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Alcoholics and addicts everywhere, it is my hope you find the help you need!

-sips Jack-

It’s Monday…you know what that means.

We start the show IMMEDIATELY, with MizTV in the middle of the ring, but he’s not alone!

Paul Heyman is here with him! He cuts off The Miz, then introduces himself as the representative of the “Legendary” champion, Roman Reigns.

Miz thanks him for being here in this Wasteland of Kansas. He wants to talk about Money in the Bank. The winner has an 85% chance of cashing in successfully. The Miz has a 100% success rate. How did he do that? He waited for the perfect moment. IF the Money in the Bank contract winner plays his cards right, he or she will be able to catapult their career into mega superstardom. This person will most likely cash in on Reigns.

Heyman is aware of this, and this person shall fail in their attempt against Reigns, because no matter what the percentage rate has been in the past, when the champion is Roman Reigns, that rate goes down to 0.

This Friday, Reigns will defend the title against Riddle. It annoys Heyman so much that he went to management, and counseled them on a stipulation to make the stakes bigger.

Riddle is here to scoot scoot his way into our heart. He says he could be hearing voices, because he heard his name. He figured he’d come out and hear this news first hand.

Miz is pissed that Riddle interrupted him. They demand reverence and respect. Heyman would like some decorum. Riddle, young man, you’ve got some set of balls for interrupting. This prompts Riddle to ask how Miz’s pair is doing. As for Heyman, he talks a lot without saying anything. He doesn’t know Riddle, and neither does Reigns. They have no idea what he’s capable of. Riddle doesn’t care about the stips, because Reigns will have to kill him to stop him, Bro.

Heyman, tired of the schtick, says Riddle has a lot of momentum, all in the name of Orton, and that momentum will stop this Friday, by Reigns because Riddle cannot beat Roman Reigns. As a matter of fact, Riddle can’t even beat his opponent tonight after he hears the stipulation. On behalf of Reigns, the stipulation is:

If Riddle beats Reigns, Riddle wins the title. WHEN he loses to Reigns, Riddle will never get another shot at the title as long as Reigns is champion.

Heyman calls this “Do or Die,” so expect to hear that about 500 times between now and Friday. Heyman then introduces The Usos, and out they come looking to attack. Riddle tosses some chairs, getting ready for them, as Miz watches on. Looks like Riddle vs Jimmy tonight.

The Street Profits are her to even the odds!! Riddle is ecstatic. They slide into the ring to stand by their friend.

Ford vs Jimmy next!

Match 1: Montez Ford vs Jimmy Uso

LOCKUP! Ford get cornered. Jimmy with a chop, another, headlock takedown out of the corner. Ford stands, turns into the hold, hits the ropes, shoulder tackle from Jimmy sends Ford down hard. Ford back up, hits a dropkick, and Jimmy rolls out of the ring. Back in the ring, he hits a chop to Ford, then whips him hard into the corner, back first. Another whip sends Ford crashing into the corner hard. Whip, Ford with a quick switch, clothesline, dropkick! Cover! 1…2…NO!!!! Ford works the left arm from behind. Jimmy turns into the hold, Ford spins the arm, headbutt from Jimmy, chop to Ford in the corner! He sends Ford to the apron, Ford lands on his feet, right hand, Ford sends Jimmy into the corner head first. Shoulder off the apron, he tries to springboard, but Jimmy with an uppercut drops Ford. Jimmy to the apron, locks the head, he lifts up for a suplex on the apron!

We are back, and Jimmy drops Ford with a hard right hand to the chest. He covers for 1..2..NO!!! Jimmy cinches the waist from behind, Ford stands, breaks the lock, spreading the hands of Jimmy and turning this into a back suplex. Both men slow to get up, Jimmy rises first, tries for a right, Ford blocks, another block, a right, another right, whip to the ropes reversed and Ford hits a clothesline. Back suplex attempt but Rord lands on his feet. Kick to the gut, to the chest, a kick from Jimmy, uppercut, enziguri from Ford! Cover for 1..2..NO!!!!

Ford limps his way ot the corner, grabs Jimmy, gets whipped to the corner, selling the lowerback, hits a spinebuster to Jimmy! Cover for 1..2…NO!!! Kick from Jimmy, Ford catches, Enziguri from Jimmy!! To the ropes! Lift up! Samoan Drop! Cover for 1..2…NO!!!! Ford rolls to the apron, Jimmy follows him, grabs him by the head, Jimmy hooks up for a suplex, Ford escapes, high enziguri! Ford tries for a suplex, Jimmy blocks, shoves Ford into the post back first!!!! Jimmy rushes across the apron, but FORD MOVES OUT OF THE WAY!!! Jimmy hits the post, Ford slinks into the ring, pulls Jimmy by the head, locks up for a superplex, but Jimmy stops it!! Right hands to the back! Headbutt to Ford! Ford flies off. Jimmy on the 2nd rope. Ford hops up high, head scissors sends Jimmy off the top rope!!! Jimmy to the mat!

Ford climbs up high. FROG SPLASH! KNEES UP!!! COVER BY JIMMY!!!! 1….2……3!!!!!!

Winner: Jimmy Uso
A well fought battle with both men taking their time and focusing on Ford’s back. The sloppiness of that final head scissors was immediately forgiven after Jimmy pulled the knees up, making him out to be the smarter competitor this time around. Admittedly a little slow for the first half, but I understand what they were trying to do.
Total Rating: ***1/2
Match Time: 12:56

Recap of Seth Rollins attacking Cody last week. We’ll hear from him next.

Seth sits with Patrick to talk about last week. He said he meant everything he said last week, but Rhodes is a virus that has been plaguing the WWE since Mania. Sometimes in life, you must make unpopular decisions, and when no one is on your side, you take matters in your own hands.

Seth brings up a sledgehammer, and holds it in his hands while he says this.

Cody wanted to compete with a torn pec? No, in Seth’s WWE, it’s adapt or perish. So no, he feels no remorse. He takes pride in what he accomplished. The American Nightmare is over, and Monday Night Rollins is back.

So what’s next?

The Money in the Bank Contract.

In order to be in the match, he’s gotta beat AJ Styles. He expects a hell of a fight, but let’s be honest – AJ isn’t on Seth’s level. He lacks a certain killer instinct. If AJ wants to stand in Seth’s way, on his path, then he may have to do to him what he did to Cody.

Seth laughs maniacally…

Then AJ Styles comes in out of nowhere to clock him in the face and say, “That’s for Cody.”

After the break, Becky gets another shot at the 24/7 Title…

-eyeroll-

Becky makes her entrance with a note of frustration, lacking any real conviction or excitement, yet a whole lotta anger.

Before the official bell is tolled, Becky attacks Dana. She coners her with kicks, attacks the back, then sends Dana to the outside hard. Becky follows, grabs Dana by the head, and sends her into the barricade. She brings Dana to the announce table and slams her head into it, then stomps the top of the table onto the head of Dana. She wants a mic.

Becky says this was never about the 24/7 title, she can keep it. This is about the disrespect she’s been shown after her path of greatness was forged. But no, they fall into the potholes and cant climb out. She is different, though. She keeps climbing, and speaking of climbing…

She points towards the briefcases, says she is thinkin the last time she was in a Money in the Bank ladder match, she was robbed and cheated. This time, it’s her year. But right now, she’s got some more ass to kick.

She goes to attack Dana again, but here comes Asuka! She rushes the ring, but Becky is more than willing to meet her halfway, sliding in then out of the ring to attack Asuka. Asuka gets her to the apron and slams her head down a few times. Asuka tries to enter the ring, but Becky is in first and stomps her. Asuka with a clothesline, she lifts Becky, blocks a kick, hits a back fist, another, another, waist lock, GERMAN!

Becky rolls to the outside, pissed, and heads up the ramp.

Before Becky can even make it all the way up the ramp, the music of Alexa Bliss hits and she comes out with a wave and a smile.

WWE reminds us that Nikki A.S.H. won last year, and juxtaposes that with what she is currently doing, proving that the briefcase can also do jack and shit for you.

Match 2: Money in the Bank Qualifying Match
Alexa Bliss and Liv Morgan vs Nikki A.S.H. and Piper Niven

We start with Nikki in new black and gold gear. Bliss is there for the lockup. Nikki forces her down hard, then poses. Whip to Bliss, who cradles into a pin for 1..NO!!! She blcoks a right ,hits a right, dropkick to the face. Tag to Piper, and Bliss ducks under a charge, tries for a rana, gets a sloppy one, but Piper no sells it. She misses a right, Bliss hops into a clutch and Piper slams her down hard. Senton to Bliss, cover for 1…2..NO!!! Ouch. Body slam from Piper after a tag by Nikki, who runs in, hits reverse snapmare, cover for 1..2.NO!!! Nikki with a submission from behind. Bliss reaches for the hair, then stands and turns into the hol. Jawbreaker and Bliss heads to the corner. Nikki with a splash, then bulldog, but Bliss shoots her off! Liv wants a tag. Tag to Piper. Tag to Liv! Liv attacks the leg, kick after kick, and an enziguri, Piper still not going down, Liv bounces off the middle rope, knees to the face! Dropkick out of the corner. She dives off the 2nd rope with a dropkick! Cover for 1..2..NO!!!! Tag to Bliss. Bliss in with a seated blockbuster. Cover for 1..2.NO!!! Nikki there to stop the pin! Bliss locks the head, headbutt from Piper! She shoves Liv off the apron. Tag to Nikki. Nikki in, Piper lifts Bliss for a body slam, Nikki grabs the head to join the fun. Cover for 1..2.NO!!! Liv in to stop the pin. Piper grabs liv by the hair and body slams her hard on the outside! She then goes for a runnin senton, but Bliss moves out of he way!

Nikki kicks her from inside the ring. Bliss with a right, DDT TO NIKKI! Cover for 1..2…..3!!!

Winners: Alexa Bliss and Liv Morgan
Not bad for the time given, but also not much time was given for them to be bad.
Total Rating: **
Match Time: 4:25

We shift gears to Judgment Day and their turn on Edge.

Match 3: Ezekiel vs Kevin Owens

SUPERKICK FROM OWENS!!! Cannonball in the corner! Owens to the top rope! SWANTON BOMB! Cover for 1..2….NO!!! Zeke rolls to the outside, Owens follows and sends him into the barricade. Right hands to the back. Zeke with a reversal, sending Owens into the ringpost! He breaks the count then comes back out to hit some right hands to Owens over and over. He shoots Owens into the ring, follows, Owens slides to the apron. He hangs Zeke up, rolls back in, right into a spinebuster. Cover for 1….2..NO!!! Kick to the chest. Another.

We are back from a break, and Owens tries for a running senton, but Zeke has his knees up and Owens lands on them. Right hand from Zeke, from Owens, kick, whip from Owens, Zeke hops up and mule kicks Owens out of the corner. Owens ducks a right, Zeke catches, fallaway slam to Owens! Huge splash in the corner! Zeke locks the head, hooks, tries for a suplex, Owens escapes, kicks, tries for a Stunner! High knee from Zeke! ON the outside, owens shoves Zeke into the apron, Zeke fights back until he runs into the ringpost.

Zeke rolls into the ring as Owens argues with commentary that his name is Elias over and over until the ref hits 10, giving Ezekiel the win.

Winner: Ezekiel
As is true with most feuds in the WWE, this feels like its time has expired, and it’d be in their best interest to move on from it. So of course, they wont.
Total Rating: **
Match Time: 8:32

Zeke grabs a mic, says that he is so excited about Money in the Bank, that he will be here at RAW next week! Elias may have some age to him, but he is looking good. He can promise this: he cannot wait to remind the entire world that WWE stands for…

We are reminded of the time when MVP walked up to the Wizard Jericho and told him he was a crazy WASP.

Match 4: MVP vs Cedric Alexander

MVP puts his hand in the face of Cedric, talks to Omos, then turns into an attack. Cedric off the rope with a dropkick to the knee. Cedric rushes the corner, gets lifted over the top. High kick from Cedric, he hops into the ring with a DDT and a cover for 1..2.NO!!!! Cedric looks to hit the ropes, but there’s Omos to distract. MVP hits a clothesline. Throat thrust, then a knee to the face.

BAAAAALLLIIIINNNNN!!!!!!! Cover for 1.2..NO!!! MVP with a Playmaker! Cover for 1..2…3!!!!

Winner: MVP
Well, at least Cedric is always willing to give it his all.
Total Rating: NR
Match Time: 1:39

MVP orders Omos to murder Cedric.

Omos sends Cedric to the outside and stands tall.

AJ is backstage, unable to wait to beat Seth tonight. The MitB contract is the one thing that has alluded him, and he wants it now more than ever just to spite Seth Rollins. What he did to Cody made him sick. Seth Rollins is beneath him.

Seth is somewhere completely different, says he has a dedication for tonight. He dedicates his victory tonight to the American Nightmare himself.

Match 5: Money in the Bank Qualifying Match
AJ Styles vs Seth Rollins

AJ with the quick attack into the corner! Backslide for 1..2.NO!!! Seated pin for 1..2.NO!!! Right hand from Seth! A few more to the head. He stands, pissed off. Chop to AJ. He hits the ropes, AJ jumps up with a dropkick! AJ drops down to the outside! Kick from Seth! To the apron! Ref starts the count as AJ flies off the apron with a forearm! He sends Seth back in, follows, and stands above Seth. Kick from AJ. Backbreaker to Seth! Right hand from AJ. Whip to Seth. Seth holds onto the ropes and slides outside. AJ slides out of the ring and chases Seth back into the ring. Seth with a throat thrust. He drops AJ on the top rope, hits the ropes, then sends AJ flying into the table. Seth hits the ropes, and a suicide dive sends Aj over the table!

WE are BACK! Both men are laid out in the middle of the ring. Seth tries for a stomp, but AJ reverses into. Calf Crusher!!!! Seth reaches for the ropes, then opts to slam AJs head down into the mat. AJ still holds on, pulling back on the ankle! Seth reaches the bottom rope and Aj releases the hold. AJ with a surprise pele kick! Both men fight, AJ hits a headbutt, Steh with a right, Aj with a right. They both stand, rip cord elbow from Seth, who then sets up for a Buckle Bomb, but AJ drops to his feet and suplexes Seth into the buckle!!! Cover for 1..2….NO!!!! AJ to the apron! Springboard! Seth ducks, AJ buckles the knee, Seth attacks it from behind! Seth wants a Pedigree, but AJ reverses, quick cover for 1..2..NO!!!! AJ to the apron. He readies the forearm, then thinks better of it and goes to the top rope instead. Rollins runs up, locks the head, AJ slinks down and pulls the legs out from under Seth. Seth with a back elbow. BUCKLE BOMB FROM SETH TO AJ!!! Seth to the top rope! He flies with a frogpslash, but AJ rolls out of the way!!!!

AJ wants Styles clash, Seth drops out, Seth rolls through, sits on AJ out of a Sunset Flip and gets the 1..2…3!!!

Winner: Seth Rollins
I would have appreciated a slightly better ending, but that doesn’t take away from how good this match was. Seth being a rare heel that continually backs up his words in the ring is a great treat.
Total Rating: ***1/2
Match Time: 15:11

Match 6: Tommaso Ciampa vs Matt Riddle

Gutwrench takedown right into an arm bar by Riddle! He transitions into a triangle but Ciampa drops Riddle onto the ropes then stomps his heart out in the corner. Riddle with a chop, Ciampa hits him hard back. Chop to Riddle. Forearm from Riddle, he kicks, stopped, stomp by Ciampa to the toes! DDT To Riddle! Cover for 1..2…NO!! Ciampa stomps the forehead then pounds his chest. Surprise body slam from Riddle! He drapes Ciampa over the middle rope! DDT to Ciampa! Riddle hears the voices! He goes for an RKO, but Ciampa rolls him up and picks the ankle!! Ciampa grabs the toes and slams Riddle’s foot down hard! Running knee from Ciampa!!! Cover for 1…2…..NO!!!! Riddle up. Go behind. Rip cord knee. Riddle to the top rope!

FLOATING BRO ONTO THE EXPOSED KNEE!! Riddle wants the RKO! RKO TO CIAMPA!!! Cover for 1..2…3!!!!

Winner: Matt Riddle
Incredibly explosive from both men. They had a little less than five minutes, and they shoved as much as they could into it. Nice.
Total Rating: ***
Match Time: 4:32

Bianca Belair makes her entrance.

She is in the ring with Patrick and says that she stays ready so she don’t have to get ready. She gives Rhea some props. They both are on the forefront of the new generation. There was this mutual respect. Recently, though, she doesn’t recognize her. She is soulless. Her joining Judgment Day is about intimidation, but Bianca is not the one. When it comes to her, she is not afraid. She doesn’t just talk the talk, she also walks the walk.

Rhea is on the tron. She shouts at Bianca. Says she is all talk (even though Bianca just said she isn’t talk). Finn and Priest are on either side of her. They are tired of playing nice and taking orders. Priest says Edge had the right idea, but his actions contradicted his own mission statement. He painted himself as a leader then told them to not do what they were told. They are all equals now. As for Bianca, she cares what everyone thinks. Maybe if she stopped caring, she’d actually stand a chance at keeping the title. She is just trying to convince herself that she is the best. She had her teeth knocked loose last night, and she loved it. She took what she wanted, and now she is in line for the title. At Money in the Bank, the greatest thing Bianca will be is her downfall.

Match 7: Chad Gable vs Mustafa Ali

They feel each other out, Ali works the left arm, Gable flips out, blocks it, spins, leg trips Ali, then sits on the back of Ali and works the arm from behind. He switches into a side headlock, Ali hits the ropees, hits a rana, arm drag, another, he mocks the SHOOSH then gets a side headlock. Gable backs him into the corner, then shoots him off. He shoves Ali out of the corner, then sldies him INTO the ringpost! Gable drops him down with a chop, another, whip to the ropes, chest press, cover for 1..2..NO!!!! Northern Loights, Gable drags Ali to the corner, tries for a moonsautl, misses, Ali up with a throat thrust, another, into the corner. Whip to Gable. Back elbow from Ali. Ali hops off the 2nd rope with a tornado DDT!

He hits the apron, to the top rope, Ali flies! Otis distracts! GERMAN INTO A PIN FOR 1..2…3!!!

Winner: Chad Gable
Them boys good
Total Rating: **1/2
Match Time: Stopwatch Issues

Match 8: Rey Mysterio vs Veer Mahaan

Rey uses his speed to get a few quick kicks in. They lockup and Veer slams ey down hard. Kick to the chest. Another. Whip to the ropes, Rey slides underneath the nkicks out the legs, another kick behind the knee, to the ropes, and a tackle from Veer. He sends Rey to the outside, heads out there and sends Rey back in the ring. Ver with a high elbow drop, but he misses as Rey gets out of the way! Veer whips Rey out of the corner, into the corner chest first. Veer stands tall with his arms in the air. He looks back to Rey, kick to the chest. Whip to the ropes and another kick to Rey! Rey dodges a move out of the corenr, hits the ropes, rana into the corner, Rey kicks the leg, the arm, tries for another whip ,but Veer hits a knee and holds the hand. Hard whip into the corner. Veer tries for a shoulder, but Rey moves and Veer lands on his feet outside. Big Boot to Dominik! Lol. Clothesline to Dominik sends him into the timekeepers area. He re-enters the ring and Rey is there to hit a dropkick, hits the ropes, again, again, into the clutches of VEER! Veer slams him awkwardly chest first onto the knee.

Veer with the cervical clutch and Rey taps.

Winner: Veer Mahan
While I’m glad he is no longer squashing jobbers, the ceiling is always so low for big guys like this and Omos in the WWE. Like what do we do with Veer now?
Total Rating: *
Match Time: 3:47

Oh joy, we’re ending with the Posedown.

Theory is out first as confident as ever. He has a headset/mic, says Pearce botched the beginning. Pearce tells him to et on the podium. Theory hops on the podium, does the poses, all while talking shit to Lashley.

Lashley says Theory brought this on himself. He’s abut to embarrass him. Lashley gets to pose to the joy of the crowd. Dude is a freak of nature.

Pearce asks for the winner, but Theory cuts him off and tells the crowd to shut up. He asks the crowd who won. Pearce announces Lashley as the winner then leaves the ring.

Theory holds his title, tells Bobby that there’s one more pose.

Theory squirts baby oil in the eye of Bo by Lashley then high dropkicks him out of the ring.

End Show