100 Percent Fordified: CHIKARA King of Trios 2016 Night 1

Easton, PA – 9.2.2016

Championship Rundown
Grand Champion: Hallowicked
Campeones de Parejas: Moustache Mountain (Trent Seven & Tyler Bate)
Young Lions Cup Champion: ThunderFrog

Commentary is provided by Joey Styles, Bryce Remsburg, and Mike Quackenbush.

Vlad Radinov welcome the crowd before introducing Joey Styles, who will be on commentary all weekend long. Joey says he only had 24 hours notice to prepare for the coolest, craziest wrestling he’s ever seen. He thanks everyone for having him and expresses his excitement for the show. Bryce says he feels like Joey is forgetting something, and of course Joey let’s out an “Oh My God!” to get the show underway.

King of Trios 2016 First Round Match
Major League Moustache (Dasher Hatfield & Moustache Mountain (Trent Seven & Tyler Bate)) vs. The Batirie (Obariyon, Kodama & Kobald)

Hatfield and Moustache Mountain are known as “Major League Moustache.” Kobald refuses to lock-up with Hatfield. Although Kobald gets a kick in the stomach, Hatfield armdrags him twice into a crucifix pin for two. Hatfield takes a wristlock exchange, maneuvering Kobald into a Magistral cradle for two. Kobald tries a prawn hold, but Hatfield cuts back for another two count. Kobald bites on Hatfield’s shoulder. Hatfield blind tags in Seven. Hatfield neck drags Kobald into a low boot from Seven. Seven resists Kodama’s running shoulder blocks, wearing Kodama out. Finally, Seven sends Kodama outside with his own running shoulder block. Bate baits Obariyon into a knee strike to the face. He rams his foot into Obariyon’s face before nailing him with a dropkick. Major League Moustache all take turns holding up Obariyon in a lengthy, delayed vertical suplex, ending with a Jackhammer from Hatfield. Kobald breaks up the pin. Hatfield hogties Kobald up using Kobald’s own tail. When Obariyon and Kodama enter the ring, Moustache Mountain put them in stereo abdominal stretches, with a little assist from Hatfield. Kobald is freed and dropkicks Hatfield. Obariyon and Kodama hip toss their way free and knock Moustache Mountain to the floor, leaving Hatfield to be isolated in the Batiri corner. Hatfield manages to fallaway slam Kobald into Obariyon and Kodama, but eats the Skull Bronzing for two, thanks to Bate jumping in. Hatfield tries shoving them to the corner, but Kobald helps push them back. Hatfield backdrops all three Batiri members at once and tags in both Bate and Seven. They clean house on Obariyon and Kodama with chops and headbuts to the stomach, kneeling on their shoulders for a pair of nearfalls. Seven Dragon suplexes Obariyon on his head. Bate then Bermuda Triangles onto Obariyon and Kodama! In the ring, Seven gives Kodama piledriver before feeding him to Bate for an Orange Crush Bomb and the win at 13:32. This was a very well put together match, with both teams looking strong and comedy that felt organic. It was surprising to see the Batiri ousted so early on, but truthfully they couldn’t have lost to a better team. This type of a match is a perfect snapshot of CHIKARA at it’s best. CHIKARA generously put this match up for free, and I recommend watching it. ***

Juan Francisco de Coronado approaches the Proletariat Boar of Moldova and Prakash Sabar backstage. Coronado tells them to get their act together because he is going to be a King of Trios champion. He’s going to wear all three medals around his neck. Tonight is the beginning of the voyage for Juan Francisco de Coronado and the King of Trios.

King of Trios 2016 First Round Match
Team Police Squad (Officer Warren Barksdale, Dick Justice & Bill Carr) vs. The United Nations (Juan Francisco de Coronado, The Proletariat Boar of Moldova & Prakash Sabar)

During the pre-match pat down, Justice finds a pole in Coronado’s boot. The United Nations attack Team Police Squad behind their backs as they go to dispose of the pole. The Squad hold up finger guns, forcing the United Nations to put their hands out. Carr deputizes the crowd, who now also pull finger guns on the United Nations as they run around ringside. Back in the ring, the UN negotiate with the Squad who put their guns down and kick them out of the ring. We get triple Bionic Elbows from the Police Squad. Carr overhand chops Sabar in the corner. Justice follows up with a splash. Barksdale comes in. He hits the ropes where Coronado hits him with a knee from the apron. Sabar knocks him down with a spinwheel kick for two. Barksdale is beaten down by the United Nations until he gets accidentally accelerated to his corner when Sabar kicks out of Barksdale’s O’Connor Roll. Carr sends Boar to the floor, splashes Coronado, and catches Sabar coming off the second rope with a Boss Man Slam. Coronado breaks the cover. Carr is about to strike when Boar drags him to the floor. Justice tosses Coronado out and takes down Sabar with a toreador and an alita off the second rope. Justice back slaps Sabar on the floor before being dropkicked out by Coronado. Barksdale drills Coronado with a spinebuster. Boar cracks Barksdale with a big boot. Carr sends Boar outside with a satellite headscissors and lands on Sabar and Boar with a tope con hilo! Coronado gives Carr a superkick and sends him face first into the ring post. Justice brings Coronado back in the ring. He slams Coronado off of his shoulders before ascending the ropes. Boar big boots Justice back down and to the floor. Sabar drops Barksdale with an X-Factor. Boar hits him with a Gore. Coronado locks on the Coronado Clutch and Barksdale taps out at 11:14. Like the first match, this was a great blend of comedy, wrestling, and character work. The United Nations have grown into an excellent trio and each member of Team Police Squad excelled. UN winning was the right choice, but I think just being in the tournament served Barksdale well. ***

With The Big Deal injured, a new team for the Colony (originally slated to face Team Big Deal) needs to be drawn out of a hat. The first few teams were not to be found, but The Submission Squad showed up just in time to serve as the replacements! The match is on!

King of Trios 2016 First Round Match
The Colony (Fire Ant, Soldier Ant & Silver Ant) vs. The Submission Squad (Pierre Abernathy, Davey Vega & Gary The Barn Owl)

Silver Ant’s left shoulder is taped up, still hurt from when Icarus attacked it at the second Hour of Power. Soldier Ant and Silver Ant dropkick Abernathy and Vega off the apron. The Colony go for the Ant Hill on Gary after a dropkick from Fire Ant, but Vega and Abernathy make the save. Fire Ant kicks both men in the side of the head. Abernathy gives Fire Ant a stunner. Vega superkicks Fire Ant into a tornado Complete Shot from Gary for two. Fire Ant send Vega and Gary to the floor. The Colony all back elbow Abernathy in the corner. They set up for the Ants Marching dropkick. Gary and Vega drag Soldier Ant and Silver Ant out. The Submission Squad all attack Fire Ant, ending with a lariat from Abernathy. Silver Ant helps clear the ring out. He slams Gary into a legdrop. Gary comes back with a diving divorce court to Silver Ant. The Submission Squad wisely focus their attack on Silver Ant’s injured shoulder. Vega Cactus clotheslines Silver Ant to the floor. Fire and Soldier Ant knock down Abernathy and Gary with stereo running forearm strikes. They deliver some tandem offense to Gary, leading to a nearfall. Abernathy goes for a brainbuster on Fire Ant. Soldier Ant stops him and with Fire Ant pull off a double suplex. Vega interjects on the cover. Silver Ant re-enters the match with a top rope dropkick to Vega. Vega eats the Ants Marching dropkick for two. The Colony toss Vega onto Gary and Abernathy outside the ring. Silver and Soldier Ant Ant-apult Fire Ant onto the entire Submission Squad. Vega fights out of the Ant Hill. He gives Soldier Ant an enzuigiri. Gary shoves Fire Ant off the top turnbuckle. Vega rolls Silver Ant into a cross armbreaker! Silver Ant rolls Vega into a pin, so Vega maneuvers up and reapplies it! He pulls Silver Ant into a pin when Silver Ant goes to escape, scoring a very close nearfall. Vega misses a splash and Silver Ant hits a lariat with his good arm. He slips out when Abernathy and Vega whip him to the corner. Soldier Ant comes in with a double back elbow to Abernathy and Gary. The Ants Marching neckbreaker from Silver and Soldier Ant gets a two count on Vega. The Ant Hill with Fire Ant gets them the pin on Vega at 9:37. I give major kudos to Davey Vega who not only worked hard during the entire match, but had the crowd in the palm of his hand in thinking that the Submission Squad had a real chance in winning the match. In their first match as a trio in 4 and a half years, the Colony looked as strong as ever and hit all the usual beats fans have become accustomed too. If back in 2009 you told me the Submission Squad was going to have a sleeper hit with the Colony in 2016, I would have called you crazy. Yet, here we are. ***

Mickie James would have never thought that a trio of herself, Jazz, and Lisa Marie would have reunited in CHIKARA. Victoria says she’s a big fan of SHIMMER, but they lack experience. Jazz says they’ve been to WrestleMania and held multiple champions, and tonight, it’s on (“like Pokemon”, which was added by Marie.)

King of Trios 2016 First Round Match
Team SHIMMER (Candice LeRae, Mary Dobson & Solo Darling) vs. Team Original Divas Revolution (Mickie James, Lisa Marie & Jazz)

Solo Darling replaces the injured Madison Eagles. LeRae trips James out of a wristlock exchange, giving James a forearm to follow. James catches her coming with an elbow, then swings out of the corner with a Frankensteiner. A running basement boot gets a nearfall. LeRae pushes James away from the corner and hits her own basement boot. James elbows out of the vagplex, so LeRae takes her down with a headscissors and a flying Complete Shot. LeRae trips James into a chest kick from Darling. James backs Darling to the corner and tags in Marie. Darling kicks her way out of a wristlock exchange. She snapmares Marie into a back kick and basement dropkick. Darling back splashes onto Marie’s spine for two. Marie reverses a whip and clobbers Darling with a clothesline. Darling takes a drink of her Slurpee she brought to the ring with her, giving herself a sugar rush. Marie stops her from running around. Marie herself takes a drink of the slurpee giving herself a sugar rush. Her and Darling hug multiple times, bonding over their rush. Marie then lifts Darling up by the throat and tosses her into the Original Divas Revolution corner. Darling rolls away, and both Jazz and Dobson tag in. After a lock-up Dobson gets a headlock. Jazz is shot off. Jazz’s running shoulder block is fruitless, so Jazz strings some offense together, ending with a spin kick to the temple. Dobson retaliates with a boot and a knee to the chest and face. Marie and James jump to the floor, not wanting to tag in. Dobson kicks Marie and Darling comes off the apron with a Thesz Press to James! Dobson looks to help LeRae with a run up the ropes, only for Jazz to cut them off. LeRae finds herself pulled up by her hair by Marie. LeRae evades a standing moonsault and gives her a chin breaker. Darling splashes James in opposite corners. James moves out of the trajectory of second rope crossbody. The veteran team bullies Darling in their half off the ring. Darling kicks Marie away. Dobson unloads with chops. She bandera’s to the apron and cracks Marie in the face with a knee strike. Dobson lands a high crossbody, but Jazz and James break the cover. Darling and Dobson give them a pair of stunners. LeRae puts Marie in an Octopus Stretch, adding in a knee strike with it. Jazz cracks LeRae with a right hand. Darling spears Jazz. James tornado DDT’s Darling. Dobson kicks out James’ knee before hitting a fisherwoman’s buster. Marie hits the Widow’s Peak on Dobson for the pin at 14:29. While Eagles would have been great in this role, Darling turned out to be a good replacement, putting in a solid performance and having the most memorable moment of the match with the former Victoria. The one complaint I have is that the veterans really outshined the SHIMMER team, which I can be forgiving about since they were the winners, but it felt like LeRae and Dobson were complete non-factors. This was only a slight step down from the other matches on the show, which I consider a success. **¾

Worker Ant introduces Bullet Ant, the former Arctic Rescue Ant reborn. He took a bullet for Worker Ant in the Infinite Gauntlet and a bullet for Fire Ant last month, hence the name. The Colony has always been about watching each others’ back and Bullet Ant has Worker Ant’s back.

King of Trios 2016 First Round Match
JLA (Worker Ant, Bullet Ant & Missile Assault Man) vs. The heXed Men (Hallowicked, Icarus & Jigsaw)

Jigsaw is now a “heXed” man and a member of Hallowicked’s army. Jigsaw as the final member of the heXed Men adds a very interesting dynamic to not just the group overall, but to this particular trio, as all 3 men are Gen 1 originals and former King of Trios champions.UltraMantis Black is in their corner. The heXed Men attack the Ants before the bell. Worker Ant comes to Missile’s recuse and ends up taking the brunt of the opposition’s beating at the get-go. He knocks down Icarus with a shoulder block and tags in Bullet Ant. Worker Ant hoists up Bullet Ant for a tandem leg drop. Jigsaw and Hallowicked jump in to break their cover and take Bullet Ant to their corner for a beatdown, targeting on Bullet Ant’s left leg. It’s worth noting that Icarus toyed with the idea of pulling off both Worker and Bullet Ant’s masks when he was on offense. Bullet Ant is able to fight off tandem offense by taking down Icarus with a Frankensteiner, transitioning into a DDT to Hallowicked on his way down! This allows Bullet Ant to tag Worker Ant, a curious choice since Missile Assault Man is fresh. Worker Ant tries the GTS on Hallowicked. Icarus saves Hallowicked with a Shiranui and Jigsaw double stomps Worker Ant. They pull Bullet Ant back in the ring to continue unlacing his mask and wearing him down, especially Jigsaw with multiple pump kicks. Bullet Ant almost gets a tag when he dropkicks Jigsaw off the middle rope. He kicks Jigsaw to the corner when Jigsaw goes to grab his leg. Missile Assault Man looks hesitant to accept Bullet Ant’s tag, but does so, and unloads on the heXed men with uppercuts and elbows upon tagging in. He gives Icarus a Northern lights suplex, then one to Icarus and Jigsaw at the same time. He ties it a second time but eats a boot from Hallowicked instead. Hallowicked hooks Missile for Never Wake Up when Bullet Ant comes in with a high crossbody. Bullet Ant and Missile shake hands. The distraction allows Jigsaw to superkick Missile outside. Hallowicked yakuza kicks Bullet Ant into a brainbuster from Jigsaw. Icarus drops Bullet Ant with the Wings of Icarus. Instead of pinning Bullet Ant, Icarus feeds him to Hallowicked for Never Wake Up and the pin at 13:06. Icarus not going for the pin and commentary putting it over strongly was a nice way to gently tease what was to come later on. This particular trio of the heXed Men looked very strong and smart, making themselves immediate odds on favorite. They did a good job tapping into the complicated relationships the Ants have with one another and formally settling the issue between the former Colony: Xtreme Force members. Another strong match. ***

Argus asks Ophidian if Amasis is ready for their match, meaning has Amasis “morphed” as implied in this Special Update. Ophidian understands why Argus would ask that, but he would have never asked Amasis to join the Snake Pit if he didn’t think he was ready. Amasis comes into the frame, holding something in his hands that we cannot see. Ophidian says they need to have a conversation over how he came to acquire the item later, but for now, it’s time to welcome Amasis into the Snake Pit.

King of Trios 2016 First Round Match
The Snake Pit (The Osirian Portal (Amasis & Ophidian) & Argus) vs. Team JWP (Command Bolshoi, Hanako Nakamori & Manami Katsu)

Amasis dons a mask with snakes on either side and tights with scales on them. Argus mares Katsu into a chinlock, graduating into a side headlock. Katsu tries her hand at some running shoulder blocks with little effect, so she settles for a flurry of forearm strikes. She ducks some of Argus’ charges and sends him out with a running chest kick. A fast paced exchange sees Bolshoi capture Ophidian with an arm hold in the ropes before walking the top rope into a wristdrag. She teases a feint kick, instead tagging in Nakamori. She trades kick to the thighs with Amasis before snapmaring him into a back kick. Amasis responds in kind. Nakamori gets in a few more kicks before pulling off her own wristdrag. Her and Amasis exchange quick lateral presses before standing off. Amasis ends a strike exchange by cracking Nakamori with a superkick. The Osirian Portal hit her with the Slave Initiation for two. Bolshoi and Katsu interject, all getting in shots on Ophidian in the corner. Bolshoi takes him down with the Deja Vu headscissors into a Fujiwara armbar. Argus dropkicks Bolshoi to free Ophidian. Nakamori kicks Argus to the floor. Ophidian uses his leg to block a kick from Nakamori and blasts her with a bicycle kick for two. Although Ophidian shuts her down with a flurry of forearm strikes, Nakamori catches him with a boot out of the corner. Katsu comes in off the top with a dropkick. She knee strikes Argus in the back and gives Ophidian a backbreaker. She back suplexes Amasis for two. The Portal catch Katsu with the Pyramid suplex for two. Amasis sweeps out Nakamori’s legs and nails her with a spinning enzuigiri. Ophidian hits Meteora. Amasis lands a double stomp for two. Bolshoi hits all of the Snake Pit with lifting punches. She dropkicks Amasis, holding onto Ophidian into an armdrag. Ophidian blocks the Deja Vu. He and Amasis nail Bolshoi with an enzuigiri and superkick. Argus takes her down for a quebradora from Ophidian, but somehow Bolshoi kicks out. Team JWP pulls off triple German suplexes. Bolshoi lands a crossbody to the floor onto Ophidian and Argus. Meanwhile, Katsu annihilates Amasis with forearm strikes. He catches her coming off the ropes with a 540 kick. He goes up for the 450 Splash and ends up crashing into the canvas. Bolshoi knocks down Amasis for a Shining Wizard from Nakamori. Katsu folds him up into a Gedo Clutch for the pin at 12:45! This was a super fun match with no lull in the action from bell to bell and both teams stepping up their game. On top of that, the action portrayed the idea that both teams wanted to win and were putting up a heck of a fight because of it. I’d consider this the sleeper hit of the night. ***½

King of Trios 2016 First Round Match
Team SENDAI Girls (Meiko Satomura, DASH Chisako & Cassandra Miyagi) vs. Heidi Lovelace & N_R_G (Race Jaxon & Hype Rockwell)

Rockwell’s size is too much for Chisako to overcome initially. She stomps on his toe and takes him over with a huracanrana for two. A Frankensteiner and low dropkick send Rockwell to the floor. Miyagi’s headbanging is stopped by a stomach kick from Jaxon. He misses an elbow drop to her back. As he’s shaking out his hand, Chisako sneaks in for a schoolboy. Satomura and Lovelace trade kickst to the thighs. Satomura throws numerous knees to Lovelace’s stomach. Lovelace is able to use her legs to drive Satomura face first into the middle turnbuckle, then come in with a double knees to the back of her head for two. Satomura rocks Lovelace with uppercuts and crunches her with a running forearm in the corner. The SENDAI Girls knock Lovelace down with a trifecta of boots. Rockwell sends Satomura and Miyagi out. He sweeps out Chisako’s leg and snaps the other. He hangs her in the tree of woe so Jaxon can give a dropkick to that same knee. N_R_G and Lovelace take turns attacking Chisako’s knee until she drops Lovelace with an Ace Crusher. Satomura knocks Rockwell and Lovelace out of the ring and nails Jaxon with a spinwheel kick. After multiple chest kicks she dumps Jaxon on his head with a Saito suplex. Miyagi nails Jaxon with a top rope dropkick. She strings together a bulldog, boot to the head, and slingshot senton for two. Jaxon avoids a corner attack and lands a high crossbody. After an enzuigiri and clothesline from Jaxon, Rockwell drills her with the Hyperwheel. Chisako makes the save. Rockwell Finlay rolls Miyagi into a top rope elbow drop from Jaxon. Lovelace accentuates with a top rope senton splash for two. Miyagi second rope dropkicks Lovelace to the corner. Chisako comes in with a dropkick and hits a second to the chest before faceplanting Lovelace into the mat for two. Jaxon gives Satomura a backbreaker and Chisako makes the save once again. Chisako boots Rockwell off the apron. Satomura cartwheel knee drops Jaxon in the back. Chisako wipes out Rockwell on the floor with a top rope dive. Jaxon drops Satomura with a Race Crusher for two. Miyagi prevents Lovelace from coming in as Satomura kcks Jaxon in the side of the head. Satomura drops Jaxon with a Death Valley Driver for the pin at 10:31. Although a bit disjointed at times, like the last match, both teams worked hard and effectively exhibited their desire to win. This was a mostly a showcase for the SENDAI Girls, which is appropriate since it’s been 4 years since they were in CHIKARA, but it did marginalize N_R_G and Lovelace to some extent. ***

King of Trios 2016 First Round Match
Team #CWC (Drew Gulak, Johnny Gargano & Cedric Alexander) vs. The Warriors 3 (Princes KimberLee, ThunderFrog & Oleg the Usurper)

Like all Cruiserweight Classic matches, this starts with handshakes and referee Bryce Remsburg ensuring everybody knows the rules. None of the CWC teammates can lift the ThunderFrog’s hammer, so ThunderFrog lifts it for them and places it in the corner. We start with teacher vs. student with Gulak vs. KimberLee. Gulak escapes an ankle pick and gutwrench suplexes KimberLee. Gulak headstands his way out of a headscissors. KimberLee tries a vertical suplex, only for Gulak to counter into a small package. KimberLee tries a couple pinning combinations before dropkicking Gulak to the floor. Alexander picks up the pace with KimberLee, sending her out with a satellitle headscissors. ThunderFrog knocks Alexander down with some forearm strikes and a Blue Thunder Bomb. ThunderFrog looks to dive onto Alexander when Gargano cuts him off with a slingshot spear. Oleg uses his backside to escape a waistlock. Gargano rocks him with left handed jabs and chop. Oleg is able to catch him with a backbreaker, following up with a running somersault senton for two. ThunderFrog is caught in the corner with a roll into a roundhouse kick from Gargano. ThunderFrog takes the WASSUP! headbutt from Alexander. Team CWC still can’t move ThunderFrog’s Hammer of Peace. ThunderFrog picks it up and flings Gargano and Gulak off of the hammer. Alexander grabs the hammer and suffers the same fate. KimberLee is charmed by ThunderFrog’s power. She seems ready to accept a kiss from him when Team CWC hit him with triple superkicks. They beat down ThunderFrog in their corner. ThunderFrog backdrops his way out of a piledriver from Gulak. KimberLee cleans house with roundhouse kicks. She pump kicks Alexander and gives Gulak a brainbuster. She gives Gulak a sit-out powerbomb for two. When Gulak goes outside, she follows with a rolling somersault senton. Gargano suicide dives onto KimberLee. ThunderFrog comes off the top with a double axe handle to Gargano and Gulak. Alexander cuts off Oleg’s momentum off the ropes with a springboard clothesline, then lays out everybody on the floor with a tope con hilo. Oleg stops him on the top rope, bringing him down with an avalanche chokeslam. A suplex chain is won by Team CWC. Team CWC delivers a triumvirate of five knuckle shuffles before setting up for triple Attitude Adjustments. The Warriors Three fight out, but end up taking triple Pedigrees for two. ThunderFrog stacks up Alexander and Gargano in the corner before giving Gulak the stampede. He gives Alexander and Gargano a cannonball senton before ascending the ropes. Gulak gets his feet up to block the Froggy Splash. Alexander hits a springboard Complete Shot. Gargano then hits a slingshot DDT. Gulak comes off the top with a diving lariat. KimberLee picks up Gulak off of ThunderFrog into a German suplex, then German suplexes Gulak’s partners as well. Gulak O’Connor rolls KimberLee into the Gu-Lock. Alexander and Gargano take out Oleg and ThunderFrog so they can’t save her. KimberLee however is able to reverse the hold. Gulak picks her up into the Lawn Dart from Gargano. Alexander drills her with the Lumbar Check. Oleg jumps in to break the cover. Oleg looks to chokeslam Gulak and Alexander. Gargano superkicks Oleg, but Oleg responds with a Usurper kick. He takes out Alexander with a kick. Gulak blisters Oleg with overhand chops before hitting the ropes. Oleg splashes Gulak against the ropes. Alexander dropkicks Oleg in the corner before landing a brainbuster. The Big Fat Kill gets a two count after the nearfall after the brainbuster does not work out. Alexander misses Overtime and Oleg blasts him with Off With His Head for the pin at 22:27. If you take out the WWE nonsense, this was a very good match. Both team were well oiled-machines and I don’t know if the ThunderFrog or Oleg have ever looked better than in this bout. The win for the Warriors Three felt well deserved, albeit assumed, and even with that assumption a lot of people bit when Gulak had the Gu-Lock on KimberLee. This was definitely the right choice to end the evening. ***¾

8.0

The final score: review Very Good

The 411

We're off to a good start! A really eclectic, fun, and consistent show is the right way to start a tournament weekend. The show is available to watch on CHIKARATopia, CHIKARA's streaming service which is $7.99 a month and comes with a free 7 day trial. You can purchase the show on DVD or Blu-Ray from CHIKARA's store and on mp4/VOD here, with options to purchase individual matches.