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The Survivor Series 2006 Breakdown
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Survivor Series 2006
by J.D. Dunn
Arn’s music is still so badass. It’s like Tangerine Dream meets Pink Floyd. Ross mentions Flair’s being the sole survivor in his only other elimination match, but he doesn’t mention the circumstances. Ron Simmons overpowers Mikey until Mitch drags him to the floor. Arn makes Mitch pay for it by sending him to the post but not before Simmons gets counted out at 2:03.
The ref sends Arn to the back for interfering. The faces isolate Nicky with the SS member overselling EVERYTHING! Sarge locks up Nicky in the Cobra Clutch, but the other Squad members distract the ref while Johnny hits Sarge with the Johnnykick from behind. Nicky covers to eliminate Sarge at 6:28.
Dusty drops an elbow on Nicky to eliminate him at 6:56.
Dusty tries to fight all three of the remaining Squad members at once, but Kenny rolls him up with a handful of ropes to send Rhodes home at 8:25.
Flair eliminates Mikey with a Flair Pin at 9:13.
Kenny comes in a house of fire, but Flair rolls him up with a small package at 9:51.
That leaves Johnny alone with Flair. Johnny exchanges blows with Flair but winds up tapping to the figure-four at 10:34. Just some filler to get some face time for the legends and tease the Squad’s break up. *1/2
Benoit starts dismantling Chavo early, but Chavo comes back and stomps a mudhole. Benoit applies the Crippler Crossface early, but Vicky puts Chavo’s foot on the ropes. Benoit gets distracted by Vicky, so Chavo posts him and starts working the shoulder. Nice nod to Ring of Honor and American Dragon as Chavo yells, “I’ve got a five count!” at the referee. Chavo talks trash in between kicking Benoit like a dog, but Benoit suddenly roars back with Rolling Germans. Benoit goes up, but Vicky grabs his ankle long enough for Chavo to move out of his way. Chavo hits a sloppy frogsplash. ONE, TWO, THRE-NO! Benoit kicks out. Benoit goes for the Sharpshooter, but Chavo kicks him into Vicky who was up on the apron. Chavo schoolboys Benoit for two, but Benoit rolls through into the Crippler Crossface for the win at 8:24. JBL is irate that Benoit would attack Vicky like that. **1/2
This would be Lita’s final match before focusing on her music career. There’s not what you’d call a lot of “wrestling” going on early. Lita gets two off a Russian Leg Sweep as the fans start a “She’s a crackwhore” chant. A snap suplex gets two more. Mickie’s snuggie is kind of disturbing. Lita comes off the top but misses a flying crossbody. Mickie tries to go up, but Lita counters to a sloppy backdrop. Mickie comes back with a series of kicks, including a roundhouse backkick that puts Lita down. Lita counters a rana to an over-the-shoulder facebuster and hits the LITASAULT! ONE, TWO, THR-NO! Mickie blocks a DDT and gets a couple of nearfall rollups before finally finishing Lita off with the Tornado DDT at 8:19. Lita gets pissed because the fans don’t kiss her ass on her way out the way they did with Trish Stratus. Cryme Tyme comes out with Lita’s belongings for a ‘hosale. Comedy ensues as Lita is humiliated on her way out. Hmm…new tag team humiliating Lita, whose boyfriend is one-half of the tag champs. That does not bode well for Orton & Edge’s chances tonight. This match got better as it went on. *1/2
Ross says Randy Orton has literally been on fire at the Survivor Series. Uh-huh. Hunter tries to get Kelly to strip, prompting an angry reaction from Knox. Knox argues with Hunter but spins right around into Sweet Chin Music at 0:41.
Big “CM Punk” chant from his adopted business home. Shawn and Johnny Nitro go at it next, and Shawn stops for a photo op with an unsuspecting Melina. The Hardyz work off some of that tandem ringrust on Nitro before Helms tags in. Matt starts spitting up blood, as the heels work his ribs. Punk gets the hot tag and destroys Nitro to the delight of the crowd. Anaconda Vice and there goes Nitro at 5:01.
Edge jumps Punk before he can recover, and Punk plays face-in-peril. Punk fights back against Orton but gets hit with the RKO. Michaels makes the save to break up the count, though. Edge misses a spear, enabling Punk to make the hot tag to Hunter. Hunter cleans house, triggering a big brawl. Jeff and Shawn hit stereo pescados as Hunter spinebusters Helms and tags Matt in. Twist of Fate. Swanton. Goodbye, Helms at 9:26.
Edge and Orton try to walk out, but the babyfaces run them down and drag them back to the ring. Running knee to Edge. Poetry in Motion. Sweet Chin Music. There goes Edge at 10:39.
Orton runs into the audience, but the Hardy’s catch him and toss him back in the ring. Sweet Chin Music. Pedigree. All of the faces survive at 11:34. Sure it was a burial, but it was a fun burial. **1/2
Kennedy removes the turnbuckle pads. We’ve already seen that he has Vaseline on his head to prevent bleeding. Great psychology, and the match hasn’t even started yet. Taker jumps him right away and takes him to the floor, smashing his head on the Spanish announce table. Taker beats him from pillar-to-post until Kennedy reverses a whip, sending Taker’s knee into the steps. Taker catches Kennedy in mid-air and slams him into the post, though. You wouldn’t think that would be a point of psychology in a First Blood match, but it is as Taker gives Kennedy a rabbit punch and then stomps his ribs, hoping to get Kennedy to bleed internally and spit it up for the win. That’s both sick and innovative. I love it! Back in, Taker gives Kennedy a superplex and punches the ribs again. Kennedy goes low but runs into a boot. Back to the ribs as Taker turns Kennedy around against the buckle and punches his kidneys. Kennedy goes low again (!) and falls to the floor, coughing up blood. MVP runs down and wipes off Kennedy’s mouth before the ref sees it. Of course, MVP turns on Kennedy and tosses him back to the Taker in return for Kennedy doing the same to him on Smackdown. Taker mounts Kennedy for the pummel, but Kennedy drops him on the exposed buckle. MVP sneaks in with a chair, hoping to hit Kennedy from behind, but Taker winds up taking the shot. Taker is busted open, and Kennedy pounds on the cut for the win at 9:20. After the match, Taker pummels Kennedy and DESTROYS him with a chairshot to keep his heat. Kennedy tries to crawl away, but Taker gives him a Tombstone. Stupid ending aside, I love the psychology, even if it probably didn’t come across to the live crowd. Kennedy looks completely at home with the main eventers, and he’s capitalized on the feud with Taker in a way that Randy Orton couldn’t a year ago. ***1/4
These are some random teams. Umaga goes at it with Cena before getting tossed to the floor. Finlay and Van Dam go next, but Umaga goes nuts and hits Cena with the monitor for the disqualification at 0:54. Well, someone had to be the Bad News Brown of the Series.
Finlay goes to work on Van Dam’s ribs. Test catches RVD in mid-air and delivers a rib-breaker. MVP has to ruin the nice little strategy they had built up by promptly locking in…a chinlock. Van Dam comes back with a rollup and spinkick. Another one knocks Finlay silly. I’m not sure Dave was ready for that one. Kane sneaks in and chokeslams MVP to set up the Five-Star at 5:42.
Test boots RVD to eliminate him at 5:43.
Sabu hits Test with a Tornado DDT to send him packing at 6:21.
Show chokeslams Sabu at 6:48. This is getting a bit ridiculous.
Kane and Show do that spot where they try to chokeslam each other. The Little Bastard runs in, realizes he’s at nut-level on the Big Show, and then runs out again. Funny stuff. He also passed the shillelagh to Finlay, so Fit jumps in behind the ref’s back and whacks Kane, allowing Show to finish with the chokeslam at 7:27.
Show and Finlay isolate Cena and work his ribs. They have to rush the face-in-peril segment, so Lashley gets the hot tag about thirty seconds later. Lashley gives Finlay a weird sort of overhead uranage, but Show saves the count. Finlay prepares to launch the Little Bastard like a missile, but Lashley spears Finlay, and Cena catches the leprechaun in mid-air. Show breaks up an FU as Finlay is pinned off-camera at 10:39.
Cena and Lashley doubleteam Show for a bit before Lashley spears Show into Cena’s impressive FU at 12:35. The match was way too rushed, but there were some funny touches with the leprechaun at the end. **1/4
Before the match, General Manager Teddy Long declares that if Booker is counted out or disqualified, he loses the title. Batista attacks in the aisle and pummels his highness before Booker can even disrobe. Batista goes for the Demonbomb early, but Booker rolls to the floor for a nine count. Batista blocks a neck snap on the ropes and delivers his own. Finally, Booker hits a hotshot and stomps the ribs. What’s with all the rib psychology tonight? Batista powers back with a Jackhammer for two. A Bossman slam gets two more. They brawl on the apron, and Sharmell distracts Batista just long enough for Booker to hit a thrust kick. Back in, Booker goes for a pin with his foot on the ropes. You know you’re a real heel when you put your foot on the ropes even though it has no possible way to give you any leverage. Booker locks in a loose Cobra Clutch (MOVESET~!) to slow things down. Batista boots Booker to the floor and hits a flying shoulderblock (!) for two. Booker surprises him with a Bookend, but it only gets two. Batista blocks the Scissors Kick and hits the Demonbomb! ONE, TWO, THRE-NO! Booker gets his hand on the ropes. Sharmell slips the title belt to Booker and distracts the ref. However, Book misses his swing, and Batista waffles him with the belt for the win at 13:57. These two just never seemed to click throughout their feud, and it exposed both guys as needing to be carried (or, if not carried, at least in there with an opponent that can compliment their style). This is one place where heavy booking helped give the match a storyline that the wrestlers were either unable or unwilling to provide. **
The 411: While most of the matches at least hit the average-to-good plateau, many of the booking decisions were puzzling. Orton & Edge’s team loses a shutout?! Flair wins in a 3-on-1?! What’s worse is that virtually everyone who lost, lost in a way that protected their reps except for the guys who really needed it! And what’s worse is that every major match had a cop out that left the door open for the feud to continue. Don’t worry if you miss the PPV, folks. It’s not like you’re missing the end of the story – just more filler. Try to catch the Undertaker/Kennedy match somewhere, but the rest is a pass.
Thumbs down for Survivor Series 2006.
J.D. Dunn
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