wrestling / TV Reports
411’s WWE Raw Report 8.21.06
We get highlights from last night’s Summerslam PPV.
Edge’s music hits and he makes his way to the ring, with no title I believe. New belt maybe? Please?
EDGE: I have waited for this night my entire life. Each and every one of you bought tickets thinking I would not be WWE champion. You are all wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong and wrong! With the odds stacked against me, in John Cena’s hometown, I emerged victorious. I am still your WWE champion. But if I am the champion, then where is my belt and girlfriend Lita? You won’t rain on my parade.
We see Lita on the Titan Tron. She is at a harbor and she found the spinner title!
EDGE: That is really John Cena’s title. Since I have erased Cena from my life, we should remove that title as well with a burial at sea. Lita, do the honors
She tosses it into the water! Has it been 7-years yet? Can we rehash that with no gimmick infringement?
EDGE: And so ends the John Cena era. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the rater R era.
Smoke comes from the ceiling and covers Edge. When it stops, a NEW World Title is down from the ceiling and it is a Rater R spinner belt.
EDGE: So ends the Cena vs. Edge era, with a happy ending for me. And now that Cena is gone from my life, if there are any other challengers, then by all means step up. But for now, I am going to go and get my lady.
Jeff Hardy is here and Edge is shocked!
They stand off in the middle of the ring.
EDGE: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE? DIDN’T YOU DIE THREE YEARS AGO? If you think you will comeback at my expense, wrong. Look at Matt, I ruined Matt’s career so take a lesson.
They brawl and Hardy goes up top, but Edge rolls out of the ring.
They hype the IC Title match between Kane and Nitro as well as Flair vs. Orton.
The Spirit Squad vs. The Highlanders and Eugene and Hacksaw
The SS jumps and beats down Eugene to start. Johnny with an arm bar on Eugene. Eugene fights back, to his feet and Eugene with a wristlock. Boots by Johnny and an Irish whip to Eugene. Eugene kicks him in the head and gets the airplane spin. Tag to Roby. They slam Johnny into Rory’s head. Dropkick by Roby for 2. Off the ropes and a knee by Mikey and Johnny with a spin kick for 2. Tag to Kenny, double suplex on Roby for 2. Back elbow by Kenny for 2. Stomp to the face and tag to Mikey. Assisted moonsault to Roby for 2. Forearm shots by Mikey and a cover for 2. Roby fights, rights to Mikey and a knee to Roby. Roby then fights out of the SS corner and then he gets whipped to the corner. Assisted flying forearm by Nicky for 2. Nicky continues to work over Roby, Roby with rights and then the SS beats him down again. Tag to Kenny and he delivers rights to Roby. Spinning neck breaker by Kenny. Up top he goes…MISSES the huge leg drop. Tag to Rory. He starts to clean house on all of the SS. Uranage/backbreaker for 2. Everyone in now. The Highlanders get a double reverse slingshot suplex and pin one of the cheerleaders.
Winners: The Highlanders and Eugene and Hacksaw @ 6:19 via pin
We get replays of the finish.
We see Edge walking and looking for Vince. He sees Coach working out on his solo/bowflex. He wants to look like Vince. Edge wants a match against Jeff Hardy. Coach asks if he wants a title match, but Edge is like, no. Coach agrees to making a one on one match.
Vince is here along with Shane. He says DX is not here yet. Vince is in a foul mood and he tells Coach to get the hell out. Vince can’t believe all he has heard about is how he lost last night. Shane says he was the legal man, and since Vince was pinned it should not count. Vince vows that it is not over with DX.
Todd Grisham is with Randy Orton. Todd mentions Summerslam and that he didn’t beat Hogan. Orton says he beat him because he had the ref in his back pocket. He has some pet up aggression. Now he will face Flair who is a bigger Legend than Hogan. Carlito is here and gets rid of Todd. Carlito says who cares about last night. Carlito says Hogan winning was cool. Orton says at least he was on Summerslam. He calls Carlito a fool and just a catchphrase and demands some respect.
We see HHH now reading, amazed I know. He says last night after defeating the McMahon’s and their army, after all of that and defeating Vince at Summerslam, they went to Bridgeport. They saw Vince’s plane and we see a model of it and HBK does some hilarity. Anyway, HHH came to the private air terminal where the $30-million dollar plane is parked. There was an incident.
We see video of them on the plane drinking. They apparently scratched the paint. They wonder if he will notice the scratch. They spray painted the plane with the DX logo. They are happy with their work.
We see Vince and Shane, and Vince is LIVID. He destroys a plasma TV. I hate rich people.
We see highlights of Lita winning the Women’s Title last week.
Trish Stratus vs. Victoria
Lock up and a slap by Victoria. Rights by Trish, whip and a corner splash. Dropkick by Trish and Victoria falls to the floor. Thesz Press off the apron to Victoria. Trish rams Victoria to the steel post. Back in the ring, a clothesline and cover for 2. Victory roll by Trish for 2. Stratus-Faction countered by Victoria into a backbreaker for 2. Clubbing shots to the back of the head by Victoria. Victoria slams Trish to the mat and then Trish counters a side back breaker with the spinning head scissors. Clothesline to Victoria gets 2. Victoria takes her down with a knee to the head. Victoria up top, Trish follows…Top rope RANA and Victoria lands on her head. She is ok though, Widow’s Peak try, countered, chick kick and Stratus-Faction finishes it.
Winner: Trish Stratus @ 3:00 via pin
Here comes Vince and Shane to the ring.
VINCE: I suppose what you liked what DX did to my plane. That aircraft was $30 million dollars and you encourage that kind of degeneracy. I will tell you something, in just a few minutes, we will have our laugh. We called the cops. We will stand here and watch DX arrested.
We are back and apparently waiting on the police. Now the cameras are there. We go “LIVE” to the airport. We see DX there and they welcome Vince. They are at Titan Towers, on top actually. HHH says Vince has accomplished some big things, like this building. HBK says that is what great pioneers do. They put over Vince and his accomplishments and relate him to great pioneers. DX are apparently great pioneers. They will make their mark. We see Titan Towers with a HUGE DX on it. Didn’t that happen like, 3-weeks ago? And how could they get there and do that so neatly in like, 20-minutes. They moon Vince who is stunned and looks like a beaten man. I know I will be if this feud doesn’t end soon. They sing “Hey, hey, goodbye” for Vince. He looks like he is going to cry.
JR and King hypes Orton vs. Flair for later tonight as well as the IC Title match. Next is Jeff Hardy vs. Edge.
Vince and Shane walk. They can’t believe it. Foley is here and says hi to Vince. Vince is shocked he called him Vince. Vince brings up him calling his a son of a bitch. Foley says he is having a bad night as well as we see the Foley stitches. Vince doesn’t like Mick. Mick’s night will get better, because since DX put him through hell, maybe it is his turn to make Mick to join the kiss his ass club. Foley says he has 25-stitches and says that is ridiculous. Vince says is he doesn’t kiss his ass, someone is fired. Shane says to pucker up.
Non-Title Match: Edge © w/Lita vs. Jeff Hardy
Baseball slide by Jeff as Edge enters begins it. Plancha by Jeff and he is in control. In the ring and Jeff covers for 2. Boots by Jeff, off the ropes and Edge tosses Jeff to the floor. Edge follows and whips Jeff to the steps. I hear Jeff was so drugged up during his TNA run that he thought the 6-sided ring was a drug-induced illusion. Edge stretches Jeff on the steel post now. Rights by Edge, Irish whip and Jeff counters and fires back. Up top…leaps to his feet and a DDT on Edge for 2. Twist of fate countered into a reverse DDT by Edge for 2. Edge slams Jeff to the corner, whip and the walk up moonsault by Jeff gets 2. Rights by Edge, then by Jeff. Off the ropes and a clothesline by Jeff. Cover for 2. Rights by Jeff, ref breaks it up and a twist of fate by Jeff. Up top now…SWANTON connects. Cover 1…2…and Lita tries to pull his foot to the ropes, but then she pulls him out to the floor, they ring the bell and Cena runs in. Probably not the first error involving pulling out for Lita there.
Winner: Jeff Hardy @ 5:20 via DQ
Cena beats Edge all over the building. Road agents try to break it up but Edge slams Cena into the garage door. Cena gives chase as we head to commercial.
We see replays of the finish of the last match and the brawl with Cena.
We see Edge and Cena brawling at the PIER! PIER SIX BRAWL! Cena says he is not going anywhere. Cena says he will whip out his hose and beats Edge with an actual hose. Agents are here, but they continue to brawl. Cena beats on the agents! Edge fires back and Cena tosses Edge into the water! So has the 7-years passed?
We see Melina check on Foley. She thanks him for last night, for saving her from Flair. She is glad it is over. He doesn’t know what to do about tonight. He couldn’t look himself in the mirror if he goes through it. She says to think it through. Foley is a mentor and friend, and if he is gone, she doesn’t know what she would do. She is ok with whatever choice he makes.
Harbor control has rescued Edge from the 2-feet of water he was in. Those brave souls.
IC Title Match: Johnny Nitro © w/Melina vs. Kane
Headlock by Nitro, off the ropes and a shoulder block by Kane. Nitro circles, backs away and then tries a boot, back flipped and dropped by Kane. Side slam by Kane countered and boots to Kane. Corner mount punches by Nitro, tossed off and Nitro gets a Randy Savage style stunner off the ropes to Kane. Springboard dropkick swatted away by Kane. Kane with a flapjack variant on Nitro. Kane up top…clothesline to Nitro. UUMAGA is here and that is a DQ.
Winner: Kane @ 2:00 via DQ
Flatliner by Umaga. He picks up Kane and delivers the Samoan Spike. Kane sits up and Umaga with a stiff kick and head butts to Kane takes him back down. Umaga to the 2nd rope…FLYING SAMOAN SPIKE to Kane! Kane coughs up blood as Umaga stands tall.
We get a video package of Layla winning the Diva Search.
JR discusses the possibilities of Foley joining the Vinnie Mac Kiss My Ass Club.
We get to see the trailer for the “Marine,” Cena’s flick. John Cena chokeslams a bitch in a fight. Go see this movie.
HAHA, JR says the Marine is a “family” movie. Nice JR.
Flair looks like hell as he makes his way to the ring.
Randy “Legend Maimer” Orton vs. Ric Flair
Orton tries to jump Ric, but he gets chops. Boot by Orton, suplex by Orton. Orton yells at Ric, and then tries to clothesline him to the floor, not enough so he does it again. Orton poses with a busted lip. Ric to the apron and Orton dropkicks him back to the floor. Orton follows and gets a suplex on the floor. Orton breaks the count and then goes back to the attack. Boots by Orton, rights to where Ric is bandaged up from last night. Back into the ring and more boots to Ric. Orton kicks Ric to the floor. Rights by Orton, and then whips Ric hard to the steps and Ric is bleeding from the back of his head and from the cuts that he got last night. Back into the ring and boots by Orton. Orton looks like he is doing the Garvin Stomp! Ric to his feet, chops to Orton. Rights by Orton, off the ropes and a kick to Flair. Rights by Orton, chops by Ric. Eye rake by Orton, RKO. 1…2…3. Flair continues to do everything he can to put Orton over.
Winner: Randy Orton @ 4:15 via pin
After the match Orton continues to beat on Flair, and the decision gets reversed.
Winner: Ric Flair @ 4:15 via DQ
Orton looks to deliver another RKO, but Carlito is here to make the save! Springboard elbow and Orton rolls out of the ring.
We get some “Kiss my ass” Club footage from Vince’s DVD.
Vince and Shane are in the ring and calls Foley and Melina out. I bet he threatens to fire Melina so Foley goes through with it and she turns. Vince says Foley is the first to bring a date to this event. Foley says to shut up and he is not doing it. Vince says yes he will. Foley loves the WWE and this job, but he doesn’t NEED IT! Foley has saved a fortune on his apparel and haircuts. He drives a used mini-van. Foley says to not threaten him. Vince says he doesn’t hear to well due to only having a portion of an ear. Vince says he would fire “someone.” He won’t fire Foley if he refuses, he’ll fire Melina. Thought so. What’s it going to be Mick? Foley says NOBODY is worth kissing his ass for…accept her. Melina cries.
Vince starts to unveil his ass, and Melina begs Foley not to do it. He says he has already had a full career, and this is the start of Melina’s. She is the godmother to his youngest son, and this is the lowest point in his career, but it is a small price to pay for her friendship. He will kiss his ass and then thy will go to a store and buy some mouthwash and hard liquor. Right now he has to do this.
Foley says to PULL YOUR PANTS DOWN YOU MISERABLE SON OF A BITCH! Vince does and Foley kisses his ass violently. Wow. Foley yells ay Vince and Melina LOW BLOWS FOLEY! Vince asks what is wrong? Just like DX, they have 2 words for Mick…and Melina says YOU’RE FIRED.
Vince, Shane and Melina say this is the way a night should end as they leave up the ramp. They are in the back and Vince still talks about people doing things to his ass. He brings up the ass-cial, he will have one tomorrow. Melina and Nitro hug and Vince and Shane walk. He still talks and they leave.
Vince says he isn’t ok, he can’t breath. He didn’t want to say it out there, but he says DX has broken him. Shane says the plane can be fixed. Shane says they have gone too far, and Vince asks about the building. Shane says they will pay. They go to the limo and Vince yells at the limo driver for not wearing a tie. Vince is going to check on his plane. The Limo pulls away with a chain tied to it and as they get about 100 feet it rips off the axel. That wacky DX.
The limo driver checks on them and they crawl out of the limo. Vince calls the driver a little bastard. Vince sees the damage and the “DX” that was spray-painted on the other sign. Vince yells like a roided up monkey.
