and punches like he’s wrestling Boris Zhukov in the 16th match of a four-hour WWF TV taping. Austin trips Roma up from ringside and the “Blonds” take control, actually meshing together nicely as they tag in-and-out and deal out the punishment in their half of the ring. Anderson pops Austin from the apron and Pretty Paul makes the tag after utilizing Stunning Steve’s own Stun Gun finisher, but the ref didn’t see the tag and Regal keeps working on Roma. Shortly thereafter, the hot tag is officially made and Anderson unloads on the “Blonds”, but when he grabs Austin and sets him up for the DDT, Regal clubs Arn from behind. Roma knocks Regal out of the ring and goes out after him while Pillman climbs up on the apron and distracts the ref. Meanwhile, Sir William climbs up on the apron holding Pillman’s crutch and Austin tries to whip Anderson into him, but the Enforcer reverses it and William nails Steve. Anderson rolls Austin up with a handful of trunks for the pinfall and the Horsemen capture the WCW World Tag Team Championship in 9:52. ***½ Despite the utter mediocrity of Paul Roma, this was a good match since his main role was to take a beating. Regal & Austin were friends outside the ring and put on a clinic as they worked very effectively together. In a post-match interview with the new champs, Roma puts himself over and Anderson gets to talk, too.

Poor Arn.

– “Beautiful” Bobby Eaton vs. 2 Cold Scorpio

Lord Steven Regal was originally scheduled to face 2 Cold Scorpio, so Bobby Eaton steps in to take his place. Why didn’t Bobby just take the spot in the tag team match? He had history with Steve Austin and Arn Anderson, he’s the consummate tag team wrestler, and he has blond hair. Would have been a perfect fit. Oh well. Ventura sets this up as an aerial dogfight since both men are known for their high-flying tactics, although Scorpio has the obvious advantage in that department. The first top-rope spot comes after Scorpio drops down to avoid a charge in the corner and then flips up to the top turnbuckle in one fluid motion before soaring off with a high bodypress for a two-count. 2 Cold works on the arm, but Beautiful Bobby ducks a crossbody and employs a mat-based strategy. Scorpio comes back and sits Eaton on the top turnbuckle, then climbs up with him and dropkicks him down to the floor. After Scorpio follows out with a slingshot plancha, they go back in the ring and Eaton drops him with a neckbreaker and a flying elbowdrop off the top for two. They slug it out and Scorpio decks Eaton with a spin-kick, followed by the Scorpio Splash for the three-count at 5:26. **½ Good action in the short time they had.

– Mask vs. Norma Jean: Maxx Payne vs. Johnny B. Badd

As a result of Maxx Payne’s heinous shotgun blast on Johnny B. Badd with his own Badd Blaster at the last Clash, Johnny’s pretty face was ravaged and he started wearing a mask when he returned. Wishing to share his handiwork with the world, Maxx wanted the mask removed so he offered to put his vintage electric guitar, named Norma Jean, on the line against Johnny’s mask. As soon as Badd hits the ring, Payne is on the offensive and pulls off his mask, but Johnny is wearing another mask underneath and fires off punches and spinning headscissors. Maxx clotheslines Johnny down and utilizes his size and strength, but he misses a splash off the second turnbuckle and Badd covers Payne to win the match in a scant 2:41. In a post-match interview at ringside, Johnny promises to remove his mask himself on WCW Saturday Night and plans on getting guitar lessons as he walks off with Norma Jean. *½ Nothing wrong with the match, but it was way too short to make an impact.

Just when you thought Johnny B. Badd couldn’t get any gayer…

– Hosted by Ric Flair, it’s time for A Flair for the Gold! After parading Fifi the Maid around like a piece of meat, the Nature Boy brings out the British Bulldog & Sting as his guests and says that although they both have big matches tonight, he wants to look ahead to War Games coming up at Fall Brawl ’93 because they have a special mystery partner to introduce. Along with Col. Rob Parker, Sid Vicious and Harlem Heat come out to interrupt them and Davey Boy yells over everybody again before allowing Sting to introduce their partner. Sting claims that their partner will “shock the world” and man, was he right. Formerly known in the WWF as Tugboat and then Typhoon, Fred Ottman busts through a hole in the wall wearing the world’s worst homemade Halloween costume, consisting of a furry vest, blue jeans, and a Star Wars Storm Trooper helmet coated in glitter. An outfit like that is embarrassing enough, but this fearsome new superstar trips on his way through the hole and falls flat on his face, losing his helmet in the process. To his credit, he calmly grabs the helmet, gets up, and puts it back on in time for his Power Rangers audition, as he moves his arms around and pretends he’s talking while over the PA, Ole Anderson does his Black Scorpion voice and cuts a promo announcing that he is The Shockmaster. The really sad part is that Sid and the Heat have to keep selling it like this clumsy buffoon will pose a deadly threat in the War Games. Gotta love live television.

This is why your mom made you cut bigger eyeholes in your Halloween mask.

– WCW World Television Championship: Ricky “The Dragon” Steamboat vs. “Mr. Wonderful” Paul Orndorff ©

Known as the man who tells it like it is, Ventura doesn’t even try to conceal his contemptuous laughter when he and Schiavone mention the Shock Master’s entrance. Ricky Steamboat’s entrance is far more impressive, as he reverts back to his WWF gimmick of breathing fire on his way to the ring. Michael Buffer handles ring announcing duties since this is a title bout and gives it a big-match feel. Early on, the Dragon works a headlock and they run the ropes until Paul Orndorff ducks a high crossbody and Steamboat sails over the top rope out to the runway. Mr. Wonderful throws Steamboat back in and follows in off the top turnbuckle with a flying elbowsmash for a few consecutive two-counts. Orndorff remains in control and keeps going for the pin even after Steamboat kicks out, but Steamboat comes back with a flying chop off the top for two and he chops away after a back suplex. The Dragon knocks Orndorff over the top rope with a double-chop and follows him out by diving over the top and wipes Wonderful out. Referee Randy Anderson briefly gets in the way when Steamboat gets back in and Orndorff snatches the advantage, but he decides to grab the TV Title belt and hold it up. Steamboat rolls him up for a near-fall and Orndorff sets him up for the piledriver, but the Steamer back-bodydrops out of it and scores a near-fall, followed by a backslide for another close count. The Dragon hits the flying bodypress off the top, but Wonderful rolls through for a near-fall. The end comes when Orndorff scoops him up for a bodyslam and Steamboat takes him down in an inside cradle to win the WCW World Television Championship for the second time (fourth if you count his NWA TV Title reigns in the late ’70s) in 8:31. After the match, Orndorff attacks Steamboat and piledrives him on the TV belt on the runway. *** It was almost impossible for Steamboat to have a bad match and both men put in some solid work. Orndorff repeatedly going for pins helped to sell the importance of the title, and the post-match piledriver was killer.

– The Colossal Kongs (Awesome Kong & King Kong w/Harley Race) vs. Sting & “Nature Boy” Ric Flair

In a pre-match interview with Eric Bischoff, Harley Race explains that the humongously fat Colossal Kongs, billed at a combined weight of 1,001 pounds, will extract revenge on Ric Flair for punching him out on WCW Saturday Night. Michael Buffer performs the ring introductions, and the match doesn’t last much longer than his intros. Sting fires off dropkicks and bodyslams both Kongs one after the other, which Race describes as “impossible” in an exaggerated voice. The Nature Boy knocks one of the Kongs out to the floor and rams him into the ringpost before going after Race and peppering him with punches. Meanwhile, Sting hits the Stinger Splash and pins the other Kong after a flying splash off the top turnbuckle at 2:14. *¾ Well, that was emphatic. Tony Schiavone conducts an interview with the winners, since they will square off against each other for Flair’s NWA Heavyweight Championship on Saturday Night. Slick Ric notes that Sting didn’t need any help and that he was only out there to prevent Harley Race from interfering. Sting hopes to win his fourth World Title this weekend and they do the mutual respect routine.

A half-ton of hoss.

– “Ravishing” Rick Rude & The Equalizer vs. “The Natural” Dustin Rhodes & Road Warrior Hawk (w/Road Warrior Animal)

Still considering himself the rightful WCW United States Champion although the title remained vacant, Rick Rude brought in a big slug called The Equalizer (the future Dave “Evad” Sullivan) to aid him in his feud against Dustin Rhodes, so the Natural promised to have a mystery partner for a tag team showdown at the Clash. Driving up in a brand-new Camaro Z-28, Road Warrior Animal is presumed to be the surprise, but it’s actually Road Warrior Hawk as he enters from the other side of the ring. There had been legitimate heat between Hawk and Animal since they left the WWF, so it was a huge shock to see the Legion of Doom reunited. Since Animal was still collecting payments from his Lloyd’s of London insurance policy, he was unable to wrestle and acts as the cornerman here. Hawk wins a test of strength over Ravishing Rick and stomps on his hands, so Rude quickly tags out. The Equalizer proves just how FUCKING AWFUL he is when Hawk twists his head for a Rude Awakening and Equalizer drops to the mat before Hawk can even apply the move. Schiavone tries to cover by saying that Equalizer slipped out to escape, but no, he’s just completely inadequate. Hawk clotheslines Equalizer in the corner and charges in after a whip to the opposite corner, but Equalizer gets a boot up and tags out. Rude applies a camel clutch, but Hawk lifts him on his shoulders and tags Dustin, who comes off the top with a flying clothesline to trigger the LOD’s Doomsday Device. The crowd loves it as Rhodes unloads on Rude, but Rude takes over and turns him inside-out with a clothesline before swiveling his hips at Hawk. The heels pound on Dustin and work him over until he ducks and Equalizer accidentally clotheslines Rude. Even in storyline terms, he’s a useless buffoon. Dustin makes the hot tag and referee Randy Anderson doesn’t see it, but Hawk totally ignores the ref as he presses Rude over his head and hurls him at the Equalizer. The heels try to come back, but Hawk breaks through a double clothesline and clotheslines them both down before clearing the ring by clotheslining Rude and then Equalizer over the top rope. That’s a lot of clotheslines. The ref is still motioning that he didn’t see a tag, but the point is moot as Equalizer knocks Hawk through the ropes. The big dummy scoops up Dustin, but Hawk dives off the top and knocks Rhodes on top of Equalizer for the pin at 7:41. ** Did I mention how bad the Equalizer was? Hawk wasn’t much better and looked very robotic in his movements, clearly a far cry from the last time we saw him in WCW.

Somehow, this idiot kept his job for the next two years.

– WCW World Heavyweight Championship: “British Bulldog” Davey Boy Smith vs. Big Van Vader (w/Harley Race) ©

According to the stipulations, the title can change hands on a disqualification in this match. We finally get the “LLLLLLLET’S GET READY TO RRRRUMBBBBLLLLLE!” from Michael Buffer as he performs the introductions prior to a commercial break. When we come back, the British Bulldog tackles Vader on the runway and pulls off an impressive feat of strength by executing the delayed vertical suplex on the 445-pound Rocky Mountain Mastodon. Davey Boy clotheslines Vader into the ring and slingshots in with a splash, but Vader gets his knees up to block it and Smith sells a bad knee of his own. The three-time WCW World Champion does what he does best, pummeling Bulldog in the corner with stiff shots to the head and body before dumping him out to the floor. Vader steps out and charges, but Davey Boy moves and Vader splashes the guardrail. The Bulldog lifts Vader in a suplex and drops his midsection across the railing, and a helpful fan pushes Vader off the railing as he’s hanging there. Back inside, Bulldog is limping but that doesn’t stop him from lifting Vader across his shoulders and carrying him around before falling back with a Samoan drop for a near-fall, as Vader gets his foot over the bottom rope. Vader ducks a clothesline and splats Bulldog with the Vader Attack, then targets the leg with a big running elbowdrop. The punishment continues with a Samoan drop of his own and a huge splash off the top turnbuckle for a near-fall, and Vader withstands a comeback attempt to dish out a splash across the back. Davey Boy ducks a clothesline and takes Vader down in a crucifix for a near-fall, but Vader clocks him with a punch and hammers him in the corner. Taking forever to climb to the top turnbuckle, Vader eats a dropkick and falls into the ring, where Smith gives him a taste of his own medicine by pounding him down in the corner. The Bulldog charges into the corner, but Vader gets his feet up and crushes him with the Vader Bomb for a near-fall. Vader dives off the middle turnbuckle and Bulldog catches him in a powerslam, but Vader’s flailing feet hit referee Nick Patrick in the process and he gets bumped. Bulldog hoists Vader up for a vertical suplex, but Harley Race sneaks in and takes out Smith’s legs so that Vader lands on top for the winning pinfall to retain the WCW Heavyweight Championship of the World in 11:11. The British Bulldog defends himself against Race after the match and pounds on him, but Vader swats him off and prepares to deal out some more HOSStility. However, Cactus Jack makes his return and chases Vader off to close the show. ****¼ Just an awesome power match and a great example of Vader’s ability as the best big-man worker in the business.

I bet that guy has been bragging about this for the last 18 years.

The 411: Arguably the most infamous Clash due to the human blooper reel known as The Shockmaster, the twenty-fourth Clash of the Champions was an enjoyable show that featured a fantastic main event for the WCW World Title. Vader took some big bumps and made the British Bulldog look like a powerhouse when he wasn't battering the hell out of him, and the return of Cactus Jack received a huge pop despite WCW's best efforts to kill his babyface momentum with a ridiculous amnesia angle. The reunion of the Road Warriors was big news in the wrestling world, although they wouldn't wrestle together as a tag team until 1996. The rest of the Clash was a solid lineup, especially the World Tag Team Title bout that opened the show. WCW had started taping their syndicated shows months in advance and matches had already been taped featuring Arn Anderson & Paul Roma with the belts, so Lord Steven Regal was drafted as a replacement for Brian Pillman to facilitate the necessary title change. Sadly, this also marked the premature end of the Hollywood Blonds, as the hot young heel team was split up due to political reasons after this show.

Final Score:  7.0   [ Good ]