News From Cook’s Corner 01.25.11

Hi, hello and welcome to News From Cook’s Corner! I’m Steve Cook, and I’m willing to bet that today will be a better day for you than yesterday was. Why? Well, as I was reminded when I looked back at the very first edition of this column, posted on January 23, 2005, the most depressing day of every year is January 24. I’ve always thought the day got a bad rap (my best friend’s birthday is on the 24th…which, come to think of it, might explain a lot about him), but maybe that British psychologist was on to something this year.

I mean, you folks had to read a Randle column yesterday. Naturally a day with a Cook column is several hundred times better, unless your name is “Buddy” and you are a cat. In which case you probably can’t read and your litter box hasn’t been changed for weeks.

As for me, over the weekend I had to put up with the Steelers qualifying for yet another Super Bowl, Louisville basketball losing in annoying fashion to an inferior team, and Carson Palmer declaring that he would retire if the Bengals wouldn’t trade him. It’s kind of like when Barry Sanders retired because the Lions wouldn’t trade him, except that Barry had actually accomplished what people had expected of him. It’d be easy to let these things get me down, but instead I press onward and refuse to let a calendar, a psychologist, my sports teams or the people around me make me feel depressed.

I am not going to celebrate the sixth anniversary of the debut of Cookamania, brother. According to my archives, I’ve only done 187 of these Corner news columns in that time period, so it’s not like I’ve been kicking it non-stop the whole time. There was a long break from early 07 until the middle of 09 where I spent most of my time doing Ask 411 Wrestling and other things that I’m not especially proud of. The 200th edition, currently scheduled for April 26 unless I take over another day in the rotation, may call for something if I feel inspired. We’ll see.

For now, it’s time to take this column one step closer…to DASHING!

“Looks like the Worm finally has some competition as the most ludicrous finisher ever.”

Sorry. People’s Elbow wins that one. Most will disagree because it is The Rock, and everything he ever did was “perfect”.

However, even during the Attitude Era I cringed everytime it won titles and beat guys. Sucked then. Sucks now. – Longtime Fan

I cut the People’s Elbow a little slack because I figured that the Rock Bottom or the Spine on the Pine was enough to put Rock’s opponents away, and the elbow drop was just Rock’s way of showing off. Even when Rock was a good guy, he was always a showoff. The Worm was set up by a lame bulldog-type move that shouldn’t have kept anybody down long enough for Scotty 2 Hotty to do his dance followed up by a chop to the throat.

My biggest Rock complaint wasn’t the elbow, it was the horrible version of the Sharpshooter he used in almost every match. I’m sure his heart was in the right place since Bret & Owen Hart were both helpful to him early in his career, but it never failed to grind my gears. It probably would have helped if they were around to help him perfect it, but Austin had a good Sharpshooter too so I don’t know why Rock didn’t ask him. I also didn’t like how he covered his head so blatantly every time somebody suplexed him, but in hindsight it was probably good for his brain.

“People who followed his career in the indies know that he(CM Punk) certainly isn’t above going after fans that do something stupid to provoke him.”

And how many of them do you think sit ringside at WWE events? I’m guessing very, very few… – Just Sayin

Point well taken. I just wish that a very small percentage of the ringside fan population wouldn’t think that having a ringside seat entitles them to strike performers. It’s not like we go down to where they work and smack the hamburger out of their hand.

And I can’t believe how many of you were surprised that Michael Cole got something wrong! See now why I have to constantly remind you that he’s had 13+ years of continuous employment despite never improving one fucking bit??? Maybe now, you’ll stop claiming how he’s a “great commentator” or that his “gimmick is working and not at all forced!” – Brad B

Are people really claiming that Michael Cole is a great commentator? I don’t think I’ve read anybody say that other than maybe one or two 411 writers just to be contrarian. I don’t think it’s a popular opinion, as 99% of the things I read about Cole are about him doing something stupid. I do think he’s doing exactly what Vince McMahon wants, and I think Vince finds it immensely entertaining.

For the record, I found Cole’s negative act amusing on NXT at times, and at least he has a personality now. He still gets basic stuff wrong all the time and wouldn’t crack my top 25 play by play announcers of all time. I’d exaggerate and go “top 100”, but I’m not sure I can name 100 play by play announcers I’d rate above him. I mean, if I said “Jimmy Bower”, I’d be lying.

That chick in the Other Wrestling News, is that Annie Social? Because, whoever it is, holy shit I’m in love. – Black Scorpion

Yes sir. With the usual “Other Wrestling News” person in the “Cook’s Classics” section of the column last week (Yes, it was Reby Sky with a slightly different look than usual), Annie Social got a chance with that slot. I think she did good with it, and even though the “Other” spot is taken with two of my absolute favorites this week, we’ll slide her in somewhere else.

That didn’t sound right.

As for Melina’s heel turn, she needs more mic time to actually get over as a heel, rather than just two slaps. She was an effective heel once before and I think she has it in her still but she needs more than just the average diva heel gimmick. – midcard

I think she’s capable of getting over as a heel, but it’s difficult when they put a microphone in front of her and she doesn’t say anything. The best explanation I have for that is that she was trying to put over that she was intensely focusing on the match and didn’t have time to talk to Michael Cole & Eve Torres, but Cole opted to bury her instead of saying that she might be focusing on her opposition. Don’t know if that was him being stupid, or if those were his orders. It’s tough to tell with him. It’s also difficult when they make her the #1 contender and then job her to somebody else in a tag team match. I don’t think Melina’s a very high priority with WWE Creative right now, and we can speculate on the reasons for that all day.

Penguin: Mr. Anderson & RVD vs. The Hardys.

Huh. How bout that. Thanks, Penguin!

Penguin: OffTheTeam.com!

Am I the only one who read this, imagining Tom Tucker and Ollie Williams from Family Guy saying it? – kennedyfan

I didn’t really have that in mind, but once I read this comment I totally got it. What’d you think, Penguin?

Penguin: Offtheteam.com!

Thanks, Penguin! Have a happy birthday! Let’s do a couple Rs comments…

Also can someone start doing the R’s for NWA Champioship Wrestling From Hollywood? Despite the shitty venu, small crowd, awfull commentary, and poor video quailty, its a pretty entertaining wrestling show. – The Flying Elvis

I think I’ll try and convince Geoff Eubanks to do it since he actually gets this show on television.

“Now, some may be suspicious of Tarver since he hasn’t been on TV in awhile and he just happens to show up on SD right after some of his old Nexus buddies arrive, but I thought he looked sincere when he declared that Long was like that when he got there.”

Wow. Please tell me you’re kidding? – Kimmy Gibler

Love a Full House reference. How come Kimmy never did anything after that show? Anyway, it turns out that Tarver is scheduled to return to action on Smackdown very soon, so he might end up being responsible for the attack on General Manager Long. Or, as The Great Capt. Smooth opined, he may end up being Teddy’s illegitimate son. I could see either of these things happening.

stop doing roh. nobody reads it. – please

These comments are a lot funnier when there isn’t an ROH review in the column.

If there isn’t a conclusion to the McIntyre/Kelly angle real soon, Drew’s gonna take some permanent damage from this shit. Here’s what I mean…

Let’s say they’re turning Drew babyface (they’re not)… Making him look like a complete bitch who strikes out with women, pouts and stomps off? No one will EVER get behind that dude as a babyface.

Now let’s say that, instead, they’re just carbon-copying the Kelly Kelly/Dolph Ziggler angle from a year or two ago, only this time Kelly is a horrendous c-word and the dude trying to court her is a massive, puffy vagina. Who’s getting over here..?

Speaking of Kelly being a horrendous c-word… isn’t she supposed to be a babyface? Or does it not count because no one is supposed to give a shit about the divas? – KanyonKriest

I dunno, I think the Kelly angle’s helping Drew connect with the people. It’s working with me, anyway. Most of us can identify with Drew’s position…he really likes this girl and wants her to like him too, but she wants him to change his ways in order for her to like him. As hard as he tries to change, it’s tough to avoid his old habits. And even when he suppresses his desire to crush somebody only to get provoked into action, he gets all the blame for it. I think most of us have been in a similar position, except for the part where we’re wrestling people all the time. But we see where Drew’s coming from, and when Kelly gives him the business even though it’s obvious that he’s trying, we feel for him.

If nothing else, it gives me a chance to vent my frustrations about previous relationships. Everybody wins!

And now, the fake news!

WWE will be announcing their fourth-quarter financial results on February 10, but issued a press release on Friday saying that earnings per share for the quarter will range from 8 cents to 10 cents, which is down quite a bit from analysts’ projection of 17 cents. It’s times like this we wish that JP Prag was still on the staff, but I do have a limited knowledge of economics thanks to some 200 level college classes that I attended occasionally, which allows me to tell you this:

That ain’t great news.

I assume WWE released this information early to keep people from going bonkers on February 10, but their stock price fell from $13.88 to 13.50 during the day, and the aftermarket price was down to $12.42, which is below their previous 52-week low of $12.86. It traded as low as $11.50 on Monday before closing at $12.51. For what it’s worth, analysts are still recommending that people hang on to their WWE stock and aren’t making too much of this until they get more information.

But it’s never too early for people to panic, and some folks within WWE from wondering if there might be yet another talent purge, considering that the last one was due to budget cuts. Honestly, if I was a WWE Superstar and I wasn’t essential to WWE‘s plans for the future or involved in a major storyline or if there were any people in the company that didn‘t like me for some reason, that’s something I’d always be worried about. Yes, I’m an exceptionally paranoid individual, but the fact is that WWE has released over fifty people during each of the last five years. I wouldn’t count on that changing in 2011. With Tough Enough coming back this year, and with more people coming up from FCW almost on a weekly basis, that’s a lot of new talent coming into WWE. When new talent comes in, usually that means that old talent is going out, unless times are great and they need to expand the roster. I don’t see roster expansion as something in WWE’s plans at the moment. They don’t use all of the people they have on the roster now.

So if you’ve been around for a while and aren’t really doing much of anything or impressing anybody…you better start doing something to impress somebody. I’m not saying that the sky is falling or OMG WWE IZ GOING OUT OF BIDNESS anything like that, it’s just the nature of the beast.

In better WWE news, Smackdown ratings continue to go up every week and set new records for SyFy viewership on Friday nights. This means that people are finding the show and are liking what they’re seeing…and though the wrestling quality has been a little down the last couple weeks, I think SD’s made up for that with new storylines that add dimensions to the performers on their show. I also think the cross-over with Raw is working out pretty well, as guys like Alberto Del Rio are being introduced to the Raw audience and making those folks interested in what’s happening on Friday nights.

The Great Khali was involved in an interesting incident over the weekend in his native land of India. Reports vary wildly as to what exactly happened, but what we do know is that Khali made a visit to Deputy Speaker of the Punjab State Assembly Satpal Gosain’s home on Friday night. Gosain’s grandson is a big Khali fan, as is apparently most of India because it seems like he can’t go anywhere without a mob scene taking place. Apparently some fans of Khali’s wanted to get pictures of the big guy, and one of Khali’s bodyguards took it upon himself to shoot at the crowd. Somewhere from one to three people were injured, and there have been charges filed against the guard. Khali, for his part, claimed to TMZ that he had left the house a half-hour before the shooting took place, and he was sorry for the victims.

I think stuff like this is the only reason Jeff Small hasn’t moved to India to get closer to his man-crush. It’s dangerous over there, especially around Khali.

Edge & Randy Orton will be reprising their Rated RKO team this week on Smackdown when they take on The Miz & Dolph Ziggler. Speculation is abound that Edge & Orton might re-form their team on a more regular basis now. I think that’s a little over-reaction to one tag team match intended to build two singles matches on a PPV, but it makes more sense than when Orton randomly teams up with John Cena every few months despite the fact they’ve always hated each other. At least Orton & Edge got along for a couple of months.

Bret Hart did an interview where he said that he would be happy to induct Shawn Michaels into the WWE Hall of Fame. That’s something you never would have heard as recently as a year ago. Other possible candidates to induct HBK include Marty Jannetty, Triple H, Jose Lothario, Triple H, Vince McMahon, Triple H & Triple H.

While much of America was watching the Green Bay Packers take on the Chicago Bears, Todd Grisham was busy commentating on ABC’s telecast of the AKC/Eukanuba National Championship Dog Show. I flipped it over for a few seconds just to see if this was accurate, and sure enough there was Todd talking about some dog. News reporters with less discretion and respect towards women than myself would make a joke about one of the Divas here, but here at the Corner we’re all about treating the WWE Divas with the respect that they deserve. So instead we’ll point out that Todd has plenty of experience with dogs thanks to his work on Major League Soccer telecasts.

Former WWE writer John Piermarini started a blog where he talked about some of his experiences while working for WWE. Not long afterwards, all the content got pulled and was replaced with a message that it’ll be back soon. Methinks somebody talked to Mr. Piermarini and discussed his options with him. Nevertheless, some folks were kind enough to summarize John’s stories, and we’ll share some of them now.

-The Bellas were the ones that came up with the idea for their storyline with Daniel Bryan. They strike me as real go-getters, as I heard a story Colt Cabana told on a pod cast where they told WWE higher-ups that if they weren’t called up to the main roster they’d be quitting…and sure enough, they were on WWE TV the next week. Smart move on their part.

-John was the main writer for the LayCool segments. He’s very high on Michelle McCool and claims that she does not get any special treatment from WWE. I realize I’ve probably discredited him now to a lot of you.

-Skip Sheffield is a favorite of Vince McMahon’s, and Vince thinks Skip could be the #2 baby face someday. I dunno about that, I see Skip as more of a monster heel than as a face, but apparently he reminds people of a young Steve Austin. I like Skip as much as anybody, but I’m not really sure about that one. I saw Steve Austin when he was young. I knew Steve Austin. Skip Sheffield, you are no Steve Austin.

With all due respect, sir.

(What, you think I want that guy mad at me? Do I look like I have a death wish?)

-John was very high on the Usos, and still is, but feels that they were doomed because Vince didn’t understand their preppy hip-hop Anti-Samoan gimmick. Vince wasn’t the only one. They were also the victim of bad timing because the Nexus debuted right after them and they got tossed to the side. I can see that, as I had problems buying into them because I felt they hadn’t earned their way onto the roster. Wasn’t that what NXT was for at that point?

-Vince isn’t high on John Morrison because he “can’t kick anyone’s ass”. Yeah, but he like flips around and stuff, man! He’s also got 12-pack abs and that’s gotta count for something.

I wish I’d saved some more of them when I first read them on the blog, because there was some interesting stuff there and I didn’t get to everything. Boourns.

-Edge has his DDP-style rib tape on tonight. Guess he got his sternum crushed by that 450 splash.

-The Raw GM must be in a cranky mood tonight. Maybe he’s a Jets/Bears fan. That really narrows it down, right? Our GM is either Fireman Ed or Mike Ditka. I’d mark out huge if it was Ditka.

-Jack Swagger, Drew McIntyre & Tyson Kidd come on down for an exhibition Royal Rumble. Tyson’s gone before I finished typing the first sentence.

-Swagger’s gone after I finished the second.

-And there goes Drew. Edge would do well in the Royal Rumble if he was in it.

-Edge still hates computers. He must have read some recent reviews of his work.

-I wonder if they had Mason Ryan get tatted up like Batista if anybody would be able to tell the difference.

-Punk plugs EVOLVE.

-It’s a pity Ryan doesn’t do his promo in Welsh. It’s a lovely language.

-Punk calls the Corre a poor man’s Nexus, so they come out and Wade calls the new Nexus a bunch of rubbish. A much more effective insult if you ask me.

-Ezekiel & Mason stand off. Yikes.

-Barrett vs. Punk with Cena as a referee? Well, Cena hates them both so I doubt he’ll be biased.

-John Morrison & Mark Henry have a lot in common. For example, they are both on the Raw roster.

-Now, King Sheamus & Alberto Del Rio, there’s two guys with a lot in common. Sheamus won a tournament to become a king, and Del Rio’s the descendant of Spanish royalty.

-Neither of these pairings look very similar.

-I wonder if Cole ribbing King for only lasting 4 seconds in the 97 Rumble will lead to anything.

-Michael Tarver is watching this match backstage. Hmmm. He does seem more trustworthy without the SARS mask.

-So what’s with Henry’s red tights? Is he unable to remove them and that’s why he’s worn them all these months?

-Mercifully, Alberto makes him tap out before I think about that too much. Thank you, Alberto!

-Divas title match!

-Natalya goes further back on the Sharpshooter than Bret ever did. I forget how flexible Melina is sometimes, she really should have that in her matches more.

-Well, it’d been almost a month since LayCool made fun of somebody for being fat. Thank goodness they brought that back!

-Isn’t the stuff Punk’s pulling exactly what David Otunga was irritated about with Wade Barrett?

-Little Known Fact: Miz & Alex Riley wear Axe: Raw Sewage Body Spray. Not one of their top selling brands.

-Hey, I read online that Dolph Ziggler might interfere in the Edge/Miz match, and here he is!

-Cole is back to having a crush on Vickie Guerrero, in case you were wondering.

-OK, I’m sure nobody was wondering.

-A Bruno Sammartino reference on commentary! I don’t see the similarities between him & Miz, but still.

-Hey, Dolph interfered! And here comes Randy Orton! He looks pretty good for a guy who suffered the worst beating of his life last week.

-Orton should have opened that briefcase so we can find out what’s inside.

-Wade Barrett sure can cut a promo.

-Nobody can expect me to have coherent thoughts with the Bellas & Maryse in a match, so I’m not even going to try.

-Silly Bellas, you can’t let Daniel Bryan come between you!

-That didn’t sound right.

-I enjoy the Royal Rumble theme song even though it doesn‘t really fit wrestling. I probably shouldn’t mention who I’ve been living in a dream about.

-Daniel Bryan’s been living in a dream about Gail Kim! And she’s shooting on the Bellas! Yow! They’re all shooting now, which is a pretty realistic portrayal of most female/female relationships I’ve seen. I’m fairly certain they all secretly hate each other.

-I should point out that Daniel has one of the classiest locker rooms I’ve ever seen. A big step up from his ROH days.

-5 Hour Energy Girl, you are not fat!

– McGilliharris takes on Santinlov. Colawler calls the action at ringside.

-If one of Punk’s minions loses to the Cobra, they should be kicked out of the group. I’m just sayin’.

-Harris gets the win with the Shellshock. I’m a little surprised that more people use the Skullf*ck than the Shellshock.

-These are old Alex Shelley moves, get your minds out of the gutter.

-I think that extra came right out of the 1920s with that getup.

-Why did people think we’d never see Barrett vs. Punk? They were at each other’s throats like two weeks ago.

-Nice of Cena to bother to wear a referee shirt this time. RESPECT HIS AUTHORITY!

-Cena ejects the New Nexus, which is a smart move for his safety. He ejects the Corre, which is also a smart move for his safety.

-Now he’s just being a petulant child by attacking the combatants. No wonder kids love him.

-I haven’t seen officiating this ridiculous since the Louisville/Providence game.

-He’s disqualified both men for excessive use of profanity on a PG show. Both groups are out of the Rumble? How in the world are they going to fill 40 slots now?

-Luckily we have a mystery GM to take care of such things, and he allows both groups in the Rumble! It’s about time this guy started making sense.

-He tells Cena to apologize or he’s out of the Rumble! How many men apologize by taking off their referee shirt?

-I doubt the sincerity of his apologies, especially since he cheap shots both men afterwards.

-The two groups run down, and then everybody else runs down. I haven’t seen Big Show run that fast since last summer when he was running after the ice cream truck.

-This show did a pretty decent job building the Royal Rumble, and hopefully they continue that trend on Smackdown. I also can’t hate on a show where Daniel Bryan shows up two hot twins by making out with Gail Kim. Good times.

Divina Fly, the lady pictured above who is the younger cousin of Amazing Red, recently had a tryout with TNA and did a photo shoot. Some are speculating that she may be signing with TNA due to the TNA watermark on the pictures. I’ll speculate that she may be signing with TNA because TNA is apparently going to sign Amazing Red’s whole family. It’s nice to know that Jeff Hardy isn’t the only one that gets to have his family members on the payroll.

And yes, I’ll take Divina over Jeff’s siblings/cousins/whatever any day of the week.

Kurt Angle had to leave TNA’s European tour early because his fiancee Giovanna Yannotti went to the hospital with high blood pressure issues, and ended up giving birth to their daughter three weeks ahead of schedule. Kurt reported on Monday that he
child, Giuliana Marie Angle, is doing fine, and the mother will fully recover. Congratulations to Kurt and his family, and thank goodness they survived what could have been a dire situation. The miracles of modern science.

Hulk Hogan got some mainstream media love last week when New York Jets linebacker Bart Scott credited him as the inspiration for his post-game diatribe after they defeated the New England Patriots. Couldn’t beat the Steelers though, could ya Bart? “Can’t wait”, my ass.

This typical Hogan promo below is an example of how the Hulkster has inspired football players and folks all over the sporting world:

Boy, Hulkster’s character never would have worked in the PG era.

Sarita’s new contract with TNA is a two-year deal. I could very well end up being completely wrong on this, but it seems like they might have plans to use her in the future with the way her TV appearances have increased lately. I’d say she’s the best in-ring Knockout currently on the roster since they got rid of all the other ones that were mostly there because of their workrate. That’s what makes me worry about Sarita’s future, but maybe I should worry no more.

Samoa Joe did an interview with 1wrestling.com where he talked about how certain people didn’t want him in the main event scene and people in TNA didn’t want to wrestle him. Bill Apter probably had fun going back to the fast and doing a kayfabe interview again, and Joe probably had fun doing his old ROH character again. Nope, I’m not reading too much into this one…Joe’s too happy getting paid to be concerned with how he’s utilized.

Kevin Nash said in an interview in Puerto Rico that he’s in talks to return to TNA. I guess those of you who are hoping that Big Sexy is the ringleader of TNA’s new “They” group may be in luck. I dunno, I’m kind of past caring about these mystery TNA groups, but maybe that’s just me.

In case you’re keeping track of which TNA people are allowed to be in WWE video games (and who isn’t?), Hulk Hogan was included in the WWE All Stars game while Ric Flair wasn’t. Eh, I think most people consider Flair an NWA/WCW All Star anyway, and if this game is like all the others you can create him in the Create-A-Wrestler feature anyway. No biggie. Well, it might be to Flair since he doesn’t get any residual checks out of it.

Lizzy Valentine may have turned down Tough Enough, but the long-lost favorite of the Corner is popping up all over the place these days. As pictured above, she’ll be on some upcoming episodes of Lucha Libre USA: Masked Warriors which will air at some point in the future. As pictured below, she danced on a pole for the Lucha Las Vegas promotion that had a show that I couldn’t find results for.

Well, I’ll live without the results.

Lots of iPPVs coming up in the indy wrestling scene. Dragon Gate USA will be offering their shows this Friday & Saturday on gofightlive.tv, while Ring of Honor’s Ninth Anniversary show WrestleMania weekend shows will also be on the service. This really seems to be catching on with indy wrestling promotions. I haven’t purchased any of these yet and every time I hear about one there seems to be a multitude of technical difficulties with the production. But, ROH seems happy with what they’re doing for their product, and DGUSA has ditched their PPV plan to go with iPPV. I’m sure it’s gotta cost less than producing a regular PPV telecast and there aren’t as many different providers to negotiate with.

“Psycho” Sid Vicious achieved the “triple whammy” on Friday night in Nashville. He was originally pulled over for not wearing his seat belt, but the cop became especially interested when he noticed that a bag containing 18 grams of marijuana was sitting on Sid’s armrest. To round out the evening, Sid didn’t have his driver’s license with him. He was released on $1000 bond. I have no official opinion on marijuana because I would never use anything that the government deems illegal (nope, not me, nuh uh), but leaving it out in the open is pretty stupid. Unless he was trying to get a job with TNA, in which case maybe he doesn’t have half the brain of Kevin Nash after all.

It turns out that the Nashville Fairgrounds, home to countless wrestling shows including most of TNA’s weekly PPV events from 2002 to 2004, will not be closing down after all. The city council voted to keep the Fairgrounds open through 2012 before proceeding with redevelopment. That makes me feel a little better about not being able to catch the Jerry Lawler vs. Bill Dundee match set for the venue this weekend. Perhaps they can have the match again at the end of 2012.

Speaking of the event at the Fairgrounds this weekend, Jamie Dundee has challenged Joey Styles to show up there due to some comments that Styles made about him on the WWE 24/7 ECW show. I wouldn’t be counting on that happening, but Jamie also said that he might call Lawler out to explain the actions of his flunky. If you haven’t been paying attention to this, Styles buried Dundee on the show by talking about how he was so drugged up that he even got fired by ECW, and that really took some talent. He then said that Jamie could come after him and he’d knocked bigger people out. Dundee didn’t take kindly to this. I’m so sorry, I’m trying to act like I care about this and I’m coming up real short. If it was Bill Dundee & AJ Styles I’d probably care more.

Expect ROH to expect the signing of some new talent later in the week. Boy, I hope it’s bigger news than the last time they signed some new talent and I had no idea who most of them were. I still don’t, as a matter of fact. I know Mike Bennett’s getting a heck of a push, but since I’m unable to watch their TV show I’ve never seen the guy wrestle.

Dustin Diamond will be appearing at an AAW show on February 11th in Merrionette Park, IL. As 411’s Hulk Hogan’s Celebrity Championship Wrestling recapper, I got to cover Screech’s entire televised wrestling career as it happened, and it was an honor that I cherish to this day. He was my second favorite performer on the show behind Trishelle Cannatella, which isn’t a bad place to be. Or so I hear. I thought Dustin had some potential except for the fact that he was unable to chop or kick anybody without hurting himself. Other than that I thought he was fantastic.

Of course, I may be biased because I grew up on Saved By The Bell and still catch a rerun or two in the morning before heading to work. What about it?

Ari talks about El Generico’s big weekend. That’s right, he’s going to DisneyWorld! Ole!

Weyer looks back at the 2001 Royal Rumble. Drew Carey!

Bramma is recapping all the Royal Rumbles of the 00s this week. Something tells me that the 2004 Rumble review comment thread will be interesting.

Hubbard lists the top 20 entrance themes. I have no idea how Rob Conway’s theme missed the cut.

WOTW introduced the world to Rysuke Taguchi & Hierachon. I swear that Byers just makes these names up half the time to see if he can trick people into voting for them.

Well, that’s all we have time for this week! Don’t forget to check out all the great writers here at the 411 every single day, and I’ll be back next week with more News From Cook’s Corner! Until then…

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