wrestling / TV Reports
The Backlash 2005 Breakdown 5.01.05
Solid wrestling sequence to start. Shelton busts out Owen Hart’s whipass springboard counter of a wristlock. Jericho slaps him in the face, triggering a playground brawl. Benjamin tries to powerbomb him off the apron, but Jericho counters to a rana. It goes back and forth until Jericho hits the bulldog. Shelton shoves Jericho to the apron, but Jericho battles his way back up to the top rope. Benjamin leaps up to the top rope a la Kurt Angle and superplexes Jericho to the mat for two! They tease a double countout off a double clothesline. Jericho dodges a Stinger Splash and gets fired up. He drop toeholds Shelton to the ropes and charges, but Shelton catches him in a Samoan Drop! ONE, TWO, THR-NO! Jericho comes back with the enzuigiri for two. He tosses Benjamin over the top, but Benjamin springboards back in with a bulldog for two. Jericho surprises him with a rollup for two. He can’t turn Benjamin over for the Walls, though, so he tries a slingshot. Benjamin lands on the ropes and jumps off. Jericho thinks he’s ready for him, but Benjamin grabs him and delivers the T-BONE! ONE, TWO, THR-Jericho’s foot is on the ropes. Jericho ducks the Leg Whip and slaps on the Walls of Jericho. Shelton…just…makes the ropes. Benjamin misses a dropkick and lands on his head, so Jericho goes for the Lionsault. Shelton gets his knees up, but Jericho steadies himself, grabs Benjamin’s legs and goes for the Walls of Jericho. Shelton rolls him up, and they counter each other until Benjamin finishes with a Jackknife Rollup for the successful defense at 14:31. ***
Wow, how can the WWE justify booking any of these teams to lose?! Regal and Romeo start out. Romeo wrestles like Owen Hart only much sloppier. Tajiri comes in with some kicks on Antonio. He busts out an Elevated Butterfly Lock. Antonio charges, but Tajiri rolls him up for the win. 1/2*
Dean attacks Tajiri before he can make a tag. Maven and Dean work in the suplex into push-ups. Lots of your typical cheap heel jobber stuff. Tajiri gets a spinning wheel kick and a tag to Regal. Regal gets a T-Bone Suplex and finishes Dean with a knee to the head. 1/2*
Tajiri gets caught again but hits Grenier with the Spinning Wheel Kick. La Res catches Regal in their corner. Regal fights out of it. He’s tough. He’s an Englishman. He puts Conway in the Regal Stretch. Tajiri and Grenier get involved, and in all the chaos Conway rolls up Regal with a handful of tights for the elimination. 3/4*
Hurricane gets a flying crossbody for two and a blockbuster. Conway throws Hurricane to the floor and gets a sort of Cactus Elbow. La Res isolates the Hurricane. Grenier gives him a backdrop into a Rock Bottom. Hurricane dodges an elbow and gets the hot tag to Rosey. Rosey overpowers La Res, but they swarm him. Finally, he plants Conway and they do the old British Bulldog “dive off your partner’s shoulders” thing with Hurricane Superfly Splashing Conway for the win and the titles at 13:44 (total time). 1/2*
Big “You screwed Matt!” chant. Benoit just tears him apart like a Kleenex at a snot party. Edge desperately reverses a corner whip, sending Benoit into a “Bret Bump.” Crowd chants “We want Matt!” Benoit avoids the spear with a drop toehold. Edge goes outside for plunder, but Benoit delivers a baseball slide. They brawl into the crowd. Did JR just say “surcease?” Back in, Benoit gets the Sharpshooter for the tap out, but as the Borg might say, “Tap outs are irrelevant.” ROLLING GERMANS! Edge falls to the floor where the ref gets a count of 8 for the first serious “nearfall.” Benoit knocks him off the apron and goes for tope, but Edge hits him right in the face with a trashcan lid. Oooh. It’s not quite Jericho’s chairshot at the RR, but it’ll work. Edge gives him another shot for good measure. It only gets a 7-count. Back in, Edge superplexes through a trash can. Both men are down for an 8-count. A ladder gets involved. Edge goes up, but Benoit catches him and delivers a GERMAN SUPLEX OFF THE LADDER! Instead of letting Edge get counted down, Benoit goes up for the Diving Headbutt off the ladder. Edge avoids it, but it doesn’t turn the tide of the match. Edge grabs his briefcase and swings at Benoit, but Benoit takes him down into the Crippler Crossface. Edge staggers to his feet and counters the Rolling Germans to an Impaler on the briefcase. Benoit gets up at nine but turns right into a spear. Benoit wobbles to his feet at nine, but Edge delivers ANOTHER SPEAR! Benoit gets up at nine again, so Edge opens his briefcase and pulls out a brick. He hits Benoit over the back of the head with it (kind of a weak shot). That’s enough to pick up the victory at 18:48. Crowd was out of it except when entertaining themselves, and I miss the days when guys would actually employ some sort of strategy rather than just escalating spots until the end. Good spots, though. ***1/4
Vis has a pretty cool new Halloween theme rip-off. So, you know, anything else Carpenter has done. I never realized Vis was so tall. Is that a Dave Schilling sign in the audience? I know that there’s a resemblance, but I’m pretty sure that’s Viscera. Kane dives off the top onto Vis on the outside. Back in, Vis comes back with a Kappou Kick and tells Trish he’s gonna burp his worm in her mole hole. That allows Kane to come back, but he goes after Trish. Viscera gets a Samoan Drop for two. A Bossman Slam gets two more. Vis clotheslines Kane over the top. Lita tries to get in the middle, but Vis pushes her aside. Viscera misses a charge and goes into the post. Trish tries to hit Kane with a chairshot, but Lita intercepts her with the crutch. Nice spot. Kane tries a top rope clothesline, but Vis catches him with a two-handed chokeslam. ONE, TWO, THR-NO! Lita slides in and gets Viscera’s attention. Vis tries to get some red-headed lovin’ but Kane intercepts him and finishes with the chokeslam at 6:08. Not exactly workrate heaven, but not as bad as you probably expected. *
–Trish is a racist.
–You guys are too sensitive. She just said that because he’s fat.
–Oh, I guess it’s okay because Trish is an IWC darling.
–She’s a heel. She’s supposed to act like that.
–Guys. It’s wrestling. It’s fake.
–I trained for three weeks at Alan Funk’s wrestling camp, so I know more about wrestling than you guys. Vince told her to say that.
–Kids were watching. What about the kids?!
–Just what wrestling needs. Another black eye.
–I’m going to wait to find out what Keller says before forming an opinion.
–Oh, that’s nothing. Harley Race said worse than that to Ron Simmons.
–This would never happen in Ring of Honor.
–Wait. Triple H said what?
There. Now you don’t need to engage in such an ultimately pointless conversation about something that doesn’t really affect you. Anyway, Vis gets sick of her bitchass and squashes her, writing Trish out for the next few weeks.
Hogan shoves Hassan back into his corner and tells him to kiss his ass. Hassan and Davairi try to doubleteam him, but you know how that goes. Hogan and Michaels get a double boot. Davairi and Michaels exchange chops. To the outside, Hogan puts some kid’s Hogan cap on Davairi and knocks his block off. Shawn comes in and gets the flying elbow and kip-up. Flying elbow! Hogan knocks Hassan off the apron, prompting the ref to push Hogan back to his corner. Hassan sneaks in while Michaels is tuning up the band and hits him with a pipe. Hassan and Davairi isolate Michaels. Michaels grabs a sleeper on Hassan, but Hassan counters to a backbreaker. Crowd chants “U.S.A.”, provoking a guy in the audience to hold up a sign that reads, “But they’re from the U.S.A.!” Michaels powers out of the Camel Clutch and drops him out of an Electric Chair. Michaels gets the HOT TAG to Hogan. Hogan cleans house, but Hassan uses the pipe on him too. ONE, TWO, THRE-KICKOUT! Hogan hulks up. Three punches. Big boot. Legdr–no. Hassan grabs Hogan’s leg. Michaels sneaks in, superkicks Davari, and Hogan falls on top for the win at 15:14. Formulaic tag with a hot crowd. I understand sending Hogan out on top (again), but they would have been better served to put Hassan and Davairi over and create a monster heel tag team. I guess they’re too busy spending that Rosey/Hurricane money. Hogan and Michaels celebrate with one of the Hulkamaniacs. ***1/4
Dicey move, following Hogan/Michaels with this. High chance of fans being burned out. Ric Flair personally introduces Triple H. Flair provides a momentary distraction. Hunter goes for the Pedigree, but Batista ducks out of it. Batista reverses a second attempt to a Batista bomb, but Hunter ducks out of that. The Game goes for a third attempt at a Pedigree, but Batista backdrops him over the top. Hmm. That just leaves the slingshot and jackknife as counters they haven’t done yet. Hunter rams Batista into the crowd barrier. Back inside, Hunter continues to target Batista’s back. Flair gets in on the act, ramming Batista into the apron behind the ref’s back. Batista battles back but runs into a spinebuster for a series of nearfalls. Batista explodes out of the corner with a clothesline to turn the tide. To the outside, he whips the challenger into the ring steps. Back in, Batista signals for the Batistabomb. Flair jumps into the ring, distracting the ref as Hunter counters the Batistabomb with a belt shot. ONE, TWO, THRE-NO! Batista gets the shoulder up. Batista backdrops out of another Pedigree, but he clotheslines the referee out of the ring. A ref bump in a Triple H match? The hell you say. PEDIGREE! Cover. No ref. Replacement ref Jack Doan runs down just as Batista catches Hunter with a spinebuster. ONE, TWO, THR-NO! Hunter comes back with a facebuster. ONE, TWO, THR-NO! Batista counters another Pedigree to a trio of corner clotheslines. Hunter gets desperate and kicks Jack Doan in the nuts. He goes for a Pedigree, but Batista counters to the slingshot. Well, it had to happen sooner or later. Hunter counters a Batistabomb with a ball shot. Batista staggers into the corner. Triple H mounts him for some punches, but Batista counters to the powerbomb as the original ref recovers and counts three! (16:23) On par with their Mania match. Not as heated, but I thought the storyline centering around the Pedigree was superior. Hunter Pedigrees the ref for his insolence. ***
Final Thoughts: I know we were in the heel area of the country tonight, but the reaction to Batista was mixed at times. That’s got to be a concern. It doesn’t help that he looks like just another placeholder until Hunter wants the belt back. They have to get him out of that mold somehow. New tag champs. Wait, Raw has tag titles? Hogan and HBK was a nice moment, but how many times can you watch Hogan pose and want to pay $35 for it? Worst thing, though, is no sex for Trish and Vis. How can you not pay that off? No classic matches, and nothing bad. Nothing terribly historic either. Benjamin and Christian look to have bright futures, though.
Mild thumbs down here.
J.D. Dunn
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