411’s WWE Smackdown Report 02.13.09

Welcome to 411’s Weekly Smackdown Report. I am JP Truss your interim play-by-play man for Smackdown!

Tonight Jeff Hardy returns to face his older brother Matt Hardy for the first time since the Royal Rumble! And, with No Way Out this Sunday, we have a Fatal Four Way main event with Triple H, Big Show, Kozlov, and The Undertaker! Cue the intro!

J.R. and Tazz are live from Fresno, California!

Edge and Vickie Speaks!

No pyro? You can tell by Edge’s face that someone’s screwed up.

Vickie hands Edge the mic and he begins whining about the Elimination Chamber. Edge then explains that last week he suffered a neck injury at the hands of the Undertaker in last week’s main event. How did it happen? Because his “tag team partner” Big Show punched him in the face. Despite the fans enjoying that, Edge proclaims he enjoys that he is still WWE Champion and that he has the hottest chick (Wait? What?!) Vickie Guerrero on his side.

Vickie: EXCUSE ME! EXCUSE ME!
Edge: EXCUSE HER!

The fans aren’t putting up with Vickie tonight. But she finally gets out that Edge will compete this Sunday, but won’t be in a match tonight. The crowd starts up with the ‘You Suck’ chants and Edge demands that the fans respect the General Manager of Smackdown, because we are all her guests.

WWEEELLLLLLL!!!!

The Big Show comes out, laughing his head off. Edge tries to get into Show’s face, but Show stops him and tells him to relax. Show advises him to save his energy, because he’s going to have a lot to complain about after No Way Out when he’s not the Champion. The WWE Board of Directors has dictated that every brand (except ECW I think) has a championship match, so Edge will have NO WAY OUT!

Edge chuckles at Big Show’s quip sarcastically and tells the fans not to feed his ego. Edge demands to know why Big Show didn’t follow the game plan last week. The only reason it failed is because Big Show wanted to make a statement. But Edge has a statement for him; he is the WWE Champion. His entire career he has defied the odds. He ALWAYS finds the way out; which is why he is the champion now. Edge demands to know what happened and that the Big Show used to be trustworthy. After all, Show did take care of Vickie while he was gone….

Awkward….

Edge catches the odd vibe between them and Big Show cuts to the chase and promises Edge he will not leave the Chamber WWE Champion. He will smear him all across the chamber and crush him under his boot. Edge demands Vickie does something! Big Show demands that Edge does something and stop hiding behind a woman!

EXCUSE ME!

Vickie makes the aforementioned Fatal Four Way official and hopes that all four men will make it to the match this Sunday. And with that we got to commercials.

Okay, I demand WWE Studios makes a movie with both Edge and Big Show in it. Those two are great together. The past few weeks of opening the show with a promo has been done very well and that continues tonight.

After the commercials we get a replay of MVP and Shelton Benjamin’s match last week and come back to Chavo Guerrero in the ring.

MVP vs. Chavo Guerrero

Again no tunnel? That’s going to take some getting used to.

Both men circle the ring and MVP starts it off with quick punches to Chavo, taking him down with a clothesline. Good enough for a 1 count. Chavo stops MVP’s momentum with inverted arm breaker and a sliding dropkick that sends MVP to the outside. The ref tries to get Chavo to back off but he gets MVP with a slingshot cross body to the outside. Chavo rolls MVP back in and gets a two count.

Chavo begins working over MVP’s arm with an armbar. MVP tries to fight his way out of it and finally does by forcing Chavo into the corner. MVP keeps Chavo unsteady with a shot to the throat and a face buster. Wait for it, wait for it….

BALLIN!

MVP gets a two count off the elbow drop. MVP puts Chavo up on his shoulders but Chavo counters with a head scissors takedown. MVP tries to get to his feet in the corner and barely moves out of the way as Chavo come charging in. MVP nails a running big boot on Chavo in the corner! MVP sets up the Drive-By Kick, but wait! It’s Shelton Benjamin! Paydirt on MVP by Benjamin! That’s it for this one.

Winner: MVP (DQ via Benji-ference at 3:29) ** This was a good match up that was not tainted by the outside interference. The point here was to build toward as US Championship and everything played out well. Also, in another note MVP did a much better job of selling the arm work by Chavo. Whenever all three of these guys face off, it’s going to be a hell of a match.

Benjamin talks trash on his way out but Chavo looks like he’s not done. Chavo goes to the top and hits a Frog Splash on MVP as Benjamin watches.

We get a package of the Elimination Chamber

As we come back from commercials we get a package of Wrestlemania 13. Triple H, The Rock, Stone Cold, and The Undertaker were all highlighted.

The Undertaker comes in at the end and declares that this Sunday he will have one ally: the Chamber itself which he will use to inflict the maximum amount of pain. Victory is his destiny. As for the others; their fate is sealed. Six will enter and five will rest in peace. The typical Undertaker morbid tones here, but still good.

The static clears and the Colons are talking to the Belle Twins. The Colons try and take credit for some flowers the Belle Twins received; turns out they were sent by The Miz and Morrison. Miz declares that they felt the Belles would like to hang out with a winner this Valentine’s Day. Carlito tries to say something about Fed Ex when one of the twins tries to rebuke the Slow Mo Duo. But the other decides that since both teams had a match that night, the Twins would go out with the winner. Both sides agree, Morrison says adios to the ‘colons’ and Carlito tries to point out the accent is on the O. Hilarious.

We got to commercials and I take a bathroom break.

World Tag Team Champions The Miz and John Morrison vs. WWE Tag Team Champions Primo and Carlito Colon

Carlito and Miz start this one off with a collar and elbow tie up and both struggle around the ring until Carlito gets in a punch. They tie up again and Miz tries to punk Carlito out, but gets a clothesline for his trouble. Carlito goes for a headlock but Miz whips him across the ring, Carlito counters with a shoulder tackle. Miz tries whipping him again but gets punched. Carlito goes for an Irish Whip this time and attempts a springboard back elbow, but Miz ducks out of the way. Carlito lands on his feet and nails him with a dropkick! The Twins approve!

Carlito tags Primo, who nails Miz with a slingshot senton. Good for a two count. Miz gets away from Primo and tags in Morrison, who comes in and slaps the taste out of Primo’s mouth. The two trade a series of near pin attempts until Primo returns Morrison’s slap from earlier. Primo hits a big headlock take down on Morrison and keeps him on the ground with a side headlock. Morrison eventually gets to his feet and forces Primo into the corner and tags in Miz. Miz gets in a series of punches and J.R. points out the Duo’s similarities to Rick Rude. I never thought of it that way before; but J.R. has a valid point. Miz goes for a clothesline but Primo ducks under and gets Miz with a head scissors takedown.

Primo tags in his brother and Carlito and he gets control quickly. Carlito nails the springboard elbow perfectly and gets Miz into the corner. Carlito starts nailing Miz with punches from the second rope and cuts Morrison off with a clothesline before he can interfere. Carlito charges but Miz ducks out of the way and Morrison lowers the top rope, sending Carlito flying to the outside. And with that we go to a commercial break at 3:30

-As someone who follows the markets, I’m starting to wonder who takes these clearly cheap gold commercials seriously. I’m just saying

-Same thing goes for that ShamWow commercial.

We’re back at 6:31 and Carlito is in a chin lock via Morirson. Carlito tries to fight his way out of it but Morrison holds on, going for a neckbreaker but Carlito reverses into a backslide. Good for a two. Carlito tries to get to his corner but Morrison drags him away and tags in Miz, who stops him with a stomp. Miz and Morrison stomp Carlito, ending with a combination knee breaker/elbow drop by Morrison. Good for a two. Morrison tags in Miz, who gets in a Double Gutbuster.

Miz puts Carltio into a rear chin lock. The Belle Twins get the crowd to makes some noise and Carlito gets to his feet, fighting both Miz and Morrison only to step into a Half Nelson face buster. The Miz goes for a Million Dollar Knee lift but Carlito counters with a Spinebuster bomb. Miz tags in Morrison but Primo gets the hot tag. Primo is in and he is a HOUSE ON FIRE! ….But is it En Fuego? Spinning back elbow and a cartwheel?

YES! EN! FUEGO!

Primo nails a clothesline, a dropkick. Primo goes for the Monkey Flip but Morrison lands on his feet.

Vintage Morrison!

Morrison goes for the Roundhouse Kick but Primo counters with a back sweep. Nearly three but Miz breaks it up. Carlito comes in and hits Miz with a Swinging Neckbreaker but Morrison slides him to the outside. Primo goes to the top rope but Miz pushes him to the mat. Morrison hits the Moonlight Drive and this one is OVAH!

Winners: The Miz and John Morrison (Pinfall via Moonlight Drive at 10:47) ***3/4 No doubts here; this was the Match of the Night. Every time these teams get together their matches just get better and better. My only complaint is the commercial break but other than that a fantastic match.

The Miz and Morrison go for the Twins and at least one of them looks completely disgusted as Carlito rages in the ring.

Jeff Hardy arrives in a red Corvette and is greeted by various members of the roster and staff backstage before we cut to commercials.

“Hunt You Down” by Saliva is the theme for No Way Out.

We get a video package from the WWE Championship match at the Royal Rumble.

Jeff Hardy is BACK!

No swagger in Jeff step as he enters the ring. Jeff comments that it’s a weird time for him lately. He wants to
do bad things to bad people but he still feels weird. Matt Hardy is his brother; cue to ominous music. Jeff Hardy points out the history they had in the WWE together, winning and losing together, only for this to happen.

The Royal Rumble used to remind him of good times and the days they watched it together as kids. Now it’s just a reminder of broken dreams and betrayal. Jeff tells Matt he’s the type of person who doesn’t live in the past and will go to the Elimination Chamber this Sunday and win back the WWE Championship whether Matt Hardy likes it or not.

Short, quick and to the point. Still not a fan of the ominous soap opera theme but the important thing is that the feud continues to mirror a real family feud where one side tries to put the incident behind them. But, as I’m sure Jeff will learn soon, something’s can’t be put in the past. We’ll most likely see how Matt responds this Sunday. Good work, though, by Jeff.

Ezekiel “The Green Mile” Jackson w/The Brian Kendrick vs. R. Truth

What’s up? Well, a lovely ceiling with a running fan. Thanks for asking R-Truth!

R-Truth starts it off with a big punch to Zeke. The big man is stunned as Truth shows off for the crowd. Truth splits to avoid a clothesline, but the acrobatics end with a huge shoulder tackle. Jackson powers Truth around the ring before hitting a scoop slam. Good for a two count. Jackson hooks in the Full Nelson, but Truth stomps on his feet to get out of it. Truth tries to charge him but Jackson catches him with a Military Press, following it up with an elbow drop.

Jackson hooks a read bear hug that really looks odd with him doing it, but R-Truth gets to his feet and fights his way out. Jackson tries to charge him but R-Truth gets both feet up. R-Truth goes for a charge but Jackson counters with a Military Press, which R-Truth counters into a roll-up. Good for a two count. Jackson is up and crushes Truth with a running clothesline!

Now that just looked painful.

Jackson goes for the Ura-Nage but Truth reverses it into a cradle for the three!

Winner: R-Truth (Pinfall via Roll-Up) **1/4 It was good for what it was and a step up for R-Truth who looks like he’s finally fully acclimated with his new surroundings. ¼ extra for the sick clothesline Jackson got in.

Eve Torres is in the back with Maria. Eve asks how Maria plans on standing up to the new Michelle. Maria says that tonight she has to have the fight of her life and show Michelle she has the heart to compete. Eve wishes her luck as we cut to commercials.

We return after the commercials to a video package highlighting Wrestlemania 3.

Michelle McCool vs. Maria

Michelle starts this one off trying to push Maria around but Maria isn’t having it. Maria is throwing forearms like crazy and nails Michelle with a head scissors takedown. Michelle finally catches her with a scoop slam with her leg landing oddly on the ropes.

Michelle smells blood in the water and immediately begins targeting the ankle and lower leg. Michelle slides out of the ring and stomps the ankle into the ring steps repeatedly. She looks like she’s having a good time tonight at least. Michelle slides back into the ring (whatever happened to the count) and informs Maria that she doesn’t belong here before hitting the Russian Leg Sweep. Michelle goes for a pin and gets a two count.

Michelle puts Maria into a wicked looking modified Half Boston Crab before the referee makes her break the hold. Maria tries to surprise Michelle with a roll up but only gets a two count. Maria fights Michelle off with a European Uppercut and an Enzuguri. Michelle tries to attack Maria but Maria counters with an inside cradle; good for two. Michelle slows Maria down with a dropkick to her leg and hurls her into the corner.

Michelle rolls down the kneepad, preparing for something sinister know doubt until Eve comes down to ringside! Michelle slides out and attacks Eve, throwing her into the ring. The referee convinces Eve to leave and Maria comes from behind with a roll up! Maria gets the three! Maria wins!

Winner: Maria (Pinfall via Inside Cradle at 4:03) *3/4 Okay, I will say it: WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?! This wasn’t near the level of last week’s match, but a giant step up for the division as a whole. It was solid and well done up until the end. For weeks now, I’ve been commenting on the potential of the WWE women and it’s really beginning to show. If they continue in this vein, we can only expect big things from them.
Still not sure about the Diva’s Championship though. But maybe, just maybe, I could get used to it.

We cut to the back where Todd Grisham is with Triple H. Grisham asks if Triple H is confident about tonight, and of course Triple H is and it is because of his new T-Shirt available only at WWE Shop.com .(BUY! BUY! BUY!) HHH asks Grisham to read what it says on the back and Todd points out that he doesn’t speak Latin. Luckily, Triple H informs him and us that it stands for ‘Destroyer’. He points out that unlike the others; he has experience with the Elimination Chamber. As sick as it sounds, he’s grown to like the Chamber and this Sunday he will revel in all of the pain and anguish it brings because he will walk out WWE Champion

We get a package of the HBK/JBL storyline. Great stuff. I wish it doesn’t have to end so soon though.

Did you Know that…okay not only did I not know, I don’t want to know!

We get a recap of the events of Raw and Randy Orton’s heinous acts against the McMahon Family.
JR and Tazz run down the No Way Out card. Looks like it will be a solid show. Triple H makes his entrance before the commercial break.

Fatal Four Way Match
Vladimir Kozlov, the Big Show, Triple H, and The Undertaker

Big Show goes after HHH and Kozlov goes for the Undertaker. All four fight it out in different corners until Undertaker tosses Kozlov out of the ring. Undertaker goes after the Big Show and he and HHH to send Show to the outside. The fans get on their feet as HHH and Undertaker stare of the ring and the slugfest begins!

Both men hammer each other until the Undertaker gets the upper hand and hits HHH with the Snake Eyes. Undertaker goes for the running boot but HHH counters with a AA Spinebuster.

Undertaker sits up. It’s not over yet!

Undertaker gets up and is taken out from behind by Big Show. Show takes HHH down with a head butt and we got to commercials at 2:11.

We come back at 5:49 and Kozlov whips Undertaker into the ring steps. Big Show goes for a splash on HHH in the corner but HH gets out of the way. Kozlov gets back into the ring and he and Big Show begin attacking HHH. Both men pull HHH up and take him down with a double shoulder tackle. HHH tries to fight back but is beaten down by both men. Kozlov forces HHH into the corner and nails him with shoulder tackles. Show whips Kozlov into HHH and Kozlov roars, only to get a Chokeslam for his trouble! Big Show goes for the pin but Undertaker sees him and breaks it up from the outside.

Undertaker slides in and goes after the Big Show. Big Show tries for a clothesline but Undertaker ducks under it and responds with a flipping version of his own. Show fights back and tries a Chokeslam, but the Undertaker counters with a DDT.

And, for the record, that’s the best DDT down on the Big Show to date.

Undertaker gets a two count before Kozlov breaks it up. Kozlov pulls the Undertaker and power shim to the mat with a power slam. Kozlov gets the two count. Kozlov complains to the referee long enough for Undertaker to hook the Hell’s Gate. Big Show breaks it up. Show waits for Undertaker to sit up and hooks him for the Chokeslam, but Undertaker steps up and locks in the Hell’s Gate again! This time HHH breaks it up.

Kozlov goes after HHH but HHH pulls down the top rope and sends Kozlov to the outside. HHH attacks Show with rights until Show starts to look a bit punch drunk. HHH hits a face buster and goes for the Pedigree but Show reverses it, going for an Air Raid Crash before Undertaker nails him with a big boot sending both men to the mat. Undertaker tries to pin HHH but only gets a two count.

Show slides out of the ring and is forced into the post by Kozlov. Kozlov comes in and runs down nearly everyone in the ring until the Undertaker counters with Snake Eyes. Big Boot! Leg Drop! Undertaker goes for the pin and Big Show breaks it up at two.

Big Show backs the Undertaker to the corner and works him over like a heavy bag, knocking him down with a couple of head butts. Show goes for the Vader Bomb but Undertaker moves out of the way. (When will Show learn?) Kozlov takes Show down with a running head butt. HHH comes out of nowhere and nails Kozlov with the Pedigree! HHH celebrates right into a Tombstone Piledriver from the Undertaker! Undertaker goes for the pin but Big Show stops him and hits the Chokeslam!

Wait! It’s Edge! Edge with a Spear out of nowhere on Big Show! The ref calls for the bell and Edge stands alone over his enemies as Smackdown closes.

Winner: Unknown (at 12:59) *** Great main event here. The crowd was clearly into it and all four men brought their A game to the ring in a chaotic and entertaining match-up

Final Thoughts : Tonight, Smackdown delivered: it’s that simple. Everything that was done made perfect since and all of the match were on point. If you did not see the Colon/Miz and Morrison match, I would highly recommend finding it somewhere on the internet and watching it. Again, great going home show that really helped build No Way Out. Hopefully the trend continues after this Sunday as we head to Wrestlemania 25.

Don’t forget to check out the Worst Wrestler of the Week every Tuesday! Until then; JP is DONE SON!