wrestling / Video Reviews
The Name on the Marquee: Starrcade ’87: Chi-Town Heat: Glory Bound (11.26.1987)
Loading...-I originally wrote this review nine years ago, based on the home video release. So what follows is basically the same review, but now watching the WWE Network version. So I’ll modify this as needed, but not re-writing the recaps of the matches because if Dusty applies a chinlock in the version I’m watching in 2018, that means Dusty applied a chinlock when I watched it in 2009. And now the part where Adam of nine years ago regurgitates all the history you probably already know.
-So your background info, and there’s actually quite a bit of it to go into for this show…Bill Watts’ UWF was losing money left & right due to the oil industry going dry in his part of the world, so he had to sell the promotion. Vince McMahon shockingly passed on the chance to buy, so Watts sold the company to Jim Crockett, and Crockett subsequently did stupid things left & right…
-He moved his entire operation from the Carolinas to Dallas, TX, since Bill Watts’ office space came with the deal. Of course, everybody else in the company was pretty well rooted in the Carolinas, which meant everybody now had to start making constant plane trips back & forth to Dallas, which caused a bit of financial bleeding.
-He does an NWA vs. UWF “cross-promotional feud” that amounts to the NWA dominating and Jim leaving UWF for dead while scooping up their top stars and having them jump ship to his side…actually, truth be told, now that I have all the TBS viewing under my belt, this wasn’t even an interpromotional feud. He just swooped up all the UWF talent, left it to die, and then suddenly decided out of nowhere to do a TV Title unification match as a the singular event in this alleged interpromotional feud.
-He wants the NWA to look big-time, so he begins spending money left & right, even when he’s clearly running low. According to Ric Flair’s autobiography, he somehow managed to charge a series of business dinners to his brother David’s credit card without David knowing about it. Also, there are the infamous stories of Jim and Dusty making insanely wasteful trips on a new toy, a private jet.
-He uproots Starrcade from its home turf for 1987 and moves it to Chicago for a bigger feel. Problem is, Chicago doesn’t give SO much of a damn about the NWA or the UWF, so live attendance is underwhelming.
-There was one other thing about this show that didn’t go Crockett’s way, but this one he had no control over. He decided it was time for the NWA to arrive on PPV, which had strictly been WWF territory up to this point. Vince McMahon, in turn, announces he’s starting a new show called “Survivor Series” to air Thanksgiving night. The initial reaction of the cable companies was rainbow-shitting, because they took it to mean they could air both shows and Thanksgiving Day would forever forward become “Wrestling Day” in America. Vince then revealed he had something else in mind and told the cable companies that if they aired Starrcade, they wouldn’t get Survivor Series, AND he’d leave them left out for Wrestlemania IV. And since Wrestlemania III had been a cash cow, that made the cable companies a little nervous. In fact, it even led to a staring contest that Crockett ended up losing with regards to the start times of the two show. Crockett moved Starrcade to an afternoon start time, and the WWF still played hardball and wouldn’t let cable companies show both. Crockett salvaged things a little bit by getting 100 closed circuit locations booked, but PPV was a losing battle before the show even started.
-Originally aired Thanksgiving Afternoon/Early Evening, 1987.
-We’re in Chicago.
-Your hosts are the debuting Jim Ross & the already-here Tony Schiavone. Crockett sprung for a big fancy desk for them to sit at when they’re on camera and it actually looks like WWE’s modern pre-event shows.
MICHAEL “P.S.” HAYES, GORGEOUS JIMMY GARVIN, & STING (with Precious) vs. LARRY ZYBYSKO, EDDIE “Hot Stuff” GILBERT, & RICK STEINER (with Baby Doll)
-So the next big thing is somewhere in there and the crowd that IS there is already pretty psyched about him. (There is just a cringe-inducing wide shot at the bell revealing an awful number of empty seats very close to the ring.) There’s a story here, which they didn’t even really address on TBS, which is that Sting and Eddie Gilbert used to be tag team partners. Your referee is Old Guy in Illinois Who Always Wore a Different Uniform from the Other Referees.
-Steiner gets the early advantage with shoulderblocks on Sting. He tries another one and Sting dodges, causing Steiner to fly out of the ring onto the concrete. Sting follows him out there with a tope. Back inside, he connects with a missile dropkick, and a donnybrook breaks out. Heels are Irish whipped into each other and Sting & Hayes clear the ring. Back inside, Hayes tags in and works the arm of Steiner. Garvin backdrops Steiner and Larry hesitantly tags in. “Larry sucks” chant goes up, but only because this crowd has never sat in a car with him for three hours. (A cousin of mine once had to drive Larry from an airport to an indy show in the middle of nowhere, and had stories for DAYS after the experience.)
-Larry gets pinballed in the face corner and Hayes comes back in with a hard elbow. Gilbert tags in and he gets hammered too. They go to work on Gilbert’s arm now until he manages to slam Sting. Gilbert tags in Steiner and he walks right into an armdrag. Garvin comes in with a sunset flip for two. Larry tags in and apparently beats the shit out of Garvin while the camera stays needlessly fixed on a shot of Precious reacting. That was a staple of the NWA in the 80s, they never got that there was a right & wrong time to cut away from the ring. (Count of one…count of two…CROWD SHOT!)
-Gilbert tags in and misses an elbow. Steiner is able to attack Garvin before he can make the tag. Vicious powerslam gets a two-count. Bearhug is clamped on but Garvin won’t say die, so Steiner whips & charges. He misses the charge, but Larry’s in there in time to trap Garvin with an abdominal stretch. Garvin hiptosses free and hot tags Sting. Sting takes control until Gilbert takes advantage of some distraction to throw Sting over the top rope and onto the floor. Back inside, Gilbert suplexes him for two. Dr. Tom Miller gives a three-minute warning to go ahead and give away the finish as Steiner clamps a Stinger onto the sleeper…er…wait…
-Sting breaks it, so Larry hurries inside to try to finish him off and he just crashes into the turnbuckles. Double tags bring in Hayes & Gilbert and a donnybrook erupts yet again. Hayes bulldogs him for a two-count when Larry gets a foot on the ropes. Hayes tries a sleeper of his own and Gilbert comes off the top with a double-axehandle to break that. Larry tags in Steiner, who reacts to the 45-second warning with a bearhug. He hits a belly-to-belly at 30 seconds for two. Gilbert comes in and immediately gets caught in an inside cradle for two. Everybody brawls and pisses around until the time limit expires for the draw at 15 minutes. 1 for 1. Textbook opener, with the faces doing a lot of crowd-pleaser moves and a good heat segment.
-Missy Hyatt stands in front of a stupid-looking stylized NWA logo and promises there will be more matches tonight. There had damn well better be, that’s the entire point of the show!
UWF WORLD TITLE: STEVE “Dr. Death” WILLIAMS (Champion) vs. BARRY WINDHAM
-They shake hands and then criss-cross. Williams hiptosses Windham, then presses him to show off when he should slam him. Windham is able to wriggle free as a result and rolls him up for two. They attempt amateur moves and neither man is able t get an advantage. Windham starts to go to work on the arm as a “boring” chant threatens to erupt. They both spill out to the floor and threaten to brawl, but instead they shake hands and go back inside without incident. Back in, Barry takes the doctor down with a gutwrench suplex. Williams clamps on a side headlock. Windham tries to break with a back suplex, but Williams hangs on. Windham tries to snapmare out and Williams still hangs on. Crowd is getting VERY restless by this point.
-They completely blow a roll-up/reversal spot, then Williams tries to leapfrog Windham, and since Barry is ridiculously tall, he can’t clear the leap and skull meets balls. Williams is sucking wind and the crowd suddenly cares about the match only because of that spot. Windham has an opportunity to take advantage, but they’re both faces so he won’t do it. So we wait…and wait…aaaaaand wait…for Williams to get back up. Windham takes him down and applies a side headlock. Williams counters with legscissors, but because of the leapfrog, he can’t hold on tight, so Windham gets out easily. They bounce off the ropes and Williams dodges him and Windham goes over the top, face-first onto a table, and down on the floor.
-Windham staggers back inside, and Dr. Death refuses to return the favor and rolls him up immediately to retain the title. Crowd doesn’t care for that. 1 for 2. Very sluggish match, aside from the two key spots in the bout. This was supposed to be the beginning of a Dr. Death heel turn, but that didn’t happen. The UWF Title was promptly forgotten about.
SKYWALKERS MATCH: MIDNIGHT EXPRESS (U.S. Tag Team Champions, with Jim Cornette & Big Bubba Rogers) vs. ROCK & ROLL EXPRESS
-Yayyyyyyy Scaffold Match! And it’s non-title, so it’s not even really FOR anything. I once had the chance to meet Bobby Eaton when he worked an indy show where I was ring announcing, and in the dressing room I asked him, “How do you take a fall in a scaffold match without shitting yourself in terror?” Bobby looked right at me and said, “You don’t. You ever noticed I wore black tights for those matches? There’s a reason.”
-Bubba attacks Ricky Morton as he’s about to climb the scaffold and just hammers away at him (and Chicago LOVES Bubba for that), so it’s just Robert Gibson against the Midnight Express on top. Morton recovers and gets his hands on Corny’s loaded racket. He takes care of Corny & Bubba with it (and Chicago LOVES Ricky for that, so apparently Chicago just strongly prefers to see stuff happening after the last match), then heads up to the scaffold and smacks the MX to and fro. Tony tries to explain the logic of dragging out a scaffold match instead of just tossing your opponent off right away.
-Bobby whips out some salt and throws it into Morton’s eyes. From there, they just keep throwing punches for a while. Bobby gets his hands on the racket and goes to work with it, but Gibson pries a metal rod loose and whacks him with it, causing him to drop the racket. Corny throws it back to him and Eaton goes to work while Stan nearly falls off the scaffold. Ricky blocks him from coming back up with eye gouges and punches. Gibson gets the racket back and smacks Eaton down. Stan is now swinging from the underside, but he can’t hang on and he falls to the ring. Ricky spanks Bobby with the racket until Bobby starts to dangle, and Robert just kicks at his chest until he falls off. Rock & Roll Express gets the win. God help me, 2 for 3. Yes, I actually enjoyed this and will declare this the best scaffold match ever, although note that it took weapons and shenanigans on the floor. I have no interest in seeing if it can be topped, though.
-Bubba climbs the scaffold to try to attain some revenge, but Ricky bag tags him and runs away. My hero. This actually led to Bubba’s departure from the company a few weeks later, as everyone got their checks for Starrcade and Bubba got significantly less than everyone else, with Crockett justifying the lowball because Bubba didn’t take a bump off the scaffold. Bubba’s retort was that he could have and would have, but nobody told him to. So, with Bubba feeling cheated out of a payoff, followed by feeling like he got a demotion from UWF Champion back to Cornette’s bodyguard, and with him quite obviously having the body type of Guys Who Get a Main Event Run Against Hulk Hogan, even Jim Cornette was encouraging him to jump to the WWF.
-Bob Caudle talks to Michael Hayes, Jimmy Garvin and Precious. It’s a weird one promo, because Jimmy won’t shut the hell up and Hayes is trying to get in and say something.
-Dr. Death steps in and gives Barry Windham his due, but Barry had a chance to capitalize on a mistake by Williams earlier in the match and he didn’t take it.
TELEVISION TITLE UNIFICATION: NIKITA KOLOFF (NWA TV Champion) vs. TERRY TAYLOR (UWF TV Champion, with Eddie Gilbert)
-Terry has some GREAT entrance music. Quick armdrag by Taylor to start. Side headlock is applied and Taylor shoulderblocks him. Taylor backs him into a corner and breaks cleanly. Taylor tries an arm wringer and Nikita no-sells and reverses. Taylor tries to escape and Nikita just yanks him back inside and hangs onto an armbar. Taylor headbutts free, but Nikita rams him into the turnbuckle and goes for the arm wringer again. He no-sells Taylor’s punches and applies the hammerlock. Taylor gets a leg to the rope and goes outside to rest up. Back in, slaps and punches are traded. Nikita backdrops him for two. Terry runs to the floor, but gets yanked back in by the hair. Nikita whips and charges, but Taylor gets a high knee and tries a Flair pin, but only gets two. Taylor gets desperate and goes to the eyes. Nikita still won’t give up on the armbar.
-Taylor headbutts free, but Nikita no-sells his punches again. He Irish whips him and follows with the Russian hammer and a chokehold. Taylor dodges the sickle and Nikita crashes head-on into the turnbuckles. He goes out to the floor and Taylor is all over him. He works the arm on the post. Gilbert gets some choice interference in while Taylor jaws with the referee. Taylor goes back to work on the arm and tries to finish with a sunset flip, but Nikita punches loose. Taylor gets an inverted atomic drop and tries to finish with a foot on the ropes. The referee refuses to count and Taylor argues with him, giving Nikita an opening to roll him up for two. Taylor tries a piledriver and Nikita backdrops free. Taylor tries to rest but Nikita chases him around and back into the ring. Camera totally misses Gilbert clipping Nikita’s knee with a chair on his way back in, and Taylor clamps on a figure four, using the ropes and Eddie Gilbert for added leverage. Referee catches him and they argue while Gilbert attacks Nikita. Nikita suddenly gets pissed and starts to fight it out with him, That brings Taylor over, but he crashes into Eddie, and Nikita rolls him up for the three-count to unify the belts. 3 for 4. Crowd came unglued for that finish. Once Nikita got warmed up, it got good. Also, his weiner stayed tucked in this year, so that’s worth a point.
WORLD TAG TEAM TITLES: ARN ANDERSON & TULLY BLANCHARD (Champions, with James J. Dillon) vs. ROAD WARRIORS (with Paul Ellering)
-The Warriors are, of course, billed as hailing from Chicago, so the fans are already stoked about the impending title change.
-Arn tries a side headlock and Hawk just yanks his arm back, then down onto the mat, where he drops a leg on it. Arn goes outside to rethink things and taunt Paul Ellering. We stop everything to break up the impending manager brawl. We’ll see if we can break it up when we return with more of Saturday Night’s Main…no, wait…
-Tully tags in and gets clotheslined down hard. He goes to the floor and Animal press slams him back inside. Tully calls it a night and walks away, but Hawk goes after him and tosses him back in. Dropkick by Hawk gets two. Animal tags in and Irish whips Tully, but runs into a boot. Tully goes up top, but gets caught and powerslammed for two. Arn tags back in, and we get a great reaction as he immediately looks at Animal like he’s thinking, “Why did I do that?”
-Arn gets some jabs into the stomach of Animal, but eats a clothesline with extra biscuits. Hawk tags back in and spits at JJ, then bearhugs Arn. Tully runs in and suddenly it’s a 2-on-1 assault, but a clothesline by Hawk stops that cold. He press-slams Tully into the waiting arms of Animal, and he rocks Tully back & forth while Hawk punches him from the apron. Tully tries to mount some offense, but Animal is just all over him with chops and clubbing blows. Arn tags back in and goes for a side headlock. Animal whips him into the ropes and Arn goes to the floor, suspecting that Animal has something lethal in mind. Animal chases him and back in the ring, he press slams Arn. He tries to do the same to Tully, but Arn takes out the knee.
-Tully sees his opening and goes to work on the knee. Arn attacks on the floor to take advantage. Tully cracks the knee with a chair and back inside, Hawk falls into a DDT for two. Tully goes for a figure four, but Hawk rolls him up. Too close to the ropes, though. Blanchard finally gets the figure four applied. Hawk won’t submit, so he just gets fed up and tags in Arn. Hawk gets a low blow in and tags Animal. Animal starts to clean house, but Tully hooks his leg from the floor and trips him up. Brawl erupts and the referee gets bumped. Animal tosses Arn over the top rope as a second referee shows up to check on the first referee, and you know where this is going, right? Doomsday device and the Road Warriors get the three count from the second referee. Crowd pops huge, and then the first referee reveals that he saw Animal throw Arn over the top and gives Arn & Tully the match by DQ. 4 for 5, even though there was a Dusty finish. And by the way, if your top face tag team is challenging for the belts, and the show is in their hometown, and you don’t have the sense to know they should go over, you deserve whatever bad things that start happening to your livelihood.
-Jack “Who the Hell is Jack Gregory?” Gregory and Magnum TA are backstage. They agree that matches have happened and will continue to happen tonight.
-Bob Caudle gives big ups to Terry Taylor for being the opponent in the best match of his career. Nikita is incredibly excited that he has two belts now, and then promptly dumps the UWF belt on the floor.
-JJ Dillon declares Lex Luger the perfect athlete and that they have orchestrated a perfect plan.
STEEL CAGE MATCH FOR THE UNITED STATES TITLE: LEX LUGER (Champion, with JJ Dillon) vs. DUSTY RHODES
-So to recap, Lex, master of the torture rack, got into a feud with Dusty Rhodes, who had just perfected a hold called the Weaverlock, which seems like it would be leading toward a submission match, but nah. If Dusty loses, he has to leave for 90 days, which had everyone laughably calling this a career-ending match leading up to the event. Johnny Weaver is the keeper of the keys, he’ll put your mind at ease, he’s guaranteed to please, back by popular demand. And since cage matches usually don’t have an “official keeper of the keys,” I’m thinking this is going to come up during the bout. Also, I just want to say, it doesn’t help make the cage look secure from chicanery when the referee passes the belt to the ring attendant through a gaping space between the cage and the mat.
-Lock-up goes nowhere, and then Luger throws a flurry of punches. Dusty breaks loose with an elbow and then, horror of horrors, he does a muscleman pose. Dusty with Flip Flop & Fly, followed by an atomic drop. Dusty tries the Weaverlock for an early finish, but Luger makes it to the rope. Shoulderblock by Luger, but when he goes for another one, Dusty catches him in the Weaverlock again. Luger again makes it to the ropes.
-Snapmare by Luger, but he misses an elbow and Dusty locks in an armbar. Elbow by Dusty while keeping the armbar locked in. He switches to a wristlock and then a hammerlock, which is all clever psychology when your opponent’s selling point is being freakishly strong. Luger fights free but misses a charge and Dusty goes right back to the arm. Hammerlock by Dusty, and he stomps the elbow. Luger fights back and rams Dusty into the unforgiving steel. Dusty is busted open.
-Luger sends him into the cage again for two. Snapmare and an elbow get another two-count. Luger starts to attack the back and takes a breather to pose. Dusty comes back with a dropkick off the ropes, but he’s out of it and can’t follow up. Backbreaker by Luger to set up the torture rack, but in a hilarious moment, Dusty proves to be too much for Luger and Luger gives up and drops Dusty. Tony attributes it to Dusty using his “presence” (ahem) and shifting his weight with the assistance of his presence. Oh, if only Tony had been quick enough to think of “Dusty injured Lex’s arm to the point that he can’t lock in that torture rack!”
-Armbar by Luger, and he uses the ropes for some leverage. Dusty fights his way to his feet but gets yanked down by the hair. Luger backs Dusty into the corner and punches away, but Dusty hulks up. And it’s the NWA version of Hulking up, meaning he gives Luger the double-bird and yells “Fuck off!” Laugh all you want, it’s more realistic than pointing and saying “You! No more!” in mid-fight.
-Dusty clamps on the Weaverlock one more time and Luger can’t make it to the ropes, thanks to Dusty’s “leverage.” JJ coldcocks Johnny Weaver while Luger coldcocks the referee. JJ then launches a chair into the ring, which, honestly, he could have done without assaulting the official key-holder. Luger goes for the chair, but Rhodes acts quickly and DDTs Luger on top of the chair for the pin and the title. 8 for 10. Better than I really expected. Oh, and fun fact, Dusty was supposed to lose here and become “The Midnight Rider,” but he decided he’d rather win the title, and we had to wait a few more months for the Rider.
STEEL CAGE MATCH FOR THE WORLD TITLE: RON GARVIN (Champion) vs. RIC FLAIR (with JJ Dillon)
-Garvin was pushed to main event superstar and #1 contender out of nowhere in 1987 for the simple reason that Flair wanted to lose his title and win it back at Starrcade. He takes a lot of crap for that, but he ended up having some amazing chemistry with Flair, and I actually look back at this period and think they didn’t do enough with these two. Yes, it would have helped to delay the title win somewhat, even if Flair didn’t like the timing, but they could have had a memorable feud. Anyway…the main event…
-Actually, hold on, this is Adam in 2018. The previous paragraph was from nine years ago. I stand by what I said about their chemistry, but I didn’t realize at the time the depth to which the ratings and house show gates crashed after Garvin won the belt. And Garvin’s weekly promos about how he owned a truck, how he drove a truck, and how he sometimes used his truck to transport things he owned, and how he owned hats and jeans related to truck-driving didn’t endear him to common folk the way they were hoping. They took the belt off of Garvin the moment they could and they were right to do so.
-Flair is a heel, but the Chicago crowd loves him. Garvin backs him into a corner and breaks clean. Flair replies with a “Woooooo!” and the crowd loves him for it. Chops are exchanged, which was pretty much the hallmark of this feud, as these guys threw the hardest, tightest chops in the business, and pitting them against each other led to some of the loudest matches in history. “Garvin sucks!” chant erupts as Garvin latches onto Flair with a side headlock. Shoulderblock by Garvin and a few more chops take us to a Flair Flop. Elbow by Garvin, followed by an Irish whip into a backdrop and Flair begs for his life. Arm wringer and a headbutt by Garvin. 10 punches in the corner and another backdrop by Garvin, and this takes us to my brother’s least favorite maneuver in the world, the Garvin Stomp.
-Garvin slaps the shit out of Flair, and that takes us to another chopfest. Flair catches Garvin with a lowblow and a few folks in the crowd “Wooooo” for it. Inverted atomic drop by the Nature Boy and he throws chops. Snapmare and a kneedrop get a two-count. Flair works the leg and that leads, naturally, to a figure four. Garvin fights it and fights it, but Flair (and his friends, the ropes) show no mercy.
-Garvin reverses the hold, but Flair makes it to the ropes quickly to break things up. Flair goes right back to the offensive with stomps and kicks, but Garvin blocks an attempted ram into the cage and reverses another try to send Flair face-first into the cage. Another ram by Garvin and some cheese-grating is enough to lacerate the challenger. Garvin bites Flair to work the cut. A series of chops by Garvin and he slams Flair off the top rope to set up a figure four of his own.
-Flair writhes and wriggles his way to the topes to break the hold. Garvin goes to the top rope and nails Flair with a flying bodypress for two. Sunset flip gets two. Garvin keeps throwing chops and Flair tries to climb over the cage for a breather, but Garvin rams him face-first into the cage and Flair crotches himself in the ropes on the way down. Sunset flip by Garvin is blocked by Flair using the ropes, but Tommy Young catches Flair and kicks his arms away, and Flair barely kicks out at two. Garvin scores a knock-out punch, but Flair kicks out. Garvin goes off the ropes and charges toward Flair, but Flair catches him and falls backwards, sending Garvin face-first into the cage. Flair rolls him up immediately to win his fifth title. GREAT match. 6 for 7.
