WWF Wrestling Challenge (1.11.1987) Review

-Originally aired January 11, 1987. This review originally written in 2009.

-We’re in Tucson, AZ, the city with one silent letter in its name, but nobody is sure which one it is.

-Your hosts are Gorilla Monsoon & Bobby Heenan.

RANDY “Macho Man” SAVAGE (Intercontinental Champion, with Elizabeth) vs. STEVE GATORWOLF
-Gorilla will not let the planet continue spinning without making one more stab at getting “Not-So Macho Man” over as a taunt.

-Arm wringers are traded, but Savage fights Gatorwolf off with a knee and chokes him over the top rope. Front facelock by Savage into a snapmare, and he sends Gatorwolf into the turnbuckles as the crowd offers a half-hearted “Steamboat” chant. Gatorwolf fights back with chops and a war dance, but Savage stops him in his tracks and sends him over the top rope. Savage comes off the rope and onto the floor with a double axehandle (and nearly falls off). Back in the ring, Savage finishes off the poor man’s Chief Jay Strongbow with the elbow drop. It later came out that he was also the sexually deviant man’s Chief Jay Strongbow too.

WRESTLER’S REBUTTAL
-George Steele eats a page from the current issue of WWF Magazine.

-Let’s go to Australia, where Outback Jack is getting his face painted for a tribal ceremony.

TITO SANTANA vs. JIMMY JACK FUNK
-Funk gets an amateur takedown to start, but Tito faceplants him. They lock up but that doesn’t go anywhere. They try again and it still doesn’t go anywhere. Funk just gives up and rams Tito into the turnbuckle. Tito reverses an Irish whip and clotheslines Funk over the top rope. Funk re-enters and tries an arm wringer, but Tito reverses that. Funk drops Tito throat-first onto the top rope. Belly-to-belly suplex by Funk and a forearm from the second rope get two. Tito tries a backdrop, but Funk counters to a backslide. Tito reverses it for two and starts throwing punches. He gets the backdrop he wanted and slams Funk down. Tito faceplants him again and “rings the bell” (looking like you’re going for a piledriver, but then just thrusting your legs down to snap your opponent’s head & neck). Flying forearm gives Tito the win.

-Ken Resnick talks to Slick & Butch Reed. They’re going to get down and whatnot.

KAMALA (with Wizard & Kimchee) vs. JESSE CORTEZ
-Jack Tunney appears to make a ruling about the legality of Kamala’s top rope splash, but Bobby Heenan suddenly interrupts, throwing a fit about all of the inquiries being made about the Andre the Giant reinstatement hearing.

-Gorilla asks Heenan what that was all about, and Heenan deflects and talks about Kamala’s weight. Gorilla snaps back “I don’t care about how much Kamala weighs!” And there it is, the biggest lie Gorilla has ever told.

-Kamala disposes of Cortez rather easily with chops & chokes. Air Uganda finishes. But in happier news, if you sign up for the WWF Fan Club today, they’ll mail you your own membership card! Ah, happier times, when they only took time away from calling a match to plug ONE extraneous piece of shit, as opposed to 2009 commentary. “Matt Hardy with a clothesline, pay-per-view, mobile, website, DVD, magazine!”

-Koko B. Ware shows Ken Resnick how to kiss Frankie.

KING HARLEY RACE (with Bobby Heenan) vs. JERRY MONTI
-Bobby tells the fans to stand up and kneel, which will make your head hurt if you think about it long enough. Johnny V takes over commentary for the time being, and Junkyard Dog suddenly jumps in, promising to dethrone The King.

-Side headlock by Monti, but Race gets out of that with no trouble. Gorilla explains that the crown is on the line for every match, and Johnny V plays with fire a little bit, saying that if Race loses this match, we would have “The King, Jerry…Monti.” Neckbreaker and a pair of knee drops by Race. Powerslam almost finishes, but Race decides he’s not done yet and clotheslines Monti. Headbutts by Race for two, but he finally decides he’s done playing around, and the cradle suplex gives the King the win.

THE SNAKE PIT
-Jake walks out immediately and declares that since it’s his segment, he can make the fans wait for him as long as he wants. I’m guessing there was a snafu edited out here. Anyway, because one promo a week isn’t enough, here’s Butch Reed again to tell us how natural he is. Butch Reed wants Hulk Hogan! Okay, nobody ever mentions this, but this is another reason Hogan stayed on top forever. Every single heel made it a point to say they wanted a piece of him. I mean, it was like a default setting for heels cutting promos. If you had absolutely no feud to speak of at the moment, you threatened Hogan. And that just added to the fans’ perception that Hulk was the guy.

UPDATE
-Gene Okerlund recaps the Savage/Steamboat saga. We see the throat injury, followed by Dr. Bob’s assessment of injuries. Ricky Steamboat cuts a promo from his house, where he emotionally struggles to finish a single sentence, but chokes and coughs.

-Blackjack Mulligan shows us his honey wagon, a fertilizing machine. He vows to throw King Kong Bundy in the machine and fertilize half of Texas with him.

KILLER BEES vs. MAGNIFICENT MURACO & COWBOY BOB ORTON (with Mr. Fuji)
-Orton & Blair start. Shoulderblock by Orton, but Blair hiptosses him. Muraco tags in as we begin talking about the Fan Club again. A full-sized poster and “a special kit containing a whole lot of things” will be ours. Wow, THINGS!

-Blair whiffs on a dropkick and rolls up Muraco for two. Brunzell tags in and they double-team Muraco to the contempt of referee Danny Davis. Bees work the arm, but Blair gets slammed down and Orton returns to capitalize. Series of punches, but he misses a dropkick in the corner and gets hammered by Blair. High knee by Brunzell and Blair comes in with an abdominal stretch. Muraco breaks it, but Davis doesn’t give a rat’s ass, so it’s all good.

-Muraco goes ahead and stays in there without making a tag, but since Davis knows that he meant to, it’s okay. He gets a two-count and Orton comes in without a tag. Slingshot suplex by Orton, but Blair starts to fight back, only to get his eyes raked. Heels switch off and Muraco drives Blair into the mat from the top rope. Double-teaming behind Davis’ back, but when they make a tag, Davis is conveniently distracted, and both Bees end up getting tossed to the floor. As usual, that’s the best thing that could happen to them. They emerge with the masks. One of the Bees comes in and rolls up Muraco right away, without even doing the usual switching off, but Danny Davis calls for the bell and gives the match to Muraco & Orton, due to “illegal masks.”

-JYD talks about all the good things he has going on with his life, including his baby girl, his beautiful new wife, and the hammer that came down on his ex-wife. What the hell kind of face promo is THAT? Blackjack Mulligan comes in to talk about the good things going on in his life, including his wife’s recent weight gain.

7.0

The final score: review Good

The 411

Good batch of competitive squashes this week, plus a fun feature match.