wrestling / Video Reviews
WWF Prime Time Wrestling (3.13.1989) Review
Loading...-The Network gives this a TV-14 rating. Somebody must say “butt.”
-Originally aired March 13, 1989.
-Your hosts are Gorilla Monsoon & Bobby Heenan. Ingenious shots by the director. Gorilla and Bobby both have Wrestlemania V posters hanging up behind them. The way the shots are framed, Hulk Hogan is always visible over Gorilla’s shoulder. Savage is over Heenan’s shoulder.
BLUE BLAZER vs. BARRY HOROWITZ
-Hey, they’ve shown this one before! From the Meadowlands. Blazer is still wearing the fugly mask from his Los Angeles debut, but he’s wearing the standard Blue Blazer outfit now. Blazer springboards himself and hiptosses Horowitz into position for an armbar. Hammerlock slams by Blazer. He hits the ropes, and Barry, with his legs still in good shape, meets him with a hard kick that gets a respectful “Ooooh” from the fans. Barry actually yells “Now we go to school!” and a legdrop gets two. Double underhook gets two. Neck vice by Horowitz, but Blazer elbows free. Horowitz goes back to the kick, since it worked before. Bodypress out of nowhere by Blazer gets two, and I’m glad that wasn’t the finish because there’s a fight breaking out on the stands and nobody is watching the ring.
-Slam by the Blazer, but Horowitz raises his knees and blocks a splash. Blazer finally gets a second wind and makes his comeback with a belly-to-belly off the ropes, and a top rope splash gets three. I liked this better than the LA match.
-Bobby announces that Blazer must unmask if he loses at Wrestlemania V. That’s not really a stipulation, but Bobby says it would be more fun that way.
BRAIN BUSTERS (with Bobby Heenan) vs. TERRY DANIELS & BERT CENTENO
-From Superstars of Wrestling. Daniels got a small push five years ago as a protege of Sgt. Slaughter, but then Slaughter quit and that was it for him.
-Tully backs down from Daniels before slapping him and suckering him out to the floor. Arn sneaks in with a forearm to the back of the head and takes over. Daniels fights him off and dives for a tag. Arn gets a knee to the back of the head. Nice dropkick by Tully. He struts over and suckers Daniels into arguing with the referee, and the Busters hit the spike piledriver to finish.
SPECIAL REPORT
-Whose corner will Elizabeth be in at Wrestlemania V? We will find out this weekend. Which is now this past weekend at the time this is airing. So we know. But here are Rockin’ Robin and Sensational Sherri debating it.
TWIN TOWERS (with Slick) vs. GARY WOLFE & TONY DURANTE
-From Wrestling Challenge in Hershey, PA. Running powerslam by Boss Man, splash by Akeem. Man, Durante and Wolfe are never going to get over with Pennsylvania fans after getting their asses kicked like this. Even Slick gives them a slap for fun.
-Boss Man legdrop, and Akeem does the Boss Man leg drop too as a show of solidarity. Boss Man slam into position, and another splash by Akeem ends it. Man, Wolfe and Durante got beaten like…like some kind of dogs in there.
-Gorilla is driving me up a wall by once again asking Heenan about “putting his John Henry on the contract.”
EVENT CENTER
-The early bird gets the worm, and the Red Rooster warns that roosters are the earliest birds of all. That’s what she said. The Powers of Pain and Mr. Fuji will make Demolition scream.
BRET “Hit Man” HART vs. DANGEROUS DANNY DAVIS
-From MSG. If Davis had been anything more in the ring than he proved to be, this had a good enough background story that it would have been a decent feud. But nah, he’s just cannon fodder for Bret tonight.
-Danny wants a test of strength and Bret takes him to the mat and hammers him. Bret keeps him on the mat with an armbar. Danny retreats to the floor and stalls for a spell before going back in and taking headbutts and elbows from Hart. Danny rakes the eyes and stomps the Hit Man. He uses a piece of rope to choke Bret out under the guise of a sleeper, and Bret logically should be dead six times by the time he breaks out of the hold. Hart throws punches and gives Davis a backbreaker for two. Piledriver finishes things. Davis was just SO bad, do the point that he dragged Bret down to his own level and it looked like two guys on their second day of training.
BROTHER LOVE
-Hacksaw Jim Duggan may be a baaaaaad man according to Brother Love, but he’s facing an even badder man at Wrestlemania V, a man so bad they call him Bad News. Duggan says ho.
WRESTLEMANIA V REPORT
-Hulk Hogan has another argument to present with footage from The Main Event. Observation that a friend of mine made about The Main Event and now I can’t unsee it: “That is the back of a malnourished woman.” You can see her spine.
-Mean Gene reads another telegram from Rowdy Roddy Piper, with a rebuttal from Morton Downey, Jr. and Brother Love. Piper’s telegram warns Brother Love not to say “I love you,” and of course Brother Love is all too eager.
FABULOUS ROUGEAU BROTHERS (with Jimmy Hart) vs. DAVID STOUDIMIERE & GEORGE EVANS
-From Wrestling Challenge. Evans is a big fireplug-built guy, and Raymond feigns a shoulder injury from a shoulderblock before bring Jacques in for a double-team. Rougeaus vow to teach the Bushwhackers to pronounce their names correctly after Wrestlemania.
-Stoudimiere tags in and crashes on an attempted bodypress. Double dropkick connects fabulously, and Le Bombe De Rougeau finishes.
SPECIAL INTERVIEW
-The Mean One welcomes Andre the Giant and Bobby Heenan. Andre continues to freak out at the sound of the word “snake” while continuing to insist he’s not afraid of anything. He also declares that he’s still undefeated and that won’t change after Wrestlemania.
-Gorilla Monsoon introduces surprise special guest Hercules, and Heenan takes off for the rest of the night.
ROCKERS vs. CONQUISTADORS
-From MSG. Janetty starts with #1 and actually manages to get caught in the wrong corner. They take turns putting Janetty in a torture rack and switching behind the referee’s back. Shawn gets fed up with the shenanigans and clears the ring with dropkicks. #2 heads back in and gets his arm wrung by Janetty, but Janetty again gets caught in the corner and worked over and again Michaels has to rescue his partner from the jobbers. Man, in storyline context, this match explains so much.
-Shawn tags in and wrings the arm himself. He whips #2 into the corner and monkeyflips him as he was for a commercial. We return with Shawn sunset flipping #2, only to have #1 break the pin. #1 tags in and now Shawn is caught in the corner and trying the unique defensive strategy of slobbering all over the Conquistadors. They’re just too much for him. Janetty vehemently protests as the Conquistadors switch off without tagging and double-team Shawn relentlessly.
-And that’s pretty much the entire match for the next five minutes as the Conquistadors not only cut the ring in half but shove the other half of the ring away on an ice floe. Nerve hold by the Conquistadors, so Samoa is now part of Latin America. Shawn makes the hot tag, Janetty cleans house, pier sixer, and Shawn hits a splash from on top of Marty’s shoulders for three. Man, they phoned this in.
