411’s FCW TV Report 11.22.08

The views and opinions expressed herein are those solely of the author and may not necessarily reflect those of the rest of the human race.

Hey there and thanks again for stopping by. In case you’d noticed, I wasn’t here last week. Not because I didn’t feel like doing the report or just took a non-descript week off or anything like that – but because I had thought my DVR took a dump and didn’t record the show. Turns out the show didn’t air last week because of technical issues. The replay aired Thursday, though I have yet to see that; guess I’ll find out what happened right along with you guys as I watch this one…

FCW – 11.22.08

Old-school clips and opening bring us to the FCW Arena where TONIGHT: a 24-man Battle Royale to crown a new #1 Contender for the FCW Title. So much for the whole “strategy-style” recap? We’ll see.

The Saxton Conglomerate (Tyson Tarver, Lawrence Knight & Black Pain (w/Byron Saxton vs. Johnny Prime, Kafu & Kizarny

Rhodes gives us a little insight into the mind of Brian Kelly Byron Saxton. Seems Saxton is pulling a Larry Sweeney and going for a “hostile takeover” of FCW. Not bad as far as angles go, I guess. Even if it is a little…recycled.

The feud that started in earnest two weeks ago continues here. Kafu and Tarver start (which, given the right time and atmosphere, would be a hell of a 1-on-1 fight, I think)—woops, Tarver tags out and brings in Knight instead. Maybe they’re teasing a Tarver/Kafu showdown later on? Kafu surprises Knight with some actual wrestling, taking the kid down and almost working in a submission before tagging in Prime (The Other White Kid). Prime keeps up the work on the targeted arm of Knight before Kizarny comes in to do more of the same, only in a more unorthodox fashion. Kizarny then works in a…surfboard stinkface, for lack of a better description, before switching up to a more impact-based offense and going after Saxton for good measure. Kizarny then makes the mistake of getting overzealous by going after the other members of the opposing team, leaving Knight the perfect opening to turn this around with a Yakuza kick.

“New Danger” Tyson Tarver (love that nickname) goes to work on Kizarny, bringing a ground-and-pound attack that John Cena should take notes on. Tarver and Kizarny get into a headbutt battle (ow) and Tarver comes out on top. Tarver hopes that’s enough to put him away as he goes for the cover and gets 2. Tarver brings in the massive Black Pain (still looking like a black-and-maroon version of Chemo) who employs the size advantage to wear Kizarny down. The Conglomerate have found their patsy in Kizarny and have opted to alternate between beating him senseless and wearing him down to win this match for their team.

(Waitaminute, Josh Matthews just mentioned that TJ Wilson and DH Smith won the FCW Tag Titles in a 2-out-of-3 falls match last week – and I missed that?! Dammit! Thanks again, Bright House Sports Net…)

Kizarny escapes a bear hug and brings in Prime, who goes for the stick-and-move against Pain. The other Conglomerate members interfere, bringing in the face team and it’s broken down in Tampa! Prime brilliantly takes advantage of the confusion and goes after the other legal man…

Finish comes when Prime hits a top-rope cross-body on Pain and stuns him for the pinfall victory. The match itself was nothing to write home about, but the potential showdowns and hints of things to come brought it up a little. Not a bad outing overall.

Post-match, Black Pain looks to take on all 3 of the opposing team and Saxton calls him off. Hosts Dusty Rhodes and Josh Matthews hype the Battle Royale as we go to commercial.

Back to

Drew McIntyre vs. Johnny Curtis – No DQ Match

Apparently, McIntyre and Curtis went at it last week before McIntyre got himself DQ’ed, prompting this week’s stipulation.

Not to be lazy or anything, but Dusty Rhodes breaks this one down well for me: “I think this is gonna be a fight. I don’t know how much wrestling we’re gonna see…[Curtis] would rather be in a wrestling match – he’s gonna try and beat him, wear him down with the understanding that he can do a lot of stuff, but what he’s gonna do is what he’s doing now” – which is taking the fight to McIntyre on the outside while mixing in a bit of the aerial attack to keep him off-guard. It works well for Curtis until McIntyre sends him up face first into the ringpost with his injured leg crashing down on the apron.

McIntyre takes over not by working on the leg, but by beating down Curtis. Yeah, that makes sense. I mean, homeboy can effectively do whatever he wants, so why not do the usual brawling instead of working that leg over real good? Sigh. McIntyre takes the clubberin’ outside where he can do more damage, including using the ring steps. Curtis blocks a shot by those and goes on instinct, hip-tossing McIntyre on to the steps. Ouch.

Back in the ring, Curtis sticks to his wrestling-based offense before McIntyrte boots his way back in control. McIntyre goes for a chair, which will cost him as Curtis sticks to his game…

Finish comes when Curtis drops McIntyre and rolls him up for the pinfall victory. Not a great one here, to say the least. I dug McIntyre when I first saw him because he has a great look, but it seems all the kid can do is brawl. And that’s not even done smartly in the context of any given match I’ve seen him in. I really hope he improves soon, because he could be a true star in the making…provided he can wrestle worth a damn.

Post-match, McIntyre takes offense to the loss and hits a Flatliner on Curtis on the chair as we go to commercial.

Back to clips of last week’s FCW Tag Title win by the Stampede Bulldogs. (Hell, Rhodes and Matthews won’t officially call them that, so I will.) Seems there was a ref bump and a little chicanery in the third and deciding fall and Natalya took the opportunity to distract Slater so Wilson could score the belts.

The Bulldogs (with Natalya) come to the ring for some mic time. Natalya says they have gold because, “if you can survive the Dungeon, you can survive anything.” Good point, that. She says it was only a question of when and it’s now their time. Smith agrees, saying “it’s our time now” (gimmick infringement!) and drops a Bret Hart line before calling them the best tag team in the world. If only the Briscoe Brothers would hit the ring right now…anyway, Wilson says it’s funny how much can change in a week. (Way to rub it in my face, jerk.) Wilson says that Hennig and Slater can have a match when they earn it.

Carson Oakley and Scotty Goldman (~!) are out now and Oakley congratulates them on working together for about 40 or 50 years before winning the Titles. Heh. Oakley takes exception to how they won the titles and Goldman stops him from cussing and takes the mic. Goldman says that with new champions come new challengers. See, he and Oakley have formed a friendship – not a weird, awkward relationship like the Champs and Natalya have (hah!), but a good partnership. Goldman challenges the Champs to a match next week for the Titles. Natalya likes their drive and determination and accepts the match for next week. PLEASE don’t let Bright House screw up again next week…

Commercial.

Back to Matthews and Rhodes hyping the Tag Title Match for next week as well as the winner of the Battle Royale meeting Seamus O’Shaunessey for the FCW Title.

Trent Beretta vs. Eric Escobar

Rhodes calls Escobar “Latino Heat”. Shoot me. Please.

Escobar gets the better of the opening exchange and Beretta bails to regroup. Escobar is favoring his right arm for the offense, as his left is heavily taped. Beretta takes advantage of an ill-timed charge to take it to the sky before working over the left arm of Escobar. Drew McIntyre, pay attention. Beretta holds the short-arm scissors to try and pop that arm out of socket but Escobar uses raw power to escape. Escobar then goes for the impact offense to knock the wind out of Beretta but Beretta escapes another charge and Escobar‘s arm takes the damage. Beretta takes to the sky, but now Escobar is ready for it…

Finish comes when Escobar dodges a tornado DDT and hits the Latin Temper for the pinfall victory. Not a bad match, all said and done. Beretta still reminds me of a younger Steve Corino, and Escobar still looks like a low-rent Eddie Guerrero (though he looks to be improving).

Post-match, Escobar dedicates the victory to a couple childhood friends in attendance – WE Tag-Team Champions Carlito and Primo Colon. Nice. Escobar pumps himself up for the Battle Royale and says he’ll be the next #1 Contender as we go to commercial.

Back to Sheamus O’Shaunessey out to witness the Battle Royale. The combatants make their way to the ring as we go to commercial.

Back to Sheamus O’Shaunessey video package and our main event:

Battle Royale to determine the #1 Contender for the FCW Title

Strategy? Easy – dump as many dudes as you can outside until you’re the last one left. Matthews cites Black Pain as the favorite due simply to size. Fair enough.

Slater and Hennig work separately so’s not to dissolve their partnership. That’s about the only thing I can make sense of early on, as the action is fast and furious. Matthews says this looks like “The American Dream’s house on a Saturday night” (heh) before Johnny Prime is the first one eliminated. Maybe that’s the best way to do this; yes, I’ve recapped Battle Royales before, but they’re always a pain in the rear.

The eliminations start coming fast and furious, as about seven guys are dumped in the span of a couple minutes. A couple more go before Sebastian Slater pulls the idiotic move of hopping over the top rope on to the apron – allowing his intended victim to dropkick his legs out from under him, sending him out to the floor for elimination. Moron. Goldman also suffers a dumb elimination when he charges a guy who back-bodydrops him over the top. Several guys team up and toss Black Pain over. First smart move I’ve seen so far.

Finally, we work our way down to four: Chris Logan, Gavin Spears, Eric Escobar, and Joe Hennig. Logan almost tosses Escobar, but Escobar skins the cat (bad arm and all) and head-scissors Logan out of the match. Not bad. Spears takes advantage and dropkicks Escobar out of contewntion. Okay, that’s the smartest thing I’ve seen this whole match.

Down to Spears and Hennig now and Spears works him over to try and get him out. Spears doesn’t let up in his offense – until he gets a little cocky and catches the attention of O’Shaunessey. Hennig takes the time to recover and mount some offense of his own.

Finish comes when Spears knocks Hennig outside, but Hennig hangs on and back-bodydrops Spears up-and-over from the outside (!) for the victory. Joe Hennig is your #1 Contender for the FCW Title – and O’Shaunessey shows his sportsmanlike appreciation by beating the absolute snot out of Hennig. O’Shaunessey celebrates his handiwork as the show ends.

Okay, I have to indulge a little fantasy booking for a second. I say we make this interesting – Slater should have come out for the save on his partner. Let Slater stand by Hennig the whole time – and turn against Hennig once Hennig loses his bid for the FCW Title, stating that Hennig put the Title over their partnership. It would shake things up and make it a little interesting.

Not that the show this week was all bad. Some nice hints of things (hopefully) to come in the opening six-man, and Beretta and (I can’t believe I’m typing this) Escobar put in a solid effort. Overall a decent show; we’ll see how next week shapes up with both the FCW Tag-Team and Heavyweight Titles on the line.

L8. Thanks again for reading.

For more interesting (?) reading, click here. Congrats on a run even I couldn’t manage, my friend. And you’ll notice there’s no irony or sarcasm in that statement whatsoever.