wrestling / Video Reviews
Universal Wrestling Federation (1.24.1987) Review
Image Credit: UWF
Loading...-Filling in another Universal Wrestling Federation hole with help from Fish & Chips.
-Cold open: Dark Journey knocks Missy Hyatt out cold with an extremely gentle shot to the head with Missy’s purse. Eddie Gilbert promises revenge.
-It’s January 24, 1987.
-Your host is Jim Ross.
CHAVO GUERRERO vs. ART CREWS
-There’s a group of fans who are using cowbells in lieu of booing. And this taping isn’t even in Cowtown Coliseum!
-Chavo trips Crews and applies an armbar, and a bodypress gets two. Chavo runs the ropes and Crews gets a hold of him and throws him to the floor. Jim Ross asks us to stay tuned for important information about Los Angeles, and I’m going to go ahead and guess that the important information is “We’re still not building a Metro station anywhere near Glendale, get stuffed.”
-Cute bit with Art Crews cowering in the corner to hide from Chavo, and Chavo gets so sick of the stalling and he just kicks the referee in the knee to get him out of the way. It’s funny but JR won’t even offer a babyface cover for that, he’s just like, “Uh, that’s a DQ…” Chavo finishes this one with a Chavosteiner, and your instant replay soundtrack is the shittiest 1980s slow jam cover of “I Got You Babe” that Joel could find in the dollar bin at NRM.
ELI THE ELIMINATOR (with Skandar Akbar & Wild Bill Irwin) vs. JEFF GAYLORD
-In hindsight, they left money on the table by not calling this guy “Eli Minator.”
-Elbow and boots by Eli as JR speculates on Eli’s “secretive origins.” Judging from his wardrobe, the bar in Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure. Eli misses a corner charge but shakes it off and tombstones Gaylord for three. I’m not saying Gaylord was the second coming of anybody in the ring, but it’s so odd to me that Vince McMahon famously gave Tom Magee chance after chance after chance for three years but apparently just straight-up said “Nah” to Gaylord.
-Skandar Akbar cuts a promo on behalf of everybody in Devastation Inc. I just plain forgot about Leroy Brown until I took this backward hop in the video library. Yeah, he just kinda disappeared, didn’t he?
-We get a videotape that was mailed in by a company hired by the Fabulous Freebirds, with a disclaimer that it may have been selectively edited with the supervision of Michael Hayes. It’s pretty much the Heavyweight Title change through the Freebirds’ eyes, showing the injury and the referee’s verdict that the belt was changing hands, and it’s funny how the “selective editing” really isn’t much more than what actually happened. We follow that with the incident where Terry Taylor & Hacksaw Jim Duggan were attacked by Eli, Irwin, and the Gang before a Tag Team Title match against the Freebirds. Taylor and Duggan were NOT stripped of the belts. DOUBLE STANDARD.
-Back live in the arena, Jim Ross and Michael Hayes argue about it, and Jim Ross reiterates the stance of Ken Mantell. The difference is that a doctor examined Duggan & Taylor and refused to clear them. Gordy refused to let the doctor examine him.
-We look at Hayes again trying to argue this point as the Freebirds mount a 3-on-1 attack on Savannah Jack before a TV Title defense, and Hayes just grabs the belt and declares himself champ.
TV TITLE: SAVANNAH JACK (Champion) vs. KEN MASSEY
-We get a pre-match interview from Savannah, and he’s actually pretty good on the mic, but there’s no JYD “magic” there. Superkick finishes in seconds.
-We recap Ted DiBiase’s efforts to come get him some against One Man Gang. Man, they were really trying to play the looooooooooooooonnnngggg game with DiBiase, weren’t they?
TED DIBIASE vs. MIKE GEORGE
-DiBiase works the arm. George uses his free arm to apply a front facelock. They battle with assorted holds and reversals. George gets DiBiase on the mat with a toehold, with DiBiase turning it into a chinlock. Both guys get fed up with holds and go for impact. George slams DiBiase but misses an elbow. DiBiase snapmares George into a chinlock. George finally decides “screw this wrestling shit” and starts throwing punches. I’m going to sound like an old guy yelling at clouds, especially given that I never got in the ring myself one day in my life, but there’s a lesson to be learned by the way this match is playing out. These guys had a purely scientific exhibition of holds and counters for several minutes, and when Mike George throws one punch, the crowd FREAKS OUT over it.
-Back from commercial, Jack Victory is now joining us at ringside as George gives DiBiase a back suplex for two. DiBiase tries to mount a comeback but runs face-first into a knee. Ross: “This is the UWF, where big men get it on!” Ah, so that’s where I need to go. No wonder JR always yelled like that on commentary.
-DiBiase gives George an atomic drop and both men are worn out. DiBiase comes off the second rope with an axehandle. Dropkick and a snapmare by DiBiase. Referee gets bumped and Jack Victory hurries in there to help George with double-teaming. But DiBiase can keep up with dirty tactics and simply reaches into his tights, produces the black glove, and KOs George as the referee comes back to life, getting the three-count. Good storytelling all the way through. Gang runs in for a post-match attack, but he meets the black glove and DiBiase stands tall.
