wrestling / TV Reports
Acero’s AEW Dynamite Review 9.4.24
Image Credit: AEW
Loading...Michael Ornelas checks out Perkin’s Restaurant this week with Andrew Canada, and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t jealous of their tet-a-tet, because I thought only he and I shared such a rapport. Check out the full episode and see where Perkin’s lands on the mediocre scale!! Check out Fine Dining Podcast now!
It’s Wednesday, you know what that means…
We start with the oh so rich voice of MJF to cut Daniel Garcia off and insult him by calling him an emaciated skin-head on Ozempic and a pencil neck.
Garcia calls everything about MJF fake. His acne, his tan, and the hair transplant from Turkey that didn’t even work. What makes him sick is the fake love he has for AEW. He doesn’t care about this place the way he does, the way these people do. He can get all the fake tattoos he wants but we will never believe him.
MJF tries to talk but Garcia cuts him off and says to listen to him for once. Last week, he said he was obsessed with ruining his life, and he meant it. He wants MJF to suffer and the people that love him to suffer. He wants MJF to marry his girl, get a house, have a kid, but just know that every time he picks up that ugly ass baby, he’ll feel a tingle from neck to toes and think about him. His kid will ask him, “Daddy, were you a wrestler?” And he’ll have to tell him the truth: “I was until Garcia ended my career.”
MJF wants to congrulate him, but he’s got so much more to learn, so much more maturing. He doesn’t realize that when he dumped Garcia on his head, he was trying to do him a solid. Garcia cant trust anyone, look at MJF. He was their favorite, these people used to love him. They loved him, he got too big, and like rats, they turned on him. Garcia doesn’t want their love or their affection. The more he rises up, the more we fickle bastards will wanna watch him fall. He will make sure we don’t hurt him how we hurt MJF. He will doe that by putting him in a wheelchair. Don’t worry, though, there is one person he can trust – Garcia’s mother. She’s a good woman, shell take care of Garcia while he’s laid up in bed. She wont be the first man lying on his back in her bed that she happily attended to.
Garcia makes a B-line for MJF by running through the crowd. Security tries to stop him but Garcia beats their asses. He makes his way through th crowd, up the steps, tosses another guard, another, and MJF is waiting for him with a wine bottle in his hand! He smashes it across the face of Garcia! MJF grabs Garcia, who did the blade job, and asks if he can take a seat next to him. He pulls Garcia close, who is pouring blood. Every man must go through hell, MJF says, before they reach paradise. He wants to thank Garcia.
Garcia is glossy-eyed as we head to Renee.
Renee is backstage with The Conglomeration. She wants to talk to Willow Nightingale first who has her hands full, then we introduce Orange, KOR, and Will Ospreay. He thanks Mark for letting him borrow KOR and OC. He asks Mark if he has any words of wisdom. Mark says:
William, my friend from across the pond, I was informed of an impending request for a mutual kinship amongst friends for an upcoming battle against enemies shared amongst our collective group of warriors. It was a posthaste response, as I see nothing but success at the other end of the tunnel known as hand to hand fisticuffs. Perhaps there will be blood, perhaps there will be plunder, perhaps – and with just a modicum of hope – there will be death. I heed your request.
Continental Championship Match
Kyle Fletcher vs Kazuchika Okada
Y’all, I just got offered a new position at a sick ass restaurant so I missed the first ten minutes and came right to Kyle hitting a BRAINBUSTAAHHHH ON THE APRON!!!
We return from break to see Kyle shoot Okada away with an arm drag, big superkick to the chin. Another. A third kick in the corner. Kyle climbs the corner with Okada. Elbows to the face. 15 minutes is noted. Kyle lifts up for a suplex, Okada floats down and lands on his feet then hops up for a dropkick to Fletcher! Okada heads to the apron. Kyle is outside. Okada sees Kyle near the barricade and kicks him over it. Kyle heads back into the ring. Okada in. Kyle drops him, mocks the Rainmaker pose. Okada with a HUGE LARIAT BLOCKS THE MOVE! Another! He grabs Kyle by thr wrist, goes for Rainmaker, Kyle ducks, hits the ropes, DROPKICK FROM OKADA!! RAINMAK—NO!!! Blocked with a kick, uppercut from Okada, Half and Half from Fletcher, he goes for a tombstone, turns it into a side slam instead, covers for 1..2.NO!!!
We are down to one minute left. Kyle to the top rope. Okada pulls on Knox. Kyle runs over, Okada sends him into Knox then pulls him in for a low blow, extends him again, then hits Rainmaker! Cover! 1.2…3!!!
Winner: Kazuchike Okada
This was very PWG, and that’s not necessarily a bad thing. And yes, I’m aware these two weren’t PWG guys, but you get my drift.
Total Rating: ***1/2
Match Time: 19:18
Some time this week, Swerve Strickland purchased his childhoodhome, and we get a quick video of him and Nana in front of it, celebrating the poignant moment.
If this house goes down in flames at the hands of Hangman Adam Page, this episode will be rated 11 out of 10.
Jamie Hayter vs Robyn Renegade
Jamie’s gonna kill you….
Jamie’s gonna kill you…
Jamie’s gonn—
Oh shit, she killed her.
Winner: Jamie Hayter
Squishy squish squish
Total Rating: NR
Match Time: Less than 3
Bakstage, Roderick Strong is arguing with Christopher Daniels abut his foot being under the rope when he fought Hook. Here comes Hook to offer him a title shot tonight. Strong yells, for no good reason, and says he is not fighting him in Milwaukee.
Actually, it’s pronounced “mill-e-wah-que” which is Algonquin for “the good land”
We are backtage, and Marina Shafir is kicking some random ass. Jon Moxley is with her. They walk up to The Young Bucks and Jack Perry. Moxley looks to Jack Perry and says, “Ya know, I don’t care what they say; you’re a sweet kid.” Then heads through the curtain to the crowd. We hear from him next.
We are BACK and Senor Moxley is in the ring. He wonders if Darby Allin is somewhere out there. Years ago, he wrestled a young kid nobody ever heard of. He stood no chance against him but showed no fear. He beat that kid’s ass for 20 minutes and after, he just smiled. He knew then that that kid was special, and he stillthinks that. Darby plays the game the way it was meant to be played – with reckless abandon. He knows just the chance to be in this business and perform in front of everyone is a privilege. He just wants to talk to Darby…
Moxley drops the mic and leaves. Shafir follows as he makes his way through the crowd.
Renee is backstage with The Learning Tree! Chris Jericho is asked what he wants to get off his chest. Jericho waves and says hello. He doesn’t think Orange Cassidy understands the severity of what he did a few years ago. OC may not remember, but Jericho will never forget so let’s go back to 2020 when OC dropped Orange Juice on Jericho. $7,000. He wants it back. On Friday, Bryan Keith will squeeze that 7k out of his hide.
Orange Cassidy comes into frame, straight to Bryan Keith and says to tell Chris Jericho if Keith beats him on Friday, he’ll give Jericho his money in cash.
Hahahaha Jericho is RIGHT THERE! Oh Orange, you slay me!
AEW Women’s World Championship Match
Mariah May vs Nyla Rose
Nyla powers May into the corner, May side steps and slaps Nyla. Nula with a kick, tries to Beast Bomb her but May crawls under Nyla then slaps her, again, again, again, Nyla eats them all then fireman’s May. Tries for a DVD but May slides down and hits an elbow to the back of the head. May hits the ropes, slides for a leg trip but Nyla plants herself. Kick from May but Nyla hits a crossbody. Nyla with a body slam. Nyla goes for another body slam, then a leg drop. Cover. 1..2….NO!! Nyla lifts up and hangs May onto the top rope but May lands on her feet and hangs nyla up. Top rope and May hits a huge dropkick. Cover for 1….NO!!
We are back and Nyla has May cornered. She misses a shoulder as May hops over. May with right hands to the head. May hits the ropes, dropkick to Nyla. Cover for 1….NO!!! May locks the head, double underhook, Nyla escapes, headbutt from both, and they both drop. Right hands from both girls. May pulls herself up by the ropes, right hand, another, another, another to the head over and over. May hits the ropes and Nyla is there to hit a high knee. She kisses May on the forehead, hits the ropes, and May follows her with an elbow. Nyla drop steps and hits a surprise GERMAN!!! May in the corner. Nyla rushes, hits a big splash. Whip to May into the corner hard. A back elbow, May runs into a clothesline! Cover for 1..2..NO!!! Nyla tries for a Beast Bomb. May holds on, flies with a crossbody, but Nyla rolls through. She lifts and slams May down hard. May rolls outside! She calls for the ref. May h olds onto the boot of Aubrey, sees Nyla near the steps, then runs to sweep the legs.
Big knee to the face. May runs into the ring. Ref starts the count. Nyla runs in at 9. Running knee from May! STORM ZERO! COVER! 1…2…3!!!
Winner: Mariah May
Good stuff
Total Rating: ***
Match Time: 10:31
Deonna Purrazzo gets a video package about restarting and continuing to create art.
Mercedes Mone is here with her big shouldered homie.
She would like us to say hello to our CEO. Her dress is due to her feeling some type of way after defending her title. Shida is also feeling some type of way. How can she be the Ace when she is not the face of AEW.
HOLY SHIDA chant.
She says she is Two Belts Mone. She is the face of this company. Come this Saturday, Shida will learn just like the rest of the division that there is a price to pay when you mess with Mercedes Mone.
Hikaru Shida is on the tron! She says Mone was one kitana away from looking at the new TBS Champion. Mone knows, just like Milwaukee knows that she cant beat the Ace.
Shida has good news. IN come Daniels. He tells Kamille that when Shida faces Mone, she will be banned from ringside.
Shida says Mercedes knows some Japanese, so she’ll say this: Sayonara, bitch.
Nice callback.
The Elite are backstage. Perry has something to say. 3 years ago, Chicago, All Out in 2021, Perry was in the ring the very first time Bryan stepped foot into AEW. He promised himself one day he would step foot in the ring with Bryan Danielson. Fast forward to him being stuck at home and Bryan’s career coming to an end. He realized he’d probably never get his chance, but he never gave up. He did all he could to get back here and he did it by himself. Bryan could have helped ihm, but he didn’t. All Bryan cares about is his fairytale ending. This Saturday, three years later, it wont be a happy ending.
Matt tells Danielson that the EVPs have a message for him and his BCC friends. They will do anything that the AEW World Title comes back to where it belongs – The Elite .
Here comes Bryan Danielson for commentary.
Imma go get a snack!
Claudio Castagnoli, Wheeler Yuta, and Pac vs Kyle O’Reilly, Ornge Cassidy, and Will Opsreay
Will and KOR to start. KOR outwrestles Yuta, tags in OC, hits a dropkick, knee from KOR, OC waits, allows Yuta to stand, then goes for the pockets, but Yuta chops him! They trade rights! TAG TO PAC! Tag to Will!
They get a Holy Shit chant before doing anything. Pac drops him, hops over Will, they rn the ropes and trade defense. Will shoots the leg, hops over the back, slides under, Pac does the same, flying though the legs, springboard over for Will, leg trip, dropkick! We get a big cheer.
Back from break and OC and Yuta are in the middle of the ring. Yuta hits a German to OC. Pin gets a 1..2.NO!! Wheeler holds on. Backs into a tag to Claudioo, who sits OC up top and hits a high uppercut. Tag to Pac. Pac climbs up, tries to hit a superplex, right hands to the gut, OC shove, Pac lands on his feet, OC dives, gets caught. Overhead throw from Pac! Brutalizer!!! In comes will to Stomp and break it up but here come Claudio and Yuta to send Will outside and attack Will!
OC dives under for a tag but no one is in the corner! Claudio gets a tag, Yuta too they double team OC as Claudio launches Wheeler onto OC! KOR runs in to break up the 1.2..NO!!! Claudio hits KOR with an uppercut outside. Back to the ring. Claudio tries for a Big Swing, but OC rols into th corner. Stomps from Claudio. Yuta with rights. Yuta is the legal man. He hits some right hands.
We are BACK and Claudio is putting a hurtin on Orange Cassidy. He whips OC into a clothesline, misses, OC with a rana sends Claudio t othe outside. OC hits the ropes, suicide dive to Claudio! KOR dives with a knee to Yuta! Pac in the ring! He dives over onto KOR! Will springboards with a crossbody to Pac! Will and Pac fight up the ramp. Will shoots Pac off the stage, then dives with a front flip onto Pac’s head!
In the ring, OC is on the top rope. Claudio turns, OC dives! DDT! Kipup! He removes the elbow pad! Will and Pac brawl stageside. OC tries for Orange Punch, Claudio avoids it, catches OC. Stundog! Elbow strike from KOR! Beach Break from OC! Cover! 1.2…..N!O!!! OC tags KOR. OC and KOR trade turns kicking Claudio, with KORs being much more devastating, of course. OC calls fo the punch but Yuta is there to grab the boot. Running uppercut from Claudio! KOR big boots Yuta off the apron, GUILLOTINE TO CLAUDIO!!! Claudio lifts and slams KOR down but he maintains control! Claudio sends KOR int othe corner, KOR STILL HAS IT! He cinches! Claudio down to one knee.
Claudio is fading. Nope! He’s back up! He pushes KOR into the air and hits a huge uppercut! GIANT SWING! Yuta in! Dropkick to the spinning KOR! Cover! 1..2…3!!!
Winners: Blackpool Combat Club and PAC
Exactly as good as I wanted and needed it to be.
Total Rating: ***3/4
Match Time: 18:09
As BCC celebrates, The Elite run down to attack, including Okada.
Perry grabs a chair. The Bucks hold Bryan by the arms. Claudio attacks Jack Perry. Yuta fights back, sending Nick out of the ring. BCC clears the ring with the exception of Jack Perry. Bryan goes to kick his head in, but The Bucks pull him out of the ring.
Claudio has a mic. He wants to tell them something face to face, “You kids just made the biggest mistake of your life.” Claudio says lately he’s been in the mood of collecting gold, and now that he sees them two with the tag team titles, he has nothing to do at All Out, neither does Yuta. So how bout them vs The Bucks for the tag team championships.
Bryan says as for Jack, there’s a lot of people sick and tired of all his crap. Bryan guarantees one thing. This Sunday, Jack Perry is going to get his fucking face kicked in.
End Show
BUT NOT REALLY!!!
PAC And Ospreay continue to brawl backtage! Pac finds a big box to pull Will onto and hit a BRAINBUSTAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
Pac screams at Will to underestimate him at Will’s peril!
We got some time, so they run down the ALL OUT card.
Oh shit, we still got a contract signing!
Good Lord, Tony Schiavone is in the ring and he introduces Swerve Strickland first.
Hangman’s music hits, but he doesn’t come out. Tony gives him another chance, but we get interrupted by Hangman Adam Page on the screen. He’s at SWERVE’S HOUSE! He says why would he go through the formality if we both know it’s going to happen. He checks out the house, he says the cielings are low. He wonders if Swerve was a bad kid. He probably was. But enough time down memory lane, this is Swerve’s house. He knows why Swerve is here. He told Page last week, much like when he sat outside Page’s front door and watched him, he told Page to make a decision – a choice between hate and success, vengeance and peace.
Page is outside now, and you see him pouring gasoline everywhere. Page says this is no choice; they are one in the same. He told Swerve for months that there was nothing he wanted more out of this life than to burn your world to. The ground.
Page continues walking down a sidewalk, sets up the camera, and takes a seat in a recliner outside. This Saturdaay, locked inside a cage, he will take what’s left of Swerve: his pride, his dignity. Swerve will be on his knees begging for his mercy, pleading for his forgiveness.
Well, the night is long and it’s time to say goodbyes. Not for him, but from him. Say goodbye to the AEW World Championship, any idea of holding it again. This Saturday, he’ll say goodbye to his health, career, joy, and happiness. And tonight, he can say goodbye to Swerve’s house.
Page drops a lit match and the house behind him goes up in flames. Page sitting in a recliner drinking a glass of whiskey while the house is in flames behind him…
Chef’s kiss.
Swerve, in the ring, is near tears, fuming and pissed while Nana asks why over and over.
End Show
