411’s AWA on ESPN Classic Report 07.02.08

411’s AWA On ESPN Classic Report

AWA Championship Wrestling

The audio is ALL fucked up and I can barely hear what’s going on as we start out and Larry Nelson’s in the AWA studios, talking about how we’re going to get to see Greg Gagne, Kevin Kelly, Tommy Rich and how Rich was part of the newcomer’s block last week and how we’re going to see an extra focus on those that are aligned with Paul E. Dangerously, including the ORIGINAL Midnight Express. Then I go deaf as the commercials come on at full volume and I had the dial cranked to hear the shitty audio of the AWA show. These are the pains I go through for you people.

Match One:
Mike Tolos vs. Greg Gagne

From the same tapings as last episode’s batch of matches so the ring is still effervescently white. Gagne starts out quick with a pair of armdrags and Tolos goes to the floor before coming back in to take ANOTHER armdrag into an armbar. Tolos gets to his feet and goes to the eyes before clamping on a hammerlock. Gagne gets a single-leg pick-up to get out of it and then cartwheels away from a Tolos monkey flip attempt before he NEARLY CRIPPLES HIMSELF ON A FLYING HEADSCISSORS. Sweet merciful crap, that was UGLY. He gets over on it but he was perilously close to ramming his head into the mat. Gagne hops around like his knee got tweaked but I think it’s just covering for the blown spot. He hammers and chops Tolos against the ropes, ramming him into the turnbuckle before getting another single-leg takedown and locking in a stepover toehold. Gagne turns it into a leglock and cranks on it before Tolos goes to the eyes to break the hold. Irish whip into the corner by Tolos and he follows with an elbow. Tolos tries for a slam but Gagne gets a small package for two and then takes over with some shots and a BIG kneelift. Irish whip into a back bodydrop and it’s GAGNE SLEEPER TIME BITCHES!! Tolos goes limper than I was after hearing about a Mini-Me porn and the referee calls for the bell!! Gagne continues to limp after the match but my kayfabe-sense is still tingling a little.

Winner: Greg Gagne (submission, Gagne sleeper)

Match Analysis: The usual Gagne vs. jobber match that was only made interesting by the near-crippling. I really think that he was just selling the knee to try to cover the botch, but I’ll give him credit for at least doing that. A lot of the other guys that botch moves (and there are a LOT of them), don’t even bother trying to make up for it. It doesn’t make the match good, but at least Gagne showed a little pride in his work.

We head to the AWA studios and Larry Nelson’s got Verne Gagne with him and Nelson asks about trends in wrestling and Gagne talks about how history is repeating itself and Verne talks about how he was a great wrestler and is a wrestler that’s there to wrestle, not hype himself. Gagne says that when he was a big star, people were interested in seeing wrestlers wrestle and that he thinks that the same is true now. He says that people are starting to see through the hype of the other leagues and he actually mentions the WWF and NWA by name. He actually has the GALL to claim that you don’t need a snake to win a match. If that’s your idea of wrestling sir, then I don’t think I’d like to watch it. Gagne tries to put over the AWA as the territory with real wrestlers and Larry Nelson blows it five seconds later by bringing up Nick Kiniski. Gagne says that Kiniski was in the WWF and that he came to the AWA to WRESTLE and then brings up Adrian Adonis and how he was sick of the hype and left New York. Yeah, I’m sure his being half a ton had nothing to do with that at all. Just because you tell people that they’re over the hype, won’t make it so. I’m just saying is all, Verne. The talk turns to Tommy Rich and The ORIGINAL Midnight Express and Verne continues to talk about how they WRESTLE in the AWA. WRESTLE, WRESTLE, WE WRESTLE!! ALWAYS WRESTLING!! Good lord, that really came off like pandering, bordering on begging.

Match Two:
Rocky Stone vs. Kevin Kelly w/Madusa

Someone needs to take that crimping iron away from Madusa, STAT. Kelly is still doing his Mr. Magnificent gimmick and yeah, I’m not paying attention to anything else because Madusa is spanking her own ass. I’m done for the next little bit…I’m sorry, what? I have to really cover the match? I just want to..stare and…spank it honey. Oh FINE, I’ll do the match now. Kelly hits the posedown routine and talks some shit to the front row, offering some of the rubes to come into the ring and get themselves a taste. By the by, Madusa looks like she needs a nose-job badly, like Jennifer Aniston before Friends. Kelly pushes Stone into a corner off of a lockup and gives him a clean break, taunting the crowd a little before getting a knee to the gut and some forearms to put Stone down. Kelly rams Stone into the top turnbuckle and then snap mares him over into a neck crank. He works on that for a little bit and then turns it into a reverse chinlock, taking Stone back down to the mat and turning it back into the neck crank. Back to the reverse chinlock as Kelly is pushing the limits of his moveset and he gets some forearms to the chest before continuing to crank on Rocky’s head like it’s a bottle cap. Stone looks like he’s out and just before the match is called by the ref, Kelly goes back to the reverse chinlock. Stone goes to the eyes to get free and rams Kelly’s head into the top turnbuckle but Kelly gets the knee to the gut again and Irish whips Stone in for a forearm/clothesline move before finishing him off with a not-very-snapped suplex. Kelly covers and gets the 1-2-3 as Verne does his best to put Kelly over on commentary, talking about how he thinks he sees a bit of a yellow streak in Kelly. Yeesh.

Winner: Kevin Kelly (pinfall, “snap” suplex)

Match Analysis: Ugh. When even jobber extraordinaire, Rocky Stone can’t make you look good, there’s no hope. Kelly was big and strong and had the body, but he just couldn’t put it together in the ring in any credible way that would make you believe he could be a top star. At least Madusa was smoking in her leather miniskirt though.

Match Three:
Art Washington vs. Tommy Rich

Washington starts out quick with a side headlock takeover, but Rich counters it into a headscissors straight away. It’s kind of fun to wtach a Tommy Rich match without having to hear Lee Mullet talk shit about his weight. Verne on color commentary talks about how Rich drove Sherri Martel out of the AWA in a segment we’ll get to in the comments section later on. Washington gets to the ropes to break the hold and they’re back to their feet with Rich getting a drop toehold into a front facelock. Washington gets to his feet and pushes Rich into the corner, trying a cheap shot but Rich blocks it and lands a right hand of his own. Washington gets anotehr side headlock but Rich turns it into a belly to back suplex and gets a long two-count. Amateur wrestling takeover leads to another two-count and Rich holds the front facelock again, forcing Washington into the ropes for a break. Washington is PISSED, but ends up back on the mat after an armdrag takeover. Washington rolls right into the ropes though so Rich is forced to break the hold. They lace fingers but Rich breaks it quickly, hip tossing Washington over before backing away and grabbing a side headlock, cranking and grinding at Washington’s ears. He transitions to a go-behind and tries for a roll-up but only gets two before going back to the front facelock. Again, this moveset is just…screaming depth. Washington breaks the front facelock with some shots to the gut and gets a kneelift before going to the eyes. He Irish whips Rich into the corner and charges in missing the SOFTEST TACKLE IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD. Honest to crap, he skipped into the turnbuckle. There are no words really. Rich grabs him and rams him into the turnbuckle before Irish whipping him in for a reverse elbow. Rich tries another Irish whip but Washington reverses it with Rich just running past him and then hitting the ass-ugliest Thesz Press I’ve ever seen for the three-count. One of Rich’s feet didn’t even get off the ground, though it was just as much Washington’s fault it looked like. Just hideous. It looks even worse on the replay.

Winner: Tommy Rich (pinfall, “Thesz Press”)

Match Analysis: Is there something in the air at this TV taping? Botches are EVERYWHERE and none of the contracted talent looks any good in their squashes. Horrible match, in every sense of the word.

Larry Nelson is back with us, talking about the AWA’s trip to the Montana State Fair and then he tells all the other State Fair’s to forget about all the glitzy, glittery wrestling leagues and book the AWA for their wrestling action. Honestly Larry, I don’t think you have much to worry about because outside of their noted “Tent Tour”, I don’t think that the WWF would touch State Fairs with a fifty-foot pole. That lucrative market is ALL YOURS BABY~! He thanks the people that helped everyone put the Montana shows on and here comes Curt Hennig!!! Hennig says that he’s so proud of himself because he did what Hulk Hogan, Ric Flair and Andre The Giant couldn’t do. He defeated Nick Bockwinkel and became the World Heavyweight Wrestling Champion. Hennig says from coast-to-coast he is the only wrestling champion that matters before he does a little plugging to try to get people out to the house shows. I’m guessing this must have been around when attendance started to nose-dive after the SuperClash II debacle.

Match Four:
Chris Curtis vs. Steve Olsonoski

Oh joy. They lock up and immediately Trongard makes fun of Curtis for having a farmer’s tan sunburn. Not on both arms mind you, just on the one. That makes it classier you know. It’s going to be distracting me for the entire match now that he mentioned it. They break when they hit the ropes and then lock up again with Olsonoski getting a takedown into a hammerlock ON THE BURNT ARM!! What an asshole. He transitions to a front facelock but Curtis makes the ropes to break the hold. Curtis goes to a standing arm-wringer and Olsonoski rolls out of it into a hip toss before they do a stand-off. Curtis calls for the test of strength but Steve O turns it into a headlock, getting shot off into the ropes and both men do some rope-running. Olsonoski gets a hip toss at the end of it and a drop toehold before picking Curtis up and chopping him back down. Backbreaker scores for Olsonoski and he moves to a top wristlock on the mat, holding it until Curtis hits the ropes for the break. Curtis pushes Olsonoski into the corner after Steve O gets a go-behind and rams his ass into Olsonoski’s gut a couple of times as Verne keeps trying to put over the technical wrestling, chastising the fans that shout “Boring” for not knowing how great what they’re seeing is. That’s right, you don’t need to listen to those paying customers, Verne. YOU’LL SHOW ‘EM ALL!! TECHNICAL WRESTLING WILL REIGN SUPREME!! Right hands from Curtis and he chokes Olsonoski across the top rope before working him over in the corner. Irish whip in and Curtis gets a kick tot he gut before dropping a knee for a two-count. Curtis falls over trying for a snap mare and finally succeeds on it, moving to a reverse chinlock as Olsonoski tries to get the crowd behind him with some hand-clapping. Olsonoski gets to his feet and armdrags Curtis over before rolling out of the way of a couple elbowdrops. He gets up on the second rope and comes off with a double-axehandle before Irish whipping Curtis in for a BIG dropkick. Olsonoski tries for a vertical suplex and can’t get Curtis up before he gets him over the second time around. Steve O nearly whiffs picking Curtis up off of an Irish whip before getting an airplane spin. He drops Curtis like a bad habit and then covers him for the 1-2-3!!

Winner: Steve Olsonoski (pinfall, airplane spin)

Match Analysis: This is seeming less like AWA Championship Wrestling and more like an episode of WWF Superstars, just with shittier wrestling. I just…..yeah, I don’t even know what to say really. Steve O bores me to tears and the most entertaining part of this match was watching Curtis try to work around his sunburn.

Match Five:
Jim Evans and Stony Burke vs. The ORIGINAL Midnight Express (Dennis Condrey and Randy Rose) w/Paul E. Dangerously

Burke has a trucker hat with his name across the front, which moves him to the top of the redneck list, ahead of Chris Curtis and his one-armed farmer’s sunburn. Paul E. still has that hideously fantastic suit on and does his usual introduction of the Midnight Express. The crowd gives them NO reaction whatsoever. Barely a peep, so I’m guessing they’re still trying to get themselves over with the AWA crowd. Condrey and Burke are set to get things underway and Condrey gets a short kneelift into a front facelock takeover, trying for a pin before going back to the front facelock. Condrey gets up and just throws Burke out to the floor, with Rose helping him out to the concrete and then throwing him back into the ring. Tag to Rose and Condrey gets an Irish whip, Irish whipping Rose into Burke for a clothesline. Jumping kneedrop from Rose and he tags Condrey back in for a couple of puncehs to the ribs. Burke fires some forearms and grabs a side headlock, dragging Condrey into the corner to tag Evans and Condrey makes his own save, working over both jobbers before pushing a dropkick to the side and hitting a HARD snap-suplex. Tag to Rose and Rose gets a big bodyslam before going up to the second rope for a fistdrop. Irish whip from Rose and he gets a reverse elbow, tagging in Condrey for a DOUBLE-UNDERHOOK SUPLEX!! Dangerously talks some shit into the camera and in the middle of the ring, Condrey gets an abdominal stretch, turning it into a pinning combination that gets two. Condrey tags in Rose and he picks Evans up for another slam before hitting a VADER SPLASH!! Two-count but Rose picks him up before the three, tagging Condrey back in and he just bullies Evans to the mat, scrubbing his face against the canvas. Condrey gets a couple of two-counts after a three-quarter nelson and Condrey picks Evans up for a POWERSLAM. Burke comes into the ring and while the referee deals with him, the Express do some double-teaming, making an illegal switch with Rose hitting a suplex on Evans. Tag to Condrey and he hits a forearm before picking Evans up for a backbreaker, CRANKING on it even after he drops Evans onto his knee. Condrey goes to a roll-up but only gets two, and he tags in Rose for the Irish whip clothesline again. That gets another two-count but Rose was acting like it was supposed to be three. EVANS IS SHOOTIN’, BROTHER!! Rose picks him up and slams him again, dropping a knee across the chest before tagging in Condrey. CONDREY WITH A BRAINBUSTER!!! GET ‘IM A BODYBAG…YEAHHHHHH!! Suffice to say, it’s all over. The replay shows that it was actually a fairly unprotected brainbuster so it could have done a little damage.

Winners: The ORIGINAL Midnight Express (pinfall, Condrey brainbuster)

Match Analysis: This was WAYYYY too long. Really, by at least five minutes, if not more. Granted the match was only seven minutes long or so, but they really could have accomplished the same thing in two minutes. My big pet peeve reared its ugly head again as they ran out of things to do so the Express repeated some of their spots over again later in the match. Possibly one of the worst main events that I’ve seen yet on these AWA shows.

After the match, Larry Nelson brings in Wahoo McDaniel and DJ Peterson, who looks nothing like a molester with that mustache and permed mullet, no sir he doesn’t. Not in the least. Peterson talks about the competition in the AWA and and he says that they’ll be putting 110% in the whole time. McDaniel talks about the Cubans at the Pan-Am Games before he turns his attention to the Russians. He says that you better be able to wrestle when you come to the AWA and that if you can’t take care of yourself you’re in trouble. Wahoo says that all the tough competition is coming to the AWA and that the competition is what makes wrestlers great. He guarantees that they’ll be tag champs as Larry Nelson asks them about the Midnight Express. Peterson says that they’re one of the best tag teams in the world and McDaniel talks about how they used to be the NWA tag champions, which shows how tough the competition is before he adds that they don’t CARE how tough the competition is. Wahoo, I buy as a badass. Peterson, yeah…you know what? UH UH!

Back from the commercial and I guess that last squash was indeed the main event. Larry Nelson’s in the studio, talking about the fan of the week and that he wants to send a “wuzzup” to Polish Joe. NINJA STAR WARS FTW~! Nelson runs down the action from today’s show, and he calls Tommy Rich a force to be reckoned with in the AWA. He tells us all to come back next week and we’re out!!

Final Thoughts

Bad. Worst show yet. Bad show make Randy cry. Comments now.

Fun With Comments

From Norm:
“While it is true Verne was very protective of Kayfabe and kept Bischoff largely in the dark, Larry Nelson was “smartened up” very early on by AWA promoter Wally Karbo. Wally taught him how to speak carny, about the various wrestling holds, the anatomy of matches, etc. So Larry did have a lot of insight into the operations of the AWA.

I read Bischoff’s book and actually was hoping to read about his time in the AWA because he was there during the infamous Team Challenge Series and pink room of doom era. Unfortunately, he glossed over his AWA experience and focused mainly on his stupid Ninja Star Wars business and his time in the WCW and WWE. Man, he went on and on for pages about that Ninja Star Wars…

Larry Nelson, on the other hand, imparts lots of good AWA behind-the-scenes history and *NOT* just gossip. He was very deep in a lot of the things going on. Unfortunately, Larry was gone by the time TCS and the pink room rolled around. “

I’ll have to give it a look sometime and see how it is. Bischoff’s book is another one I haven’t had a chance to pick up, but it sounds interesting, even minus the AWA stuff. Thanks for the insight.

From HMFiles:
“Technically speaking, Steve O was not a jobber as described here (or at least not always a jobber.) He did have significant success in Georgia in the early 80s and Pacific Northwest after that. That being said, however, he was anything but significant in 1987. If someone asked me about Steve Olsonoski at that time, my deeply educated response would have been “…. Who?” “

Yeah, technically he wasn’t a jobber, but when you’re more known in the territory as a referee instead of talent, that says something. I just never got Steve O, but then again, I hated bland babyface champion Rick Martel too. Just too one dimensional for my liking really.

Here’s some things on the hot topic of Nick Bockinwkel. Firstly, from Sprite:
“Yeah, BotchWinkel was gold, but never the man Flair was, sorry PMullian1987, I calls them like I sees them. The big fish in the small pond gets only small fish to eat on. The AWA was like a turd pool during this time, so shit was all he got, blame Gagne for that. Flair worked more dates, more promotions, and was the BETTER performer in the ring. Botchwinkel carried the AWA to ruins, while Flair carried the NWA to the promise land. Compare Starcade to Wrestle(inset a,ny AWA crap here), case closed. I will give Botch credit though, he carried the torch for a dimmly lit company for a long time. In the end, Botch got what he deserved, a fanless end to a fanless career. “

Next up, from Bockwinkel (not the real one..I think):
“The NWA only lasted a bit longer than the AWA, you realise that. All the territories were murdered by McMahon”

Nextly, from PMullin1987:
“Also Sprite, in order to burst your stupid little bubble, in 1979 Bockwinkel was offered the NWA championship. He defended the AWA title quite regularly in NWA strongholds Georgia, the Mid-Atlantic, and Texas. Fritz Von Erich and Paul Boesch were his biggest supporters and he won the NWA vote of confidence to be given the belt. However Bockwinkel declined it, saying that he preffered the lighter travel schedule of the AWA. Flair was second choice to the one and only Nick Bockwinkel, idiot. “

Finally, from Guest. :
“Why someone would come in and post hatred for a wrestler retired twenty years now, I have no clue. Sprite, you’re entitled to your opinion, if that is your opinion. But for my money, Bockwinkle (and really… Botchwinkle? I can’t remember Bockwinkle ever botching a move in his whole life, and if he did he was smooth enough to transition it into the match and make it look natural) was the best in the ring.

Anyways, I liked the main event tonight, even if it dragged at times. Blackwell was definitely past his prime, although the old too tired to stand on the apron so I’ll just lean on the turnbuckle sell he did was done many years earlier. It could’ve been worse though.

Anyways, for those who were asking about Bock’s last match, it wasn’t the match vs. Zbyszko. From the site I quoted a couple weeks ago of territory stuff:

5/3/87 Denver
Nick Bockwinkel beat Super Ninja COR

6/17/87 Green Bay
Nick Bockwinkel & Ray Stevens beat Larry Zbyszko & Brian Knobbs

6/21/87 Rockford
Curt Hennig & Larry Zbyszko beat Nick Bockwinkel & Greg Gagne DQ

7/11/87 Las Vegas
Nick Bockwinkel beat Larry Zbyszko

7/12/87 Denver
Nick Bockwinkel beat Larry Zbyszko

8/3/87 Minneapolis or 8/1
Nick Bockwinkel beat Curt Hennig DQ

I believe that the first Bockwinkle/Zbyszko match was the dime roll one, with just a rolling show in Denver where Bock won again. The Hennig one was where Zbyskzo and Hennig spike-piledrived Bockwinkle, ending his career with the AWA. Ahh well, another find from the site, see if you can link these images if possible into future reviews:

Larry Zbyszko

Nick Bockwinkel

More available at Kayfabe Memories

And finally, for everyone’s viewing pleasure, the incident which drove Sherri Martel out of the AWA:
“

Alright, first things first. Bockwinkel was one of the greatest professional wrestlers alive. Anyone who thinks otherwise is either biased or a fool. He was money on the microphone and possibly the most fluid wrestler ever to lace on boots. I second what Patrick said about Bock being offered the NWA Title and turning it down and if he had taken it then, I’m not sure if we would have seen Ric Flair get his shot at greatness because Bockwinkel would have taken that slot and done just as well with it in my opinion. As for Guest’s statement, granted this wasn’t Bockwinkel’s FINAL match, but it was his last big match on television for the most part, and he was pretty much done soon after that, minus those couple of spot show matches. You could tell even as Bockwinkel left the ring that it was nearly the end as he kind of stood and waved and tried to drink in as much of the memory as he could. And thank you for the awesome images Guest. Always appreciated.

From Josh:
“its amazing how Verne could go from Paul E Dangerously to Big K in the span of one year. Its like going from a prime rib steak to spam.

Ok enough with food analogies. A little fact: Nick Bockwinkel would be a announcer for a short time on the MSG network with Lord Alfred Hayes and Gorilla Monsoon. I dont know if it was a one time deal but i remember him announcing a Harts/Demolition(?) match and being pretty good. It was recently on WWE 24/7 “

Yes, Bockwinkel did some commentary work for the WWF as I remember him from a couple of the MSG house shows as well. I believe he did it for a few months and then ended up disappearing again. As for the Paul E. to Big K drop, that’s an absolute CHASM in terms of talking ability. Two completely different universes.

From Barack and Roll Express:
“Lance Allen vs. Mitch Snow=WORST EVER MATCH!
They should make everyone in FCW watch this one. A textbook example of what NOT to do in a wrestling match. One botched spot after another and a crappy ending.
No wonder AWA didn’t last much past this era. Vince would have never let this one on TV.

Hey, wasn’t this show taped? Why would they leave this match in? Surely Verne Gagne wasn’t that dumb … ?”

I agree. Possibly one of the best examples of two guys that had no business being on television, yet being there because of their look. Yes, this show was taped. No, I don’t know why they would have kept it to show it. Yes, Verne Gagne was that dumb.

From Scrotum Pole:
“I laughed myself into a fetal position when I heard Adonis weight(290’s). Must have been from his drivers license. And I love me some Paul E. With that hairstyle and look he could have played Michael Keaton’s stunt double in Mr. Mom. “

Yeah, Adonis would have been 290 if he cut off both of his legs and one of his arms. Maybe.

From Guet#9893:
“Wow, a skinny Paul E with hair. That’s got to be the most surprising thing on the whole show.

Oh on that first match, they screwed up the cross body block. How do you screw up a cross body block? “

Paul E. with hair is ALWAYS a trip. As for the cross bodyblock, I counter your question with another question. How do you screw up a Thesz Press?

From Guest. :
“And just to add onto my post above, some more micro wrestlers for you, including a Curt Hennig you can use somewhere in here:

Kurt’s Mirco Wrestlers “

Thanks again for the awesomeness Guest!

Finally, from greggagnesucks:
“If any one is interested they are showing Wrestling Challenge from the beginning on WWE 24/7 Online. It’s well worth the 4 bucks a month just to hear the exchange between Ernie Ladd,Johnny V & Gorilla Monsoon. Funny stuff. Plus they have an AWA section and well over 500 other matches.They even have Slick’s “Jive Soul Bro” video and classic matches. Check it out “

Stay tuned greg, there is a plan in the works for me to begin doing some of the WWE 24/7 online content, including said Wrestling Challenge episodes. I just have to get some things to fall into place for me in terms of other work on other sites, but keep your eyes peeled for my takes on the 24/7 online catalog coming soon!

That clears the comments queue and mercifully ends today’s edition of the AWA on ESPN Classic Report. I’ll be back tomorrow because honestly, there’s NO way it could get worse than this.