411’s Pre-Emptive WWE Summerslam 2014 Report

Readers of my previous column Thoughts From the Top Rope (and indeed anyone who remembers The Fink’s Payload) will be familiar with my work in the area of fantasy booking and the concept behind these pre-emptive pieces. This is the follow up to my fantasy-booked play-by-play for Royal Rumble 2014, WrestleMania XXX: Part 1 andWrestleMania XXX: Part 2.

This is exclusive play-by-play of tonight’s Summerslam pay-per-view, but obviously it’s all made up. It’s not necessarily predictive, nor an indication of what should happen, merely a bit of fun. Previous entries in this series have been so well-received that I pretty much had to do this one. Obviously, if you’re not a fan of fantasy booking, this will not be for you. But thank you to anyone that does read, and I hope you will all enjoy the experience.

Make sure you leave your thoughts in the comments section below, whether you liked it, loved it, want to see more or think it’s a complete waste of time, I want to here from you.

I must warn you though, in the past these columns have built up expectations for shows which just couldn’t live up to what I’ve laid out. Sorry! On with the show!

Then. Now. Forever. Except the logo, that’s new.

The typically awesome production team treats us to a hype package for Summerslam, focusing on the WWE World Heavyweight Championship match between champion John Cena and challenger Brock Lesnar.

For the sixth straight year, we are LIVE in the Staples Center, Los Angeles, California for the 27th annual Summerslam!

Your hosts are Michael Cole, JBL and Jerry “the King” Lawler. We have our lumberjacks making their way to the ringside area as Cole throws us over to our Spanish announce team of Carlos Cabrera and Marcelo Rodriguez. Cole then sends us to a brief hype package for our opening match.

Mr. Money in the Bank Seth Rollins is out first and he’s ready. Dean Ambrose rushes the ring and the fight is on! Rollins is all over Rollins as the he enters the ring! Ambrose comes back with a flurry of right hands. Rollins is covering up in the corner but Ambrose is relentless. The referee creates some separation, and Rollins ducks to the floor, only for the lumberjacks to immediately toss him back in. Clothesline by Ambrose, and more rights. Rollins rolls out again and runs right into Big Show, who takes great pleasure rolling Rollins back in. Ambrose with a Thesz Press now and more right hands! Ambrose sets up for Dirty Deeds early, Rollins fights out and once again goes to the floor. He begs off from the lumberjacks, Ambrose has had enough and takes out Rollins with a suicide dive! The lumberjacks are wary of the lunatic fringe, so Ambrose rolls Rollins back in himself. Cesaro grabs Ambrose and gets dropped with a right hand! Ambrose back in but gets caught with a forearm smash. Rollins on the offensive now and puts the boots to Ambrose in the corner. Rollins looks for the triple verticals, gets one, Ambrose blocks the second and scores with one of his own! Ambrose wants three, Rollins blocks the second and hits his own second. Now Ambrose, blocks, and he gets two. They jostle to hit the third, Rollins breaks and hits a standing enzuigiri! Cover gets two. Rollins tosses Ambrose to the floor now. The lumberjacks help him up, Dean brushes them off but gets caught with a baseball slide from Rollins. Slater Gator look to roll Ambrose in side, he hits them with a couple of rights, Rolls with a SOMERSAULT PLANCHA! Rollins is down, Ambrose is down, the lumberjacks are down! Rollins is helped up by Rybaxel, they don’t want to throw him in. Rollins looks to send Ambrose into the steps, Ambrose runs up them and dives onto a couple of lumberjacks! Ambrose back in one side, Rollins the other, they clothesline the hell out of each other! Ambrose up first, Rollins from the mat drills Ambrose in the knee and hits the reverse STO into the turnbuckle! One… two… thr-NO! Rollins sits Ambrose up on the turnbuckle, facing the crowd. He goes up, he wants the reverse frankensteiner. Ambrose blocks and Rollins crashes and burns. Twisting crossbody from Ambrose! That gets him a near fall. Rollins rolls to the apron, Ambrose looks to suplex him back in but gets hung up throat-first on the top rope. Rollins springboards, misses the knee but rolls through, charges Ambrose but gets tossed back to the apron. Rollins connects with a kick from the apron, springboards and gets met with a dropkick! Ambrose covers again for 2. Ambrose sends Rollins to the corner and delivers the mounted punches. Rollins scoops him, runs across the ring and powerbombs Ambrose into the opposite corner! One… two… thr-NO! Rollins is frustrated, looks to toss Ambrose but he comes back with the clothesline off the ropes. Ambrose calls for Dirty Deeds, hits it! One… two… thr-NO! Cesaro puts Rollins’ foot on the bottom rope! The referee didn’t see it, but Ambrose did. Ambrose to the floor and drills Cesaro! Ambrose with the boots to Cesaro, some of the lumberjacks try to pull him away, so Ambrose decks them. Rybaxel attacks Ambrose, so the Usos jump them! Rollins off the apron with the diving knee to one of the Usos! Ambrose goes to the top, and dives off, wiping out a good chunk of lumberjacks. Ambrose grabs a chair and drills it into the gut of Cesaro! Ambrose has completely lost it, he drills each of Rybaxel with the chair too and lumberjacks are beginning to walk out. The referee gives up and throws the match out.

Winner: No Contest @ 10:45

Ambrose isn’t done and now he drills Rollins in the mid-section with the chair. Heath Slater takes Dirty Deeds on the floor! Ambrose in, he lines up Rollins for the suicide dive and gets cut off by a huge uppercut from Cesaro! The lumberjacks are getting the hell out of dodge with Rollins directing traffic. Cesaro’s in the ring, egging Ambrose on. Ambrose stumbles through the ropes but gets caught with a Curb Stomp from Rollins! Rollins and Cesaro stare down, Rollins gives the nod and Cesaro hits Ambrose with the Neutraliser. They exchange looks standing over a fallen Ambrose. Cesaro leaves Rollins to celebrate.

To the back and Renee Young is with Divas’ Champion AJ Lee. Before Renee can finish her question, Paige shows up. She hopes she and AJ can have a really good, competitive match, and may the best woman win. She offers her hand, Lee ignores it and says not to worry, she will win. Paige doesn’t understand AJ’s attitude, and asks if this is because AJ fell off the stage a few weeks ago. Maybe she hurt head and went cra… AJ with a right hand! She beats Paige through the backstage area, Paige tries to escape. AJ stalks Paige all the way out to the aisle way, and they brawl down to ringside. Paige begs off, but drop toeholds AJ into the ring apron! Paige rolls AJ in, and this is starting right now.

Paige gets 2 off a quick cover. She goes to work on AJ, sends her into the corner and hits a splash, follows up with a scoop slam. Paige skips around her fallen foe. AJ up, fires off with rights and a couple of clotheslines. AJ runs into a boot though. Cradle by Paige gets 2 more. Another clothesline by Paige, and AJ can’t get out of the blocks here. Paige hits a fisherman’s suplex and scores another near fall. Headbutts now from a vicious Paige. She tosses AJ to the floor and drives her into the barricade. Paige poses on the apron, so AJ trips her and Paige’s face bounces off the ring apron. Back in, AJ scores with a couple of dropkicks, and follows up with a swinging neckbreaker. And another. That gets AJ a 2 count. AJ looks to lock in the Black Willow, Paige elbows out, snap mares AJ and hits a low dropkick. Paige sets AJ up on the top rope and follows up, she wants a superplex. AJ fights back with rights, and sunset flips into a powerbomb! AJ stacks her up, one… two… thr-NO! AJ measures her opponent, looks for the Shining Wizard, Paige ducks, goes for the PTO, and has it locked in! AJ fights, she’s near the corner, and she manages to grab the middle rope with her teeth! Paige eventually breaks the hold just before the 5 count, she sets up for the Paige Turner, AJ spins out and lands a hurricanrana! Shining Wizard connects! One… two… thre-NO! Paige kicked out! AJ stalks her opponent, she wants the Black Widow, Paige begs off, she wants to be friends again. AJ grabs Paige by the hair, but Paige yanks her into the middle turnbuckle! Rolls her up, feet on the ropes and it gets 3! Paige wins the title @ 8:13!

Winner: And NEW WWE Divas Champion, Paige

Paige skips away with the title, AJ is pissed, and her head apparently hurts.

Our announcers pu over the chaotic start to Summerslam. We get highlights from the WWE 2K15 press conference and roster announcement this weekend, and the first full-length trailer for the game.

We get a brief hype video for Jericho/Wyatt.

They work a couple of tie-ups early, with Wyatt getting the advantage both times. Jericho to tries to wrestle with Bray but Bray’s having none of it and drops Jericho with a right. Bray misses a charge in the corner and Jericho lights him up with chops, which Wyatt merely laughs off. Reversal and now Wyatt chops Jericho. Jericho’s all “fuck that” and fires off with rights, then comes down with a double sledge to knock Bray off his feet. Jericho builds up some steam but gets flattened with that flying crossbody. Wyatt works in a nerve hold after gaining a near fall. Jericho up, looks to build momentum but gets cut off with a big ass uppercut from Bray. Running senton connects and gets another near fall. Wyatt beats on Jericho in the corner and quickly shuts down another attempted comeback. Delayed drop suplex now by Bray. Bray to the corner now and does his spider walk. Jericho don’t want none of that, so he hits a senton of his own on Bray mid-spier walk! Jericho to the second rope… missile dropkick connects! That gets 2! Wyatt rolls to the apron… Jericho springboards but gets caught by a massive shot from that taped thumb! Back in, Wyatt sets up for Sister Abigail, counters into a schoolboy from Jericho, into the WALLS OF JERICHO! He has it locked in! Bray’s too big though and quickly makes the ropes. Now Jericho connects with the springboard dropkick to send Wyatt to the floor. Jericho fires up the crowd and heads out, but Wyatt again catches him and murders Jericho with a ura-nage on the floor! Now it’s Bray’s turn to rile up the live crowd. Wyatt rolls Jericho in, sets up for Abigail, Jericho spins out, pushes Wyatt to the ropes and catches him coming back with a spinning heel kick! Lionsault attempt – Wyatt bridges into the spider-walk, so Jericho lands on his feet, falls on his ass and looks freaked the fuck out! Wyatt up, Jericho looks for the Codebreaker and hits it! One… two… thr-NO! Wyatt got a foot on the bottom rope. Jericho tries again for the Walls, can’t get Wyatt turned, Bray kicks him off and Jericho narrowly avoids a collision with the referee. Wyatt looks for a splash in the corner, Jericho avoids it and again, Wyatt has to put the brakes on to avoid hitting the official. Jericho looks for another Codebreaker, Wyatt catches him and hits an atomic drop! Sister Abigail connects and that is all she wrote @ 12:20!

Winner: Bray Wyatt

In the back, COO Triple H tells senior official Mike Chioda that there must be a winner in tonight’s main event between Cena and Lesnar, even if he has to relax the rules a little. Chioda understands, but he points out that an official hasn’t been assigned to the Brie/Stephanie match. Triple H reassures him that he will take care of it.

The winner is the first person to grab their country’s flag. The flag’s are pretty damn high. This goes about how you would expect. They exchange blows early. Swagger gets the upper hand briefly but a distraction from Lana allows Rusev to take over. Rusev drops Swagger with a couple of big power moves before heading up for the flag. Swagger heads him off but gets dropped once more with an uppercut. Rusev goes up again, Swagger decides to bust out the Razor’s Edge! He drills Rusev with it and starts to climb himself. Rusev manages to grab an ankle, Swagger tries to kick him off, but that doesn’t work. Both men up to the top now, exchanging right hands. Swagger drills Rusev’s head off the pole and Rusev crashes to the mat! Swagger has a clear route! Oh, but there’s Lana on the apron causing the distraction yet again. Rusev over now and crotches Swagger on the top rope. Both men crash back down to the mat. They begin to crawl to their respective corners, Swagger realises he’s behind the 8-ball and has to stop Rusev, who’s half way up. Swagger picks the ankle, pulls Rusev off and locks in the Patriot Lock! Rusev fights and eventually manages to kick Swagger off. THRUST KICK to Swagger! Rusev locks in the Accolade! Swagger fights, he eventually gets up to his knees and to his feet with Rusev on his back! He drives Rusev into the corner to get the separation. Swagger becomes the first man to break the Accolade! Rusev slumps in the corner, Swagger crawls toward the opposite side of the ring where Old Glory flies. He’s there, but Rusev is already in his corner and he goes up. Lana heads to Swagger’s corner again but Colter heads her off! Rusev up, Swagger up. Swagger retrieves his flag first and gets the win @ 7:42!

Winner: Jack Swagger

Rusev has his flag and is dismayed at the loss, so he drills Swagger in the gut with the Russian flag. Rusev has Old Glory now, and snaps it over Swagger’s back! Accolade re-applied! Swagger can’t fight, and ends up passing out. Rusev and Lana drape the American flag over Swagger and raise the Russian flag high.

Video package for Orton/Reigns.

They waste little time and we are underway as they exchange right hands. Reigns gets he better of the exchange and drops Orton with a shoulder tackle. And another one. Reigns presses Orton over his head and drops him. Boots in the corner now, Orton wants a time out. Orton to the floor and stalls. Back in, Orton teases a test of strength but boots Reigns in the gut. After a couple of whip reversals, Orton scores with a dropkick. Garvin stomp time. Orton tosses Reigns out to the floor and follows, before whipping him into the steel steps. Orton tries to suplex Reigns on the floor, but he blocks and lands one of his own. Back in, Reigns fires off clotheslines then gets caught by Orton’s snap powerslam. Orton kills sometime with a chinlock. He at least adds the scissors to make it somewhat more interesting. Reigns looks to power out eventually, gets to his knees so Orton breaks the hold and drills Reigns with some forearms to the chest and face. Orton drops the big knee and gets a near fall. Orton slithers to the floor now and drags Reigns out, he wraps his arm around the ring post a couple of times. And the other arm. Orton boots Reigns’ prone skull. Orton feels he’s in control now and the crowd hates him. Orton slams Reigns in the middle of the ring and goes up to the top. Reigns recovers and meets him up there, they exchange blows, Reigns hooks him up, SUPERPLEX! Both men down. Reigns crawls into a cover and gets 2! Both men pull their way back up to their feet. They exchange rights, Orton hits his inverted headlock backbreaker and gets another near fall. Reigns up, Orton hits the Olympic slam! That gets yet another near fall. Orton hoists Reigns up with a gutwrench and drops him with an elevated neckbreaker! That gets another 2 count. Orton is running out of ideas at this point. He trash talks with the official, and then SPEAR! Reigns broke Orton in half, but Orton rolls to the floor and Reigns is down anyway. The referee counts Orton out to 7 before Reigns rolls out after him. Orton pops up and hits a back suplex onto the barricade though! Orton rolls Reigns in, stalks him for the RKO… RKO attempt, Reigns shoves him off, Samoan drop by Reigns. Reigns feels it. He wants the Superman punch – gets it! Crowd is rabid, Reigns wants the Spear… he sets for it, charges… RKO! RKO! One… two… thr-NO! Reigns kicked out! Orton’s in disbelief. Reigns crawls to the corner, Orton goes on the attack and Orton mounts the second ropes and fires off with right hands. Powerbomb by Reigns! Both men down. Orton crawls towards the ropes, so Reigns goes to the floor, looks for his dropkick but Orton avoids the contact and Reigns lands hard on the apron. Orton scores with the rope-assisted DDT. One… two… thr-NO! Another kick out by Reigns. Orton goes back to the Garvin stomp as he tries to figure out his next move. Orton up to the second rope now, flies off… SUPERMAN PUNCH! Spear time… Orton removes the middle turnbuckle bad, avoids the contact and sends Reigns into the exposed steel! RKO! One… two… three! Orton scores the big win @ 13:57!

Winner: Randy Orton

After the match, Randy Orton measures Reigns up for the punt… looks for it… SPEAR! Reigns stands tall.

Michael Cole thanks Flo Rida for the use of his song “Goin’ Down” featuring Sage the Gemini, Teddybears for their song “Sunshine” and Fozzy for the use of “Lights Go Out” from their new album Do You Want To Start A War, available now on iTunes.

Collar and elbow tie-up to begin. To the corner they go, Ziggler feigns a right hand, Miz covers his face so Ziggler school boys him for 2. Ziggler with a knee lift, shoots Miz off and connects with a dropkick! Miz rolls to the floor, he’s pissed that Dolph is attacking his face. Ziggler to the floor, chases Miz around ringside but gets caught coming back in. Miz hits a neckbreaker off the second rope. That gets 2. Miz goes to work on Dolph’s face now with right hands. Miz puts the boots to Ziggler and covers for 2 more. Miz sends Ziggler to the corner, Dolph goes up and over, looks for the Zig Zag but Miz counters by holding the ropes. Miz looks for the Figure Four, Dolph kicks him shoulder-first into the ring post. Another schoolboy gets 2 more. Miz misses wildly with a clothesline, Dolph with the jumping DDT! That gets another near fall. Dolph attempts a sunset flip, Miz rolls through and boots Ziggler square in the face. Miz drives Ziggler’s face into the mat. Miz mocking drops repeated elbow drops, but poses before the 10th allowing Ziggler to score another roll-up for 2. They exchange counters, and Miz scores with his backbreaker/neckbreaker combo. Miz looks for the Skull Crushing Finale, Ziggler rolls through, catches Miz and slaps on a Figure Four of his own! Miz fights, and he can’t believe Ziggler’s audactiy. Miz tries to break the hold, so Dolph lands a punch square in the face! Miz’s shoulders a down, and he narrowly avoids getting caught! Miz fights and crawls and makes the ropes. Both men up, Ziggler goes for a super kick, Miz avoids it and again covers his face, so Ziggler rolls him up for another very near fall! Ziggler charges Miz in the corner but eats a big boot. Miz to the second rope, looks a for a double axe handle but eats a Super Kick! One… two… thr-NO! Kick out at the last millisecond! Ziggler sets for the Fameasser, Miz avoids the contact, kicks Ziggler to his knees and hits the snap DDT! That gets Miz a near fall now. Miz again looks for the SCF, Ziggler counters and sends him into the turnbuckle, FAMEASSER! One… two… thr-NO! Ziggler doesn’t know what else he needs to do. He loks for the Figure Four again, Miz with the inside cradle, grabs the ropes but Ziggler kicks out! Ziggler with a clothesline now. He fires off with rights in the corner as Miz tries to cover his face. Miz complains to the referee, Ziggler wants to fight, and Miz with a low blow out of the eye of the official! Miz hits the Skull Crushing Finale! One… two… thr-NO! Ziggler kicked out! Miz apoplectic. He admonishes the referee. Ziggler pulls himself up in the corner, Miz is stalking him, he wants his trademark corner clothesline. Miz charges, Ziggler avoids the contact… ZIG ZAG! Ziggler stacks Miz up, one.. two… three! Ziggler wins his second Intercontinental Championship @ 9:03!

Winner: And NEW Intercontinental Champion, Dolph Ziggler

We get a message from the Summerslam sponsor, Totino’s Bold.

The next time WWE is on pay-per-view will be September 21st live from Nashville, Tennessee as WWE presents Night of Champions.

Highlights of the Brie/Stephanie feud.

Lilian Garcia announces your special guest referee for the following match, Triple H.

Brie Bella saw this move coming, so there’s someone here who will be in her corner. Daniel Bryan is here! LA is on their feet with a massive “Yes!” chant. Triple H warns Bryan to mind his business as Brie tackles Stephanie! Steph rolls to the floor as Triple H admonishes Brie, but she’s like “fuck that” and goes after Steph. Brie beats her around ringside and tosses her back in. Triple H stands in Brie’s way allowing Steph to hit her with a clothesline. Right hands and hair-pulling ensue as Stephanie gets the upper hand. Nikki Bella makes her way to ringside now. Stephanie tosses Brie to the floor and beats her down in front of Nikki. Nikki gets in Stephanie’s face, so Steph slaps her to he ground! Back in, Steph misses a clothesline and Brie connects with a pair of her own. Brie lands a dropkick and covers, and Triple H slowly counts to 2 before Steph kicks out. Brie is pissed. Stephanie rolls her up and Triple fast counts, but Brie kicks out. Steph goes for the Pedigree but Brie backs drops out of it. Brie to the second rope, and scores with a missile dropkick! Another cover, and another slow count. Bryan is pissed at Triple H, he tells him to mind his own business. As Bryan has Triple H distracted, Nikki slaps Stephanie! Bella Buster from Brie to Stephanie! Triple H flat out refuses to count this time. Bryan back up on the apron, he and Triple H have words and The Game sucker-punches Bryan! The Bellas switch, Twin Magic! Nikki grabs Stephanie, but she counters and hits Nikki with the Pedigree! Brie back and spears Stephanie! Triple H has no clue what’s going on, he admonishes whom he assumes is Nikki, but she slaps him, and Triple H stumbles around into KNEE PLUS! Massive “Yes!” chants now! Eventually, Charles Robinson storms the ring. Bryan helps Nikki up on the floor and they continue to “Yes!” along with the crowd. Brie stalks Stephanie, slaps on the MayBrie Lock! Stephanie has no choice but to tap @ 8:35!

Winner: Brie Bella

Post-match celebrations ensue.

Our pre-show panel picks their winner for the main event. Alex Riley backs the champion, Booker T and Christian think the Beast will have too much.

Typically epic hype video for Cena/Lesnar.

Cena rushes Lesnar as he hops up onto the apron during his entrance! No super special ring announcing here then. To the floor they go, match hasn’t even started. Cena takes the fight to Lesnar with rights and lefts to the body. Lesnar is covering up, he can’t get away from Cena. Double leg from Lesnar and he grounds Cena on the floor, elbow strikes and forearms now! Lesnar is vicious. He tosses Cena into the steps, Cena takes the Foley knees-first bump! Lesnar gleeful now, he hops in the ring and waits for the champion. Cena crawls in, the referee checks he’s good to go and we’re underway. Lesnar immediately on the attack dropping knees into the head of Cena. Brock stands Cena up in the corner, ties his leg up in the ropes and just kicks the crap out of it. Massive forearm smash in the corner now. Cena bitch slaps Lesnar! Cena ducks a right and goes on the assault. He takes Lesnar down and pummels him with right hands. Both men up, Brock misses a clothesline and Cena hits a shoulder tackle! And another! Side slam. “You can’t see me!” No 5 Knuckle Shuffle, instead Cena mounts Brock and pummels him some more! Lesnar tries to get out, Cena takes him down with a waist lock takeover. Cena with flurries of rights now riding Brock. Brock gets some separation and KILLS Cena with a clothesline! Cena tries to get up some Brock boots him in the end to send him to the floor. Lesnar out and strips off the announce table. Lesnar grabs one of the TV monitors, swing and miss, Cena has him up, Attitude Adjustment onto the announce table! Lesnar bounces off the table, which did not break! Cena tosses one of the announcers’ chairs on top of Lesnar! Cena takes a breather while he waits for Lesnar to crawl back up, then he absolutely drills him with a clothesline. Cena rolls Lesnar in an heads up top, he hits the diving leg drop! He tweaked the knee that Lesnar assaulted pre-match and can’t capitalise though. Both men up, Brock beats Cena to the punch, tackles Cena, roughs him up, yanks him back to his feet and LAUNCHES him with a German! More rights by Brock, he pulls Cena up and tosses him with an overhead belly-to-belly! Cena rolls all the way to the floor and Brock is back on top. Brock to the floor, pulls Cena up, F5 INTO THE RINGPOST! That was knee-first and Cena is fucked. Doctors immediately checking on Cena and the referee wants Lesnar to back off. Cena’s not having this match stopped. He refuses treatment, eventually crawls back in, pulls himself up and… F5! One… two… thr-NO! Heyman is shocked, but Lesnar laughs it off. As Cena begins to stir, Lesnar just kicks him square in the face. Lesnar heads to the apron now… he’s going up top… Heyman asks what the hell is Brock doing? HOLY SHIT SHOOTING STAR PRESS MISSES! Cena locks on the STF!! Crowd is going bat-shit crazy. Heyman is pleading for Lesnar to get to the ropes. Lesnar fights and crawls and eventually does wrap his fingers around the bottom rope. Both men exhausted. Cena up first, he wants the Attitude Adjustment… gets him up, Cena’s knee gives way and Brock slips off the back… KIMURA LOCK! Brock takes Cena down and he has it in tight! Cena fights back and tries to punch his way out but can’t. He powers up, Brock loses grip, Attitude Adjustment attempt, Brock with some vicious elbows to fight out. F5 attempt – Cena holds onto the top rope to avoid it. Cena slides off and goes low on Lesnar! Low blow by Cena! ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT! One… two… thre-NO! Lesnar kicked out. Cena looks lost. He looks to the official. Cena stares down Heyman, who gleefully laughs. “You can’t conquer the Conquerer!” Cena stalks Lesnar now, he’s just going to hit another AA. Lesnar up, stumbles round… kicks Cena’s knee out! F5! F5! F5! One… two… three! Brock Lesnar is your new WWE World Heavyweight Champion @ 28:43!

Winner: And NEW WWE Champion, Brock Lesnar

Heyman embraces Brock post-match. Lesnar snatches both title belts from the referee and celebrates as confetti starts to fall. Lesnar and Heyman leave the ring and start to head up the ramp, but as John Cena begins to stir in the ring, Lesnar has second thoughts and starts to come back. He tosses Cena to the floor and follows him out. Lesnar launches Cena across the announce table. Lesnar takes a moment to soak in the reaction of the crowd, Heyman screams at Lesnar to “END HIM!” Cena has a chair a drills Lesnar in the mid-section. Chair off the spine of Lesnar! CHAIR SHOT TO THE SKULL! Lesnar falls out into the front row. Cena is pissed. He poses with the chair, leaning on the barricade, but Lesnar pops up and grabs him in a rear naked choke. Lesnar pulls Cena into the crowd and they continue to brawl. A fan gets shoved on his ass in the process. CENA TACKLES LESNAR THROUGH THE BARRICADE! It’s absolute chaos at ringside as a host of referees, Jamie Noble, Dean Malenko, Fit Finlay and Joey Mercury run down. Cena’s up and has the chair again, the officials block his path, so he tosses Mercury into the ringpost, only for Lesnar to jump him again. Lesnar has the chair now, but Cena tackles him into the steel stairs. We’ve got half the lower card roster out here now separating the pair. They continue to jump each other round the ringside area, Cena is cut open badly. They roll into the ring, Lesnar continues to drive elbows into Cena as the roster tries to pull him off. They create some separation, Cena up and clotheslines Brock to the floor! We must have about 25 Superstars and officials stopping Lesnar from returning to the ring. Cena grabs the chair and stands tall in the ring. Cena slides out, he can’t get to Lesnar. Cena grabs Heyman! Cena’s got Heyman! He tosses him in the ring, follows and drills him with a stiff clothesline! Cena sets the chair up in the middle of the ring, scoops Heyman up… ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT ONTO THE CHAIR! That chair is fucked. Lesnar wants his belts. He holds them both high at the top of the ramp as his music plays. A bloodied John Cena wants to finish this, but we fade to black. Yes, the knee-injury was no sold during the post-match fight.