The Fink’s Payload 04.17.08: Backlash Main Events!

I’m very proud of all of you. It’s the fourth edition of the New Fink’s Payload and you’re still paying attention. Each week, my email inbox is flooded with more and more of your great ideas. And some of you are even using the “spellcheck” function on your word processors. It’s a reader-feedback-fueled article writer’s dream, really. Go ahead and give yourself a round of applause! And while you’re at it, give yourself a pat on the back, too. You deserve all the best hand-slapping accolades money can buy, 411 readers. You’re that awesome.

Now, try to give yourself a round of applause and a pat on the back at the same time.

I’ll wait.

See what I did there? I just gave you a little lesson in humility, my friends. No matter how many kind words are thrown your way, you still can’t clap your hands and pat your back at the same time.

Are you listening, politicians?

…and now, on to the part of the column where you get to show off your fantasy-booking skills and decide the future of the WWE! Last week, I asked you to send in your ideas for next week’s Backlash pay-per-view.

Will ECW Champion Kane once again prove his dominance over Chavo Guererro, or will the influence of the Rated R Entourage prove too much for the Big Red Machine to handle?

Can the Undertaker make it two-in-a-row over Edge with his World Championship on the line?

Does Randy Orton stand a chance of retaining his WWE Championship in a fatal-four-way match against John Cena, Triple H, and John “Bradshaw” Layfield?

Find out… now!

Opinion #1: CyberVenom
“The Animal’s Back, Punk’s Briefcase is Black, and JBL’s a Hack”

With Undertaker and Edge, I see Taker walking away
with the belt soon, but the Edge Alliance continues to
grow. Not only will the EdgeHeads and Vicki possibly
interfere, we’ll also see Chavo and his new security
guy jump in as well. Undertaker/Edge is over, and we
move on to the now heel Batista (after the match with
HBK at Backlash). Undertaker/Batista will go just as
it did before, just with more Batista bad mouthing
‘Taker. I wouldn’t be surprised to see Umaga turn face
during it either and join the Dead Man against the
Animal. More on the Chavo/Kane situation in the next
paragraph.

Speaking of Chavo, I see Kane losing the belt after
the new guy interferes. Once Chavito and the Rookie
get into the Taker/Edge match, a very, very pissed off
Kane takes them out of the equation.

ECW on Tuesday will have Kane wanting a rematch.
Armando Estrada says next PPV. Kane/Chavo feud
continues until CM Punk decides to cash in the MitB.
Triple Threat: Kane vs. Chavo vs. Punk. Well, Estrada
wants to make it special. Two words: Extreme Rules.
Punk gets his belt back.

As for the Fatal Four way. WWE seems to be on a major
binge to get Randy Orton to be a credible Main Eventer
and Heel. As much as I want JBL to get this title, I
think we are going to get the same basic match we got
at WrestleMania, albeit with a different ending. HHH
pedigrees Cena, and goes for the pin. Orton goes for
the punt again. HHH sees it coming this time, and
jumps up……straight into a Clothesline from Hell.
JBL turns to pin HHH, and is met with an RKO. Pin from
Orton on JBL.

I see HHH and Cena starting a feud with this about
“who REALLY lost the match?”, ending in possibly a
Hell in a Cell between the two. Orton and JBL will
feud over the belt in a heel vs. heel storyline, with
Orton getting another legend under his boot by the end
of it. Orton stays champ for the forseeable future.

WHAT DO I THINK?: I’ve been honest about Batista before. He needs to turn heel. It’s like the only way to make him interesting again, so you’re smart to do that. But why does Umaga have to turn face in order for it to happen? I need to know more about why we are suddenly cheering for that guy. I am also skeptical about using the MITB briefcase to challenge for the ECW Championship. It certainly makes sense, right? CM Punk is an ECW guy, he has the briefcase and he never really got “his” belt back from Chavo, so he should use his title shot for that belt. Well, the WWE has admitted the ECW strap ain’t really up to par with the other two “world” championships. I think Punk would be smarter to set his sights on a bigger prize. I’m also going on record by saying that I like the idea of JBL/Orton for the belt. Heel vs. heel matchups force the crowd to choose to cheer for someone and I think it’s fun to watch. Besides, when your secondary feud is Cena vs. HHH, you can afford to put together an “iffy” championship match. Good work.

Opinion #2: Daniel Wilcox
“ECW Stays the Same, Randy Plays the Game, and Teddy Long is the One to Blame”

ECW Championship: Kane vs. Chavo Guerrero: Having taken out Chavo’s new associate on ECW the week before Backlash, this match has a level playing field. Chavo tries to gain an advantage by attacking Kane on his way to the ring from behind, but alas, Kane prevails despite Edgehead interference. After the match, Kane takes out Ryder and Hawkins with a pair of chokeslams to prevent them getting involved in the World Title match later on. The aftermath of this match will come into the continuation of the Edge/Taker feud.

WWE Championship: Randy Orton vs. John Cena vs. Triple H vs. JBL: As you’d expect, this is a pretty good match and all four men have spells where they look dominant. Midway through the bout, Triple H delivers a Pedigree to JBL on the announce desk which essentially takes JBL out of the contest, leaving us with a Mania rematch. Orton gets double-teamed by Cena and Triple H and tries to catch a breather on the outside, but Cena follows and delivers a FU to Orton through one of the other announce tables. This leaves us with Cena and Triple H, who go at it for a while. Trips thinks he has Cena beat when he hits a Pedigree, but Cena kicks out. He tries to hit another one but Cena counters and catches The Game with a FU. Cena covers but is pulled out of the ring by Mr. Kennedy. Kennedy hits a Mic Check on the floor and Cena is out. As he walks to the back, Triple H recovers but turns around into a Clothesline From Hell by JBL. In turn, JBL turns around and eats a RKO. Orton retains. Triple H is protected and will feud with Orton for a while longer, JBL will drop down and feud with the likes of Jericho over the IC strap while Cena moves into a feud with Mr. Kennedy before both men enter the title picture in the summer.

World Championship: Undertaker vs. Edge: Before the match, Vickie Guerrero bars Kane from ringside or else he will be stripped of his title. This is another great match with many near falls. The referee gets knocked down allowing it to basically become a No DQ affair which plays to the advantage of Edge. However Taker fights back and they brawl up the aisle and around the entrance area. Other officials try to get them back to ringside and fail, so the match is thrown out (think Taker/Lesnar from Unforgiven 02). They continue to brawl back to the ring where Taker takes a spear from Edge. He sits up and fights him off, trying for a chokeslam but is attacked from behind by The Miz and John Morrison! They help beat down Taker alongside Edge, who puts the exclaimation point on the whole thing with a Conchairto. From here, you have The Rated R Entourage grow to include, Edge, Vickie, Miz, Morrison, Edgeheads, Chavo and Chavo’s as yet unnamed associate. The best way to go from here is to have Teddy Long regain his status as GM, perhaps when Vince turns face and intervenes, and book Taker/Edge with no interference to settle the feud at Judgment Day where Edge regains the title when… Teddy Long turns heel as he replaces an incapacitated official and screws over Taker. This would lead to one more match after Taker single handedly takes out members of the Rated R Entourage until Edge accepts a rematch (maybe Taker was about to chokeslam Vickie, so Edge accepted). Taker also gets to name the stip, which could be a Casket Match, Last Ride match or even a Buried Alive bout. Taker would probably win that one and the Entourage would pretty much disband following the break-up of Edge and Vickie.

WHAT DO I THINK?: I really like how this entry keeps the continuity together and works the ECW match and the SD match into a coherent storyline. It would be fun to see the Rated R Entourage keep growing and growing like you describe here. But beware of NWO-itis with these things. The Teddy Long swerve caught me off-guard. Why does Teddy have to hate on ‘Taker? Your ideas for Raw are good and I’m sure that the three Kennedy fans in the room would be pumped to see their man move into a feud with Cena. I just thought about this, but I’m worried that if Triple H keeps getting title shots without winning the belt he’s going to lose fan support. That’s kinda what happened with Batista last year. Any lengthy feud with Orton should involve swapping the belt at least once, I think, or else the Game should be kept busy with other things.

Opinion #3: Travis Homewood
“Flaming Caskets, Colin the Contender, and Cena Gets Pinned… Again!

World Championship Fallout: We are going to have another match where it looks like Edge can pull out a victory, the Edgeheads run down to distract the ref at a point where Undertaker is dominating, and have Edge nail a chair shot. Taker kicks out of pinfall and hits Edge with the chair to go ahead and get his payback not caring if he gets DQ’d. Edge has another win and gets a post match beat down. They lock Taker in a casket and set it on fire. Not original by now but classic Taker. So the following smackdown we are wondering the status of the world champ. Is he on his last legs? Will he meet the 30day defense clause or be stripped of the title? Edge starts ranting about how he’s the champ because he put out the current champ, and if UT couldn’t defend of course Vickie would award the title to him. The next week however Edge comes out and starts a counter, if Taker doesn’t defend the title by the next ppv then it goes back to Edge. The next week Edge is out alone cause at this point he’s really over confident. And we finally see a response from Taker. The lights turn out the blue lights come on the ring floats and Edge craps his pants. Taker announces a casket match for the next ppv. Edge runs from the ring with lightning causing explosions all the way up the ramp way. Edge loses the casket match and UT moves on to his next feud.

ECW Championship Fallout: Chavo has his own back up now so he isn’t going to borrow the Edgeheads for this one. I don’t know the dudes name so new bald dude on the ECW is going to be referred to as Doofus till I actually learn his name. Chavo and Kane have a decent little/big man match, Chavo works the leg, and body as best he can, Kane fights off the offense and keeps trying to out power Chavo. Doofus runs down and the ref is yelling at him for even being there and Chavo hits Kane with the belt hits the frog splash and gets the…….2! Kane kicks out and is PISSED! He also gets disqualified but it is for brutalizing his opponent. He kicks out, whips Chavo to the corner, follow up body splash, chokeslam, throws chavo over the top rope onto Doofus and then follows them outside, ref ejects Doofus while Kane beats Chavo around the ring where he Tombstones him onto a chair on the announcers table then goes to town with a few chair shots. Chavo gets carted out by EMTs only to have Kane come back and flip the stretcher over and kick him while he’s face down. The next week we get Kane beating the snot out of Stevie Richards and the next couple weeks have Kane destroying jobbers on ECW. Armando Estrada announces a triple threat #1 contenders match for the week before judgment day and its Tommy Dreamer, Elijah Burke and Shelton Benjamin. But the match is the main event and right before that we have Kane vs. Stevie Richards. Now I’m going to say that Stevie should get in plenty of offense so that it reminds everyone that Kane can take it as well as dish it out so lets say its extreme rules cause Stevie requested it and thinks he has a chance to win. Kane beats and bloodies him by the end of the match and when the #1 contender match is announced, only Tommy Dreamer shows up! He wins by default and Kane wins by count out at the ppv due to a tombstone on the ramp that leaves him a bloody mess and Kane gets back in the ring at 9. after Judgment day Estrada is out asking for anyone that wants to be named #1 contender. No one comes out for a bit so finally Kane does and he starts to talk about how this used to be the home of the extreme and all it took was one extreme monster to tear it down. Colin Delany comes out and hits Kane from behind with a barb wire chair. And announces his candidacy for #1 contender.

WWE Championship Fallout: The fatal fourway at backlash goes as follows: after a long battle of many near falls Cena FU’s JBL, to turn into a pedigree, HHH stands up from that to an RKO, JBL comes flying out of no where with a Clothesline from hell and he falls directly on top of the downed HHH and Cena! HHH kicks out but Cena doesn’t and the ref calls for the bell. NEW CHAMP JBL!! After the match Orton and HHH beat the holy hell out of both Cena and JBL (HHH does get Ol’ Sledgey to assist in the beat down) and then stare each other down till they both give a nod of FU to each other and HHH walks out, and poses under the titan tron. Cena is officially out of the #1 contender hunt due to 2 consecutive losses, but wants HHH for the constant pedigrees and Hammer hits. Orton wants his title back from JBL. So we can separate out these feuds. Only reason I have the title change is I’m actually hoping JBL does win it, and he needs it to stay in the title picture. Orton would win it back at the next ppv if I had my way.

WHAT DO I THINK?: Hey, that’s a pretty neat idea for Edge right off the bat. Since he controls the GM, and the GM controls relinquishment of titles due to injury, all he has to do is injure the titleholder and then the GM can declare him the new champion. Clever. You know what else is neat? Burying the former superhuman John Cena. He took the pin at Wrestlemania and now he takes a fall for JBL?! I’m a little confused about the pinning scenario, too. Seems like JBL just shrugged off the FU that started the whole thing, but maybe it could be timed out so that he doesn’t no-sell the move. I’m not thrilled about another JBL title run, though it’s interesting how you create the same feuds as the guy before you albeit in a far different manner. Oh, and Colin Delaney: ECW Champion? Then we would know, once and for all, that the past two years has been one big loogee in the face of Paul Heyman.

Opinion #4: Abo Henry
“Surprise Pin, Surprise RKO, and Surprise! This Guy Doesn’t Have a Chance”

Undertaker(c) vs. Edge
The story of WM24 match was that Edge had a counter for all Undertaker’s “vintage” moves but was caught out with his new finisher. I think this match will be shorter than WM and that Undertaker will dominate more but this time when he applies his submission finisher, Edge rolls him onto his shoulders and the ref counts 3 giving Edge the victory and the title. I think they should go this way because if Edge loses clean again there is not another heel on Smackdown at the moment who deserves a main event spot and you can’t keep Edge there if he keeps losing clean. They can then have Big Show (as a face) come after Edge as well as the Undertaker and finally CM Punk to cash in MITB at Summerslam.

Randy Orton(c) vs. JBL vs. Triple H vs. John Cena
The WM triple threat was better than expected but I fear this one could be a mess. If Orton loses then his win at WM means nothing as it would have just been a case of getting lucky. I think JBL is in this match to take the pinfall so Triple H and Cena don’t look weak. I expect the finish to be a sort of reverse on WM with Cena FU’ing Triple H after a reversal, JBL hitting the Clothesline from Hell on Cena and then Orton RKOing JBL for the win. Afterwards Cena will be away shooting his movie and this will leave Triple H free for a 1-on-1 shot against Orton in the summer where he will claim his 12th title.

Kane(c) vs. Chavo Guerrero
Kane will win this clean as there are far better heel challengers in ECW than there are faces. Longer than WM (wouldn’t be hard) but still pretty short (between 7-10mins). Some interference but Kane clearing house then chokeslamming Chavo. Fueds with Benjamin, Morrison and a returning Jeff Hardy over the summer to follow for Kane.

WHAT DO I THINK?: The real novel thought in this submission was Edge vs. Big Show for the World Championship, and I think it could sell some tickets, yeah. The size difference would be similar to Show/Mayweather but Edge is even more resourceful than the boxer that defeated Big Show at WM. If Edge somehow gets out of the ‘Taker feud with the belt, this could be a good way to go. Edge/Punk is a safe early bet for Summerslam because we know these two have beef with each other and Punk has that briefcase. The HHH/Orton idea is quite possible as well, given the current storylines and Cena’s movie responsibilities. Nicely done. And, hey, Kane vs. Jeff Hardy was my idea! Therefore, I give it two thumbs up.

Opinion #5: Stephan Straka
“Did Somebody Say Shenanigans?”

World Championship: The Undertaker (c) vs. Edge
‘Taker got his WrestleMania streak-continuing win. Hurray. Edge needs a win here because otherwise he fails to remain a credible threat to ‘Taker. We can have a bit of shenanigens with the Edgeheads but Edge ends up getting the win after an Edge-ecutioner and two Spears. Edge can continue his feud with Taker, leading to a cage match at Judgement Day. In a SHOCKING SWERVE, Batista comes out and costs Taker the victory. He tells Edge straight-up that he’s only in it because he hates Taker and hates that Taker is dominating the main event and getting every title shot (irony). This can keep Taker busy with Batista, the Edgeheads and even Chavo over the summer until he finally gets his title shot and pins Edge at Summerslam. In the mean time, this is a perfect time to build a midcard face or two as a viable main eventer with a strong program against Edge. Matt Hardy is definately one for consideration. I’d say have him feud with MVP until Judgement Day, win the U.S. title and then feud with Edge.

WWE Championship: Randy Orton (c) vs. John Cena vs. Triple H vs. John “Bradshaw” Layfield
I’m enjoying the Age of Orton honestly. At this moment you have a situation along the lines of Taker/Batista/Edge in that all three men are the most viable contenders for the title, sorry JBL. They can do the same thing here with Orton going over at Backlash, Cena and Trips feuding through Judgement Day until One Night Stand or even Vengeance while having someone else feud with Orton. Jeff Hardy is a definate no. Have Jericho challenge for Judgement Day and lose cleanly, then feud with Punk. HBK can step up until Cena and Trips are done.

ECW Championship: Kane (c) vs. Chavo Guererro
ECW needs main event faces that aren’t named CM Punk because Punk is too big for ECW. I’d have him go over to Raw at the draft and feud with Jericho for the IC title. There are plenty of midcard faces doing nothing that can be brought up on ECW. Moore, Yang, Noble, even Bobcore and Rhodes are possible considerations. Either way, they need faces. Chavo could get a heel shenanigens win with help from the new guy and the Edgeheads.

WHAT DO I THINK?: I like how you want to mix up the title scene on SD and ECW. A lot of people are speculating about a draft and are hoping that it will shake up the main events, but you just decided to push the guys as they were. Matt Hardy vs. Edge for the big gold belt would be shocking, controversial, historical, monumentous, you name it. And if Chavo starts defending the ECW belt against Shannon Moore and Cody Rhodes then we might have to take it down another notch, from IC/US status to cruiserweight status. Unfortunately, I’m not a huge fan of your predictions for Raw for the same reason that I like the other ideas. Jericho vs. Orton and HBK vs. Orton are complete rehashes of last fall’s feuds and, even though I would love to see either of those guys back in the title picture, I don’t think we’re in the mood to see these matches again so soon.

My Opinion
“Rated R Ripple Effect and Finishing the Job”

On the April 21st episode of Raw, John “Bradshaw” Layfield appeals to General Manager William Regal’s contempt of Randy Orton and his desire to see that man lose the WWE Championship. He convinces Regal to change the fatal-four-way match at Backlash into a no-disqualification match.

Before the ECW Championship match at the actual pay-per-view, the Rated R/Guerrero Entourage meets backstage. Edge says that the Brothers of Destruction are a threat and must be dealt with by any means necessary. He tells Chavo that he shouldn’t be worried about regaining the belt; instead, he should focus on making sure that Kane is dismantled so that he cannot interfere in the World Championship match later in the evening. Despite the obvious conflict between his and Edge’s personal goals, Chavo reluctantly agrees to cooperate.

The addition of Chavo’s bodyguard into the ECW equation means that Kane will very likely be outnumbered in his efforts to retain the championship. The bodyguard stays outside the ring during the match and, about five minutes in, Chavo distracts the referee long enough to allow his partner to land a few critical blows. After eight minutes, it looks like the Big Red Machine is in a weakened state. Chavo climbs the top rope but before he can deliver the frog splash, Kane suddenly sits up and marches towards the turnbuckle. Chavo has the classic “oh, shit” look on his face as he gets chokeslammed from the top rope. Enraged, the bodyguard hits the ring and viciously attacks Kane, causing a disqualification. Hawkins and Ryder run down to the ring to join the beatdown, per Edge’s orders, while Chavo looks like he doesn’t quite get what is going on. The four men leave the ECW Champion in a bloody mess as a message to his brother, but Chavo certainly doesn’t look pleased with the results.

The fatal-four-way for the WWE Championship is a wild, wacky meeting between feuds of past, present, and future. Cena displays a phenomenal drive to regain the championship he never lost. About fifteen minutes into the match he gives Orton an FU through the announce table, effectively “taking out” the champion. Meanwhile, HHH and JBL engage each other and a sledgehammer even comes into play. JBL, wearing a crimson mask, surprises the crowd when he pulls out a pair of handcuffs from underneath the ring. He dodges a sledgehammer shot, delivers a shocking clothesline and then somehow manages to lock HHH to the ringpost outside the ring. With Orton still unconscious amidst a mess of table scraps, a battle-worn HHH is then left to watch in disappointment (and rage) as JBL and Cena lock horns in the final minute or so of the match. Cena has the noticeable upper hand as the “Wrestling God” can hardly make it to his feet. Cena ducks a clothesline attempt, hits the FU and pins JBL for the victory and the WWE Championship. After the match, referees release HHH from the handcuffs and he agrily returns backstage in spite of the Cena celebration around him.

In the World Championship match at the end of the show, Edge pulls out all the stops to try and steal the win. The Edgeheads interfere and Vicki handles the distraction for the referee. The finish comes when Edge climbs upon ‘Taker in the corner of the ring only to find himself in position for the Last Ride powerbomb. Edge reverses the powerbomb into his Edgecution DDT, but the Deadman kicks out at the two count. The Undertaker rises and battles back to nail a tombstone piledriver to pin Edge and retain the championship.

AFTERMATH: On Raw, John Cena and Randy Orton can resume their feud from the fall. Both man has a rightful claim to the championship, since Orton didn’t pin Cena to take it at No Mercy and Cena didn’t pin Orton to take it at Backlash. They fight to a no-contest at Judgment Day and then we finally get to see the Last Man Standing Match between these guys at One Night Stand. Triple H will vow to get revenge on JBL and they will meet each other in a bullrope match at Judgment Day. At Summerslam, after these storylines are carried out, Triple H and John Cena will face each other again.

On ECW, the seeds of Chavo’s departure from the Rated R stable have been planted. A triple threat match is planned to determine the number one contender for Judgment Day: Chavo vs. Shelton vs. Tommy Dreamer. After Edge convinces him to go to the ring without his bodyguard “to show how tough he really is,” Chavo loses the match. In a WWE.com exclusive video, he goes beserk backstage and says that listening to Edge has only brought him down. Shelton Benjamin, by the way, is the new number one contender and should take the title at some point in the summer.

On Smackdown, the Undertaker is still the champion and the dominance of the Rated R Ensemble falls further into question. I feel that maybe Edge will get another shot at Judgment Day, where he will once again come up short. That should be the end of this stable as they have about run their course at the top. Chavo’s dissention could create an interesting dynamic in the group because it can go one of two ways. On the one hand, we could see Chavo as the annoying family member who turns Vicki against Edge. This would allow Chavo to remain a heel and could possibly turn Edge into a face by the summertime. On the other hand, we could see Edge maintain his dominance over the stable and “kick Chavo out,” leading to a Chavo face turn. I think this could be a compelling storyline but I’m not sure who should turn and who should stay, so I’m backing away from making an official prediction yet.

That’s all of the Backlashtalk for this week! Now, let’s talk about next week. The King of the Ring tournament, as you all know, returns for a one-night event on Monday, April 21. The speculation around the internet leads me to believe that this will be an eight-man tournament comprised of Raw, ECW, and Smackdown superstars.

So…

Question Four (due date: Tuesday, April 22 @ 11 PM)
Predict the outcome of the 2008 King of the Ring tournament. Keep in mind that the old-school purpose of the tournament was to propel a midcard superstar into the main event. In 2006, Booker T became “King Booker” and won his sixth world championship (first in the WWE) at the very next pay-per-view. In 2002, Brock Lesnar proved he was the “Next Big Thing” and won his first major singles title a month after being crowned. And back in 1996, Steve Austin introduced the world to “Austin 3:16” after he emerged victorious in this event.

Primarily, we’re concerned with three things:

1. Which eight men will participate in the tournament?
2. Who will win the tournament?
3. How will this superstar use the “King of the Ring” to propel them into the main event?

I know, I know, by the time the next article comes out the tournament will already be over. That doesn’t mean you can’t have fun with this. Next week’s article will feature a quick rundown of what happened in the actual tournament and then we’ll see if your ideas were better than what the WWE came up with!

Send your thoughts to [email protected]! See ya next week!