Universal Wrestling Federation (9.27.1986) Review

-Cold open: We flash back to the close of last week’s show, with Michael Hayes & Ted DiBiase taking turns whipping each other.

-Your hosts are Jim Ross and Ted DiBiase. Ted DiBiase warns Michael Hayes that from now on, he’s only wearing Levis, to ensure that he always has a belt on him.

JUMPIN’ JOE SAVOLDI vs. JEFF RAITZ
-JR anticipates a scientific match. They criss-cross into a hiptoss by Savoldi. Flying headscissors follows but an elbow misses and Raitz takes over with a slam for two. There’s a detail that’s gradually slipped away from this promotion since I started watching it. It used to be that you’d see progress in a match where early pinfall attempts go to a one, and then as the match progressed, they’d move up to two-counts, and then the three. That actually felt realistic. Raitz getting a two from his first offensive move of the match feels less so.

-Savoldi fights back and works the arm. Raitz tries to whip him into the corner but Savoldi does a SWEET counter, slingshotting himself over the top rope to avoid the impact and slingshotting right back in, chopping Raitz down for two. Backdrop by Savoldi. Raitz tries a cradle out of desperation, but Savoldi rolls over and reverses it for three. Good clean fight.

-We recap the controversial finish of the Williams/Gordy title match, and a review of the tape has determined that what happened was even more complicated than we thought, because both guys rolled a shoulder, so NEITHER pinfall should have been counted and both referees screwed this one up.

-Dr. Death concedes that, okay, he didn’t win, but he didn’t lose either, and he wants that belt! Well, hell, just steal Ted DiBiase’s pants, then!

FREEBIRD BUDDY ROBERTS vs. BOBBY PEREZ
-Ah, Buddy Roberts, the “Professor and Mary Ann” of the Fabulous Freebirds. His entrance here is a prime example of why “The Boys are Back in Town” is bad entrance music for a heel, because the fans react to the sound with a pop just as a total reflex. It’s too “up.”

-Roberts hammers Perez while Ted DiBiase clarifies that he doesn’t want to whip Roberts because Roberts would probably like that. JR hypes the upcoming tour of two-ring battle royals coming to your town as Perez snaps Roberts’ neck across the top rope and whips him. The Irish version, which Roberts probably isn’t into. Roberts counters a corner charge and bulldogs Perez for three.

TV TITLE: TERRY TAYLOR (Champion) vs. ONE MAN GANG (with Savannah Jack, Leroy Brown, & Skandar Akbar)
-So the odds are already stackified against Terry. The champ dodges charges by Gang and goes for a waistlock, but, uh, he can’t actually lock a waist that size, so the move goes wrong. Terry dodges another charge, and Gang finally gives up on trying to use speed and wrings the arm.

-Taylor reverses and snaps the arm so hard that Gang actually collapses to the mat. Gang gets to his feet and rams Taylor into the corner, and JR is already calling the match and packing up his headset to hit Kip’s Big Boy before they close but WAIT. Taylor is throwing dropkicks and gets Gang off his feet again.

-Savannah tries to interfere but gets knocked off the apron. Taylor applies a sleeper, and Gang looks like he’s about to pass out, but everyone on the floor hits the ring as JR speculates that this was a trap that they had set for him the whole time. Yeah, I suspected something when Gang had three large men join him and stay at ringside the whole time. Babyface locker room hurries out and clears the ring, but Taylor is busted open.

VALET FOR A DAY
-We go to Dark Journey’s house, where she promises to do the white glove test on everything that Missy has to clean. Missy actually shows up wearing a sequined evening down, jewelry, and arm-length gloves to clean the house. Missy Hyatt puts them on the glass–the Windex and paper towels, specifically–and then vacuums while whining that John Tatum screwed up the match. In a great touch, Missy’s not even sure how to use a vacuum cleaner, swiping it over the carpet like a pushbroom.

-Missy does the dishes, ruining her nail polish and again just totally cursing John Tatum’s name for forcing her to do this. Dark Journey makes her clean the bathroom to make sure Missy’s knees get a workout(!) Great segment but one curious detail–the two of them clearly were never in the house at the same time when this was shot.

ICEMAN KING PARSONS & CHAVO GUERRERO vs. STING & RICK STEINER (with Eddie Gilbert)
-Eddie Gilbert announces that Hyatt/Hot Stuff International will never reconnect UNLESS Missy ditches John Tatum.

-Sting mows down Iceman with shoulderblocks. Iceman comes back with his own shoulderblocks, and Sting decides to bail out. Steiner gains control, with the commentators marveling at how fast he’s improved since joining Gilbert. Chavo fights back with a savate kick as John Tatum hauls ass to the ring and picks a fight with Eddie Gilbert. The brawl spills into the ring, and the post-match antics are great, as Chavo and Iceman just hang out and watch their enemies kick the shit out of each other and treat it like they’re watching a movie.

-Missy Hyatt hurries to the ring and says that if Eddie and John don’t learn to co-exist, she’s dumping BOTH of them, and that stops the fighting right in its tracks, and everybody leaves peacefully.

8.1

The final score: review Very Good

The 411

Missy Hyatt's your MVP this week.