411’s WWE Raw Report 10.03.05

Hello everyone, it is I Larry Csonka subbing for Derek Martin. Derek is off for his birthday, because his girlfriend is taking him out. So of course here I am jumping into the Raw recap seat. What, this is 3 hours? Shit. Let’s get to work!

At 7:55 or so there is a countdown on USA with a bunch of clips of Raw’s beginnings and Vince, HBK and a bunch of others discussing Raw’s debut. It is a bunch of clips from the special they showed last night. HBK was on the first Raw on USA, and will be on this Raw on USA. That is cool. HAHA, they showed the “choppy, choppy your PEE PEE!” Lots of Rock clips, damn I miss that guy.

WWE Raw 10.03.05 Starts…NOW!

WWE, the power is back…

Dance to the music…

We get a ton of fireworks, and a semi-new set, with the multiple little screens surrounding the larger TRON!

FOLEY IS OUT! Looks like it is Piper’s Pit Time.

“Mrs. Foley’s little boy has come home! Home to the WEE, USA and home right here in Dallas Texas!” CHEAP POP!

He announces Roddy Piper, and calls him a true legend.

Piper cuts the music and gets a great ovation. He tells Foley that he is a fan of his. He thought he was the craziest, but he has nothing on Foley. Foley jumps off roofs for fun. Off of cages for fun. He lands on thumbtacks, Piper says he is nuts and has nothing on Foley. Then he read his new book, and Foley is seriously sick. Piper says they come here for the truth, and when is Foley coming back to the WWE?

Foley says (with loud chants) he came back last year, was better than ever but still got his ass kicked, and if he were to come back he would need a really good reason.

Piper says there are 12,000 good reasons right here and leads the crowd in chants.

Orton is here with Cowboy Bob in a neck brace!

Foley has them cut the music. Foley says it is never good to see him, but these are not normal circumstances. He tells him to not be concerned with his legend, but to be concerned with the Undertaker’s legend that will take him out this weekend.

Orton says he is Randy Orton, and he can do and get away with what ever he wants. He heads to the ring. It is all good Mick, I am not here to say anything to you, I want to talk to Roddy Piper.

Piper says he looks great, and Orton says he will DROP HIM! If it wasn’t for Cowboy Bob, there would be NO PIPER! His dad got pain and suffering and Piper got all the glory, and it makes him sick. His father is classy, and he was raised the right way…and pushed Piper.

They brawl and Foley pulls them apart. Cowboy Bob nails Foley! RKO on Piper! RKO on Foley!

Ross says that was disrespectful. He says the Iron Man Match is next, and we see highlights of HBK vs. Angle from WM XXI and then Vengeance.

Commercial time.

We are back as we see highlights of what happened on Piper’s Pit.

Bishoff and Teddy Long talk in the back. Eric yells at Teddy for having the Orton’s show up. Teddy says to drop the bass, because he had nothing to do with it. Eric says it BEST not happen again, or he will give them a RAW moment to remember, got that playa?

We see all of the legends at ringside.

Match #1 30-Minute Iron Man Match: HBK vs. Kurt Angle

HBK charges in and here we go! Rights by HBK, and to their feet. Chops to Angle now and HBK slams him don. Cover for 2. Chops again and Angle is down. More chops and off the ropes, reversal and HBK with a boot and neck breaker to Angle for 2. Angle tossed over the top to the floor. HBK follows and rams Angle to the barrier. Back in the ring and HBK up top…double ax handle smash to Angle gets 2. More chops by HBK, but Angle with a boot. Uppercut to HBK and then rights in the corner. Off the ropes, reversal and a sleeper by HBK. Angle fights and gets a backdrop suplex. More uppercuts by Angle, and then boots to HBK. Knee lift to HBK and then rights by Angle. Picks HBK up and slams him down and covers for 2. Another cover for 2. Rear chin lock by Angle now. HBK tries to battle out, gets to his feet and is forced back to a knee. Jawbreaker by HBK to escape. Chops by HBK now and off the ropes, reversal and a face jam by HBK. HBK dumps a charging Angle to the floor! Baseball slide by HBK misses…ANGLE SLAM on the floor to HBK! Angle back in the ring, HBK backing and Angle is in control. Boots by Angle in the corner and HBK is down again. Rights by HBK, but Angle fights back. Angle grabs HBK…CORNER POWERBOMB to HBK for 2! More uppercuts by Angle, HBK set up top…they battle and HBK with rights knocks him off. HBK up now… Angle runs up…TOP ROPE ANGLE SLAM gets the first pin @ 8:18. 1-0 Angle.

We head to a commercial at 8:30.

We are back @ 12:03 with Angle still in control and up 1-0. Rear choke by Angle and HBK fights to his feet. Rammed to the corner and HBK fights to escape. He does and chops away at Angle. Irish whip and HBK misses a charge and eats the steel post! GERMAN by Angle gets 2! Picks up HBK and delivers some rights. HBK is down and gets a suplex for 2. Boots by HBK now and then chops to Angle. Hard Irish whip by Angle and HBK is in pain. Angle Slam, countered into a sunset flip by HBK, reversed into an Ankle lock by HBK escapes and gets a roll up for the pin @ 15:00! Tied 1-1.

Small package by HBK gets 2. Uppercuts by Angle and HBK to the floor. Angle chases and rams HBK off the steps. Back in the ring and Angle covers for 2. Body scissors by Angle now and continues to work the back. HBK tries to battle out, but Angle gets 2 near falls on HBK. HBK turns and BITES ANGLE! That’s effective. HBK to his feet ad they exchange rights. Angle tries a suplex, blocked and reversals and a roll up by HBK gets 2. ANKLE LOCK BY ANGLE! HBK fights… Angle drops and grapevines the leg! HBK fights…and taps @ 18:45. Angle is up 2-1.

Commercial time @ 19:04.

We are back @ 22:17 with Angle working on the leg of HBK. HBK tries to escape and does. Rights by HBK and Angle fires right back. HBK with STIFF shots now and chops. Angle sweeps the leg and gets a single leg grapevine. HBK tries to fight his way out with rights and does. Uppercuts by Angle and then rights. Rights by HBK now and then a BITCH SLAP! Chop snow, off the ropes and a reversal…HBK flying forearm. KIP UP! Atomic drop to Angle. Clothesline and a slam. Another slam. HBK goes up top…FLYING ELBOW DROP! Tune it up! SUPERKICK! 1…2…3! HBK ties it up @ 25:18.

Angle rolls to the floor and HBK slowly follows. HBL tosses Angle back in the ring. Chops by HBK in the corner. Irish whip by Angle and HBK does the corner flip. ANGLE SLAM gets 2! Angle is pissed! Rights by Angle, off the ropes…boot by HBK. Angle Slam try…DDT BY HBK! 2:50 left now. HBK gets the cover 1…2…NO! Another cover gets 2! Chops by HBK as both men get to their feet. Irish whip reversed and HBK up top…MOONSAULT to Angle but Angle gets the ANKLE LOCK OUT OF IT! 1:30 left and HBK fights for his life! HBK tries everything but Angle holds on. Angle drops doen with the grapevine with under a minute left! HBK fights…he tries to reverse it and kicks at Angle’s head and escapes! Angle grabs it again! 10 seconds! Angle rammed into the ref…SUPERKICK but the time is up!

Lillian says that it is a DRAW! We get “bullshit” chants now. HBK gets the mic and says, “No way! Let’s go to sudden death!”

Angle is on the floor and stares him down…then walks away.

Time Limit Draw @ 30:00 via 2-2 tie

JR, Coach and Lawler recap the match. HBK goes to the legends and we see DR. DEATH! KOKO has a new parrot!

Later we will see Stone Cold! They hype the rest of the card, and HHH and Flair vs. Carlito and Masters.

We get highlights of John Cena at the hip hop awards. The hip hop peeps put over Cena.

Commercial time.

We are back as Lillian announces Kevin Voh Erich! SWEET! He held up the claw!

Vince is in the back and Eric needs to talk to him. Eric has an idea for his match with Cena, a no DQ match. Vince says no, he is a competitor tonight, not the GM, and Vince is in charge tonight. Eric calls him VINCE. He doesn’t care anymore. Eric knows he was hired to be embarrassed and Vince can make a self destruction of Bishoff DVD. He calls Vince sick. Vince says no one knows how sick and or twisted and perverted he can be! Vince has a crowd waiting on his presence. This is MONDAY NIGHT RAW!

Lillian announces Vince with a LONG pre-written intro that says Vince invented the universe, and is well endowed.

POWER WALKING VINCE!

Vince says it is homecoming! Back on USA! Back where things are uncensored, where all hell can break loose at anytime. Uncensored for sure. He remembers one day, Feb. 8th 1998. That was the night that he beat the holy hell out of Stone Cold Steve Austin. He says we all remember it like he does. Austin is scheduled later, and Vince’s favorite Raw moment is that day. We see Vince pinning Austin as he puts over his physique. That was one of his favorite moments. He has another. The time he had him arrested.

When you hear the glass, what your ass Vince…AUSTIN IS HERE!

Vince acts happy to see him, I don’t believe that for some reason. Austin asks is he was having fun at Austin’s expense. He doesn’t believe him. Vince says they never saw eye to eye, and Austin agrees. He says not to be uptight, nervous or rattled. After all Vince did make him right? Oh, the “what” chants are back. Austin asks if all he said was true, and Vince says he was having fun. Austin laughs…and says it WASN’T funny. He remembers things a bit different and has his OWN highlights. We see Austin attacking Vince in the hospital. BED PAN ATTACK! ENNEMA! Austin says we showed the world how sick and twisted Vince was then. Vince said he was embarrassed. Austin says Vince is making him sick. We see the time Austin kidnapped Vince and rolled him to the ring with the fake gun and made Vince piss his pants. He also makes fun of his gray hair. Austin asks if he will piss his pants again? Vince says he lost control that evening. Austin has one more to show. BEER TRUCK ATTACK! Austin says he could have competed in the swimming Olympics, and that Vince is pathetic. Vince wants to start all over again here on USA. Vince would never embarrass Austin. Austin asks if he wants to be friends? Vince says this is a hell of a show and he has to go and direct things, so he is leaving. Austin say snot to leave, he has something to show him. STUNNER! Ina shocking turn of events, Austin is drinking some beer!

HERE COMES THE MONEEEEEEEEEEEY! SHANE O MAC IS HERE! HOLY SHIT!

Shane hits the ring. STUNNER for Shane! Welcome back Shane.

STEPH IS HERE! She looks “breast a licious.” She asks Austin who he thinks he is? This is USA, their show! Austin couldn’t hear her. She says this is OUR show, this is Raw and this is USA. He understands. She says she is Stephanie McMahon! Austin wants to ask her a few questions. What fragrance are you wearing? She grabs his arm…bad move. Austin says she is flirting with him. He gets it, hey, I am out here STUNNIN people and maybe she wants to kiss him. She slaps him. Ok, he thinks she is playing hard to get. He wishes she hadn’t doen that…but then again…I’m glad you did…STUNNER!

Is Linda next? YES SHE IS! The old school WM music hits! She says what do you think you are doing? Look at this habit. This carnage in the ring is her family. She has spent 2 years bringing the family back together. Austin says Vince is trash. Linda agrees. But her son, what about him? Trash as well. Ok, she agrees. What about Steph? He has to say that poor Steph is a precious piece of trash. Austin says they were causing a disturbance where he got his start. He is here to raise hell, what did she expect? She thinks she owes the McMahon family an apology. He just did his job, and she want an apology? Ok, **checks his watch** ok, you’re a classy lady, I apologize. She thanks him. Austin says while you are out here, I want to leave these people a moment to remember, with them all alone in the ring. He wants a kiss son the cheek. He wants to leave his eyes open, cause she knocks his lights out. He changes his mind. He wants to give them something to remember. “Whaddya sat sweetheart? Vince is taking a nap? Let’s cut to the chase and DRINK SOME BEER!” He gives her a beer and they drink. Austin loves any drink thrown his way. He tells her to keep drinking, cause he has plenty. Beer #2 for Linda. He spills some beer on her and raises her hand. He forget to say thanks…STUNNER to Linda!

**Insert about 136 “WHAT” chants into that segment as well.**

Commercial time.

We are back as Vince is helped to his Limo. Todd Grisham catches up with him and Vince says someone will pay and get fired over this.

Lita is GLORIOUSLY whored out this evening.

Match #2 Loser Leaves Raw Money In The Bank Ladder Match: Edge vs. Matt Hardy

Edge attacks Matt and runs for the ladder…Matt chases and pulls him down. Side Effect to Edge. Matt closes Edge’s head in the ladder and leg drops him. Now he squeezes Edge in the ladder. Ladder set in the corner and Matt whips him into the ladder. Matt charges but Edge drop toe holds him into the ladder. Suplex by Edge sends Matt onto the ladder. Edge tries to climb now…Matt tries to pull him down and Edge nails him. Flap jack by Edge, but Matt grabs the ladder and climbs but Edge has to pull him down. Edge sets the ladder on the top rope in the corner…Irish whip and a reversal and then Matt gets rammed face first into the ladder. Edge gets another ladder and climbs. Matt is up and pulls him down. Edge rammed to the corner and Matt grabs the ladder and nails Edge in the gut with it. Matt tries a suplex on the ladder…and Edge reverses and gets the front suplex to Matt on the ladder. Edge sets up the ladder again and climbs. Matt to his feet and climbs as well. Nails Edge and tosses Edge into the LADDER in the corner! Edge also bounced off and nailed the ladder and Matt fell off and hot shotted off the top rope!

Commercial time @ 5:30.

We are back @ 8:32 as they are on the floor with tables! Matt rams Edge to the barrier. Matt grabs a ladder and nails Edge in the head! Matt climbs as Edge fell over the barrier…on the ladder…CROSS BODY to Edge! Matt goes back to the ring and Lita tries to stop him. Matt slams her down and she begs off. He grabs her and goes for a powerbomb…but Edge kills Matt with a kendo stick! Knees to Matt and lays him on the table on the floor. Edge up top…SPLASH to Matt through the table! Edge climbs back into the ring and starts climbing the ladder. There are two ladders side by side now, apparently happened during commercial. Matt is in and climbs the other ladder. TWIST OF FATE OFF OF THE LADDERS! Edge rolls all the way to the floor. Matt starts to climb…Lita in and nails Matt repeatedly with the kendo stick! Matt falls and then grabs the stick! He tosses her to the corner. Matt climbs…and Lita pulls the ladder away and Matt is hanging! Edge is in and grabs his feet and Matt falls over the top rope! Edge ties Matt in the ropes! Lita with a crucifix on Matt as well as Edge climbs…and WINS!

Winner: Edge @ 13:40

Edge and Lita stare Matt down as Matt lays on the mat. Matt leaves as security is out and they wave BUH BYE!

JR and team hype Hogan and the rest of the card.

Commercial time!

We are back as Matt Hardy is being escorted out of the arena.

Trish and Ashley help each other get dressed. Trish says they got this. Wow, lesbian overtones. Oh god, Mae Young! NO! Mae then hits on Dibiase, he offers her $2000 to keep it on! Dibiase, Snuka and Duggan are afraid of her! Snuka takes the money from Dibiase and chases after Mae Young while saying, “I’ll pay you back brudda!” Ewwww.

Maria, dressed as a homecoming queen is with Ric Flair! Woooooooo! Flair says that they will talk about their homecoming later. But tonight is about the game! He came back to the WWE a broken man, but because of HHH he has risen to the IC Title! Masters and Carlito have to deal with he and HHH tonight! **Flair dance** Woooooo!

HHH returns…NEXT!

Commercial time!

We are back!

HUGE pop for HHH. Yeah, NO ONE cares about him.

Match #3 Ric Flair © and HHH vs. Carlito and Chris Masters

Carlito and Masters attack! HHH takes care of Masters and Flair tossed Carlito. HHH chants as he calls on Carlito and Masters. Carlito tries to attack HHH but HH has some rights for him. Tag to Flair and they double chop Carlito! DOUBLE STRUT! Chops to Masters!

We head to a commercial @ 1:25.

We are back @ 4:30 with Carlito in control of Flair. Carlito bites his apple, spits it in Flair’s face and then locks in the FIGURE FOUR! Shades of CARLOS COLON! Flair down in his back and the ref counts 2. Flair tries to escape but HHH come sin to drop the leg on Carlito. Flair is in pain and Carlito with boots to Flair. He works the leg and then slaps Flair repeatedly. Chops by Flair. He battles back and off the ropes, but Carlito with a spinebuster on Flair. Carlito up top…Flair catches him! Tosses him off, tries to tag HHH…FLAIR FLOP! Masters is in and calls for the Masterlock…LOW BLOW BY FLAIR! Carlito in, and a tag to HHH! Backdrop to Carlito. Eye poke then to HHH but off the ropes and HHH with the Harley Race high knee! One for Masters! AA spinebuster to Carlito. One to Masters! HHH smiles…and here’s SLEDGY! He stalks Masters…but Carlito nails him from behind. Boot to Carlito…PEDIGREE to Carlito as Flair chop blocks Masters and that is all.

Winners: Flair and HHH @ 10:04 via pin

They hug after the match and HHH raises Flair’s hand. SLEDGY SHOT TO FLAIR! DAMN YOU HHH! Flair is busted wide open! HHH yells at Flair and beats him down bloodying him more. He slaps the shit out of Flair now. HHH picks him up…and punches him more while screaming, “What’s wrong with you?” Another sledgy shot by HHH. Flair is bleeding like a MO FO! To the floor and Flair is rammed off the steps. HHH beats him down in front of all the legends. HHH chokes him out as we head to commercial.

We are back as we get replays of HHH about killing Flair. During the break HHH took Flair backstage and beat him down more. Michael Hayes tried to stop him but to no avail. HHH is still beating Flair down and says no one has the balls to stop him. HHH says he lets nothing slide and Flair should have known better. HHH slams him head first on a table. HHH says to remember that he is the game, the king of kings…he is HHH. He slams Flair onto a white limo that is covered in blood now and then slaps him shitless. He calls Flair a Limo ridin piece of crap. He tosses him in the limo and says to, “get the piece of crap out of MY building.”

Commercial time.

We are back as they pimp the rest of the show.

All of the legends are in the ring and DUSTY has the mic! Dusty says it is an honor to be here. He remembers beating on some of their noggins. He puts over all of these guys, and then talks about Race.

CONWAY IS HERE!

I want a legend beat down!

Conway thinks he is at a nursing home. What’s that smell? Someone didn’t change their depends! HA! He says this isn’t a funeral, and they all look half dead. He says they need to get on their bus and go back to their old folks homes. He gets in Dusty’s face, and Dusty doesn’t appreciate it! The table he is eating off of was built by these legends. Without us, you would have no food.

Dusty tries to talk about Race, and then nails Conway. FLIP FLOP AND FLY! CLAW FROM VON ERICH! THE CLAW OWNS YOU! Snuka goes up top! SUPERFLY SPLASH! LEGEND-OWNED!

Commercial time.

We are back as we now get the T&A portion of the show.

Match #4 Bra and Panties Match: Trish and Ashley vs. Victoria, Candace, Torrie and her dog

PMS 2k5 attack at the bell and start to strip Ashley. Pink Bra for those keeping score at home. Ashley tries to fight them off, badly and now Victoria is stripped to her red bra. Trish nails Victoria and Candace and Torrie take control. Trish and Ashley will have none of that and more bras. They boot away at Torrie and Candace and then go for the pants. They fight back and we get stereo dropkicks from Trish and Ashley, well, almost. Victoria back in and Trish will try the corner RANA, and get it. Trish takes off her pants and tosses her to the floor. Dropkick by Torrie. Ashley almost takes off ALL of Candace’s pants, nice. Hot shot to Torrie…she loses her pants and that is all.

Winner: Trish and Ashley @ 3:50 via stripping

Angle tells Eric that he saw Mr. Kennedy…Kennedy and is concerned about SD guys. Eric says not to worry, and since Vince is gone he is making his match with Cena a NO DQ match. He wants Kurt to watch the match at ringside, so that he can win the title for one night and then give it to Angle.

Commercial time.

We are back as Cole and Tazz are at their announce table! They hype the special SD match and Teddy Long is in the ring as they announce the competitors.

JBL has his limo back, good on him!

I am shocked that they are making Batista face his best friend Eddie tonight!

Teddy joins the booth.

Match #5 SD Feature Match: Rey Mysterio, Chris Benoit © and Batista © vs. JBL, Christian and Eddie Guerrero

JBL and Batista to start…wait, Bishoff is out! He says that Vince wanted this match, but Vince is gone. He is in charge, and this is RAW, not SD. The Raw audience doesn’t want the second rate match. It’s lights out and the lights do go out. Bishoff makes fun of them and says to go to commercial.

Winners: None

Mean Gene is in the ring to intro…Hogan brother.

Gene talks about Summerslam and the Hogan Knows Best show. Hogan asks if we can feel Hulkamania. He says HBK gave him a run for his money and he’d do it again. As far as his second match, um, you didn’t beat the Rock dude. Anyway, there was so much going on and he saw one man, one man that brother…”Austin chants” well ya know something Mean Gene, what if Hogan faced Austin?

He poses.

We are back from commercial.

Match #6 NO DQ WWE Title Match: Eric Bishoff w/ Kurt Angle vs. John Cena ©

Angle grabs a seat and here we go.

Bishoff hops around, tries to kick Cena but he catches him and nails him with a right. Another right to Bishoff. Cena grabs him and Angle then grabs Cena and Cena tosses him off the apron. Kicks by Bishoff and Cena is down. Cena is up and slams Bishoff. 5-knuckle shuffle. FU coming…Angle in and then Bishoff low blows Cena. Bishoff covers for 1. Angle has a chair…misses and it bounces off the ropes and he hit himself. Nice. Bishoff tries to get the chair, but Cena stops him. FU to Bishoff. 1…2…3.

Winner: John Cena @ 2:48 via pin

Angle is back in and he and Cena go at it. Teddy Long is out! He would hate to be a negative influence, and since Eric embarrassed SD, it is on GANGSTA STYLE!

SD INVADES! KENNEDY IS HERE! They beat down Cena and Angle. Batista grabs Bishoff…here comes the Raw troops! It’s a mad brawl and we fade out…

Thanks for joining 411 for the live coverage tonight!