WWWF All-Star Wrestling (5.13.1978) Review

-Originally aired May 13, 1978.

DINO BRAVO & DOMINIC DENUCCI (Tag Team Champions) vs. TANK PATTON & GOLDEN TERROR
-Quite a fall for the once-undefeated Tank Patton. Golden Terror acts so goofy during the intros that there’s no mistaking it, he IS Pete Doherty under that mask.

-Terror tries to get some offense and a leapfrog goes really wrong, as Dino can’t get enough air for it and Terror has no idea what to sell after being landed on. Vince snarks a little bit on Golden Terror being billed from the Amazon as Tank Patton tags in. DeNucci slams him and goes for a cover, but Patton does a nice kick-out, with legs so long that he can just kick DeNucci in the head from a prone position to get out of the pin.

-DeNucci slingshots Terror into a punch in the face from Dino, and they spin his mask completely around so Terror is blinded. Patton tags in and gets dropkicked. Terror tags in and digitized video reveals how damn dirty is yellow body stocking is as DeNucci tags in and finishes with an airplane spin. As squashes go, it was kind of fun.

GEORGE “The Animal” STEELE (with Captain Lou Albano) vs. GENE KRESPO
-School year’s winding down so George makes his return to the area. He plays hide-the-weapon with the referee before landing a few shots with it and then dumping Krespo on the floor. Back in, Steele keeps driving the weapon into Krespo’s throat, and the flying hammerlock finishes.

-Vince interviews Captain Lou, who explains that George’s tongue is green because of a pancreatic condition that causes him to secrete bile when angered. Vince actually seems impressed that Captain Lou came up with something like that on the fly.

YUKON LUMBERJACKS (with Captain Lou Albano) vs. SPECIAL DELIVERY JONES & CHARLIE BROWN
-No, not masked Jimmy Valiant. And honestly, that’s the only info I can give you about jobber Charlie Brown, there’s not much out there about him. There are some claims that he called the English teacher “Daddy-o,” but that’s about all I could dig up.

-SD punches Albano in the face before the bell, and I’m kind of amused by how often Albano takes bumps for jobbers. Jobbers trade off, working a side headlock on Pierre. Eric tags in and slams Brown down. Lumberjacks make easy work of him with boots and elbows. Brown, wondering “Why is everybody always pickin’ on me?,” finally escapes and tags in SD Jones, who unloads on Pierre and dazes him with headbutts, but SD makes the same usual strategy error he makes in tag matches and lets his partner back in, and the Lumberjacks put him away with a double clothesline.

SPIROS ARION (with Fred Blassie) vs. PETE AUSTIN
-Arion stomps Austin down in stomply fashion and chokes him out. Austin fights back with Irish whips. He gets a hammerlock applied, but Arion breaks out and applies the body vice to finish. Funny, as Austin is kind of a big guy and Arion clearly can’t do the hold correctly, so the referee calls for the bell pretty much as soon as he’s up in the air, and the bell sounds right as Arion loses his grip and drops him to audible laughter.

CHIEF PETER MAIVIA, HAYSTACKS CALHOUN, & LARRY ZBYSZKO vs. BUTCHER VACHON, STRONG KOBAYASHI, & MOOSE MONROE
-Larry whips Vachon right away. All of the heels take turns taking their bumps. Haystacks tags in and applies a gingerly full nelson on Monroe and rams him into the corner. Splash finishes.

-And it seems like they went home really early because the fans are filing out of the building as Vince waves Larry over for an interview, and Haystacks u-turns from the dressing room to go join him. Anyway, they want top competition, just so you know. Also, I love how there’s just NO security guards anywhere near the ring, and you can see fans fucking with the ropes and rolling on the mat before they head to the exit.

5.5

The final score: review Not So Good

The 411

Some fun stuff here and there but still just a squash show.