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The 411 Dumpster Fire of the Week: Bill Cosby

December 30, 2019 | Posted by Bryan Kristopowitz
Bill Cosby

The 411mania Dumpster Fire of the Week

Hello, everyone, and welcome to The 411 Dumpster Fire of the Week. I’m Bryan Kristopowitz.

Is it me, or do too many pro wrestlers do moonsaults nowadays? I can remember back in the day when a wrestler did a moonsault it was usually that wrestler’s finishing move or it was meant to be, in the course of a match, a “wow” moment meant to get a pop from the crowd. Now, regardless of the promotion and regardless of the wrestlers involved, it seems like every other match features someone doing a moonsault. Not as a finisher, not necessarily as a pop moment, it’s just something that a wrestler does. A moonsault has become similar to a super kick or the flying knee to the face. Everyone does it now. Is that a good thing or a bad thing?

I mean, in one sense it’s actually kind of cool to see so many different wrestlers use the move because it’s hard to do and do right. I’d imagine that “anyone” can jump backwards off the top rope and do a flip, but how many wrestlers can actually hit their opponent with their full body and not just do one of those “glancing blow to the body” thing? More and more can do it now.

However, shouldn’t flipping backwards off the top rope still be considered the ultimate wow move? If it isn’t anymore, what move replaces it? What move is going to look devastating and insane enough to get a major pop from the audience?

I can remember flipping out watching Vader do a moonsault because there’s no way in hell a 400 pound wrestler should be able to do that, and yet there he was doing it. And remember when Bam Bam Bigelow did a sort of moonsault? True holy shit moments. What move does that these days?

And now onto this week’s Dumpster Fire of the Week.

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This week, the 411 Dumpster Fire of the Week goes to disgraced comedy legend and convicted rapist Bill Cosby, for his recent reaction to comments Eddie Murphy made on Saturday Night Live. Through some sort of representative named Andrew Wyatt, Cosby apparently took major exception to a joke Murphy made during his SNL monologue about how, thirty years ago, no one would have believed that Eddie Murphy would be a “boring, stay-at-home father” and Bill Cosby would be in jail, and yet that’s exactly what happened. Murphy then went on to do his hilarious Bill Cosby impersonation and asked “Who is America’s Dad now?” to thunderous laughter from the audience.

So Cosby, through Wyatt, released a statement condemning Murphy for the joke, saying that if it wasn’t for Cosby helping to break the color barrier in Hollywood and winning Emmys, Murphy, and black performers like Murphy (Chris Rock, Tracy Morgan, and Dave Chappelle appeared onstage with Murphy during the monologue) wouldn’t have had a career. Cosby also went on to basically say that, instead of Murphy’s return being a celebration, Murphy turned it into a disgraceful attack on a black show business pioneer and that Murphy sold himself into “Hollywood slavery.” Cosby also compared Murphy to Stepin Fetchit and accused him of “cooning”.

Now, while it’s true that Bill Cosby was a pioneering black performer and that, yes, if he hadn’t achieved what he achieved in the entertainment business performers like Murphy probably wouldn’t have been able to achieve what they achieved, Cosby is conveniently ignoring the reality that he, Bill Cosby, former “America’s Dad,” was convicted of and sentenced to up to ten years in prison for sexual assault. Let me repeat that. Bill Cosby was convicted of and sentenced to up to ten years in prison for sexual assault. Did anyone thirty plus years ago think that would ever happen? Hell, did anyone ten years ago think that would happen? No, no one did. And when you consider that Cosby and Murphy have been “feuding” for decades, it would have been odd if Murphy didn’t say something. Murphy refused to say something about Cosby back in 2015 when he showed up at the big hooha SNL anniversary show, but that was when Cosby was just accused of being a rapist. Now that Cosby is a convicted rapist, why should Murphy stay silent?

Now, Cosby, despite the conviction, continues to claim that he’s innocent, which isn’t all that surprising (how many convicted criminals claim they’re really innocent? All of them?). What is surprising is that Cosby continues to claim that he’s the victim of some sort of conspiracy, that he was set up, that he’s the real victim because that’s just nonsense. Cosby is the one that drugged those women and raped them. No one made him do it. No outside force made him do it. He did it. That’s the reality.

And if Cosby wants to be a force for good for humanity, he should fully admit to what he did, apologize, and then move on from there. That will likely never happen, though. Cosby seems to be in this denial crap for the long haul (he has sad that he would rather die in prison than admit to what he did. Of course, he framed all that as an “innocent man” which, as I said, is just nonsense. Cosby isn’t innocent at all).

So what happens next? Eddie Murphy’s career will continue on. He’s in awards contention for Dolemite is my Name, he has Coming to America 2 coming out in 2020, and if that Netflix stand-up comedy special thing ever happens, Murphy will once again become the biggest star in the world. Cosby will still be in prison, where he belongs, complaining.

That’s the reality, Bill. That’s the reality. Learn to accept it.

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And now for this week’s honorable mentions…

-Disgraced award winning actor and alleged sexual predator Kevin Spacey, for his latest bizarre video released on Christmas Eve. No one knows what the video is really about, although, just like the video in 2018, Spacey seems to be channeling his House of Cards character Frank Underwood for some reason. Are we going to get another one of these videos in 2020? And will Spacey ever explain them? What the hell does “kill them with kindness” mean here?

-Actor and comedian Marlon Wayans, for losing his mind on the referees at his son’s basketball game. There is no reason for this kind of thing, even if the referees are making terrible calls. If you have an issue with an official ask to speak with one of them after the game or on another day, but you should never, ever lose your mind during your kid’s game. It never looks good. Ever. And when you’re a celebrity like Wayans it ends up looking even worse.

AXS TV, for for removing New Japan Pro Wrestling from its schedule. It’s not surprising that AXS did this since the channel’s parent company, Anthem, has its own pro wrestling promotion, Impact Wrestling, to put on TV, but it still stinks. And New Japan has no American TV home, which will likely stifle its North American expansion. Will Sinclair Broadcasting step up and help out the company since Sinclair’s Ring of Honor promotion still has a working relationship with New Japan? Will, maybe, ESPN want to get involved with New Japan in some fashion?

The Ultra-Right Wing Media Machine, for its meltdown over the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation removing Donald Trump’s cameo from Home Alone 2. The CBC edited out Trump’s cameo, along with around eight other minutes of the movie, back in 2014, but after the President complained about the edit just recently, making it sound like Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau ordered the edit to punish Trump or some shit, the machine kicked itself into overdrive to complain about the non-story. Aren’t there other things the President is complaining about on social media that would make for better ridiculous stories?

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