What’s All the Hubbub: Tombstone, the History of the Undertaker, Disc 2

I figure this is as good a time as any to point out the idiocy of the packaging. The set is three discs, but there’s only one disc slot in the case. This leads to unnecessary scratching, and as a consequence my disc is scratched up. Find an insert with two disc slots for this thing.

Match Quality: This rating is an objective view on the quality of the match as compared to other matches. Factors that go into the rating include storytelling, execution, match psychology, character psychology, workrate, difficulty of moves, and crowd heat, in that order.
Personal Enjoyment: This part is a little harder to explain. The best way to describe it is that sometimes, I like a match more than other matches that are technically better. Sometimes, a match that isn’t technically bad, I will hate for whatever reason. Since this is my bias, take this rating as my opinion.
Match Rating: The average of the two ratings, which will hopefully give the most accurate portrayal of how good a match is. It’s hard to measure intangibles (that’s why they are called intangibles), but this should give you a good idea. Average ratings like ***5/8 will be rounded up to ***3/4, etc.

Also, my rating scale is a little different than others:

***** = A True Classic
****1/2 = Amazing
**** = Great
***1/2 = Very Good
*** = Good
**1/2 = Average
** = Solid
*1/2 = Passable
* = Poor
1/2* = Bad
DUD = Terrible
Negative Stars = Insulting

When we left off, Shawn Michaels had unintentionally cost the Undertaker his World Title when Bret Hart dodged a chair shot at Summer Slam. However, Shawn would retaliate with some very intentional chair shots in a tag team match where he teamed with Hunter Hearst Helmsley. They both cut solid promos going into the match, including this gem from Taker: “When the blood flowed, I took the blood and I signed your death warrant with it.”

The Undertaker vs. Shawn Michaels
In Your House: Ground Zero, September 7, 1997
If you are someone who loathes Shawn Michaels, this much could be therapy. Taker is in a foul mood, and the first thing he does is punch out a referee. The Deadman just destroys Shawn Michaels for several minutes before the match even begins, and most of the match goes along that way. Shawn plays the cowardly heel to perfection here. He bumps like Curt Hennig and gets no offense of consequence unless it’s a cheap shot like a chop block or countering a back body drop with a neckbreaker. After that spot there’s a hilarious moment where Shawn is trying to catch his breath, but turns around to see Taker do his zombie sit-up and bolts out of the ring.

There is so much working against this match. In many ways it feels like a twenty minute squash, but Shawn is just so entertaining as a ragdoll that it doesn’t matter. There are no less than five referee bumps and run-ins by Rick Rude, Helmsley, and Chyna. Eventually Tim White comes out and throws the match out, but the carnage doesn’t stop there as DX double team the Phenom and the roster comes out for a pull-apart brawl. Taker fights past the superstars trying to restrain him and hits a huge dive onto those trying to restrain Michaels. Taker stands tall after one of the most chaotic matches you will ever see.

In this day and age, a match like this would happen on RAW instead of a PPV. The match is Undertaker getting his pound of flesh against Shawn without getting his victory. It leads perfectly into a rematch. With all of the shenanigans and the fact that it was way too one-sided, I won’t lie and say that this is a good match. But man is it ever entertaining.

Match Quality: **3/4
Personal Enjoyment: ****1/4
Match Rating: ***1/2

They would then have a match inside the revolutionary Hell in a Cell.

Hell in a Cell Match: The Undertaker vs. Shawn Michaels
In Your House: Badd Blood, October 5, 1997
This match is something special. The first several minutes is like watching a cat playing with a mouse before he eats it. Shawn runs all over the place and Taker just takes his time dishing out as much punishment as possible. He does some nice spots including a back body drop where Shawn’s feet graze the roof and doing the bearhug rams into the cage and the post. Shawn is probably the only person that can make a beating so brutal be so comedic. Eventually Shawn uses the steel steps, the cage, and a steel chair to get an advantage. There’s a really nice character moment where Shawn hits the flying forearm and comically sprawls before the knip up when he was obviously in control. Unfortunately, all of that cockiness disappears when Taker no-sells his Sweet Chin Music. Normally, I’d bash the no-selling of a finisher, but it works in the context of the story.

Of course, as fun as watching the Undertaker destroy Shawn is, if the match had stayed in the Cell, it wouldn’t be as lauded as it is. Shawn gets tossed into a cameraman and beats him up for no apparent reason other than to be a prick. However, this forces the cage door to be opened so that cameraman can be rescued, and Shawn bolts out of the cage and Taker follows suit. He bloodies him with a catapult into the cage and a pair of battering rams, but Shawn goes low and climbs the cage. Of course, Taker follows, and then the highlight comes as the Phenom stomps on Shawn’s fingers, forcing him to fall from the cage and through the Spanish announce table. Back inside, Taker hits a chokeslam from the top rope and one of the most vicious chair shots you will ever see. But before Taker can finish him off, Kane debuts, rips the door off of the cell, and Tombstones Taker, which allows Shawn to get a very cheap pin.

The only thing I really have to say about this match is “Are you NOT entertained?” Shawn was able to have a great match with virtually no offense at this point. All the Undertaker had to do was show up with his work boots and the match delivered in spades. The no-selling of the Superkick, the one-sidedness, and the run-in should get on my nerves, but it all works in the context of the story of the match. There was no way Shawn could match physically with the Undertaker, so Kane had to show up and save him. Kane also makes a big impact in his first appearance. Taker got the moral victory by putting Shawn through the most brutal beating of his career, but Shawn got the real victory that would lead to his title match with Bret Hart at Survivor Series, a match where nothing significant happened. Nothing at all.

Match Quality: ****3/4
Personal Enjoyment: *****
Match Rating: *****

Naturally, the next feud we spotlight is the Kane feud. I have mixed feelings about this one. On one hand, it’s brilliant storytelling and was genuinely emotional. On the other hand, we also got Kane and Undertaker using magical powers. Every once in a while, that stuff is awesome (see: Wrestlemania XX, the build-up). But some times it’s just wrestle crap. You can make up your own mind on what this is.

The Undertaker vs. Kane
Wrestlemania XIV, March 29. 1998
This is notable for having one of the best Undertaker entrances of all time. The match itself is pretty decent. This is almost the reverse of Taker’s matches with Shawn, as now he is undersized and underpowered. But he has speed, agility, ring savvy, and superior technical skill. Guess who wins out? Kane really dominates the whole thing, and considering the results, it’s important that Taker gives him so much. As far as storytelling, you have Undertaker trying a rope-a-dope on Kane, and considering his pain threshold and Kane’s questionable conditioning, that’s a smart strategy. Kane brought his working boots, so this is much more entertaining than it would be on paper. There’s a really awkward electric chair drop, but you have to give them credit for trying. The next awkward spot comes when Kane pulls Taker out of a cover after a Chokeslam, and then applies a chinlock.

The spot of the match takes place when Kane dodges the big tope and Taker goes crashing through the table. Back inside, Taker kicks out a Tombstone Piledriver from Kane, makes his comeback but Kane kicks out of two Tombstones. Taker is finally able to put Kane away with a diving clothesline and a third Tombstone. Kane kicks out of that at three and a fourth, so he still looks strong in defeat. Kane gets the final word by hitting a Tombstone on a steel chair. The match is an odd one in Taker’s long history. He literally never has control of the match. Even at the end where he hits six big moves out of a row, he doesn’t look dominant. This was a match to show that Kane was on Taker’s level, and it did that very well.

Match Quality: **3/4
Personal Enjoyment: ***3/4
Match Rating: ***1/4

Of course, that would not be the feud ender. They would have a rematch a month later at the conveniently named “In Your House: Unforgiven” and this time, the ring would be surrounded by fire.

Inferno Match: The Undertaker vs. Kane
In Your House: Unforgiven, April 26, 1998
This match, like many matches, has mixed opinions on it. A lot of people will say its “a typical big man match”, to which I always counter with, “Why is the Wrestlemania match considered good then?” This match is better, as Kane doesn’t dominate it like at ‘Mania. The stipulation also works well for them, and they work it very smartly. There’s a sense of urgency in the match that most matches just don’t have. I’ve also always interpreted the fire to be a reflection of Kane’s emotions. They go up when he is in pain, or excited, or afraid. As far as an abstract metaphor, I love how the flames react. A move like Old School suddenly becomes a major high risk move as opposed to just a really cool spot, because if he slipped, it would have been REALLY bad.

On that note, you have to respect them for working in these stipulations. Kane in particular must be dying from the heat, not to mention the possibility of severe burns. I can’t deny the visual awesomeness of the flames going up on all of the big moves. The most impressive are the Chokeslams and a superplex, and for a while there Kane’s feet are perilously close to the fire. Vader makes a run-in when Kane gets thrown over the top, and Taker proves that he’s crazy by doing the big dive over the fire. The Deadman uses a chair to subdue Kane long enough for him to get some revenge on Bearer by pummeling him with Sawyer Brown’s instruments, thus making Paul Bearer the only person to bleed from a drum. How WWE got Sawyer Brown to play at a live show, I will never know. Taker hits a big boot and Kane catches fire on his heavily covered arm. I’m in the minority that loves this match, and I encourage anyone to take a second look.

Match Quality: ***1/4
Personal Enjoyment: ***3/4
Match Rating: ***1/2

The disc keeps moving along at a brisk pace, as we get little hype over the next match other than “it’s still talked about to this day”.

Hell in a Cell: The Undertaker vs. Mankind
King of the Ring, June 28, 1998
Okay, we all know about this match. It starts on the roof and about a minute in, Taker spontaneously throws Mankind off the cell and through the Spanish Announce Table in the most insane spot in professional wrestling history. “With God as my witness, he is broken in half!” says Jim Ross, making the single most memorable call in wrestling history. Mankind takes several minutes to recover, climbs back up, and takes a chokeslam through the Cell and to the mat with a sickening thud. No bounce, just “THUD”. On the way down, a chair knocks him out and a tooth goes into his nose. Taker picks him up and hits a punch and Mankind just crumbles. After they recover, they have a basic brawl with Mankind hitting a piledriver onto a chair and a double arm DDT, but he can’t put it away. Things take a turn for the worse when he introduces thumbtacks into the mix. The first tack bump comes when Taker falls backward to counter the Mandible Claw and the second comes with a Chokeslam. The Tombstone Piledriver finishes one of the most memorable, and THE most violent, match in wrestling history. One of the big fears about this match was that people would eventually try to top it, but it seems only Mick Foley is crazy enough to think about doing it, and after he did it, nobody else even wants to go there. This is one of the very few “must see” matches in wrestling. It doesn’t have the best workrate, but it’s a masterpiece that set the bar perhaps higher than it should have ever gone. Actually, I’m just going to call it as it is. They took this farther than they should have. I think everybody involved realized that and that’s why it hasn’t been done. I’m thankful that I didn’t see this live and knew that Foley survived those two bumps going into it. Being eight years old, I may very well have cried from watching this. If this doesn’t make you respect Mick Foley, you have standards that are way too high.

Match Quality: ***
Personal Enjoyment: *****
Match Rating: ****

We finally get a bit of history as Taker would form a partnership with Kane to fight Vince McMahon. Then he would form the cult-like Ministry that probably pissed off even more parents that DX did. Honestly, as long as they are portrayed as “the bad guys”, you’d think religious people wouldn’t have a problem, but oh well. We also hear about the Corporate Ministry and Taker’s third title win, which happened on the same night as Owen Hart’s tragic death and thus is not easy to find. Taker’s only PPV defense would be against one of the most entertaining men in wrestling history. “Undertaker, do you think impress the Rock by taking your eyes and rolling them into the back of your head?”

WWE Championship Match: The Undertaker © w/ Paul Bearer vs. The Rock
King of the Ring, June 27, 1999
The Rock has had several good matches in his day. Undertaker has been one of the most consistent performers of the last twenty years. But for some reason, they never really had chemistry with each other, and this is a prime example. The first thing that happens is a ref bump and another follows shortly thereafter. Aside from an early Rock Bottom and Chokeslam that get nearfalls because of the ref bumps, the match fails to be interesting. It’s just a typical 1999 brawl where the count out rule is completely neglected, which is just a pet peeve of mine. How hard is it to make it “No DQ, No Count-Out”? This is actually more entertaining than I remember for the first several minutes. Rocky busts out the water spit, but then we go back to crowd brawling.

We also get Undertaker blocking a chair shot with a ring bell shot. WHAT DQ? Taker takes control, and for every decent move like the DDT and big boot, he gives us a long chinlock to go with it. The ref takes another bump and Rock hits the People’s Elbow but gets nothing. Bearer brings in an ether-soaked rag. Kill me. And now Triple H runs down and hits a Pedigree on the Rock. They do a double count out and Taker falls over on Rock for a nearfall, and then anticlimactically finishes with the Tombstone.

This was very boring. Other than punches, Rock hit three wrestling moves and the People’s Elbow. Taker dominated the match, but heel Taker is much less interesting than face Taker. You have crowd brawling, ether, needless interference, lack of wrestling, ref bumps, blatant rest holds, and a terrible finish. I hate this match. I once joked that the only reason they put the Yokozuna match on the set was so that Rocky wouldn’t be in the worst match.

Match Quality: *3/4
Personal Enjoyment: 1/4*
Match Rating: *

Extras:

Undertaker interview about Shawn Michaels: Undertaker comes out and cuts a short and sweet promo on HBK, but then Paul Bearer shows up and tells us that “Kane…is…COMING!” Paul Bearer is really, REALLY ugly.

Undertaker talking to his parent’s tombstones: This is Undertaker’s best promo. Forget the Biker gimmick, this is Taker at his most human. I mean, he says “I love you” for crying out loud! How often do you hear that?

Undertaker interview-Kane burns his parent’s tombstones: Taker gives a solid promo here, and kind of sums up his whole “conscience of the WWE” role. Kane then comes in and takes a sledgehammer to Taker’s parent’s tombstones and sets them on fire. In Kayfabe terms, I don’t think Kane has done anything more heinous than that. See this is the kind of thing that makes me glad WWE is PG. That was really just in bad taste.

Undertaker breaks into Paul Bearer’s house and mauls him: I’m not really sure why this is here, but it’s always fun seeing Bearer get beat up.

Unfortunately, there is no extra match. Half of the extras are dissapointing, one is insulting, and one is the best promo of Undertaker’s career. So I guess it kind of balances out.

The 411: With the exception of the last match, everything one here is really strong. You have his Hell in a Cell matches with Shawn Michaels and Mankind that are the stuff of legend, and a couple of really strong matches with Kane. The extras are a bit lacking, but this is probably the best disc of the set. For anyone wondering, the rating is for the whole set, not the individual disc. Onto the final disc.

Final Score:  7.5   [ Good ]