wrestling / Columns
The Tuesday Small-For-All News Report: 10.26.10
Cleanin’ Out the Malebag
It’s been at least a month since our last malebag so let’s not waste any time keeping Swayze buried any longer.
Small Luv
From Some Random Guest, “i love you small, please have my babies, we can name them all after Khali.”
Outside of Prince Poon Small, I do not see too many great Great Khali names. I’d still rather name my kids after the 2004 Detroit Pistons – Chauncey Rip Small and Tayshaun Rasheed Small. And don’t forget about their illegitimate half-brother, Large Medium.
Tough Enough
From midcard madness, “I’m conflicted about tough enough. With all the guys in FCW waiting to be called up, how is it going to be if the WWE just brings in 8 new green guys to try and get a job with the company? Is the WWE going to go with the FCW guys or brand new ones?”
Tough Enough would focus on eight wannabe wrestlers fighting for one (or four) WWE contracts. With FCW ravaged due to NXT Seasons 1 and 2 (there are currently 9 NXT superstars on WWE programming now), the brand really needs a talent influx. If the WWE were to go with FCW guys, it would just be NXT all over again.
“They” Logic
From kcstlchi, “June 17th- Abyss chokeslams Hardy off of the stage and through a table
June 24th- Abyss tells Hogan “they” are coming and then chokes him while shoving hogans ring down his throat. Later on Hogan hits Abyss with a chair
July 1st- Hogan and Abyss brawl. Hardy makes the save by giving Abyss the twist of fate and a senton. Later Abyss and Hardy have a match full of hatred induced violence.
July 8th- Hardy and Mr. Anderson double team Abyss and hit him with a chair
Aug 19th- Hardy and Abyss have a nearly 5 minute backstage brawl
Oct 7th- Abyss eliminates Jarrett and Hardy from a battle royal costing them “100,000 dollars”
Oct 10th- SWERVE!!!!”
When you type it out, it really makes a lot more sense. Sucks that none of us saw it coming (I still though They would have been a stable featuring Chavo Classic). Granted, most of us were trying to use logic but that really needs to be thrown out the window when Vince Russo books.
The Truth About Austin
Some “friendly” discussion between MBD and Some Random Guest. Here’s where it ended:
Austin walked out because creative wanted him to job to Brock Lesnar on free TV, and Austin felt that it should happen on PPV, but why let the truth get in the way of your rant, right?
Posted By: Guest#7750 (Guest) on October 12, 2010 at 10:59 AM
They forgot about Austin in 2002. He headlined Mania the year before, and at X8 he was in the middle of the card. They wanted him to job out to a rookie on free tv with no promotion. They forgot about him. That’s the truth.
Posted By: MBD (Guest) on October 12, 2010 at 04:10 PM
After hearing both sides of the argument, I need to side with Some Random Guest. Steve Austin was actually offered the match against Hulk Hogan for WrestleMania X-8 before the Rock and turned it down. Austin did not want to work with Hogan due to beef stemming from WCW. The Rock obviously accepted the match and with the Triple H set to win the WWE Championship, Austin played third fiddle against Scott Hall (remember, the NWO invasion was played to be a “big deal”).
The WWE tried to appease Austin afterwards with a feud against the Undertaker (which cured insomnia) and a subsequent feud with Ric Flair. Austin felt it was just a retread of the McMahon feud (which it was) and asked for a matchup with Eddie Guerrero (which was slated to happen at King of the Ring). One week after his feud with Eddie began, Austin was booked to job to Lesnar and bolted from the company. While I could understand his frustration, he had no right of leaving the WWE high and dry. It fucked up major storylines, pissed off many of his co-workers, and was really unprofessional. Austin was not being forgotten by the WWE. Rather, he was being phased out of the main event scene, which did not make him happy.
Shocking Discoveries
From The Rick, “Small…I want you to think about what’s worse…
1. The Fact that Wade Barrett was never FCW champion
or 2. The fact that Wade Barrett was never FCW champion – but Heath Slater WAS.
The mind boggles.”
Are you fucking kidding me? Heath Slater was a FCW Champion? I can’t believe it. You sure?
Wait for it…
Wait for it…
Yes, yes…
You’re not fucking with me? Heath Slater really was a FCW Champion?
WHAMMY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Welcome back to the only news report that has removed its upper teeth and replaced them with diamonds, the Small-For-All News Report! In today’s news report, we discuss Dana White kills the dream, the original Bragging Rights plans, unhappy veterans, what it would have taken for Paul Heyman to join TNA, and a possible return of a Small-For-All favorite!
NEWS FROM TITAN TOWERS
Dana White Kills the Dream
The big news stemming from this past weekend was not anything that happened at Bragging Rights; rather, it was a five second confrontation between the Undertaker and Brock Lesnar after Lesnar’s loss at UFC 121. Immediately after the brief exchange of words, news broke that the WWE had offered Lesnar a match with the Undertaker for WrestleMania 27.
After reading that on Sunday, I must admit to being very anxious to see that match. Granted, I still have nightmares of their Biker Chain anti-classic at No Mercy 2003 (which I saw live), but it would still be, by far, the most talked about Mania matchup since Trump vs. McMahon. Not only would it be based on real life heat (Taker was pissed at the way Lesnar left the company especially after putting him over in 02 and 03), but it would be an interpromotional match between a WWE wrestler and a UFC fighter. Throw in Taker’s undefeated streak and the notion of Lesnar only returning if he’d get a win? This matchup would be the talk of the town (unless Triple H returns).
Unfortunately before the buttons on my pants could explode, UFC Owner Dana White had to kill my boner by pronouncing the match DOA. Clearly he had to do this as Lesnar is under contract and he does not need the WWE to build buzz at the expense of his fighter. But man, why kill the dream?
Vintage Bragging Rights
Turns out the original Bragging Rights plans had both the WWE Championship and World Heavyweight Championship changing hands. From Figure4Weekly, “The Undertaker was originally scheduled to win the World Heavyweight Title at last night’s Bragging Rights pay-per-view but those plans were changed due to his injury problems. It was reported recently that Taker needed time off for shoulder surgery. Taker reportedly has a torn rotator cuff and will have it operated on but that still is not confirmed.
As seen last night, WWE did the Buried Alive Match finish with Nexus attacking Taker, allowing Kane to get the win. This was done in a way to protect Taker’s image as he had already lost to Kane on two straight pay-per-views – the No Holds Barred Match at Night of Champions and the match at Hell in a Cell.”
First, I am glad that Kane is still World Heavyweight Champion. Since winning the title at Money in the Bank, Kane has been on top of his game with some great promos. Sure, his matches haven’t been as good but they have been serviceable enough (well except for his recent matches with Taker). And while I understand that Kane needs his comeuppance, Taker’s been champion every year for the last four years. That’s absurd. Kane still feels fresh as champion and I look forward to see his next feud.
As for Taker’s injury, tough break for the Deadman. Here’s hoping he opts for the surgery now so he can be back 100% for Mania. Especially for his match against Brock Lesnar. Damn you Dana White.
In addition, “WWE’s creative brass had planned last week for Wade Barrett to win the WWE Championship at Bragging Rights.”
I must say that I agree with the decision to keep the title on Orton. Orton’s only been champion since September and is massively over with the WWE Universe. Plus, the Barrett/Orton matchup had a lackluster build (if any) heading into Bragging Rights so it makes sense to do the title change four weeks later at Survivor Series. If the WWE is smart, they can really build the feud over the next month so that the title change will come off as something memorable.
Angry Veterans
From the Torch, “There is said to be much frustration amongst the veteran WWE wrestlers not currently being pushed. Many feel they are being pushed aside due to the organization’s youth movement initiative. Matt Hardy garnered a lot of sympathy with his former peers as they felt that he was among the wrestlers company officials didn’t have long-term plans for.
MVP has developed heat backstage for moaning about the company’s younger performers being promoted ahead of him. In fact, MVP mentioned on Twitter that he wanted to change his look with a new haircut but couldn’t because WWE wouldn’t give him permission due to likeness issues with action figures, video games and other merchandise. MVP called it “a can of worms.”
While I can understand the frustration for some of the WWE’s veteran workers, complaining about it is not the right way to go about things. Unlike real sports, wrestling is predetermined (shocker) and not every superstar is cut out to be a main eventer. There are wrestlers that are needed to make others look good. Take a look at Chavo Guerrero – after a year jobbing against Hornswoggle, he now can fulfill his dream of being the Swagger Soaring Eagle. And why does it he do? Well, a) he gets paid and b) he’s been treated pretty well by the WWE (numerous Cruiserweight and ECW reigns). Look at Goldust – the guy just got a PPV payday after years without a meaningful program. The WWE does reward veterans – just not with main event pushes.
I fail to see why MVP needs to complain backstage. He debuted and was given an initial feud with Kane. He had a few US Champion reigns. When it was time to push him to the upper card on Raw, he never connected with the audience the same way others do. I really like MVP. But he’s not over enough to be a main eventer. If he disagrees with this, then it’s his time to use whatever time he has on Smackdown and make an impact. Sure a new look could help (and I definitely agree that it’s necessary), but until then, he should not go through the motions (ala Carlito) and go hard every night. The same applied to Matt Hardy. He was a solid ECW Champion and even had a profile WrestleMania match against his uber-popular brother. Problem was his heel character flopped with the crowd and it was way too early to turn him back face. Throw in his stomach and health issues and his “big time opportunity” was squandered.
Not everyone’s going to be a winner, here, kids. Just like a 411, some of us write news reports, while others write once a month to justify paying for WWE PPVs.
The Return
And if your Tuesday has started off on the wrong foot, here’s some news to cheer you up.
Now why couldn’t he have been in “They?” Or perhaps he could be the driving force behind the Nexus? The possibilities are endless.
A much better effort from Raw this week. We had three long competitive matches, a few storylines were progressed, and the entire night flew by. If only Santino could have gotten the Apollo Creed treatment… At least, then we could have gotten a stew made.
NEWS FROM O-TOWN
Paul Heyman’s Extreme Demands
From Dot Net, “Paul Heyman feels that his negotiations with TNA came to a close a while back when Dixie Carter refused to grant him the power to make talent changes without her consent.
Heyman’s budget plan called for roughly $1 million in talent cuts, and $200,000 in talent additions via the indy and international scenes, meaning the company would have trimmed $800,000 from its talent budget. He was also frustrated that his job description wasn’t laid out in specific terms.
Heyman wanted to hire former WWE creative team member Dave Lagana and Dragon Gate USA booker Gabe Sapolsky to work as part of his office team. However, Heyman insists that he has moved on and would pass if Carter reached out and offered him the same deal he was previously seeking.”
Interesting news from this Dot Net Audio Interview. A few months ago, it appeared that Heyman was all ready to sign with TNA but that buzz quickly subsided. Now we have the real reasons why.
One thing I agree with Heyman is the massive need to cut TNA’s roster, especially with the big name contracts. This probably was the biggest hurdle for Heyman to clear as Dixie was largely responsible for bringing in Sting, Hogan, Foley, and the rest of the big name talents. While those are clearly not producing many dividends for the company now, they were very big deals for the company at the time. Throw in the fact that Spike TV was a major driving force behind these acquisitions so could Heyman even get rid of them?
While turning to the indy scene would freshen up TNA’s roster and bring new characters to light, it definitely would not bring the ratings at first. Would Spike TV have given Heyman his five years to turn the ship around? We all have seen Heyman’s relationship with TNN in the past; could he handle working with another network?
Granted, it all does not matter now. It appears that this dream is also dead.
Thank God for the return of the Boogeyman.
COMING ATTRACTIONS
Anxious to know what the Great Khali has been up to? Tune in next week for the return of the Khali-For-All as we tackle the newest reality star in the making! Until then…
For the Tuesday Small-For-All News Report, I’m Jeff Small… and you’re not!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
