The Tremendous Tirade: WWE Smackdown 1.04.08

+++WWE SMACKDOWN 1.04.08+++ SMACKDOWN BACK IN THE DAY FIVE YEARS AGO TODAY… -John Cena defeated Rikishi -Bill Demott defeated Chuck Palumbo -Billy Kidman defeated Eddie Guerrero -Chris Benoit and Edge defeated Team Angle (Haas and Benjamin) via DQ -Nunzio defeated Crash -Brock Lesnar defeated Matt Hardy ONE YEAR AGO TODAY… -BEAT THE CLOCK~! -Kane defeated Chavo Guerrero in a beat the clock mach -Brian Kendrick drew Paul London in a beat the clock mach -King Booker defeated Gregory Helms in a beat the clock mach -Ashley defeated Jillian Hall -Jimmy Yang Wang drew Tatanka in a beat the clock mach -Mr. Kennedy defeated Chris Benoit in a beat the clock mach to take the lead WWE Smackdown Begins Now! -We get a video package, highlighting the events of last week. -Michael Cole welcomes us to the show. -Vicky is wheeled out by Teddy Long, and welcomes us to the show. She says if Taker or Batista touch Edge, they will lose all chances at regaining the title. She has decided to make a Beat the Clock challenge in order to name a #1 contender for Edge at the Royal Rumble. We will see Finlay, Rey Mysterio, Batista and the Undertaker involved. She then introduces Smackdown’s new commentator, The Coach. His music rules. Vicky snapping her fingers in a demanding way for Teddy to shake hands with Coach was priceless, she is really becoming a good heel character. Beat the Clock Non-Title Match: Finlay w/Hornswoggle vs. MVP © I like how they didn’t have MVP’s traditional entrance set up, as to not give away who Finlay’s opponent was, that was a nice touch. Finlay works the takedowns, trying to control MVP. Finlay slaps MVP, who returns and then gets a few stiff cross faces. MVP with a boot to the head, but Finlay tosses him to the floor. He’ll follow and MVP chases Hornswoggle away and then clotheslines Finlay. We’ll head to a commercial @ 1:52. We are back from a commercial @ 5:05 with Finlay in control working the leg. MVP with cross face shots to escape, he snags a leg, is into the guard and works for a pin. Finlay works a body scissors, MVP slams him down and covers again for 2. MVP works the neck vice now, a head butt by MVP as well. He keeps working the neck vice; you’d think there would be some more urgency in his part to win in a quicker time. MVP gets a boot to the head and gets a cover for 2. Back to the neck vice he goes, elbow shots by MVP and tries for another cover. Finlay escapes, and works the arm. Finlay kicks at the shoulder, an Irish whip and Finlay misses a charge, hits the post and MVP charges in with the Kawada kick! 1…2… Finlay has the ropes. MVP grabs a SHACKALACKI that Hornswoggle tossed in, the ref takes it away and Finlay grabs another one from Hornswoggle and nails MVP for the win. Winner: Finlay @ 9:46 via pin A good match from the two, gutted by a commercial break, but solid work. I’d like to see a lengthier match from the two. Rating: **¼ -Vince is out to the ring and looks proud of his son. They hug and give high fives. Finlay isn’t buying this at all. That was very random. –9:46 is now the time to beat. -We see highlights from the epic Noble/McCool date from last week. Chuck Palumbo and Michelle McCool vs. Kenny Dykstra and Victoria Michelle McCool is wearing leather this week and I approve. Kenny and Palumbo to begin. Palumbo gets a toss and cover for 1. Kenny fights back, but eats a back elbow. Victoria gets tagged in and leaps on Palumbo, McCool in and a basement dropkick to Victoria gets 2. McCool works the arm, Victoria turns the tables but McCool gets a back flip and escapes. This annoys Victoria and she tosses her into the steel post and covers for 2. Victoria works the arm still, McCool escapes and gets a belly to belly, kind of. Tags to Palumbo and Kenny. Palumbo cleans house, but eats a boot. Kenny then leaps into an overhead toss, followed by a powerslam for 2. Palumbo misses the corner boot, which allows Kenny to get a neck breaker for 2. Kenny up top…Palumbo stops that and is up with him…SUPERPLEX connects. The ladies in, top rope cross body by McCool. Kenny then eats a kick from McCool, but this allows Victoria to nail the widow’s peak for the win. Winner: Victoria and Kenny @ 6:25 via pin Damn fine little match there. A little miscommunication once or twice, but overall I enjoyed the match. Rating: ** -Palumbo blows up at McCool after the match and blames her for the loss. He then leaves by himself. Why is she standing and acting like she is fine when she just ate the widow’s peak? That annoys me. -Teddy brings Vicky coffee, which he messed up apparently. Chavo is here and he’s all pissed off. He says she is destroying the Guerrero family through her relationship with Edge. Chavo wants to roll back the hands of time…like sands through the hourglass, to go back to the good old days…of his life. Beat the Clock Match: Funaki vs. Chavo Guerrero It’s good to see that HGH freak Funaki back. I mean, look at him, JACKED to the gills! Chavo is setting a quick pace and looking for pins right away. A slam by Chavo and cove, only for 1. He smartly keeps looking at the clock as well, another nice touch. Uppercuts by Chavo and a cover for 2. Off the ropes and a head scissors by Funaki for 2. He lays the boots to Chavo, who returns with a tilt a whirl slam for 2. More uppercuts by Chavo, but Funaki with a small package for 2. Belly to back suplex by Chavo gets another 2 count. Chavo continually goes for covers and pinning combos, only to fail. Funaki misses a dropkick and a jackknife roll up by Chavo for 2. Chavo starts kicking the hell out of Funaki, gets a roll up for 2. Funaki grabs a back slide for 2. Enziguri by Funaki and a cover for 2. Funaki set u p top, fights off Chavo and gets a cross body for 2. Chavo stops a roll up with the ropes and starts to knee Funaki in the head. Gory Bomb by Chavo that is all. Winner: Chavo Guerrero @ 6:02 via pin While not a great match, they played to the stipulation perfectly with lots of quick pin tries and continually looking to the clock, I appreciate that. Rating: *½ –6:02 is now the time to beat. -Batista walks. Beat the Clock Handicap Match: Batista vs. The Rated Rmy (Curt Hawkins and Zach Ryder) Batista’s opponent was to be Curt Hawkins, BUT…Vicky is on the screen and makes Teddy announce that the match will be a handicap match against Hawkins and Ryder. Batista tries to fight them off, slams Ryder to the corner. He goes for the bomb and backdrops Hawkins as he charges in. They lays the boots to Batista now, an Irish whip and Batista levels one of them, Hawkins off the top and is caught, catapult by Batista and Hawkins land sin the corner hard. Ryder stops the bomb and they high low him and cover for 2. Coach and Cole finally speculate what will happen if the RMY wins, way to be on the game boys. Irish whip and Batista hits the corner hard. Dropkick by Ryder and a over for 2. A boot by Hawkins sends Batista to the floor. They follow and brawl on the floor. Batista is caught in the ropes by Hawkins, and Ryder gets a 2nd rope leg drop and cover for 2. They continue to work over Batista as the time keeps running down. Hawkins with a knee drop, Ryder with a splash and cover for 2. The RMY tries the double implant DDT and get it. They try another, but Batista backdrops both of them. DOUBLE SPEAR~! Hawkins off the ropes and a corner clothesline. Ryder slammed into him and the corner splash to both. Powerslam to Ryder, spinebuster to Hawkins. Ryder stops the Batista bomb and time runs out! Winner: Draw God I hate handicap matches, but in this circumstance it did make perfect sense, and was worked smartly. They RMY are Edge’ cronies and did their job perfectly, as well as had an entertaining little match. Rating: ** –6:02 is STILL the time to beat. -We get the Raw Rebound. -MVP is on the phone and is pissed because he is better than everyone and only lost due to the SHACKALACKI. He needs to be respected for his greatness. He is going to shatter the glad ceiling (THAT’S A SHOOT~!) and make his mark, make history and do what HHH couldn’t do; retire Ric Flair. -Rey is here to discuss Beat the Clock. He says you cannot prepare, he’s not the biggest guy around and likes to scout his opponent. But he can’t. he has to be fast and furious, which is his style. He had the World Title once, and will do anything to do it again. Jimmy Wang Yang & Shannon Moore vs. Deuce and Domino w/Cherry Deuce and Yang to begin. Deuce uses the power game and then tries a roll up for 2. Yang quickens the pace, dropkicks Deuce and then goes to the floor. Cherry falls, and Domino levels Yang. Back in and Deuce covers for 2. Yang hung on the ropes and Domino in with an ax smash. Snap mare and a cover for 2. Million dollar dream by Domino now keeps Yang grounded, Yang manages a jawbreaker and works for a tag. Domino takes out Moore, but Yang gets a RANA and tags in Moore. Leg lariat to Domino and a cover for 2. Domino charges, eats an elbow and Moore with a high cross body for 2. Yang sent to the floor, Domino suplexes Moore, but he escapes and Moore rolls up Domino for the win. Winner: Yang and Moore @ 3:45 via pin Yang and Moore continue to roll as they should, short but fine match. Rating: *¼ Beat the Clock Match: The Undertaker vs. Mark Henry 6:02 is STILL the time to beat. Mat Striker comes to the ring, which bodes well for Taker. But he is out to be the referee for the match. Taker works his strikes, slams Henry to the corner, but Henry fights back. Rights by Henry, an Irish whip and then a shoulder block by Henry for 2. Henry chokes out Taker, and they go to the floor to brawl. Taker slams Henry to the steps and then breaks the count. He tosses Henry back in to the apron and gets a boot to the head. Apron leg drop…VINTAGE UNDERTAKER (™ Michael Cole.) back in and Taker works his strikes because he is the best pure striker in WWE history (™ Michael Cole.) Taker goes old school but is stopped. Irish whip by Henry, and follows with a clothesline and covers for 2. Clubbing shots by Henry, and Taker fires back and then gets a DDT. Taker goes old school again, but leaps into the bear hug. Taker escapes, rights to Henry, off the ropes and a GOOZLE by Taker. Chokeslam! 1…2…and Striker pulls up and doesn’t count. He then runs away as time runs out. Winner: Draw It accomplished what it was supposed to do, screw Taker out of beating the clock. Rating: *½ -After the match Taker slams Henry, gets a leg drop and stands tall in anger. –6:02 is STILL the time to beat. -We get highlights of Taker getting screwed out of his win. -Some random former Diva Search chick interviews Striker. He says Taker failed in beating the clock. He threatened Striker, and if he ever does it again, he and Big Daddy V will take him out. -Coach and Cole hype the Royal Rumble. JBL vs. Jericho will happen, Hardy vs. Orton for the WWE title, the Royal Rumble match as well as Edge defending against the winner of beat the clock. -We get highlights of Chavo winning his match and leading the beat the clock competition. -Edge comes out to the ring along with the Rated RMY. Beat the Clock Non-Title Match: Edge © vs. Rey Mysterio 6:02 is STILL the time to beat. Edge stalls right away, he’s a tricky bastard. Edge runs to the floor now and smiles at Rey. He breaks the count and celebrates with the RMY, and then comes back in only to jump back to the floor. Rey fakes a dive, Edge in and a RANA by Rey. Irish whip and a head scissors by Rey. The seated senton gets 2 for Rey. Off the ropes and a Yakuza kick takes Rey’s head off. Edge tosses Rey to the floor and the ref counts. Rey back in and Edge lays the boots to him, and then delivers a hard Irish whip. Batista runs out and beats the shit out of the RMY! He tosses them into the crowd, dropkick by Rey, 619 misses, but he gets a roll up for 2. Cross body by Rey gets 2. Kicks by Rey, and then Edge counters the wheel barrel bulldog and slams Rey to the corner. TAKER is out now! LIGHTS OUT! Back on and Edge is laid over the ropes and Taker is gone! 619! BIG splash and Rey wins! Winner: Rey Mysterio @ 4:35 via pin Fine for the time given, the story was more important than the actual match. Edge is a great chicken shit heel. Rating: *¾ –Rey beats the clock and goes to the Rumble to challenge for the World Title! The Tremendous Tirade: I have mixed feeling on the beat the clock format, but this was an entertaining show. We got a lot of wrestling, solid if unspectacular, good storyline stuff with Edge and Vicky screwing Taker and Batista, only for Edge to get screwed in the end by them. Rey winning got a good pop and gets a title shot. Yang and Moore kept rolling along and the Palumbo/McCool angle is also getting play. This was a fine wrestling show this evening! Remember to send your thoughts on the show for the 4R’s!