You Tubular: Tekno Team 2000

I’m thinking it’s about time I did a tag team, so why not pick a team way ahead of its time. I couldn’t find many matches, but lets say I’m resting on my laurels from last week on the plethora of Adam Bomb matches.

Tekno Team 2000 was comprised of Erik Watts as Troy and Chad Fortune as Travis because those names are super-gay…uh, cutting edge techno. They wore silver smocks and tights pants to show how gay they were…uh, what cyberpunks they were.

Watts is the son of Bill Watts and has spent time in ECW, WCW and TNA. Chad Fortune retired from wrestling and currently drives the Superman monster truck.

Tekno Team 2000 vs. John Crystal and Mike Khoury
Video Length: 4:44
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This is their debut from “RAW” on June 12, 1995. Vince McMahon and Jerry Lawler on commentary are more interested in the wigged out promo against rock music that Bob Backlund just gave. Vince says he’ll go to Washington and put the chicken wing on Bill Clinton. Not if he eats it first. Lawler then mentions a fan in the stands without his shirt on, but Vince didn’t see it and thinks Lawler is puzzled by the wrestlers having their shirts off. And that tells you how interesting the match is.

Troy arm drags Khoury a few times and he tags out to Crystal. He backs Troy into the corner and bitch slaps him. Well, if you look like one…They do what I would generously call a crisscross, because it’s just them walking back and forth, that ends with Troy punching Crystal in the eye. Troy works an armbar on the mat. Tag to Travis, who comes off the top rope with a double axe handle to the arm. Vince acts like it’s the greatest thing since sliced bread, but not sliced bread #2. Travis works the arm, but gets his hair pulled. He reverses a whip and backdrops Crystal. Tag to Troy. They do a pretty neat double leapfrog on Crystal. Troy hip tosses him, then hip tosses Travis on top of Crystal. You would think that would be the finish, but you’d be wrong. Troy goes into the ropes and Khoury kicks him, so Troy busts him one. Crystal attacks from behind and tags Khoury. They try a tandem clothesline, but Troy ducks under and double clotheslines them. Tag to Travis. They hit double windmill kicks on Crystal, then a double back elbow to Khoury. Crystal gets dropkicked to the floor. Troy body slams Crystal and Travis gets the pin off of the turnaround top rope cross body, which was also Battle Kat’s finisher oddly enough. It was just move, move, move as they hadn’t blended as a team yet. I also thought they were working a bit too edgy for babyfaces of the period. ¾*

Tekno Team 2000 vs. The Smoking Gunns
Video Length: 5:59
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The Body Donnas, Skip and Zip, are sitting in on commentary. The Smoking Gunns are past their gay cowboy phase and into their gay redneck phase. With that haircut, Billy looks like Zack Morris. He starts with Troy. They do a crisscross sequence that ends with Troy getting a drop toehold. He segues into a wristlock. Billy reverses and gets the Rocker Dropper. He wasn’t famous yet, so it wasn’t the Famesser. Bart comes in to work a headlock. Troy fights into his corner and Travis makes the blind tag. They do the double leapfrog. Bart ducks the double clothesline, but gets caught with double big boots. Travis covers for two. He works the arm and tags Troy. He works the arm. Tag back. There is some miscommunication, but Troy eventually catapults Travis into the corner to splash Bart. He covers for two. Bart reverses a whip and hangs Travis out to dry on the top rope. Billy tags in and stomps a mud hole in Travis. See, a mud hole will make him dirty and wet, so we’ll just have to hang him out to dry again. Billy gets a body slam into an elbow drop for two. Tag to Bart. He drops a series of elbows and covers for two. Tag to Billy. He misses a Stinger Splash and knocks himself cold. Troy tags in and trades punches with Billy and Bart. Everyone brawls. Billy dumps Travis to the floor. Troy is pinned off of the back suplex, neckbreaker slam combo. I thought that would be a lot better, but it was a bit disjointed and never really went anywhere. * ¼

Easter Egg!

Erik Watts vs. Arn Anderson
Video Length: 10 minutes
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This is from “The Main Event” on April 11, 1993. With his daddy booking, Erik was immediately pushed into a feud with the Enforcer to get him over. They fight over a lockup to start. Arn backs Erik into the ropes and breaks. They do a wristlock reversal sequence. Anderson takes Watts to the mat, but he comes back up with a heel trip. Anderson kicks him into the corner. Anderson gets a hammerlock. Watts turns into it for an amateur style take down and works the armbar. Arn elbows out and scores a snapmare. They trade blows, Watts gets Anderson down, but takes too long teasing the STF and Anderson kicks out of it. Arn bitch slaps him. That seems to be a recurring theme. Anderson pounds him in the corner. Arn works the arm some more. Watts drops down into a single leg pickup and kicks the thigh. He goes to a knee bar. Anderson uses his other leg to flip Watts back and kicks him in the throat. Anderson hooks a hammerlock on the mat and drops some knees on the arm. Watts fights out, but is kicked while going for the STF again. Commercial.

Back from break, Arn blocks a sunset flip to smack Watts in the face. Anderson works an armbar. Watts punches out, but is elbowed on a backdrop try. Arn covers for two. He goes back to the arm. Watts fights out again, but showboats allowing Anderson to heabutt the gut. Anderson hits a jawbreaker and covers for two. He chokes Watts out. He rakes his eyes across the top rope. Arn works some shoulder blocks in the ropes. Watts scores two knee lifts and makes a cover. Watts goes for the leg, but Anderson shoves him off. Arn gets a snapmare, but misses a knee drop. Watts is just about to turn Arn over for the STF when Bobby Eaton flies in for the DQ. AA is not happy. Ric Flair could get three stars out of a broomstick, Arn can do it with a mop handle. ***

Chad Fortune drives the Superman truck in Rosemont, Ill.
Video Length: 1:33
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This is from the end of his routine. I like how they have the cape draped over the truck bed. Fortune ramps over some crushed cars then does some donuts. He ramps over some more crushed cars. More donuts. He ramps a big mound of dirt. He drives around some. They score it a 28. It’s monster trucks. How the hell do you rate that? NR

Super Easter Egg not that much related!

The New Breed vs. The Armstrongs
Video Length: 10:01
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The New Breed were Johnny Punch, Sean Royal and Chris Champion. They claimed to be from 2002 where Dusty Rhodes was President. The way George W. Bush acted and talked sometimes, I wondered. The New Breed were vaguely similar to Tekno Team 2000 in basic gimmick. The Armstrong combo here is father Bob and son Brad.

We JIP to Brad working an armbar on Champion. Champion breaks by pulling the hair. Brad comes off the ropes with a cross body for two. Brad works an armbar. Royal runs in, but is caught in the armbar. I guess that’s good enough for a tag. Royal backs Brad into the ropes for some shoulder blocks. He gets a hip toss off of a whip and follows with a dropkick. He misses an elbow drop and we go back to the armbar. Tag to Bob, but they go to commercial and we never actually see him wrestle.

Back from break, Royal gets a scoop slam to try and break the armbar, but Brad holds on. Royal whips out of it and Champion knees Brad in the back. Tag to Champion. He body slam Brad and then rolls him over for a diving headbutt to the small of the back. Champion works over the back. He gets a big dropkick and drops an elbow for two. Tag to Royal, who keeps on the back. Royal gets a delayed suplex and then tags Champion. Royal slams Champion on top of Brad with a leg drop for two. Champion hits a clothesline. They keep dedicating moves to Tony Schiavone. Maybe he’s the veep in their time. Champion scores a knee lift. He then lets Brad crawl to his corner for a second before cutting him off. Tag to Royal for a Hart Attack clothesline. Royal whips Armstrong into the corner. He dives out of the way of a charge and Royal is hung up in the ropes. They slug it out. Brad thinks he has the easy tag, but Royal waistlocks him and drags Brad to his corner. He throws him to the floor. Champion comes off the top to the outside with a double axe handle to the back. Champion throws Brad back in, but he gets a surprise sunset flip for two. Royal goes to a headlock. Brad tries to back him into his corner. He and his dad just brush fingers, but Champion had the ref distracted. Teddy Long forces Bob out of the ring. This allows double teaming by the New Breed. Royal chokes Brad on the ropes and hits a fist drop for two. I would like to mention that Long is rocking a mighty skullet. Brad fights back on Champion and lunges to tag Bob. I have no idea what the hell Bob is doing. It looks like he learned karate from Superstar Billy Graham. Everyone fights. Brad tries to pin Royal, both illegal, but time runs out. You would think being from the future; the New Breed would have seen that coming. They continue to fight. New Breed gets suplex with a cross body on Brad. Bob makes the save. That has to be the longest heat segment I’ve ever seen on someone. That might have been due to Bob’s limitations than anything else there. **

The 411: Probably nothing broke kayfabe more than the idea of a tag team from the future. While the New Breed took this to a ludicrous level, Tekno Team 2000 didn’t look or act much different from Brian Kendrick and Paul London when they were together. Then again, I guess that was ten years down the road. So these future teams are now nothing more than a time capsule and a long ago memory.
Final Score:  4.0   [ Poor ]