The Name on the Marquee: WWF Superstars of Wrestling (09.13.86)

-Time for Episode #2!

-We’re still in Providence, RI. Aired September 13, 1986.

-Your hosts are Vince McMahon, Bruno Sammartino, and Jesse “The Body” Ventura.

SIVI AFI vs. “Mister Wonderful” PAUL ORNDORFF (with Bobby Heenan)
-Orndorff comes to the ring to “Real American,” just to taunt the fans. Vince’s sickened “How DARE he!” is darned funny. Jesse demands credit for all the months he spent predicting that the REAL Mister Wonderful would emerge. Insert promo sees Orndorff demanding a shot at the World Title!

-Lock-up to start and Orndorff cheap-shots Afi for the early advantage. Series of punches by Orndorff, but Afi counters a turnbuckle shot to daze him. Irish whip by Afi, but Orndorff blocks a charge with the raised boot. Afi dodges a dropkick and lights into Orndorff with chops and punches. He goes to the top rope but Orndorff dodges the flying bodypress and Afi crashes into the mat. Orndorff sympathetically helps him back to his feet…then clotheslines him and follows with a piledriver as a nod to you-know-who. Orndorff takes the victory and celebrates by posing to “Real American.”

UPDATE
-We take a look back at the coronation of Handsome Harley Race. He wants the World Title!

SIKA (with King Curtis) vs. DON DRIGGERS
-Sika cuts off the ring intros with a quick attack. He chokes the hell out of Driggers and referee Danny Davis gives him some time before finally applying the count. Another insert promo by King Curtis, where he says that Sika wants the World Title! There’s a lot of that going around. Sika attacks the eyes and Danny Davis again doesn’t bother with a reprimand. Fallaway slam gives Sika the victory.

-Ken Resnick lets Boston know about the next Boston Garden show. The mysterious Piper Machine will be making his debut. Randy Savage arrives and tells Resnick, “You pretend you’re Jack Tunney…no, wait, you’d better not, because I’d be spitting in your face!” He gripes about the rematch against George Steele and promises a surprise for George Steele and Captain Lou Albano.

ISLANDERS vs. MOONDOGS
-They’re not Haku & Tama just yet. They’re still using their maiden names, King Tonga & Tonga Kid, but since the shorter names are easier to type, I’ll be using those. Haku & Rex start. Rex gets an arm wringer but Haku reverses, only to eat a shoulderblock. Elbow off the ropes takes down Rex. Spot & Tama tag in. Spot gets chopped down and we randomly cut to another shitty promo from Honky Tonk Man, Version 1. He promises to avenge what Paul Orndorff did to “my best friend, Hulk Hogan!” Back to the match and Haku chops Rex and dropkicks him down. Moondogs are rammed into each other and a crescent kick by Haku takes Rex down. Slam by Haku and a top rope splash by Tama give the Islanders the win.

RANDY “Macho Man” SAVAGE (Intercontinental Champion, with Elizabeth) vs. TROY MARTIN
-Well, I’ll be damned, it’s Target Employee of the Month and former ECW Champion Shane Douglas! And believe it or not, this isn’t our only pre-stardom jobber this week. Savage takes Martin down and does some amateur wrestling to keep him down. Pedro Morales cuts a totally incoherent promo challenging Savage to a title match. Back to action, Martin is on the floor and on the receiving end of a top rope double-axehandle. Savage sends him over the barricade and beats the crap out of him while surrounded by fans, which is a weird prescient moment. Savage takes him back in the ring and drops the elbow for the win. Post-match, Martin grabs the microphone and talks about the tradition of Johnny K-9, Johnny Rodz, Iron Mike Sharpe, and Pete Dougherty, then shocks the fans by saying they can kiss his ass.

PIPER’S PIT
-“The boss is back!” Piper declares to thunderous applause. Piper introduces his guest, Ken Resnick, but Adrian Adonis immediately interrupts, bringing Jimmy Hart & Cowboy Bob Orton. Adonis calls him Judas and says that watching Piper “is like watching ‘MASH’ three times a night.” Weird that 23 years later, you can still watch ‘MASH’ eight times a day. He challenges Piper to a one-on-one debate. Piper tells him to sit down. Adrian obliges and falls right on his ass when Piper pulls the chair away behind him.

THE MACHINES vs. RICK HUNTER, JJ JACKSON, & AL NAVARRO
-Super Machine & Navarro start, but Jackson immediately tags in and gets pounded down. Snapmare and in comes Big Machine with a clothesline off the ropes. Another clothesline and a shot into the turnbuckle, and Super Machine returns with a shot to the chest. Giant Machine tags in, fires a clothesline, and gets the pin. Even with a mask hiding his face, you can tell Andre’s in a lot of pain here.

BRITISH BULLDOGS (Tag Team Champions, with Captain Lou Albano) vs. LES THORNTON & JACK FOLEY
-Jack Foley of “Bloomington, IN” is, of course, future best-selling author and ass-in-seat-putting expert Mick Foley. Davey Boy & Thornton start. Arm wringer by Thornton and Davey Boy flips and turns his way out of it. Thornton kicks him away and fires a forearm at him. Davey Boy moneyflips him and they fight for a roll-up. Davey Boy gets a victory roll for two and Foley finally tags in. Dynamite comes in and drops him with a snap suplex. Double underhook suplex and a backbreaker by Dynamite and a falling headbutt. Davey Boy comes back and gets the running powerslam and the delayed suplex for two. Front facelock, but Foley punches out and goes for the eyes. Elbow is no-sold and Foley gets headbutted down to the mat. Dynamite returns with a lariat that nearly takes Foley’s head off. Davey Boy returns and plants Foley on the top rope. Dynamite brings him down to earth with a back suplex for the three-count. Better things would come for Foley.

-Great exchange by Vince & Jesse post-match:

JESSE: Captain Lou isn’t the one teaching these guys how to do moves like that!
VINCE: I don’t know about that. Have you ever seen Captain Lou Albano’s top-rope dropkick? It’s devastating!

-The Machines promote their new partner Piper Machine. George Steele suddenly arrives and vows that Randy Savage “will play MY game! No rules! You lose!”

That’s the show for this week, and this is the Game Show Utopia plug for this week. Once again, if you want to check out these “Superstars” episodes I’m recapping, go to this guy.

The 411: All I really have to say this week is how much I love the idea that this show aired in September and we saw the build-up for two Wrestlemania matches with Danny Davis and the Piper-Adonis showdown.
Final Score:  5.6   [ Not So Good ]