411’s WWE Raw Report 9.22.08

Chris Jericho is out to start the show. The World Championship is hung above the ring where a ladder is set up. Jericho climbs the ladder and sits on top. Big “you suck” chants, then “HBK” chants. Jericho says it is typical of Michaels to try and re-write history. Last week HBK convinced Mike Adamle to make their title match a ladder match and in another of his boastful statements, Shawn claimed that he revolutionized the ladder match. And like the sheep that they are, the fans believed what he said. Here’s a news flash: just because Shawn Michaels says something, doesn’t mean that it’s true. When Jericho says something, it is real because he is a good man. Here’s some truth; he has won three separate titles in a ladder match. He has won more high profile ladder matches than Michaels has even been in at when No Mercy is through, the last thing we will see is Jericho taking down the title and still the World Heavyweight Champion. Shawn already disfigured him when he whipped him with his leather belt, but at the end of the night, he walked out as Champion. Because he’s too good, and he is better than Shawn Michaels. Now Shawn is trapped in a corner. This ladder match simply gives Jericho a weapon of destruction…

Randy Orton is here! He gets a massive pop. Jericho says he knew it would only be a matter of time. Orton claims if it wasn’t for his kicking CM Punk in the skull, he wouldn’t be champ. The ladder match doesn’t matter because the winner will be running on borrowed time. Jericho says Orton talks trash that he can’t back up. He has a lot of big ideas and goals that he’ll never accomplish. Jericho says what’s to stop him from punching him in the mouth right now. When he gave Rebecca Michaels a fat lip it was an accident, but with Randy, it’ll be on purpose. Orton says Jericho won’t do a thing. He talked to Mike Adamle earlier and he needs to be protected. Adamle ruled Orton can’t hit anybody, but more importantly, no one can hit Orton else they are suspended immediately. In other words, he is untouchable. Jericho says he is the most valuable commodity on Raw, the best in the world and he gets what he wants. And right now, he wants to get away from Orton, because he is wasting his time. Jericho wishes Orton luck and leaves.

Orton says he will be champion once again, long after Jericho is done. Orton tosses the ladder out into the aisle way. CM Punk is here! Punk is pissed. Punk gets in Orton’s face. They’re nose to nose now. Big Punk chants. Punk slaps him! And again! Orton backs into the corner. Mike Adamle is out now and tells them to knock it off. Adamle says he can’t let this go, and Punk is suspended indefinitely.

Shane McMahon is here! Holy shit! HUGE pop for Shane O. Shane says what Punk just did is called a receipt. Normally Shane would respect Adamle’s decision, but not tonight. He is officially overruling Punk’s suspension. Orton wants to know what Shane thinks he is doing. Shane tells him to cool down. He says Orton will respect his position. Shane respectfully asks that Orton leave the ring. Shane says we will kick things off with Punk in action against Cody Rhodes! Shane says tonight’s main event will be Chris Jericho and JBL vs. Batista and Shawn Michaels!

CM Punk vs. Cody Rhodes

Lock up, to the corner and we get a clean break. Punk goes for a kick but misses. Lock up again and Cody backs Punk into the corner, switch, clean break. Lock up again into a headlock by Rhodes. Punk sends Rhodes into the corner and gets the better of a forearm exchange. Spinning elbow by Punk, running knee misses but Punk gets a kick to Rhodes’ chest. Cody uses Punk’s trunks to pull him to the floor. Punk chops Cody down off the apron though with kicks. More kicks on the floor by Punk. Cody bounces Punk’s head off the apron a few times though. Back in and Cody comes off the top with a crossbody, but Punk rolls through and gets 2. Flurry of rights by Punk in the mount position. Kick to the chest by Punk. Cody begs off. Punk drills Rhodes in the corner, snapmares him out and drills him with a kick to the back. Cody reverses a whip and sends Punk hard into the corner and gets 2. Elbow to the back of the head by Rhodes, but Punk comes out and tries for the GTS. Cody fights out and rolls to the floor as we go to a commercial.

Back from the break and Cody is torquing Punk’s leg, injured during the break. Punk fights out of the hold, gets to his feet and hits some knee strikes to break free, rolls through and into an ankle lock! Cody Rhodes is in trouble and… eventually gets to the ropes. Punk wasn’t too keen on breaking the hold. Slap by Punk, and another, and a discus. Roundhouse kick, kick to the back. Soul kick connects, knee lift connects. Running knee in the corner hits, but the bulldog is blocked. Cody can’t block the Go2Sleep though and it’s over!

Winner: CM Punk

Ted DiBiase and Manu are out now and put the boots to Punk. Kofi Kingston makes the save and cleans house with dropkicks. Unfinished business~!

The Cincinnati Bengals are in the front row, and they get booed.

The SmackDown Rebound, sponsored by WWE Mobile, features Vladimir Kozlov kicking ass.

In the back, Adamle feels embarrassed. Shane says Mike is doing a good job. Kane is here. “Hi Shane O! Long time no see!” Ha, nice. Kane wants Rey Mysterio. Adamle says it is a done deal; Mysterio vs. Kane at No Mercy. Kane tells Shane to say hi to his mom. Continuity~! Shane runs down his history with Kane for Adamle. Comedy~!

Kelly Kelly makes fun of Glamarella, because Santino has a brokened face after Batista’s beating last week. Santino mocks Batista’s pyro break dancing to great comedic effect. Batista is here though. Beth says Santino will mess his face up. Santino’s music plays, saving him from having to kick ass.

We get clips of the confrontation last week between Batista and Glamarella.

HONK-A-METER! Honky Tonky Man was Intercontinental Champion for 64 weeks. Santino has been champion for 5 weeks!

Santino Marella vs. Deuce

What did we do to deserve this? Santino says before we start, he has one thing to say: Baptista, I hope you’re watching! The Happy Days are over. Lock up and clean break. Santino goes face-first into the turnbuckle. Deuce goes right for the face with rights and a big knee lift. Deuce gets 2 off of a fist drop. Deuce reverses a whip and we get a collision of heads. Santino scores a sunset flip and gets the 3 count.

Winner: Santino Marella

Later tonight, Kelly Kelly Kelly will lose to Beth Phoenix, the woman who made him go and buy the contraceptives, the Glamazon!

In the back, Rey Mysterio gives Evan Bourne a pep talk. It’s Bourne vs. Kane, next!

Kane vs. Evan Bourne

Bourne ducks a clothesline, leaps over Kane and scores with a kick. Evan goes through the legs then hits a big enzuigiri to rattle Kane. Bourne with forearms, but gets caught, elbows out and hits a low dropkick. Kicks to the knees now but Kane drills him clubbing blows and a boot to the head. Kane misses an elbow and gets caught with a low dropkick and double stomp. Bourne gets taken down but pops back up with another kick. Kane blocks a crucifix, Bourne tries a sunset flip but that too is blocked. Kane whips Bourne into the corner but gets caught with a dropkick. Kane runs into a pair of boots, but blocks a Tornado DDT and dumps Bourne on the apron. Kane misses a big boot and gets knocked to the floor. Bourne up top… MOONSAULT TO THE FLOOR! Back in and Bourne comes off the top with a double knee to the skull for 2. Kane launches Bourne into the air now and catches him coming down with a sick uppercut! Kane pummels Bourne in the corner with rights and boots. Kane hits a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker, followed up by a pair of regular backbreakers and a powerslam into the corner, then a powerslam back into the middle of the ring. CHOKESLAM connects! And it’s over.

Winner: Kane

Kane isn’t done though and grabs Evan by the throat after the match, only for Rey Mysterio to make the save, only to get big-booted mid-crossbody. Rights by Kane in the mount position now, and a chokeslam connects.

Jamie Noble wants one more crack at William Regal. Dolph Ziegler introduces himself to Noble and Shane. Randy Orton is here and says what happened earlier was not cool. Shane tells him to relax. Shane says he respects Orton, but what he did to Punk, he’s getting off easy. Orton says they’re both powerful 3rd generation stars. He says it would be a shame if they got on each other’s bad side. Shane agrees, but points out that he is actually 4th generation.

Beth Phoenix w/ Santino Marella vs. Kelly Kelly

Beth controls early with a headlock and forearms in the corner. She whips Kelly to the other side but misses a charge. Kelly works the arm with knee strikes, hops up to the top and scores with an arm drag. Beth blocks a rana and powerbombs Kelly into the turnbuckles. Beth goes to work and rearranging Kelly’s face and then applies a submission hold as we see Candice Michelle watching from the back. Kelly powers out of a keylock, scores with forearms but gets tossed back down to the mat. Beth misses an elbow drop and Kelly comes back with a dropkick and a clothesline. Beth launches her to the second rope and Kelly comes back with a crossbody! Santino provides the distraction, but some miscommunication leads to Kelly getting a roll up for 3!

Winner: Kelly Kelly

After the bell, Glamarella look to do a number on Kelly but Batista is here! Beth gets in Batista’s face allowing Santino to take a cheap shot. SPEAR to Santino! Beth and her thong hightail it.

We recap the Dirt Sheet/Word Up wwe.com wars. Good times.

The Miz and John Morrison vs. Cryme Tyme

JTG and Morrison start us off and lock up. They go to the cornered we get a clean break. JTG avoids a right and drops Morrison. Miz drills JTG from behind though to allow Morrison to take over. JTG comes back with a right and a takedown for 2. Shad in off the blind tag and press slams Morrison, Miz eats a back elbow now but goes to the throat to pick up the advantage. He misses the Reality Check and takes a big boot. Morrison pulls Miz out so Shad launches JTG out onto Miz and Morrison as we go to break.

We come back to Morrison controlling the pace and working over JTG. Miz and Morrison continually prevent JTG making the hot tag and make several of their own. JTG fights out of their corner but gets taken down on a number of occasions. JTG fights out of a chin lock but takes a knee to the gut. He manages to avoids Miz and Morrison long enough to get the tag and Shad comes in and cleans house. Scoop powerslam on Miz, but Morrison breaks up the cover. Morrison gets tossed but from the outside he pulls JTG out, allowing Miz to roll up Shad for 2. Shad comes back though and gets a 2 count of his own. JTF gets tossed into a ring post on the floor. Miz distracts the referee allowing Morrison to drill Shad with a big kick from the apron, and Miz covers for 3.

Winners: Miz and Morrison

In the back, Chris Jericho tells Adamle that Shane is testing him. Jericho has an idea about the main event.

No Mercy;
Ladder Match for the World Championship – Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Jericho
Kane vs. Rey Mysterio
Undertaker vs. Big Show
Number 1 Contender’s Match: JBL vs. Batista
WWE Championship: Triple H vs. Jeff Hardy

Earlier today, Charlie Haas went to Dave and Buster’s to pay tribute to Mr. Perfect. Charlie dons a wig and pays tribute. He shoots hoops, plays golf, snooker etc, only, he’s not very good at any of it. And that proves that there is only one Mr. Perfect. DVD hype~!

Lilian Garcia has just be informed that this will now be a 2-on-3 Handicap match. Shocking~!

JBL, Lance Cade and Chris Jericho vs. Shawn Michaels and Batista

Michaels and Cade start, They lock up and go to the corner and we get a clean break. Slap by Michaels! Slug fest! Cade gets the better of the exchange early but Michaels turns the tables. Cade whips Shawn into the corner but HBK comes back and goes for Jericho, but JBL catches him with a cheap shot. Jericho quickly to attack Michaels while he is down. Rights by Jericho followed up by a back suplex. Snapmare by Jericho, chinlock now. HBK fights back but Jericho takes him to the corner and drills him with boots. Michaels comes back with a chop, a right, a cop, more chops, but Jericho gets the step up enzuigiri. JBL in now and pummels Michaels in the corner and hits a swinging neckbreaker. Clubbing blows by JBL now. Abdominal stretch applied. Michaels fights out with a hip toss but Cade is in now and slows Michaels down. Jericho gets some cheap shots in behind the referee’s back. JBL in with stomps now. Michaels fights back on JBL but gets caught with a big boot, and JBL cheap shots Batista. Shawn comes back with chops again but gets caught. Michaels blocks the fallaway slam and counters into a DDT! Jeircho in! Batista in! Batista cleans house with clotheslines and shoulder thrusts. SPINEBUSTER to Jericho! Cade gets knocked off the apron. Powerslam for Jericho. Tag to Shawn… diving elbow drop! The band is tuning up! Jericho ducks the kick and goes for the Walls, but Shan counters into a roll up. The Codebreaker is blocked into a jack knife roll up. JBL breaks that up. He and Batista go to the floor where Batista hits JBL with a spear! In the ring, Jericho hits a bulldog but misses the Lionsault! Tag to Cade, but he gets caught with the flying forearm! Kip up! Shawn wants to deliver Chin Music to Jericho, but he avoids it and Cade hits the sit-out spinebuster for 3!

Winners: Lance Cade, JBL and Chris Jericho

The heels celebrate as we go off the air.