411’s TNA No Surrender Report 09.05.10

Welcome one and all to the No Surrender report! A last-minute change has taken London Brawling off the card and replaced them with Generation Me. The rest of the card is a mixed bag, but let’s give it a shot.

And now for this month’s guest hosts…

The TNA Booking Team The Goof Troop!

HAJIME!

We see the four semi-finalists arriving at the arena for the PPV. Then we get pre-recorded comments from them, with nothing new being said.

TNA Tag Team Title Match: The Motor City Machine Guns © (Chris Sabin and Alex Shelley) vs. Generation Me

Oh God. Pray for me, my fingers won’t be able to keep up here. I’m trying to figure out where I’ve seen those black studded leather jackets before. Cook’s basement I think.

And we’re off, Shelley and Jeremy to start. Shelley gets a hammerlock, reversed by Jeremy. Shelley into a top wristlock, they roll into a quick pin for two, exchange near falls and Max tags in. Front facelock by Shelley, tag to Sabin and he gets a shoulder block takedown. They exchange armlocks and both go for a dropkick. Jeremy and Shelley back in now, Shelley gets a headlock and a shoulder block. STIFF back elbow by Jeremy and a pair of arm drags puts Gen Me in control. Tag to Max who coms in with a corkscrew splash to the arm. Tag back to Jeremy who double stomps the arm from the top. Arm wringer by Jeremy and a jawbreaker. Blind tag to Sabin and there’s the double team toehold/deathlock/dropkick for 2. Elbow drop by Sabin gets 2 more. Tag to Shelley, he gets a spinebuster and locks in the billy goat’s purse! Max breaks the hold and Jeremy gets a boot to a charging Sabin then a crossbody to Shelley. Max tags in, takes out Shelley then MATRIX BACKFLIPS to avoid a clothesline! Awesome. Bulldog to Sabin from a wheelbarrow gets 2.8. He kicks Shelley off the apron then runs up top and hits a cutter for 2 more. SWEET. Tag to Jeremy, they set up for More Bang but Shelley gets the blind tag and saves his partner. Enziguiri by Sabin, Shelley with a kick off the top for 2. Shelley tries the Shiranui on Max, Max pushes him off but gets kicked in the back. Shelley tries to springboard in but Jeremy stops him and hits a neckbreaker on the apron. Max covers for 2. Jeremy in, Shelley blocks the suplex attempt but his neck hurts too much to get one of his own. Tag to Max, double hip toss and double basement dropkick get 2. Max with a snap mare and a chinlock, Shelley fights out but eats a dropkick. Jeremy tags in and gets 2. It’s MASTERLOCK TIME! Shelley breaks it, elbows free but gets kicked in the back by Max. Gen Me try a double team drop kick but miss and here comes Sabin! Kicks and dropkicks for all! Flying forearms! He is a house! En! FUEGO~! Springboard DDT! 1…2… Jeremy breaks it up and gets tossed to the floor. Sabin gets caught with a springboard dropkick knocking him to the floor, Jeremy is kicked off the apron, and Shelley flies out with a suicide dive! Sabin and Mac exchange shots in the ring, Sabin with a knee to the gut but Max blocks the tornado DDT and Gen Me works a double-team tornado inverted DDT. SWANK spin kick to the face of Shelley, followed by a dropkick. More Bang for your Buck coming…Sabin avoids both parts! SUPERKICK by Shelley to Jeremy! SUPERKICK to Shelley by Max! SUPERKICK by Sabin! The Guns get a double superkick to Max! Neckbreaker/frog splash combo!!!! 1…2…3!

Winners: Motor City Machine Guns via pinfall (Sabin on Jeremy, Skull n Bones)
Rating: ***3/4 Spotfest, but a decent one.

Generation Me attacks after the bell, and it’s a brutal one. They throw Sabin to the floor then drag Shelley under the bottom rope…ELEVATED DDT FROM APRON TO FLOOR!!! Gen Me retreat and laugh as EMTs tend to Shelley.

TNA X-Division Title Match: Douglas Williams © vs. Sabu

Sabu appears to be wearing a shower curtain. They exchange basic holds and Sabu ends up on top with a head scissors. Williams breaks the hold and goes for an ankle, but Sabu makes the ropes. Headlock takedown by Sabu. More exchanges and rope breaks. Williams takes control with a headbutt to the gut (that rhymes!) but gets decked with a clothesline. Somersault slingshot legdrop by Sabu, followed by the modified camel clutch. Williams makes the rope and goes to the floor, where he gets hit with a baseball slide and a tope con hilo to the floor. Sabu has a table, which will do him no good. Williams takes advantage of Sabu setting up the table and nails him from behind. Back inside, second-rope European gets two for Williams. Running knee in the corner and Williams goes up top…Sabu cuts him off! Sabu BOTCHES a top rope rana. He goes outside for a chair, which will also do him no good. Triple Jump Quebrada gets two for Sabu. I guess he can use the chair for that. Sabu runs and gets tripped up, hitting the chair face-first. Knee drop gets 2 for Williams. Whip by Williams, he charges and Sabu gets his foot up. Williams catches the foot and kicks Sabu in the…inner thigh. Williams takes control and hits another knee drop for 2 more. Sabu tees off with a slap and gets a boot to a charging Williams, then NAILS a springboard DDT. 2 count only. Springboard back elbow. You know a match uses too many springboards when my word processing program is auto completing it. Sabu sets up the chair and leaps off it into Williams in the corner. I think it was meant to be a kick. Sabu charges again but Williams kicks the chair into Sabu and gets a gutwremch suplex for two. How is kicking the chair into him not a DQ? Waistlock by Williams, Sabu breaks free and hits a clothesline. Williams goes to the floor, Sabu sets a chair and runs…jumps…botches, loses his balance and settles for a slingshot shoulder block to the outside. He puts Williams on the table but just bends him over it…this won’t end well. Sabu with the slingshot tope…Williams moves, Sabu goes through the table. I hear a whistle, where’s Fonzie? Williams goes to use the chair, Hebner takes it away and Williams WHACKS Sabu with the belt! CHEAP FINISH. 1…2…3.

Winner: Douglas Williams via pinfall (belt shot)
Rating: **¼ Too many botches, cheap finish but otherwise not bad. Standard Sabu match.

Christy Hemme is with Mr. Anderson, who doesn’t care if Pope likes him. He’s here to win. He gets the crowd to chant that they are assholes. Wow, some people will do anything.

Velvet Sky vs. Madison Rayne

Good Lord Madison and Tara are in leather. Ahem…DAT AZZ…squared! Been a while since I got to say that. I love you cameraman. Good grief.

Tara grabs Sky’s leg, Rayne attacks from behind and we’re underway. Rayne with a choke in the corner, Sky comes back with some chops but she gets leveled. Rayne mounts her and lays in some punches, then chokes her some more. Cravate applied, then Rayne just throws Sky down. Camel clutch now applied by Rayne, then she drops down on Sky’s back. She tries again but Sky turns and gets her knees up, then SLAPS the taste out of Rayne’s mouth. Last time I saw someone get slapped that hard was when Small tried to put a dollar bill in the stripper’s thong and then grab some ass. Tara distracts the ref while Sky has a schoolgirl, by the time he comes back in Rayne has kicked out. Clothesline levels Sky. SCISSOR STOMP by Rayne! 1…2…no. Whip is reversed, Rayne tries to go up and over but Sky catches her and drops her on her face. How she landed flat I will never know. Series of clotheslines by Sky and a back elbow, a whip is reversed but Rayne drops her head and eats a kick. Sky mounts and pounds away, then gets a bulldog. Cover and Tara yanks Sky outside. Tara goes to use the helmet on Sky but Angelina saves the day with a kick to the back of Tara! Back inside and Rayne goes for Sole Food…countered! Jumping DDT by Sky! 1…2…3!

Winner: Velvet Sky via pinfall (jumping DDT)
Rating: *3/4 Meh.

Hemme is with Jeff Hardy, who says he’s winning for RVD. Short backstage segments tonight.

Falls Count Anywhere Match: Rhino vs. Abyss

Rhino blitzes Abyss during his entrance and lays into him. He rolls him into the ring and tosses in some PLUNDAH. He wedges a trash can in the corner then hits a slingshot crossbody to the floor! They fight on the floor and end up in the parking garage as we play a game of walk, punch, walk, punch. Rhino throws Abyss into a chainlink fence a couple times, Abyss throws Rhino into a metal trash can. More walk-punch. Abyss slams Rhino’s head into a plastic table as they come back inside. There’s a dude in a wheelchair, use the wheelchair! Maybe not. Back into the ring they go, Rhino in control now. Whip reversed, Rhino blocks the hiptoss and clotheslines Abyss down. Shots in the corner but Abyss reverses a whip and sends Rhino into the trash can he set up. Back out of the ring they go, they walk up the side of the ramp and Rhino gets whipped into the railing for 2. Rhino blocks a whip, kicks Abyss in the gut and throws him through the particle board under the stage. There’s no room to stand up under there but the ref has gone in with them and…we can’t see shit. Rhino comes shooting out through an obviously-hinged part of the stage support and Abyss gets a 2 count. Abyss yanks a piece of railing free and brings it into the ring, then props it in the corner. This can’t end well. He whips Rhino into it but Rhino avoids the railing and hits a big flying clothesline. He nails Abyss in the head with a cookie sheet three times, then hits a shoulder charge in the corner and a belly to belly slam. He sets for the Gore…GOOZLE! Chokeslam into the trash can! 1…2…no! Abyss goes to fetch Janice but would rather intimidate the ref than kill Rhino. GORE! GORE! GORE! 1…2…2.9!!! Rhino is surprised but whips Abyss in and charges into a boot. BLACK HOLE SLAM! 1…2…NO! Abyss sets for a powerbomb into the railing in the corner! Rhino escapes and gets hit with a clothesline. A second Gore…Abyss moves! Rhino Gores the railing! BLACK HOLE SLAM! 1…2…3!

Winner: Abyss via pinfall (Black Hole Slam)
Rating: ** Too much walk-punch, not enough use of the stipulation and very tame for these two men.

Video package for Nash and Sting vs Joe and Jarrett.

Sting and Kevin Nash vs. Jeff Jarrett and Samoa Joe

Sting and Nash come out to the Wolfpac music. Jarrett still looks young somehow. Freshly married too.

Joe and Sting to start. Nash distracts Joe, Sting chokes Jarrett on the apron, Joe goes to make the save and Nash attacks him. Joe recovers, gets control and dropkicks Nash, then hits the charging back elbow and enziguiri to Sting. Jarrett tags in and gets the 10-count punches and a clothesline for 2. Sting reverses a whip, Nash nails him from behind and Sting gets a clothesline. Nash tags in and lays in some right hands, Jarrett mounts a comeback which is cut off by a knee. Snake eyes and a side slam by Nash get 2. Knees in the corner by Nash, tag to Sting who by the way has kept his shirt on. Boots and rights to Jarrett, then Sting goes to work on the arm. Whip and a Stinger Splash. Sting to the top…Jarrett gets the knees up. Jarrett gets the tag but the ref was dealing with Nash and did not see. Sting and Jarrett get a double clothesline. HOT TAG to Joe! Clotheslines for all, big boot to Sting and a back splash! Sting reverses a whip, Joe ducks the clothesline and hits a tope suicida to the floor!!! Jarrett kicks Sting but gets stun-gunned. Jarrett has Sting’s bat! Stinger splash…EATS BAT! Another bat shot by Jarrett! Kokina Klutch locked in on Sting…He’s out!

Winners: Samoa Joe and Jeff Jarrett by technical submission (Joe on Sting, Kokina Klutch)
Rating: *3/4 Nothing here. Not even sure what the point of this was.

I Quit Match: AJ Styles © vs. Tommy Dreamer

AJ is out first and is pulling the old “hide from my opponent to ambush him when he comes out” routine. It doesn’t work. Dreamer beats on Styles down the ramp and snaps his neck over the top rope. There’s the bell and Dreamer gets a single-leg takedown and tries a cloverleaf. AJ kicks him off and charges, Dreamer back drops him to the floor. Rear chinlock on the floor, crushing AJ’s head into the corner post. Nasty. AJ does not quit. They exchange chops, Tommy loses but then hits a right hand. Back inside and Tommy applies a full nelson camel clutch variant. AJ slides out , drops down and then kicks Dreamer in the face. AJ fish-hooks Dreamer’s mouth and uhhh…yeah. The ref asks if he quits. AJ whips Tommy in and charges, Tommy moves and AJ nails the corner post. Tommy tries a crossface but AJ escapes to the floor. Tommy with a clothesline from the apron to the floor. Tommy tries a suplex on the floor, AJ blocks and suplexes Tommy on the ramp. AJ tries for the figure four but Tommy takes a light from the entrance ramp and nails AJ with it! He hits him again, then wraps the wire around AJ’s mouth and applies a crossface! SHADES OF BENOIT! AJ holds on and is able to escape the hold, then whips Dreamer into the apron. Leaping clothesline by AJ. He removes the ringside padding and looks for the Styles Clash…countered! Dreamer goes for a DVD, AJ escapes but then clotheslines the cornerpost! Shoulder breaker by Tommy! He throws a chair inside then rolls AJ in. Tommy in now, he applies an armbar and the ref asks if he wants to quit. He tells Dreamer he sucks which earns him a smack in the mouth. Dreamer Pillmanizes the arm and then applies a top wristlock through the chair. AJ goes to the eye to break the hold, then goes to his kneepad for…A FORK!!! Tommy blocks the attack, hits a single-arm DDT and then applies a crossface. AJ inches to the ropes and gets to the floor, where Tommy is nice enough to introduce AJ’s arm to the steps. He then wraps AJ’s arm around the railing, which also has to suck. AJ manages to get in position to lift Dreamer for a back suplex then crotch him on the railing. AJ stomps on the knee, then lifts the railing and drops it on Tommy’s knee. He wraps Tommy’s knee around the railing, then rolls him back inside. Figure four blocked as Dreamer kicks AJ off, but AJ kicks him in the knee. AJ goes to the floor and crotches Tommy around the post, then locks in the figure four around the post! Shades of Bret Hart! AJ cannot maintain the hold, they go back inside and AJ gets a kneebreaker on the chair. Figure four applied and locked in this time, Dreamer will not quit. He tries to turn the hold…he turns it! AJ manages to break free, Dreamer sets up the chair but AJ slams his face into it. AJ positions Tommy’s head on the chair and takes a run…Tommy moves! AJ’s leg gets caught in the chair and Tommy wraps it up in a cloverleaf variant! AJ goes for the fork so Tommy breaks the hold and stomps on his hand. Tommy has the fork but AJ nails a Pele! Tommy to the floor, AJ runs and flies…GOD DAMN Tommy NAILED a kendo stick to the head while AJ was in midair! Another kendo shot, pump handle….overhead slam! Tommy takes off the shirt…KENDO STICK CROSSFACE! Tommy bends the stick back over AJ’s face and it looks NASTY. AJ has ANOTHER FORK! He jabs Dreamer…I think he got him in the eye! Dropkick by AJ and he digs the fork into Tommy’s EYE! JESUS. Tommy squeals like a pig and finally has to quit to keep his vision. Damn.

Winner: AJ Styles via submission (GHETTO FORK eye gouge)
Rating: ***½ I can get behind this sort of match when there is good action and when the spots are different. This did both things.

Hemme is with Angle now. Same deal as before.

TNA World Title Tournament Semifinal Bout: Kurt Angle vs. Jeff Hardy

Wow, Anderson and Pope in the main. We have at least an hour to fill yet.

Angle and Jeff lock up. Angle gets a facelock, Jeff gets the ropes. Duelling chants as you’d expect. Headlock for Jeff now. He gets a shoulder block then grabs the headlock again. Angle backs Jeff to the corner and lays in some right hands, Jeff blocks a suples and gets a gourdbuster and a basement dropkick for two. Shots in the corner, he charges into Angle’s elbow then gets SNAPPED DOWN with a sick powerbomb. Angle locks in a tight rear chinlock and leans on Jeff for added effect. Jeff fights out but gets taken down with a clothesline for 2. Rear waistlock by Angle now, Jeff elbows out and gets a series of clotheslines. Dropkick by Jeff and a mule kick in the corner (on the second attempt…BOTCH on the first) gets 2. Whip reversed, Jeff gets his boots up to meet the charge but then runs into a belly to belly suplex for 2. Chinlock applied by Angle, Jeff counters with a jawbreaker. Jeff to the top…Angle runs up the ropes and hits the belly to belly!! 1…2…no! Angle Slam countered to an arm drag, TWIST OF FATE! 1…2…2.87! Jeff to the top…SWANTON hits mat! Angle Slam! 1…2…2.88! Jeff kicks off the ankle lock, GERMAN! Another! Another!

Vun…two…three! Drei Deutschelanderplexen! Ah ah ah ahhhhh

Two count only for Angle. He looks frustrated but goes up top…MOONSAULT hits mat! Whisper in the Wind! 1…2…2.903!!! Both men roll to the floor, Jeff hits the Twist of Fate on the floor! Jeff goes up top…SWANTON TO THE FLOOR!!! Wow, the crowd had almost NO reaction to that. Guess they’re used to him doing that from 30-foot ladders. Ref is at a 7 count. Angle is in at 8, Jeff at 9. They meet mid-ring on their knees and exchange blows. On their feet, Kurt avoids the Twist and GERMAN! Kurt up top again…FROG SPLASH!!! 1…2…2.929! This is awesome, says Orlando. Angle is looking a little worse for wear but at least he’s moving. He sets for a powerbomb, Jeff with the back drop! TWIST OF FATE! 1…2…no!!! Legdrop by Hardy, he goes up top…SWANTON!!! 1…2…2.945! Up top again…SWANTON! 1…2…2.68!!! A third time Jeff to the top…SWAN-KNEES! Angle Slam! 1…2…2.81!!!! Lord have mercy. Ankle lock applied! Jeff’s a long way from the ropes, but managed to roll through and send Kurt to the floor! Jeff with a clothesline off the apron to the floor and both men are down. Back inside, Angle picks the leg! Ankle lock! Jeff tries to use the free leg but Angle fights it off…Jeff makes the ropes, Angle drags him to the middle! Jeff FINALLY gets the free leg around to kick Angle off, Angle comes through with a clothesline for two. Ankle lock again! Jeff looks lost, he can’t find his best option! He tries to roll but Angle steps through and maintains the hold! Again Jeff makes the ropes, again Angle pulls him off! Angle drops and grapevines and that normally means the end…Jeff STILL won’t tap! I could have sworn if the guy touched the ropes then the hold had to be broken. Jeff is still fighting the hold…the bell rings! Jeff did NOT tap! TIME LIMIT DRAW!!! Yeah, it was a full 20 minutes too. Well well well, now what do we do?

Winner: Nobody via time expired.
Rating…wait a second! Eric Bischoff’s music hits, he comes down and talks to Dixie Carter at ringside and says they will add another five minutes. Hardy is having trouble standing…the bell rings, Angle goes right to the ankle and stamps on it. More leg work by Angle…and there’s the ankle lock again! Angle turns around and Jeff uses that momentum to kick Angle to the floor. Jeff can barely stand but manages to kick Angle through the ropes and take him to the steel steps. Back inside, Jeff limps his way to the top. This can’t be good. Angle crotches him, lays in some shots…SUPER ANGLE SLAM!!! Both men are down! Angle covers! 1…2…NO!!! I just realised that maybe Pope’s good news that he tweeted about was that he was winning the title tonight. Angle charges and gets backdropped to the floor as we have a minute and change left. Kurt gets back in at the 9 count. O’Connor roll by Angle! 1…2…no! Double clothesline! Angle covers Jeff with 4 seconds left! 1…2…No! Time’s up! Now what? Five MORE minutes, says Bischoff.

Angle charges and lays in some shots, then chokes Jeff in the corner with his boot. More shots in the corner now. Jeff is still selling the ankle, good man. Shoulders in the corner by Angle, he charges and nails the post shoulder first. Best plan when someone is running at you with murderous intent? Move. Jeff takes Angle to the steps twice, a third time now, then rolls back inside. Angle is bleeding badly. He rolls inside at the 9 count, only for Jeff to lock in the Boston Crab. That’s actually closer to the Walls of Jericho. Angle looks to be fading, his arm drops twice but he’s still with us! Angle rolls through…ANKLE LOCK! Blood pouring out of Angle’s head, Jeff has 10 seconds to hang on…HE HANGS ON!!! Two overtimes, no winner. Bischoff is in the ring and says they need someone to check on Kurt’s head. Is this WWE all of a sudden? Bischoff is talking to someone on a headset, but since they said Hogan is not there and Dixie is at ringside I have no idea who that could be. He has a mic…he says trainers are telling them that the cut is too deep on Angle’s head and the match is a no contest! Wow. They couldn’t just go with the time limit?

Winner: Nobody via Kurt bleeding.
Rating: ****¼ Without the weird finish this would have been higher. Awesome match between these two that didn’t even suffer from the two overtime periods.

Hemme is now with Pope, who says he is going to give TNA an enema and the first thing that comes out will be Anderson. Wow that’s a lovely image.

TNA World Title Tournament Semifinal Bout: Mr. Anderson vs. The Pope D’Angelo Dinero

I fully expect an announcement that this is for the title. Anderson is out first, but Borash does his intro. BOO. Boy this is a lousy time to have no Impact on Thursday. Just throwing that out there.

They lock up and roll around the ropes a couple of times. Go-behind by Anderson, waistlock takedown and Pope slides out into a hammerlock. Anderson reverses, then Pope escapes to a facelock. Anderson escapes into a hammerlock but Pope stands up and kicks Anderson in the chest. Anderson tees off with a right and SLOBBERKNOCKER! Anderson comes out on top and after some stalling gets a kick to the gut and some right hands in to corner. He charges into a boot, Pope grabs the arm and hits a single-arm DDT. Hammerlock back suplex by Pope. He goes to work on the arm now, then kicks Anderson in the head. Hammerlock body slam gets 2. Kimmura applied by Pope, Anderson escapes and gets a clothesline. A series of them followed by a back elbow and…A SPIN KICK?!!?! 1…2…no! Jesus that was sweet. Anderson drops his head and gets kicked in it, but he ducks under a flying shoulder tackle and Pope lands badly on the shoulder. Anderson hammerlocks the arm and rams Pope into the top turnbuckle. Pope fires back with some forearms but charges into a boot. Clothesline by Anderson gets 2. Top wristlock by Anderson, Pope fights free but gets kneed in the gut for 2. Hammerlock back suplex for 2 more. More shots from Anderson, Pope reverses a whip and both men are down. Pope with a series of forearms and clotheslines, an inverted atomic drop and a flying shoulder tackle. Boss Man Attack by Pope gets 2. He stamps on Anderson’s face then goes up top, Anderson catches him and goes for a superplex…Pope fights it…Anderson fights back…top rope superplex…Pope headbutts Anderson, who gets crotched on the top rope and falls to the floor! Pope on the top…FLIES and nails Anderson! Back inside, Pope gets the cover…1…2…no. Pope sets for the DDE…countered into a Mic Check…countered…Anderson counters again…Finlay Roll! 1…2…No! Pope with a kick to the cut, uppercut…reverse lungblower! 1…2…2.7! Pope goes for the Mic Check, Anderson reverses into one of his own but Pope gets an arm drag. Mic Check again…CONNECTS! 1…2…no!!! Pope fights back in the corner with a series of shots and stomps, tries the DDE…Anderson moves! Pope lands on the second rope on his feet, tries to jump into Anderson…MIC CHECK!!! 1…2…3!

Winner:Mr. Anderson via pinfall (Mic Check)
Rating: **½ What a letdown after the previous match. Felt disjointed and off.

Anderson makes a paper plane out of one of Dinero’s bank notes, Pope flips him the double bird and it almost looks like they’re stalling for time. Anderson calls for the mic and announces himself as the winner.