The Tuesday Small-For-All News Report: 10.19.10

Write for Me… I Mean, Us!!!

By now all of you have seen the posting in the News Section – 411Mania is hiring! As a veteran on the Wrestling team (if there were Championships to win, I’d probably have been both a US Champion and a Knockout Champion by now), I highly recommend writing for 411. Five years ago, I was infected with a writing bug which led me to apply for an Online Heat reporting position. While those days of awesome internet television are over (same applies for Slimmer’s career), that Heat report helped launch me into the asshole news reporter that I am today.

So if you are interested in voicing your opinions, dealing with snarky comments made by random guests, and having some fun writing about something that interests you – I definitely recommend this gig. Trust me, it’s not easy coming up with material each week but it’s been quite fulfilling. Where else could I channel my love for Khali without being looked upon as weirdo? Where else could I say a bunch of fucked up things and actually get some kudos for them? And what else could help me land the #5 spot on a Google search for “Jeff Small”? It sure beats the porn industry.

Recently, I have had the time to check out a few noobz on the Wrestling page… and I was impressed. Greg De Marco had a solid first 5 & 1 news report (kudos to him for implementing a solid format). I read Obi Justice’s Grand Stage which had an interesting viewpoint muddled in a little too much writing. But I am confident Obi will curb the excess talking and streamline his point of view in subsequent editions. Lastly, I read Randy McNally’s The League because I was really hoping there would be hot chicks of that Spanish chick from the FX Show. Even though there was not, I thought he had a neat concept that could work if he possibly included angles to the scoring and decrease the emphasis on match time (though I understand the relationship between drives and match times). I like the ratings but I will take an awesome two minute match (say 80 yard TD to Greg Jennings) over a meandering ten minute match any day of the week (like the majority of Sunday’s Pats vs. Ravens’s game). That said, it is refreshing to see 411’s new blood start off strong.

Remember to send in your writing samples to both Ashish ([email protected] ) and Larry ([email protected]) in case you are interested. And if you are interested in replacing the Small-For-All News Report…

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Wait for it…

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DO IT!!!

WHAMMY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

In today’s news report, we discuss the potential return of Tough Enough, Batista’s recent interview with ESPN, Freddie Prinze Jr’s return, A Bloopers DVD, A New TNA DVD, news on Jeff Hardy’s heel turn, and my Raw Thoughts. Let’s get it on!

NEWS FROM TITAN TOWERS

The Return of Tough Enough?

Not really sure where this rumor started but in the last six hours this has been all the rage on the intranetz and in basementz. Oh it’s from Deadline.com, a Hollywood Breaking News website. Accoridng to the article, “USA Network continues its genre expansion with a big push in reality programming. The top basic cable network is close to ordering its first unscripted series in 5 years, WWE Tough Enough. It is also in the process of hiring a reality executive, and USA programming president Jeff Wachtel has been meeting with top reality production companies to talk about his plans in the arena. USA’s revival of Tough Enough actually came together separately from its current efforts in the unscripted area and stems from the network’ relationship with WWE through USA staple WWE Raw. Tough Enough, which features contestants competing for a contract with WWE, ran on MTV for 3 seasons, and in 2004 it moved to UPN where it aired for a season as part of SmackDown. On USA, it also is expected to run in tandem with USA’s WWE Raw series.”

Well it’s no Dr. Steve-O but it will do. Honestly, with the fact that no television network wanted NXT on air, it would only make sense for the WWE to try to re-invent Tough Enough. Unlike NXT, Tough Enough was a much better concept since it is a lot easier to get involved with aspiring wrestlers trying to fulfill their dreams rather a bunch of FCW wrestlers that would be promoted to the main roster at some point. While NXT tried to differentiate itself at first with Pro challenges for their Rookies, it became nothing more than worthless matches and even more worthless challenges. Granted NXT did give the WWE a much needed boost of youth energy but it did not make for much “newsworthy” television.

On the other hand, Tough Enough could work, largely thanks to its hiatus. By the time TE3 ended, most people were burnt out from it as three back to back seasons were too much. Now, TE might seem fresh again. Use the WWE Veteran and Retired stars as the trainers, find eight male superstars that have stories to tell, and keep the action away from the ring as much as possible. The original TE was must-see television; there’s no reason why TE5 wouldn’t also be. Plus, you never know, the WWE might find its next big thing from it.

Oh and if USA Networks were to air TE before Monday Night Raw, well, I feel bad for the sucker who has to recap all of it for three hours straight.

The Animal Unleashed

From a recent interview with ESPN’s Page 2, Batista spoke on a variety of topics including why he left the WWE. Here are the highlights:

Why He Left WWE: “I didn’t agree with the direction the company was going in. It was geared more toward the PG rating. I fell in love with wrestling again in the late ’90s with ‘Stone Cold’ Steve Austin and ‘The Rock’ Dwayne Johnson … It was edgy, and that was the kind of wrestling I knew and loved. It wasn’t like that anymore, and my passion for it died a little bit.”

Return to Wrestling: “I’m hoping the cycle will come around again, and it’ll get a little edgy and it’ll be my time to come back and shine a little bit. I love kids. I’m not anti-kids. I just don’t think kids are going to relate to me the same way they’re going to guys like John Cena, guys who are, to me, more bubblegum. There’s nothing bubblegum about me.”

Batista is one of the first wrestlers to speak out against the WWE’s PG direction. I am sure others might not be happy with the company’s change to kid-friendly television but it is refreshing to hear someone outright say it. That said, there was not much edginess about Batista’s character except for his machine gun fireworks display. In fact, his heel turn at the beginning of the year was some of his best work and that was under the PG umbrella. Perhaps Batista was unhappier with the WWE’s storylines than the PG rating.

As for his return to wrestling, I am not sure how many are clamoring a return for the Animal to the squared circle. Unlike other wrestlers, Batista is not known for his classic matches or his promos. He was a solid hand, an entertaining one, and made for a good champion that fans pushed to the top. He had a solid run at top and while I would have liked to see his heel character continue, his retirement worked. That said, I would not be surprised to see him come back to the WWE one final time for a final championship run and more new women to bone. Especially the latter.

Biten Newsbites

Stolen from all your favorite sources:

Finally, Freddie Prinze Jr has come back to the WWE! He returns as a producer-director who will largely be in charge of backstage and taped segments.

I wonder if Prinze will finally get his revenge on Randy Orton now!

WWE creative plans to have Pee Wee Herman and Superstars participate in “Pee Wee’s Playhouse” backstage segments when the comedian hosts Monday Night Raw on Nov. 1 in Nashville, Tennessee.

And that’s how Prinze will do it! I wonder what the secret word is going to be. Here’s hoping it’s public masturbation!

Walmart will be releasing an exclusive WWE DVD in a two-pack with Knucklehead starring Big Show. “WWE’s Biggest Knuckleheads” will be a one-disc release focusing on the WWE’s biggest bloopers and will be available only with Knucklehead at Walmart stores.

I’m totally picking this up if only for the Blooper DVD. Seriously! It’s the closest we will ever get to a Great Khali DVD set!

BREAKING NEWS – tonight’s Raw will feature both Raw and Smackdown Superstars to hype this coming Sunday’s PPV! Smell the excitement.

And here’s Teddy Long, Smackdown GM, to start the show. Immediately, he gets into a pissing battle with the Anonymous Raw GM.

In a sense of continuity (praise Freddie Prince Jr.), Long brings up the fact that Team Smackdown when the Bragging Rights Trophy last year. As winners, the team received a $5 lunch at Cici’s, a copy of Mick Foley’s latest book, and a XXL size snuggie.

So Edge has been off of Raw for one week and already receives face pops from the crowd. Who says people only watch one brand?

I’m glad that Tyler Reks is not a surfing face anymore but his “scary” persona does not do much for me yet. If it did not work for Sean O Haire, I doubt it’s going to work for Reks. He’d be better off calling himself Rellik (which is killer backwards).

Ezekiel Jackson on Team Raw? When did that happen? And why does Raw have so many jobbers on the team?

Wouldn’t it be better if there were real bragging rights for the winners? Perhaps, have the winning brand get the main event slot at WrestleMania (ala MLB’s All Star Game)? Or the winning brand drafts one of their opponents to their roster? Or the losing brand has to streak around the quad? Any of those options would be better than a stupid trophy.

How is this Barrett/Cena exchange from last week “uncomfortable?” C’mon Michael Cole, we are witnessed Mark Henry getting a blowjob from Sammi, the transvestite.

OMG Knucklead looks amazing. There are fart jokes, pretty princesses, and most importantly, that dude that guest hosted Raw last year! What else do you need, America?

I don’t know what’s worse – leaving Legacy to become a tag team wrestler again OR leaving Legacy to have a singles feud with Goldust? If it wasn’t for Maryse, I’d pick the latter.

Did they ever explain why DH Smith missed Raw last week?

HOGAN LEGDROP by Smith for two. My God, Drew McIntyre must be the Chosen One!

VINTAGE WWE – breaking up the only true tag team you have!

Can someone teach Eve how to dougie?

Damn, Zack Ryder gets no love. He has awesome theme music, an awesome catchphrase, and awesome tights. Why can’t he get a decent midcard push?

I wonder: did the WWE break up Legacy so Cody Rhodes would not interfere with a Ted DiBiase vs. Dustin Rhodes feud?

First time ever – Randy Orton invades Smackdown (if you forget about him debuting on Smackdown and being drafted back to Smackdown in 2005)!

Damn that little black kid from Role Models is jacked. And why the fuck is not playing on a PSP?

Man, Husky looks huskier on Monday Night Raw.

And let me get this straight – Kaval, the NXT Season 2 winner, is a jobber on Smackdown while Husky Harris (#4) and Michael McGuillicutty (#2) are part of the Nexus storyline. And you can’t forget that Alex Riley (#3) is also a main part of Raw. So what does this tell you kids? Lucky Cannon is fucked.

Pity there was no FURKO this match. Remember that SWANK move?

Finally, the WWE put some heat on the WWE Championship match with Barrett using NEXUS to get one up on Orton. It’s sad that this match feels pretty DOA compared to both the tag match and the Buried Alive match.

Yes, Vickie Guerrero on Raw! My wildest dreams have come true.

Holy Impromptu PPV feud between Dolph Ziggler and Daniel Bryan! Quick prediction – Ziggler wins at Bragging Rights via Lance Storm interference! Why? Because Bryan just stole his “if I can be serious for a minute” line.

So um, Vickie is humiliated by having glitter thrown on her. I thought she loves foreign substances on her face.

BONER ALERT! BONER ALERT! BONER ALERT! Daniel Bryan is dancing with the Divas!

You rang?

Nice – another one minute rematch of Natalya vs. Alicia Fox from three weeks ago. Even better – LayCool picking on the Harts and Labatt Blue to gain some heat leading into the Divas match at Bragging Rights. Best of all – Grooveshark for all your music needs!

Solid PR video for the WWE. Not sure how I could stand up for the WWE outside of brainwashing CT voters to vote for Vince McMahon or stop stealing their PPVs. Hmm…

So what happened to the Miz vs. Big Show match? And to end the show with a battle royal two weeks after a #1 contender’s battle royal makes me long for the days of handicap matches.

Yawn, wake me up when the battle royale ends.

With Smackdown winning the battle royal and defeating Raw a ton of times on PPV, methinks that Raw pulls it out this Sunday.

Are we really ending with John Cena raising Barrett’s hand? I guess we are.

While I give the WWE credit for finally building to the Bragging Rights PPV, there’s nothing on this week’s Raw or even the PPV that screams “Must Buy.” Nexus vs. Cena is by far the best storyline in the WWE but we know that nothing will be concluded or possibly even furthered at the PPV. Just only a Wasteland counter into a RKO. As for the Bragging Rights tag team match, until there’s actually a prize that is worthwhile, I cannot see anyone getting excited for that match (especially with Survivor Series one month away).

NEWS FROM O-TOWN

Biten Newsbites

Nothing too groundbreaking this week as far as TNA news. Sure I could make a mention about TNA Impact having its best ratings since January but we all know it’s not about a one week boost, it’s about a four to six week ratings trend. Let’s revisit this in a few weeks.

TNA will release their “Greatest Moments” DVD set tomorrow. Here is the official preview with some of the featured content:

Relive some of the TNA Wrestling’s Greatest Moments from 2007 to the present on this DVD. Greatest Moments features some of TNA’s most monumental and surprising moments you will want to remember such as:
– Kurt Angle becomes the first TNA Champion at Slammiversary 2007
– Mick Foley’s arrival to TNA Wrestling in September 2008
– Sting’s Bound For Glory winning streak
– Kurt Angle vs. Sting (Empty Arena Match)
– Tara’s debut
– First Ever Knockouts Tag Team Champions crowned at No Surrender 2009
– TNA President Dixie Carter announces Hulk Hogan joining TNA at Madison Square Garden press conference
– Team 3D wins 23rd Tag Team Title at Bound For Glory 2009
– Jeff Hardy returns to TNA
– Hulk Hogan and Ric Flair return to the ring on iMPACT
– RVD defeats Jeff Hardy & AJ Styles on the same night at iMPACT to win the World Title
– Plus much more & exclusive interviews from your TNA favorites

That’s a lot of great moments featuring WWE superstars! I’m shocked that Booker T’s or Lashley’s debuts will not be on the DVD. Honestly, I just hope there are full matches on the DVD set. If they are just clips, then this DVD is really worthless no matter how many times I could watch Ric Flair’s return to Impact.

The decision to turn Jeff Hardy heel happened approximately two months ago. The creative team wanted the TNA Champion to be part of “They” so it was decided that either Hardy or RVD would be the prime options.

While I think Hardy was a better choice than RVD for a heel turn, I just think there had to be better options here. Sure Hardy got great heel heat last week; however, will it last? Or will fans be clamoring the return of the fun loving Jeff Hardy in a few weeks?

Katie Lea Burchill has signed a contract with TNA.

Solid pickup for TNA. Let’s hope the TNA writers have better storylines for her than just being Paul Burchill’s brother.

Ken Anderson was injured last week on Impact.

Injured.

COMING ATTRACTIONS

Next week, the Swayze Malebag will return! I know I promised it this week but one more week of feedback can’t be a bad thing. Until then…

For the Tuesday Small-For-All News Report, I’m Jeff Small… and you’re not!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!