The TNA Genesis 2007 Breakdown

Genesis 2007 by J.D. Dunn November 11, 2007 Live from Orlando, Fla. Your hosts are Mike Tenay and Don West. Opening Match, Shop of Horrors: Black Reign (w/James Mitchell) vs. Abyss. This was every other Abyss match EVER. They brawl to start, of course. It’s not long before chairs get involved. Nothing happening. Abyss locks Black Reign’s hands in a vise, but Mitchell lets him loose. Abyss gets a board filled with mouse traps and prepares to toss Misty on it. The ASPCA would probably have a problem with that, so Mitchell hops in and hits him with a cane shot. Abyss turns to him and shoves Misty down his shirt. Mitchell sells it like he’s being bitten by 1,000 fire ants simultaneously. The distraction allows Reign to sneak in and hit the Blackout (Half-assed Pedigree) on Abyss, smashing his face into the mousetraps. Now who would have thought that Abyss’ foreign object would backfire on him? I’m shocked. SHOCKED I SAY! It only gets two, so Black Reign readies the brass knuckles. He charges…right into the Black Hole Slam at 10:20. * After the match, Abyss grabs the key and unlocks the man-sized box sitting at the top of the stage. It’s marked “crimson blood,” which is rather redundant. Inside of the man-sized box is **GASP** a man in a Muta-ish mask. He spews a mist into Abyss’ face, and Mitchell’s boys put Abyss in the box and tip it off the stage. The masked man would turn out to be Rellik (Johnny Stamboli), and, in typical TNA fashion, they jobbed him out in his in-ring debut a few days later. Out in the driveway, Jeremy Borash tries to sneak into the limo, but the security guard cockblocks him. Borash is hilarious, trying to play the tough guy before cowering when it doesn’t work. The Motor City Machine Guns vs. Team 3D. This is one of those bellwether matches that is bigger than any of the stipulations of the match because this will tell you if TNA actually “gets it.” The MCMG attack 3D in the aisle and dazzle them with speed. Ray calls for D-Von to leave because they’ve had it with all this. He thinks better about it, though, and they return. The MCMG pepper D-Von with moves until Ray crotches them on the ropes. Team 3D takes over on Shelley. The match slows down a bit, of course, but Ray is such a dick that he keeps the heat on them. D-Von runs right into a superkick, though, allowing Shelley to tag out. Sabin cleans house, staying one step ahead of the big guys. He gets two off a Tornado DDT, and the MCMG rattle off a half dozen on D-Von, but none of them can finish him off. Ray comes in with a double-clothesline, though. D-Von gets the tables, but Sabin dropkicks it back into him. Shelley tries to add a pescado but misses. That allows Team 3D to hit the Doomsday Device. ONE, TWO, THRE-NO! Team 3D sets up a table in the corner, but Sabin flips right off it and sends D-Von through it. That allows the MCMGs to destroy Ray with a series of kicks to pick up the huge win at 17:37. The crowd was hot for this one, which should tell TNA something if they’re listening. Team 3D really busted ass to get the Guns over here, so hopefully the MCMG and TNA capitalize on it! ***1/2 In the back, Kurt Angle is freaking out because he doesn’t know who’s in that limo. TNA Knockout Title: Gail Kim vs. Roxxi Laveaux (w/the Voodoo Kin Mafia) vs. ODB vs. Angel Williams. Sadly, I know girl who looks and acts just like ODB (without the muscles). Even sadder, I don’t know anyone who looks like Gail Kim. Everyone gangs up on Gail early. She fights her way out and dominates like Triple H on a pair of tag team champions. Kip James saves Roxxi from taking the pin, so the ref kicks out VKM. Roxxi puts a spell on the ref in retaliation. Angel yanks Gail to the floor and posts her. Back in, Angel botches either a Harley Race corner bump or a Flair flip. ODB and Roxxi team up to spank her. ODB turns on Roxxi with the Coochie Crunch! Gail goes up and hits a flying crossbody onto Roxxi on the outside. ODB smacks Angel around for a while, and they work in the Tower of Doom spot. Gail hits Roxxi with a legline for two, but ODB nails her. ODB tosses Angel but catches the Baton Rouge Mist from Roxxi. Gail sneaks in and hits ODB with a strait-jacket neckbreaker at 9:02. Not bad at all. I find ODB irritating, but at least she has personality. Gail is both hot and a good worker, so she makes a good ambassador for the Women’s Division. ** After the match, Awesome Kong comes down and glares at Gail. In the back, Karen Angle uses her feminine wiles to get past security, but it turns out James Storm and Eric Young are in the limo having a drinking contest. Storm says he’s the World’s Drinking Champion, and he has a WWE replica spinner title with a beer bottle attached to prove it. You know, if Russo is booking, I can actually see that being defended on a regular basis. X-Division Title: Jay Lethal vs. Sonjay Dutt. Both guys are faces, but Matt Morgan is exercising his power here. SoCal Val does a great Elizabeth impression, beaming at Lethal as he comes down. Thank God they finally found something for her to do because she’s an untapped resource. They shake hands early before going into a fast-paced series of spots. Sonjay slaps him in the face but apologizes. He gets frustrated after a few moves and slaps Lethal again. Dutt knocks him to the floor and hits a somersault plancha at a lovely, round 750 mph. Back in, they trade counters as Lethal hiptosses him and dropkicks Sonjay, but Sonjay cuts off his double ax-handle with a dropkick. Funny stuff from the crowd as Lethal uses Savage’s old snap clothesline on the top rope, and they chant, “Let’s go, Randy!” Lethal follows with a suicida. Back in, Lethal whiffs on a backflip kick, but Dutt sells it anyway. The crowd doesn’t care for that. Cool spot as Sonjay signals for a moonsault, but Lethal moves, so Sonjay lands on his feet and goes right into the standing moonsault for two. That sets up a standing Shooting Star Press for two. Sonjay plays possum but counters into a spinning takedown into the Camel Clutch. Lethal makes the ropes and finishes with the elbowdrop off the top at 12:02. Like most X-Division matches, this had some great spots – unbelievable spots, in some cases – but no transitions, so it was just hit a move, pop up, hit another move, pop up. The spots were great, though. **3/4 Lethal and Dutt make up after the match, and Lethal invites SoCal Val into the ring to celebrate with them. Team 3D, unable to solve their X-Division blue ball syndrome against the Guns, attack Lethal and Dutt. Ray claims Sabin & Shelley cheated, so they will hold the X-Division Title hostage. Kevin Nash assures us that Scott Hall is not in the limo. Crystal hears a commotion and finds the drinking contest continuing in the back. EY is a little tips, but he doesn’t throw up. NWA Tag Team Titles: AJ Styles & Tomko vs. The Steiner Bros. Scott “I don’t need to be mobile! Look at me!” Steiner hits AJ with a tilt-o-whirl sideslam. Tomko and Rick go at it, which is pretty ugly, but what would you expect? Rick just picks him up and gives him a Death Valley Driver. AJ tags back in and sunset flips Rick. Rick rolls through, but he can’t get himself back up right away, so AJ just kind of sits there until Rick can clothesline him. The Steiners start throwing the champs around with slams and suplexes. Steiner Bulldog! ONE, TWO, THRE-Tomko makes the save. Scott and Tomko brawl on the outside, and the ref gets bumped. Boo! Rick covers Styles, but there’s no ref. AJ goes low and nails Rick with a chair. Tomko sends the ref in for the win at 10:46. **1/2 In the back, Robert Roode promises to kill Samoa Joe. Tracy Brooks wants to know who the woman is that has been in the crowd the last few weeks. Roode feigns ignorance. Samoa Joe vs. Robert Roode (w/Ms. Brooks). Joe hunts Roode down and moidalizes him. He hits all the usual stuff and brains Roode up against the steps. Roode cheats to come back and chokes Joe down. He lifts Danielson’s, “I’ve got ’til five!” He hits a few neckbreakers and locks in the nerve pinch. Joe makes a mini-comeback but runs right into a sleeper. Roode jumps off the top… right into an Ace Crusher. Joe fires back with the lightning leg lariat for two. We cut to Miss Brooks, and she’s out. No explanation given, but the EMTs run down and check on her. The fans stop paying attention to the match and start worrying about Tracy. The Northern Lariat only gets two. Joe fights back and hits the Musclebuster at 15:47. Tracy’s unconsciousness was never explained on the show, but it apparently wasn’t part of the angle. Perhaps she was strangled unconscious by her own breasts? The match was a little above average. Roode just feels like he’s going over the top into cartoon character status. Sure, it worked for Dibiase, but that was 20 years ago. **1/2 A frustrated Kurt Angle tries to storm the limo, but Sting fends him off. Kurt will just have to wait for the match. Christian says Kaz will not make a name at his expense. He’s so confident that he tells AJ and Tomko to hang back. #1 Contenders Ladder Match: Christian Cage vs. Kaz. Kaz gets an early advantage with a series of kicks, but Christian jumps him as he’s bringing in the ladder. Kaz springboards into a crossbody, wiping out Christian with the ladder. Ooh. Christian is cut open over the eye after that. He toughs it out and grabs a second ladder, stretching it between the apron and barrier. He puts Kaz on it and delivers a frogsplash off the top! The crowd “ooohs” for that one. Christian goes up, but Kaz rushes in and tips the ladder. Kaz reverses a whip, sending Christian into a ladder, but Christian tosses the ladder right in his face as Kaz charges in. Kaz swings the ladder like a baseball bat and sends Christian to the floor. He’s slow to go up, though, so Christian is able to set up another ladder. Kaz signals for the Flux Capacitor, but Christian knocks him down and delivers the reverse DDT off the ladder. Christian sets up a ladder in the corner, but Kaz monkeyflips him onto it and hits a springboard legdrop. Kaz sets up a ladder in the corner and then realizes he can’t reach the contract from there. Well, duh. He decides to try a legdrop instead, but he’s taken so long that Christian is able to move out of the way, and Kaz’s leg hits the ladder. Cool spot as Christian goes up and Kaz springboard dropkicks the ladder out from under him. And the cool thing is that Christian doesn’t take one of those slow tip-overs. The ladder just goes flying and so does Christian. AJ Styles and Tomko come down, but Christian doesn’t want their help. Kaz and Christian fight on a ladder as they go up, and the ladder tips over. Christian spills all the way to the floor, knocking out Tomko and Styles. Kaz catches himself on the top rope, though, allowing him to push the ladder back upright and retrieve the clipboard at 15:05. Kaz has the look and is an exciting wrestler. It’ll remain to be seen whether he can get a good character behind him to match. Right now, he’s just a smaller Chris Harris. At least they’re pushing young homegrown talent. **** Storm and EY continue to drink. This is some APA-level stuff. Storm tips over and passes out. Jackie: Damn! That sumbitch is out! EY declares himself the new Drinking Champ of the World and takes the spinner title. TNA Heavyweight Title: Kurt Angle & Kevin Nash vs. Sting & A Mystery Partner. Yes, the world title is being defended in a tag match, which might be fine if the partners liked each other. Wouldn’t a four-way match make more sense, given the context of the feud… or using common sense? Nash is going with the wet hair look, making him look less like Kenny Rogers and more like Michael McDonald. The mystery tag partner winds up being Booker T. Spiffy. I also like his music, which sounds like his old Kraftwerks-ish theme as done by Tangerine Dream. Sting outwrestles Angle early on, so Kurt scurries over and tags in Nash. I’d say Nash looks rusty, but then how can you tell? Booker finally tags in and gets a HUGE POP. Kurt runs again. Nash takes over on Booker, and champ and his surrogate cut off the ring. Sting gets the hot tag and puts Nash in the Scorpion Deathlock. Angle breaks it up as Karen Angle comes down in support. Nash tags out as I wonder why you would ever do that because it costs you an opportunity to earn the pin and the title. Thankfully, Nash remembers that and breaks up his own partner’s pinfall attempt. Booker tags in again and powerslams Angle. He follows that up with a spinebuster and the SPINAROONIE! AXE KICK! ONE, TWO, THRE-Nash makes the save. Angle goes low, allowing Nash to Jackknife Booker. Sting comes in, though, and hits Nash with a reverse DDT. Karen has the ref distracted, though, allowing AJ Styles and Tomko to return and attack Sting. That brings out Sharmell to brawl with Karen. Kurt the Sneaky Bastard grabs his title, takes out Nash with it, and hits Sting with the Angleslam at 13:38. Lots of the usually TNA main event nonsense, but at least this changes the dynamic of the main event and spins things into a new storyline instead of the usual “well, we don’t know what else to do.” The match was about average and felt a lot like a late 1990s WCW main event. **1/4 After the match, Kurt celebrates with his new homies AJ and Tomko as Christian Cage returns to glare at them from the ramp. Good stuff there. The 411: I’m torn on the future of TNA. One the one hand, they seem to realize that building homegrown non-WWE stars is a good thing with the newfound pushes of Kaz and the Motor City Machine Guns, but they’re also keeping WWE castoffs in the main event, so it feels like they’re creating a WCW-like glass ceiling. Call the show a lukewarm thumbs up thanks to the tag match and the ladder match, but the future is murky. Very mild thumbs up.