The Name on the Marquee: WWF Championship Wrestling (07.21.1984)

-Greetings from Pittsburgh!…Actually, Bethel Park, if you want to be technical about it.

-Originally aired July 21, 1984.

-We’re in Brantford, Ontario, for the next three weeks. Brantford would serve as the home for “All-Star Wrestling” for the next two years. I’m a little surprised that they used it for the B-show instead of using it for “Championship Wrestling” because it’s a really good-looking venue for television.

-Your hosts are Vince McMahon and Tony Garea. As commentators go, he’s a pretty good wrestler.

ADRIAN ADONIS & DICK MURDOCH (Tag Team Champions) vs NICK DECARLO & SPECIAL DELIVERY JONES
-The ring announcer mispronounces Adonis. You, sir, are no Jjjjjjjjjjjoe McHugh. Champs get some pretty impressive heat.

-SD backs Murdoch into a corner and Murdoch cowers. Adonis tags in and trades holds with SD. He gets slammed to the mat and then goes to the wrong corner, where he gets pinballed by DeCarlo and Jones. If I were to type a transcript of Tony Garea, it wouldn’t seem so bad, but he is just shockingly void of human emotion.

-DeCarlo works the arm, but Adonis breaks it with a yank of the hair and tags out. Elbows and boots by Adonis and Murdoch. DeCarlo gets trapped in the wrong corner while the referee argues with SD. DeCarlo throws a few lucky jabs and makes the tag to SD, and the crowd comes completely unglued. SD fights off both opponents, but Adonis sneaks up with a knee to the back. This time, it’s SD’s turn to hot tag DeCarlo and again the crowd goes crazy for it. DeCarlo doesn’t fare as well, though, and the champs finish him with a really impressive move, putting him in position for a back suplex and then doing the Doomsday Device instead. That quite naturally is enough to finish what was a surprisingly good match.

THE CYNDI LAUPER-CAPTAIN LOU ALBANO SAGA
-A complete recap of this entire feud so far, which is nice since I had to skip a month of shows. We start with the Captain appearing on Piper’s Pit and showing off magazine covers and albums to show off all the success and fame that he brought Cyndi Lauper.

-That raises the ire of David Wolff, who comes to Piper’s Pit a few weeks later and maintains that he is the one and only manager of Cyndi Lauper, and Captain Lou Albano has nothing to do with her career.

-So, through David Wolff’s help, Cyndi finally appears on Piper’s Pit. Captain Lou emerges to take credit for writing “Time After Time,” and she laughs it off. And then he says that women belong in the kitchen and don’t really accomplish anything without a man, and she succeeded by mooching off his reputation. Captain Lou says he made the music video great by way of his one-second cameo. Captain Lou calls her barroom broad, and Cyndi finally gets fed up and beats Captain Lou over the head with her purse, which Captain Lou sells hilariously.

-The following week, Piper goes to Cyndi’s recording studio and challenges Lou to a proxy match. She says she’ll prove that Lou knows nothing about music and even less about wrestling.

-Captain Lou chooses Ladies’ Champion, the Fabulous Moolah, and Cyndi picks Cowgirl Wendi Richter. Richter is suddenly all punked out and cuts a promo on Captain Lou.

-Captain Lou puts Moolah on a diet of high-protein, low carbohydrate, two quarts of “unborn virgin goat’s milk, and an exercise regimen of squat thrusts and road work. Wendi’s training regimen consists of braless jogging and chanting “Moolah’s going down!”

-Gene Okerlund reminds us that the match will air live on MTV, with press representatives from all over the world to provide additional coverage.

KAMALA (with Classy Freddy Blassie & Friday) vs JOSE LUIS RIVERA
-Kamala’s debut. He chops Rivera from every possible angle, then lifts him in the air and chokes him. Kamala lays Rivera on his stomach, splashes him twice, and then knows to roll him over before pinning him. So he’s not a dumb savage, just a savage with a bad memory.

WWF REVIEW
-A weird segment, “weird” in this case meaning “What the hell is the point of this?” We watch the endings to squash matches with David Schultz and Hulk Hogan, set to music, with no context or comments.

UPDATE
-Another damn profile of Sgt. Slaughter.

-We get a random tangent from Roddy Piper, talking about “Loopy Lauper,” and predicting that, ahem, Moolah will eat Wendi Richter’s lunch. Piper promises that his guest next week will be the winner of the match at MSG. And then quite suddenly, Piper pulls out a piece of mail, apologizing for the actions of Jimmy Snuka and saying that at night, he cries. Piper says the letter is from Snuka’s son. Piper crumples the letter and spits on the floor.

WILD SAMOANS vs TIGER CHUNG LEE & MISTER FUJI
-Joined in progress from the Spectrum. Fuji and Lee are in control until Fuji misses a top rope splash. Afa capitalizes with an inverted atomic drop. Lee tags in and slams Afa to the mat. He heads to the top rope himself and gets slammed off. Headbutt, and then Sika tags in. Lee attempts to tag, but Fuji steps away and won’t let him. Then does it again. Samoans la a beating on Lee while Fuji just leaves the arena altogether. Samoans leave the ring and Fuji abruptly returns to strangle Lee with a microphone cord. Lee ups the ante with a kendo stick, but Fuji ducks it and gets the hell out of the arena.

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The 411: A good show considering the weird glued-together vibe of the whole hour. It got you genuinely excited about an upcoming show and gave you a couple of competitive tag team bouts to boot. And a debut! Thumbs-up.
Final Score:  7.3   [ Good ]