WWWF All-Star Wrestling (3.25.1978) Review

-The Network jumps ahead one month now, and presumably due to tape damage, this is only a 30-minute show…

-Originally aired March 25, 1978.

-Your host is Vince McMahon.

LARRY ZBYSZKO vs. THE GOLDEN TERROR
-Terror is a masked Pete Dougherty; his whole look is nearly identical to the Conquistadors, and his ring intro is actually really similar. Instead of hailing from “somewhere in Latin America,” he hails from “The Amazon region of South America.” So they’re hitting that same note of “Hailing from Parts Generally Known.”

-Larry flings the Terror around and locks on a toehold. Larry keeps up the mat exhibition. Terror comes to life with a series of armdrag takedowns, but Larry keeps countering the attempted wristlock with headscissors. Larry turns it into a few two-counts, with Vince helpfully pointing out that this never finishes a match. When I decided to start reviewing this show I didn’t expect the sheer amount of “Vince shitting on it in a way that he’d fire other guys for” that it comes with.

-Larry hits his own armdrags and the Terror goes to the floor to shake it off. Back in, Terror goes to a side headlock. Larry gets free and goes back to the armdrags. Terror gets aggressive and starts hammering Larry in the corner and comes off the second rope, crashing into Larry’s stomach with a claw, which is kind of a neat way of applying that hold…and the referee CALLS FOR THE BELL?! Aha, surprise ending here, as Larry draped a leg over the rope while he was caught in the hold, Terror didn’t notice, and kept the hold applied as the referee was trying to tell him to break. Well, good, we’ve protected the Golden Terror. Actually, all kidding aside, this was a pretty decent match, as they moved from hold to hold fluidly and quickly, and it never dragged.

YUKON LUMBERJACKS (with Captain Lou Albano) vs. FRANK WILLIAMS & SAUL FREEMAN
-Okay, so for the past few months on this show, the WWWF’s visual shorthand for “babyface” has been allowing kids to come right up to the apron with autograph books, and the babyface signs autographs during the ring introductions. It’s such a common sight on this show that I don’t think I’ve really mentioned it. But now I am, because this segment opens with the hilarious visual of the kids swarming ringside to get autographs from the referee, while the jobbers just meekly stand behind him, being ignored. Lumberjacks are Pierre and Eric, although you might know “Eric” better as Scott Irwin.

-Lumberjacks hammer away at Freeman. Irwin drives knees into the ribs while Albano blows his whistle approvingly. HOT TAG FRANK WILLIAMS and Williams unloads with a flurry of right forearms, which are all no-sold and then Pierre just beats the crap out of him. Eric and Pierre just dismantle Williams and refuse to him him for a while. Eric shoves Williams into the corner and demands a tag, and Freeman gets mauled. Williams comes back in for more, because they have five matches and one full hour of TV time, and my roommate walks in from two doors away to ask about all the annoying damn whistling he’s hearing. And a knee FINALLY ends it.

-Vince McMahon interviews Baron Mikel Scicluna & Butcher Vachon, who announce that they’re forming a tag team. Butcher Vachon complains about the show giving mic time to Bob Backlund, and honestly, I can’t disagree with anybody who has an anti-Bob Backlund agenda. Butcher Vachon brags that his little girl is training to become a wrestler, which is a neat moment for a 1978 show.

HANDICAP MATCH: LUKE GRAHAM (with The Grand Wizard) vs. STEVE KING & JOSE MADERA
-Graham hammers away as Vince speculates that Luke and his brother Billy are going to become a tag team, as this company has an almost-Crockett-like interest in making sure that everybody is part of a tag team. Graham piles up his opponents and pins them both for a quick win.

3.3

The final score: review Bad

The 411

Opener was fine and then it was downhill from there.