Random Network Reviews: Cyber Sunday 2006

Cyber Sunday 2006
November 5th, 2006 – U.S. Bank Arena in Cincinnati, Ohio – Attendance: 7,000

Around this time in history, the WWE was producing something like 14 Pay-Per-Views a year. I mean, you had this at the start of November, but they still had to air Survivor Series, Armageddon and December to Dismember. Four PPVs in two months is hard to do. This is the first of three Cyber Sundays, and I don’t know why the WWE went away from this. They may not have been my favorite shows but it’s a perfect show for the WWE App they like to plug so much. Cyber Sunday ’06 also gets the distinction of being the first show from this year that I get to review.

Our opening video package actually shows the entire card and quickly runs down what the fans can choose tonight. Nothing special, but I always thought the Cyber Sunday concept was a good one. Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler introduce the show and the Spanish announce team. Someone is going through the table.

Kane vs. Umaga w/ Armando Estrada
Todd Grisham and Maria, who looks fantastic tonight, are the hosts and they announce who the fans chose to face Umaga. Kane had 49%, Sandman had 28% and Chris Benoit had 23%. Why did so many more people vote for Sandman over Benoit? Benoit/Umaga could have been great. The two brutes trade blows in the early goings. Umaga gains the upper hand and starts to choke Kane but the crowd helps him rally with a big boot. Umaga doesn’t go down and hits a downward spiral. I will always call it that. Umaga impressed with a second rope headbutt even though Kane was three quarters across the ring. He hits the big running ass splash, but misses a Samoan Spike outside and hits the ring post. Kane uses that opening to send him into the steps and elbow him. Inside, Kane has the undefeated Samoan reeling, splashing him in the corner twice. Umaga gets Kane down but he sits right up and goes for a Chokeslam. Umaga blocks but ends up getting back suplexed. Kane goes up top, Estrada tries to stop him but is knocked down and as Kane leaps off, Umaga nails him. Once he gets up, the Samoan Spike puts down Kane.

Winner: Umaga in 8:39
A decent big man brawl. There was nothing pretty about this and it wasn’t special, but it got Umaga over. It was a bit too dull though. *½

Your ECW Champion Big Show is strolling backstage when Queen Sharmell comes to him to politic for tonight’s main event. Big Show declines her partnership proposal and nearly quotes the Rock.

Fatal Four Way Texas Tornado Match
Cryme Tyme vs. Charlie Haas and Viscera vs. The Highlanders vs. Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch
What the fuck was going on with the Raw tag team division? Fans voted for this to be Texas Tornado over Turmoil or normal Fatal Four Way. At least it gives us an excuse to see Maria bounce around. Once the match type is announced, all four teams go after each other. Also, we are two matches in and I’ve already seen four guys (Benoit, Umaga, Cade and Vis) that have passed away. There is not much to note as everyone is just brawling. JTG chooses to taunt instead of helping Shad, but Shad recovers and they work a double team on Vis. Cade breaks up the pin, so he and Murdoch can double team Shad. Highlanders come in and do their double team. Rory and Robby do stereo dives outside, which I did not expect. JTG and Haas do a sequence that ends with Haas hitting a German suplex. Vis does his grind but splashes Haas by mistake. Highlanders take him out before getting taken out by the Texans. Cryme Tyme knock them out and steal the finish because they’re criminals.

Winners: Cryme Tyme in 4:28
Two matches in and both could be considered filler. The crowd didn’t care for this as Cryme Tyme wasn’t really over yet. *

After the match, Cryme Tyme go over to commentary and make them fist bump them. It’s all a distraction so Shad can steal the laptop. This leads to the GREATEST BACKSTAGE SEGMENT OF ALL-TIME. Shawn Michaels is struggling to vote for the special referee tonight, so Triple H comes up to help. Trips say that Bischoff is controversial but also claims that DX doesn’t know controversy. This leads to Shawn flipping out because he did the thing in Montreal and knows controversy. He asks a nearby stagehand for his name and then superkicks him. “SEE? I JUST KICKED STAN!” He walks down the hallway and kicks more random people. See it. It’s hilarious.

WWE Intercontinental Championship
Jeff Hardy (c) vs. Carlito
Carlito wins the vote over Shelton Benjamin and Johnny Nitro, 62% to 25% to 13%. A handshake comes before a relatively fast paced sequence with near falls. A fan makes a very loud remark about Carlito’s hair that comes off clearly. There’s still some heel in Carlito as he suckers Jeff in for a dropkick to the knee. A suplex follows before Jeff retaliates with a dropkick of his own. Carlito misses a springboard moonsault and eats Hardy’s innovative enziguri. Hardy follows with a baseball slide, but when he runs the guardrail, he leaps right into a dropkick. Carlito continues to have Jeff well scouted, countering the Hardyac Arrest with a kick. Sitout jawbreaker from Jeff but his Twist of Fate is blocked, leading to a near fall. The challenger moves to a bearhug like maneuver on the mat, to wear down Jeff. Jeff gets out before Carlito nails a flapjack for tow. It’s funny to hear Carlito shout “GO TO SLEEP” while he puts Jeff in a sleeper variation. Jeff starts his rally with a sloppy looking DDT and nice looking inverted suplex. He goes up top for the Swanton, but Carlito gets his knees up and the crowd reacts for that near fall big time. Springboard senton comes off odd and Carlito follows up with a springboard moonsault but only gets two again. He misses his next springboard move but shoves Jeff off on his Twist of Fate attempt. Jeff connects with the Whisper in the Winds for yet another two. Commentary keeps hammering home how evenly matched these guys are. Carlito tries a top rope hurricanrana, but the Champion blocks it and hits the Swanton to retain.

Winner and Still WWE Intercontinental Champion: Jeff Hardy in 13:22
I’ll admit, this started relatively slow but it picked up near the end. Lots of near falls and the story of Carlito having Jeff Hardy well scouted was greatly done. ***¼

D-Generation X vs. Rated RKO
I’d just to point out how awesome it is that a seemingly throw away episode of the Cutting Edge led us to Rated RKO. Eric Bischoff wins the vote to be special referee with 60% of the vote. Jonathan Coachman and Mr. McMahon each got 20%. I have no idea why he was an option though since I don’t think he was even relevant to the product at this time. Edge and Shawn Michaels start by doing basic stuff until Shawn pulls Edge’s pants down, giving the fans a full moon. Randy Orton was to see no part of that. DX goes to a double team with Triple H coming off the top but he decides against it and goes with a standing kick instead. The two teams trade their usual stuff in the early stages for a while. Edge tries a move off the top, but is caught with a kick and DDT by Triple H. Tag to Shawn, flying forearm, nip up and some inverted atomic drops. Shawn goes up and nails the elbow on Edge before tuning up the band. Orton trips him up and pulls him groin first into the ring post. Michaels now does what he does best and that’s play the face in peril. Bischoff has been surprisingly fair as a referee. Michaels nearly gets the hot tag but eats Orton’s signature backbreaker, which leads to Jim Ross wisely mentioning Shawn’s back issues. Edge gets the tag and goes for the Spear but HBK moves and he hits Bischoff. Hot tag comes and Triple H does his thing. Shawn hits a cross body to the outside on Edge, while Orton connects with the RKO on HHH. A new referee runs out a bit late, so HHH kicks out. He tries it again, but Trips shoves him off right into Sweet Chin Music! Bischoff is up and pulls out the new referee before the three. Michaels goes after him, but Edge meets him with a steel chair shot. He goes to do the same to Triple H and is met with a Pedigree attempt. Orton strikes him in the back with the chair, followed by an RKO on it for the win.

Winners: Rated RKO in 18:11
Good tag match. These are four guys who usually deliver and this was solid but nothing spectacular. Big win and the right guys went over. ***

A short video package for the awful Marine movie is shown. Edge and Randy Orton are walking backstage, bragging about giving DX their first loss since they reunited when Lita comes up to congratulate them before her match.

WWE Women’s Championship
Lita vs. Mickie James
After Trish Stratus won the Women’s Title from Lita on her last night at Unforgiven, she retired with the belt and this is the finals of the tournament to determine a new champion. The fans have decided that this will be a Divas Lumberjack match, which was obvious since the ENTIRE DIVAS DIVISION came out to ringside before the bell. It beat out submission and No DQ. As soon as the bell rings, Lita tosses Mickie outside and she has to fight off the Lumberjills. The face Divas start a “Mickie James” chant. She snaps off an arm drag before hitting a dropkick, causing Lita to cower in the corner. She forgets the stipulation as she tries to go outside for a breather but is met by angry divas. She does hit a nice snap suplex for two inside. I’m not one that gets very upset about the product being PG, but the main thing I miss from it is Mickie James and her skirts. Lita applies a rear naked choke, which Mickie surprisingly reverses into a cross Armbreaker but she reaches the ropes. Both ladies fall outside and get jumped. They get rolled back inside as Mickie tries a tornado DDT into the turnbuckle but it gets botched. Lita tries a rollup with her feet on the ropes but Candice knocks them off. Mickie’s rollup only gains two and she runs off the ropes, only to be tripped by Victoria. She kicks her but turns right into a solid looking DDT that ends this.

Winner and New WWE Women’s Champion: Lita in 8:07
They got a good amount of time and did okay with it. I have to give them credit for incorporating the Lumberjills in and making this work. **

The Spirit Squad is backstage, getting pumped for the match until Kenny Dykstra comes in and yells at them, basically saying he does all the work. Johnny gets mad at him and they get into a shoving match, but things calm down. Remember when Kenny was supposed to be the breakout star?

World Tag Team Championship
The Spirit Squad (c) w/ Other Members vs. Ric Flair and Roddy Piper w/ Sgt. Slaughter & Dusty Rhodes
Roddy Piper won the vote to be Flair’s partner over Dusty Rhodes and Sgt. Slaughter. Bobby Heenan would be pissed at this combo. “IT’S NOT A KILT, IT’S A SKIRT!” It’s pretty awful to look at Flair and Piper in trunks. Kenny and Flair start, leading Jim Ross to compare this to Michael Jordan vs. LeBron James leading me to question how he still had a job here. Piper ends up getting Mikey in the sleeper and I question why Mikey was working when Nicky, or Dolph Ziggler, and even Johnny were superior. The Squad are disrespectful and work Piper over for a bit. The Champs misfire on a double team, allowing the hot tag. Flair chops both guys and gives out short punches galore. The old folk actually work a double suplex before Flair applies the Figure Four. Kenny breaks it with that impressive leg drop though. That doesn’t matter as Flair shortly locks it back in and Mikey taps.

Winners and New World Tag Team Champions: Ric Flair and Roddy Piper in 6:55
Well the title change got a damn good pop from the crowd. It was clear that the Spirit Squad wasn’t going to be a lasting gimmick but it should have been Cryme Tyme to take the belts from them. The match was as good as these guys could do. *¼

The Spirit Squad jump in only to be taken out by the legends. This leads to a celebratory party that involved Sgt. Slaughter dancing. Backstage, King Booker attempts to coerce John Cena into a partnership for the main event. Booker fucking NAILED this character. “I WILL SEE YOU IN THE COLISEUM!” Cena agrees, but only if he can have Queen Sharmell for a night. Booker agrees, to the surprise of Cena. He shouts at Booker, who turns into a normal and not royal dude, telling him to keep it down so his wife doesn’t hear.

World Heavyweight Championship
King Booker (c) w/ Queen Sharmell vs. ECW Champion Big Show vs. WWE Champion John Cena
Our final view of Maria makes me sad, but it does inform us that the World Heavyweight Title will be on the line. 67% to Big Show’s 21% to Cena’s 12%. Booker instantly goes to partner with Cena, even though that just failed before the match. He gets knocked outside, allowing Big Show to pound on Cena for a while. Booker enters and also gets beaten down by Show. Show nearly gets a pin but Cena breaks it up. They continue to play the “Show is dominant” stuff until the other two clothesline him outside. They go at it with some near falls. Show grabs steel steps but is tripped up by Cena and he lands face first on it. Book end only gets the King two as does a thrust kick. Cena comes back with a belly to belly that looked rusty. Like he needed to be oiled it was so slow. He then counters a sleeper into a back suplex variation for two. Booker goes for a Scissors Kick, which is dodged before he counters an FU into a DDT. STFU is blocked and Booker goes Roddy Piper with a thumb to the eye. Finally, Big Show is up and he gets Cena on his shoulders. Booker dropkicks both men down. They try to double suplex Show, who suplexes them instead and is back to dominating. Chokeslam for Booker and a Spear for Cena follows Cena and Show go at it outside, with Cena winning out before he comes inside and hits his trademark bunch of moves. Show tries to bring a chair in but Cena drives it into his face. Five Knuckle Shuffle connects so Sharmell tries to attack. Cena lifts her and drops her with an FU. WHAT KIND OF A FACE IS HE? The sloppy STFU is applied until KEVIN FUCKNG FEDERLINE comes out. Yes, K-Fed. He hits Cena with the World Title to break the hold, which allows Booker to hit Cena with it also. He covers and it’s over.

Winner and Still World Heavyweight Champion: Booker T in 21:05
Actually kind of dull despite being three guys that know how to work. It seemed like they were all going through the motions and seeing K-Fed is never good. **

3.5

The final score: review Bad

The 411

While I admit that I like the concept of the fans picking the matches, it didn’t turn out well here. Maybe it’s the fact that the choices aren’t made until the last minute that things don’t get a proper chance to build correctly. All I know is that there were only two things worth checking out, which were the Intercontinental Title and the DX/Rated RKO matches. Also, Sgt. Slaughter dancing and Maria being Maria. K-Fed being around makes it even worse though.