Dark Pegasus Video Review: Fully Loaded 1999

Fully Loaded 1999 by J.D. Dunn July 25, 1999 Live from Buffalo, N.Y.. Your hosts are Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler. On Sunday Night Heat, The Undertaker attacked Steve Austin and busted open his cut with some production equipment. Actually, the more impressive spot was on Raw when they cut him open and signed the title contract in Austin’s own blood. Vince McMahon swears he had nothing to do with that. Opening Match, Intercontinental Title: Edge vs. Jeff Jarrett (w/Debra). Edge won his first singles title the night before at a house show in Toronto when Ken Shamrock no-showed and Edge substituted in his Intercontinental Title match. He and Christian also dropped out of the Brood. I guess this could be considered a dream match today, if you were the type to dream about wrestling matches. They open with the blowjob wrestling sequence as the fans chant for puppies. Edge sunset flips Jarrett from the second rope and gets two. Jarrett bails and threatens to walk out with Debra and the belt before returning and tossing Edge into the steps. Back in, Edge ducks a swing and gets two off a Northern Lights Suplex. He tweaks his knee while floating over Jarrett, so Jarrett clips it and goes to work. Edge shoves out of the figure-four and rolls Jarrett up for two. Jarrett kicks out, sending Edge’s shoulder into the post. Jarrett switches up and goes after the arm with a single-arm DDT. Cool spot as Jarrett puts Edge against the ropes, slides under, and instead of doing the uppercut, he yanks Edge’s arm down on the ropes. Jarrett grabs a sleeper for a bit. They work in the spot where Jarrett and Edge knock heads and then Edge falls and headbutts Jarrett in the crotch. Edge misses something but lands on his feet and small packages Jarrett for two. That sets up a Tornado DDT. Jarrett sidesteps a spear and tosses Edge to the floor. The lights go out, and the Brood music hits. When they come back on, Gangrel is lying unconscious. His bloodbath apparently failed. Back in, Edge counters a dropkick to a powerbomb for two and hits a spear. He messes up his shoulder, though. Debra gets on the apron to allow Edge a closer look. Careful, Deb. It’s Edge. He might want to marry you. Jarrett jumps him from behind, knocking Debra off the apron. Edge feels so bad that Jarrett is able to hit the Stroke and reclaim his title at 13:25. Edge’s first really good singles match since he faced Owen. *** Jarrett gloats for a while until Steve Austin storms the ring and gives him a Stunner. See, Jarrett was supposed to get elevated, but Austin allegedly wouldn’t have it. Jarrett got buried here and, with the prospect of a glass ceiling overhead, jumped to WCW when Russo left. Russo and Jarrett have been buddies ever since. WWF Tag Team Titles, Acolyte Rules: The Hardyz & Michael Hayes vs. The Acolytes. Hayes coached the Hardyz to victory, but he proved to be a much better coach than manager because he agreed to put himself in this match and agreed to Acolyte Rules. I don’t know exactly what that means, but when your opponents have rules named for them, it has to be some kind of disadvantage. Ross explains that it means No DQ and there must be a winner. Big brawl in the aisle. I’m typing that a lot in these 1999 PPVs. The Acolytes isolate Hayes and toss him into the steps. Bradshaw stays on the outside to continue beating up Hayes while Faarooq delivers a beatdown on Jeff. Cool spot as Jeff ducks a Faarooq swing and hits a somersault plancha on an unsuspecting Bradshaw. Matt moonsaults onto the pile. Michael Hayes must have put this match together. The Hardyz find a key to success: one guy hits a move to soften up the Acolyte for the other guy to hit the real move. Jeff gets tossed out by Bradshaw and lands on his head. Faarooq spinebusters Matt who assumes the face-in-peril role. Hayes gets the (not) hot tag and gets his ass kicked by Bradshaw. He scurries over and tags Jeff who promptly eats a powerslam from Faarooq. Jeff jumps up to the top for the Whisper in the Wind, but Bradshaw violently chokeslams him. He pauses to flip off Hayes. Is he just grumpy, or is there some heat there that I don’t know about? The match breaks down, and Matt hits the Twist of Fate on Faarooq. Bradshaw saves and hits a short-arm clothesline. That sets up a backdrop superplex by Bradshaw, but Jeff grabs Hayes’ cane and NAILS Bradshaw with it. The Hardyz set up for Poetry in Motion, but Bradshaw KILLS him with the Clothesline from Hell. Faarooq tosses Matt, and the Acolytes finish Hayes with the doubleteam powerbomb at 9:34. Good big-man-vs-little-man match. Hayes would get turfed by the Hardyz who would replace E&C as the New Brood. ***1/4 D-Lo Brown, who was starting to get *very* over, promises to stop the push of Mideon. European Title: Mideon vs. D-Lo Brown. Mideon was handed the European Title by Shane McMahon, so don’t worry, no one had to job to him or anything. D-Lo talks trash but gets slapped. D-Lo fires back and hits Mideon with a friggin’ tope! LUCHA D-LO! Mideon has no respect, though, and tosses D-Lo into the steps. Back in, Mideon powerbombs D-Lo for two. A chinlock kills some time, and Mideon tells the fans to “shut the hell up!” Edgy. Mideon never really took his new gimmick and ran with it the way the Acolytes did. Then again, I’m not sure exactly what he’s supposed to be. I remember a lot of stuff about eyeballs. D-Lo fights back and sunset flips Mideon for two. The Sky High and shakey-shakey legdrop set up the Lo Down for the win at 7:12. The title is finally back where it belongs. *3/4 Al Snow screams at Michael Cole about the voices in his head. See, he used to carry a mannequin head named “Head” around, and it used to talk to him. Not literally, of course, because that would be stupid, but he thought it did, and that was the important thing. Well, some dastardly heel shoved a spike through Head, causing Snow to go nuts and beg for Big Bossman to kill him. WWF Hardcore Title: Al Snow vs. The Big Bossman. Bossman beats on Head, and Al sells it like it’s a voodoo doll. Bossman shoves him into a production box, but Snow comes back. They brawl near the entrance and knock over some of the pretty triangles they have set up. The brawl goes backstage where Bossman tosses Snow into a “Punt, Pass & Kick” sign. The cameraman takes a tumble, and Bossman goes low on Al. Snow dumps hot coffee on him. In the background, some guy tries to use the payphone but sees the brawl and runs off. “Oh no! Everyone will see me wearing a fannypack!” Bossman grabs the down marker from the football equipment and beats Al with it. Then, he switches it from first to fourth down and punts Al in the gut. They take it over to the loading dock where Bossman tries to run Snow over with the little cart. It won’t start, though, so Al is able to recover and use the FOLIAGE OF DESTRUCTION! Yes, he’s beating him with a potted plant. They fight to the outside, and Bossman bulldogs Snow on the concrete. Snow hits him with a hubcap and berates Bossman for being unable to beat him. Bossman fires back with a brick. They fight across the street and nearly get run over. Bossman breaks a bottle over Al’s head and cuffs him to a fence. Snow begs to be put out of his misery, so Bossman beats him with the nightstick and pins him with a boot to the chest at 10:08. Snow is finally happy, even though it looks like he got a bukkake bath. Fun and innovative spots plus some interesting storytelling. **3/4 Recap of a great, unheralded angle as Kane briefly reunited with his brother, the Undertaker in order to destroy the Big Show. They would have done it, too, but Kane discovered that the Undertaker, was just using him, which was confirmed when the Undertaker chokeslammed Kane’s little buddy, X-Pac. Kane was so distraught that he chokeslammed the Undertaker and probably got the biggest face pop of his career. X-Pac gave Kane a big hug on the ramp, and their friendship was cemented. The Big Show vs. Kane. Hardcore Holly is your referee. I wasn’t really looking forward to this after the debacle at King of the Ring, but this is quite an improvement. Big Show gorilla presses Kane all the way to the floor in a big bump (for a super heavyweight). Kane punches his way back until Holly yanks him back and tells Kane to let him out of the corner. Big Show uses the distraction to clothesline Kane and take over. Lots of clubbing forearms and headbutts follow. **Yawn!** He calls his shot and powerslams Kane, but he tries to pin him with one hand. Holly advises him to hook a leg next time because it only gets two. Funny. Kane comes back with a DDT, drawing an admonition from Holly for hair-pulling. Kane hits his flying clothesline and readies for the chokeslam, but Holly clops Kane’s knee. Show hits his own chokeslam and gets a quick count for the win at 8:13. Slow and plodding, but at least it had some action in spots. * X-Pac hits the ring and spinkicks Holly in retaliation. That brings out the Undertaker to chokeslam X-Pac. Undertaker and Big Show team up to deliver a massive beatdown to X-Pac and Kane. Show officially turns back to heel and would remain so until the Fall. In the back, Undertaker is returning from the ring only to get jumped by Steve Austin who tosses him into the wall and busts him open. Iron Circle Match: Ken Shamrock vs. Steve Blackman. JR notes that this is unsanctioned by the WWF. Well, it’s got a WWF referee, on a WWF PPV, during a WWF event, and Steve Blackman is wearing a ‘WWF Attitude’ shirt. I’m not sure what would have given us that impression. Anyway, an “Iron Circle Match” takes place in the parking lot in circle of cars with WWF jobbers sitting around banging on the hoods and honking a lot. Yeah, that doesn’t get irritating. This is more of a movie stunt show than a match. Blackman thrust kicks Shamrock and he *flies* through the air and lands on the hood of a car. Blackman gets a tar arn (or “tire iron” for us Yankees). He misses, though, and smashes in the windshield. Shammy grabs a chain and chokes Blackman down for the win at 4:02. Lots of brawling and martial arts, but it was too short and rushed to be much good. *1/4 Terry Taylor tries to get a word with the Undertaker, who threatens to snuff the Rooster. For the Rights to the Name “D-Generation X”: Road Dogg & X-Pac vs. Billy Gunn & Chyna. The match makes a lot of sense, but the stipulations are kind of silly. See, DX split apart over the Spring of 1999, but Hunter wanted the rights for marketing purposes. That would have been fine except that Jim Ross and Michael Cole totally oversold Road Dogg & X-Pac’s reason for fighting as “they’re fighting for what DX stands for!” Yeah, dick jokes and showing your ass on national television. I should point out that Billy and Chyna have matching panties on tonight. Funny spot as Chyna dominates Road Dogg early and turns to soak up some adulation from Mr. Ass, so Roadie dropkicks her in the back, sending her into Gunn. Chyna turns and misses a swing, but Road Dogg ducks and she runs into Gunn *again*. Roadie eventually plays face-in-peril because X-Pac is still injured. Billy hits a Stinger Splash but eats a boot while trying something off the second rope. X-Pac gets the hot tag but runs into a hot shot from Gunn. Chyna powerslams Pac. I guess we’ll call that foreplay. They work in a false tag spot (with X-Pac signaling to Gunn to come in). That allows more doubleteaming by Evil DX. X-Pac gets powerslammed by Gunn for two. Chyna tries a handspring elbow but gets clotheslined by X-Pac. HOT TAG TO ROAD DOGG! He cleans house on Gunn and Shakes, Rattles & Rolls Chyna for two. X-Pac gives Chyna the Broncobuster. More foreplay. Gunn misses a Stinger Splash and takes the I’m-Fucking-You-In-the-Pooper Slam from Road Dogg at 11:44. So, D-Generation X, the innovative, kayfabe-breaking, rebellious stable that became iconic for the WWF was now made up of the Real Double J and the 1-2-3 Kid. None of it would matter as X-Pac would form a team with Kane while Roadie would rejoin Mr. Ass just a few months later. **1/4 #1 Contender’s Match, Strap Match: Triple H vs. The Rock. This is not a “touch-the-corners” match. It’s just “Falls Count Anywhere” with both guys strapped together. Brawl to start, and they work their way over to the Spanish table. It’s just a tease, though. Hunter gets whipped into the steps. The brawl spills into the crowd and around to the entrance. Rock drops HHH on the barricade. Ross says that Helmsley’s punishment after the MSG Incident was just created by the newsletters. See, this is why you have to take everything Ross says on his blog with a grain of salt. Rock suplexes Helmsley on the floor for two. They fight back to the ring where Hunter hits a high knee. Chyna walks down to the ring to distract the ref while Rock hits the Rock Bottom. The ref is still with Chyna, though. Well, that was a silly spot because Hunter was still in control when Chyna hopped up on the apron. What did he signal to her — “Hey, distract the ref while I turn around into this Rock Bottom?” Hunter goes low and chokes the Rock out with the strap. Rock yanks Hunter off the top rope, or, as Ross says, “The Rock jerks Triple H off… the top rope.” Rock hits a Samoan Drop for two. Hunter decides he’ll just take the strap off because that’s much easier. Rock makes him pay with some STIFF strap shots. The People’s DDT gets two. Chyna distracts the ref again while Billy Gunn runs in and hits Rock with a club. You know, it’s “No DQ,” they didn’t really need the ref distraction there. It only gets two anyway. Rock counters the Pedigree with a shot to the little H. People’s Elbow, but Gunn yanks Rock off the cover. Rock gives Gunn a Rock Bottom but turns around into the Pedigree at 19:22. Waaaaaaay overbooked, but hey, they had to set up that epic Billy Gunn vs. Rock “Kiss My Ass” match somehow. The strap really didn’t enter into it that much outside of giving them another foreign object to use. *** WWF Title, First Blood Match: Steve Austin vs. The Undertaker. The stipulation is that if Austin loses, he can never get another title shot. If Austin wins, Vince McMahon will never appear on WWF TV again. Uh-huh. Earlier, the Undertaker was involved in a separate dispute with X-Pac and Kane, something that would be important later. Austin is bandaged up from Taker’s attack during the contract signing. Taker meets Austin in the aisle and pummels him against the railing. To ringside, Taker knocks Austin into the audience and then tosses the ringsteps at him! There’s a lawsuit waiting to happen. Finally, they get to the ring as Vince McMahon shouts advice from the announce table. Taker misses a big boot in the corner, so Austin starts stomping away at the Taker’s other leg to take him down. Austin wraps the Taker’s knee around the ringpost, damaging it even further. Taker responds by kicking Austin over the ring barrier into the audience. Taker grabs a chair and starts swinging wildly, but Austin is able to avoid his swings and drop toehold him into the steps. Back in the ring, Taker accidentally knocks down Earl Hebner. He tries to bounce off the ropes and trips over Earl’s prone body, tying himself in the ropes. Austin grabs a chair, but Shane McMahon runs in and takes one for the team. Ooooh. Taker unravels himself from the ropes, but Austin kick him in the nuts and delivers a Stunner. Vince senses the end is near and tries to attack with his crutch. Austin disposes of him and grabs another chair. Taker grabs the earlier chair, though, and hits Austin in the gut. He’s about to hit Austin again when X-Pac runs down and kicks the chair into his face. That buys Austin enough time to grab a camera and SMASH it into Undertaker’s head. Earl Hebner recovers and sees Taker bleeding to give Austin the win at 15:37. Number One contender Triple H attacks after the bell, but the Rock runs down and they fight all the way to the back. Taker and Austin continue to brawl until enough WWF officials come down to separate them. Austin gives Vince a Stunner to send him on his way, and Vince hasn’t been seen since. **Cough** The match was your typical Memphis-style brawl all over the building, which was the style at the time. Not bad for a first blood match. **3/4

The 411: Okay, so the big matches are overbooked, but, for the most part, the stipulations and interference made sense. Despite a sluggish few matches in the middle, the wrestling was about as good as any other show in 1999. Solid thumbs up.
Final Score:  7.5   [ Good ]