wrestling / TV Reports
411’s TNA Impact Report 02.25.10
Hey yo. I wasn’t available last week but that only means I’m raring to go for some TNA wrestling this week. No sarcasm there either. Little alteration to the rating system since there have been lots of complaints about things getting rated too high. Basically I deleted one tier and that should fix everything. Find that stuff here.
Anyways, let’s get to tonight’s program.
• Abyss is showing off Hulk Hogan’s Hall of Fame ring backstage to a collection of jobbers. Abyss says he can feel the power of the Hulkamaniacs in the ring. Abyss thought last week was going to be the worst day ever. Instead, he got the best day in the history of his life. He laughs maniacally. That sends us to a video package highlighting Abyss’ wrestling life the last couple of weeks.
• “Rage over the Ring” is the title for the show tonight.
• Why the hell is Jeff Hardy still in the Impact opening video? It’s been almost two months since he’s shown up.
• Tenay and Taz go over our matches for tonight which include Abyss v. Desmond Wolfe and a Global Title match between Rob Terry and Ken Anderson.
• AJ Styles and Ric Flair are out to start the show tonight. We get a recap of last week’s beatdown on D’Angelo Dinero. Taz lets us know he has partially torn ligaments in his ankle but can still walk. AJ Styles berates Pope for trying to become the champion of the people. Styles says he knows Dinero is a man but he is THEE man. He quotes Ric Flair and calls himself the man again. Ric Flair approves with a woo.
Ric Flair gets on the mic and addresses his situation with Hulk Hogan. He’s angry because Hogan gave his Hall of Fame ring to Abyss. It’d be like giving it to one of the fans, says Ric. Flair says neither Abyss nor Hogan will be in his Hall of Fame. He puts over the Hall of Fame ring and how Abyss doesn’t deserve it before saying Hulk Hogan is no Ric Flair. He calls Abyss out…
…And Abyss comes out to Hulk Hogan’s WCW American Made song. Wow. That’s new to me. Ric Flair wants to know why Abyss is coming out to this music (as do I). Flair calls him pathetic and scoffs at the idea of Abyss being in the Hall of Fame. Flair destroys Abyss on the mic and all Abyss can do is stare at the ground. Flair gets that Abyss has super-human strength but he’s no Hall of Famer. He again goes on a rampage over Abyss not being a Hall of Famer. Flair says Abyss is only good for shining the World Champion’s boots and being a clown. Abyss says he can’t shine AJ Styles shoes because he isn’t a shoe shine boy. Abyss says he’d be happy to remove AJ’s boots and stick them up Ric Flair.
AJ Styles jumps back in and tells Abyss to shut up. He calls Abyss a piece of crap and says the people didn’t come to see him. Styles says they came to see the World Champion and that Abyss is a disgrace. He buries Abyss’ attire and then calls him ugly. Styles tells Abyss to take the ring off and Flair says to put it on Styles’ finger. Abyss points at Styles and does the Hogan YOUUUUU~! thing.
Which brings out the Hulkster. Taz says he was there when Hulk was inducted into the Hall of Fame. WHICH HALL OF FAME ARE THEY TALKING ABOUT??!?! Hogan calls Styles weak for running down Abyss. Hogan says in the ring, there will be a couple of guys who go down in history. He then starts talking about Styles being a weak champion. Flair stops him before he continues and says Hogan will never tell him what to do. Hogan tells him to back up prompting Flair to ask Hogan what he was thinking when he gave Abyss the Hall of Fame ring. Flair takes off his coat, Styles takes his off and the four men in the ring share a staredown. Flair says they should do it right now and Abyss takes off his coat thing. Flair and Styles leave the ring but not before threatening Hogan and Abyss. Flair says Hogan’s ring will be on AJ Styles’ hand by the end of the night.
• Mick Foley enters the backstage area of the Impact Zone. He looks angry.
• Tenay lets us know he’s looking for Eric Bischoff and Taz wonders if we’ll see the evil side of Foley tonight. We get another run down of the night’s matches.
• Jimmy Hart and The Nasty Boys are out for out next match, which is apparently a no-disqualification tables match. Recap of the shenanigans that happened at the PPV are played after their entrance. Team 3D come out with a table, reminding us that this is a tables match
Match One
Team 3D v. The Nasty Boys
Tables match
The Nasties cut them off mid-entrance. Sags works over D-Von while Knobs takes out Bubba Ray. Inside the ring, Sags whips D-Von into the corner. He crashes into him with a clothesline. Knobs gets a table out from under the ring but Brother Ray stops him. D-Von lands a clothesline on Jerry sags. Brother Ray sends Brian Knobs back into the ring but Knobs gets on the offense with a punch. Weak elbow from Knobs to Brother Ray. Knobs whips Ray into the corner but Ray fires back with an elbow. Brother Ray comes off the ropes with a shoulderblock. He follows that up with a punch combination. Outside on the ring, Sags has D-Von on the ground. Sags gets in the ring and Brother Ray slams him to the ground for the What’s Up. It connects. Brother Ray attacks Knobs and then gets the fans to ask for some tables. D-Von puts a table inside and Brother Ray sets is up. The Nasties get to their feet and punch both members of Team 3D to the mat. The Nasty Boys isolate D-Von in the ring and whip him against the ropes. They try to send him into the table but Brother Ray moves it. Brother Ray climbs the ropes but Jimmy Hart stops him. Jerry Sags sends Brother Ray to the ground. JESSE NEAL RUN IN OUT OF NOWHERE. He takes Jimmy Hart out of the equation allowing Team 3D to deliver the 3D to Jerry Sags for the win.
WINNERS: Team 3D
This has to be Jesse Neal’s third or fourth turn. The match was pretty bad and a lot of the offense looked weak. Also disappointing to give a table match on free TV.
• Foley says he knows Bischoff’s shenanigans last week was a set up. Bischoff asks why Foley is so paranoid and tells Foley to look on the bright side. Abyss has HULKAMANIA in his hand. Bischoff takes credit for Abyss’ revival. Bischoff says everyone is fine and Foley should focus on his end of the deal. Easy E wants to know where the suit he suggested is at. Bischoff wants to see Foley in a suit.
• ODB makes her return to the Impact Zone according to Mike Tenay for the next match. Daffney is her opponent for tonight.
Match Two
ODB v. Daffney
ODB sends Daffney into the turnbuckle. She slaps Daffney in the chest and then sends Daffney into the other corner. ODB delivers another slap to the chest and then sends Daffney into the other corner. Another shot into the corner as we get some insight from Tara. ODG works over Daffney into the corner. She follows that up with an Irish whip into the turnbuckle. ODB charges but Daffney puts a knee up. Chopblock from Daffney to ODB. Daffney works over the left leg with multiple kicks. She then uses the apron to wreck ODB’s leg. ODB kicks Daffney to the floor but Daffney quickly goes back to work on the leg. She wraps the leg around the steel post. Daffney takes ODB’s knee pad and gets some steel step thing out from under the ring. She beats ODB’s leg with it and that ends the match.
WINNER: ODB
Making Daffney look strong at the cost of ODB isn’t the best thing to do but I guess it legitimizes Daffney. The match was all storyline though so if you were looking for something decent, you were disappointed.
• Daffney continues the beatdown with a broom. Dr. Stevie gets in and has to drag Daffney off of ODB.
• Jeremy Borash is with Matt Morgan and Abyss. He asks for their opinions about the tournament match at Against All Odds. Morgan says the roll of the tights was no big deal and that the team is cool. Morgan says the team is past that and they will defend their titles against anyone at any time.
• Scott Hall and Syxx Pac are looking in the dumpster backstage for weapons. Hmm.
• Beer Money Inc. decide to come out to the ring and they address their tag team history. Robert Roode says they made a promise to be the best that they can be when they step into the ring. He calls the two the greatest tag team in all of professional wrestling. James Storm gets on the mic and says they aren’t out to start a war with Eric Bischoff, they’re just stating facts. They’re the veterans of TNA. Beer Money Inc. merchandise is out-selling everyone, according to James Storm, but TNA is still putting the duo on the sidelines. Storm says it doesn’t sit well for either because Roode needs money and Storm needs money to buy some more beer. Storm says if TNA wants to take the next step, they’re going to need some Beer Money.
Hernandez is out now. He says Storm and Roode don’t have to prove anything because they know how good they really are. Hernandez says he’s going to go to Hulk Hogan’s office and ask for a Beer Money tag title shot. Roode says they’re in and Super Mex says the best team will win.
• Kevin Nash and Eric Young are in the back with Jeremy Borash. Kevin Nash says they don’t need a match, they just need Pac and Hall so they can crack some skulls. Young says they’ve been pleading with Hogan and Bischoff for television time. Young goes on to say it will be the highest rated segment ever because they are going to do what everyone wants to do, beat down Hall and Syxx Pac. Nash says the emotional pain is worse than the physical pain.
• We get a quick cut to Jeff Jarrett running into Eric Bischoff’s office. Jarrett is angry because six thugs attacked him last week. Jarrett says it’s going to take a lot more than six guys to beat him down. Jarrett says he’s fought for everything he owns and Eric Bischoff is going to have to step up his game if he wants to get Jarrett out of TNA. Bischoff apologizes and Jarrett wants none of it. Bischoff says the adjustment has been hard and he’s doing his best but it only angers Jarrett further. Bischoff admits to being wrong about Jarrett and he wants to meet Jarrett in the ring so he can give him a better opportunity in front of all his fans. Jarrett is uneasy about the idea of trusting Bischoff but agrees to meet him in the ring anyways.
• Vignette for the Bischoff-Jarrett feud.
• I guess that meeting between Bischoff and Jarrett isn’t waiting for later because Eric Bischoff is out in the Impact Zone. Tenay has, of course, no qualms over accepting Eric Bischoff’s apology to Jeff Jarrett. Bischoff says he loves the fans at the Impact Zone. He prides himself on such attributes like putting up with his mistakes. Bischoff says that as he’s gotten older, he’s learned to look back in his life and build on his mistakes. Bischoff says he wants Jeff Jarrett to come out and even grants him music for the night!
Bischoff claps as Jarrett, his pyro and his music enter the scene. Taz says it takes a big man to admit they’re abusing their power and gives kudos to Bischoff. Easy E says the situation has been tough but he wants to put it all behind. Bischoff says he asked for something from his office and it’s the barbed wire bat. Bischoff isn’t sure it was the right thing to ask Jarrett to use the bat on Abyss. He says Jarrett did the right thing refusing to attack Abyss with the barbed wire bat. The problem is that Jarrett didn’t do the right thing according to Bischoff. He says that’s why they have a problem. Bischoff says he’s giving Jarrett one more shot to do the right thing. He gives Jarrett a spatula and asks Jeff to go back to catering and flip some burgers. He puts a hairnet over Jarrett’s head and asks Jarrett if he has any response. Bischoff says Jarrett can quit and it’ll be easier for everyone. Jarrett has no words. Taz and Tenay say they were wrong about Bischoff turning over a new leaf.
• Graphic for Wolfe v. Abyss. Taz says all the momentum is in Abyss’ corner.
• Matt Morgan wants to know why Hernandez gave Beer Money a shot at their tag titles at Destination X. Hernandez wants to know what the problem was and Morgan says he wanted to start off with Generation Me or the Motorcity Machine Guns. He reveals he said what he said because he thought it sounded cool. Morgan says they need to be on the same page. Morgan says Beer Money is a top tag team but him and Hernandez need to be smart if they want to keep their tag titles.
• Brian Kendrick and Kaz are out for a number one contender match for the X Division title. Winner of the match will fight the X Division Champion at Destination X.
Match Three
Kaz v. Brian Kendrick
Number One Contender Match
They lock up by the knuckles. Kendrick kicks Kaz and works over the arm with an elbow. Kaz wrenches Kendrick’s elbow and sends Kendrick into the mat. Hammerlock from Kendrick to Kaz. Kendrick elbows and locks Kaz by the arm but Kaz gets out of the hold and puts Kendrick to the mat again. Slingshot legdrop by Kaz. Kaz charges into the corner with a dropkick to Kendrick. After a replay, Kaz runs towards Kendrick in the corner but Kendrick moves out of the way. Quick rollup gets a two.
Kick to the back of the head by Kendrick to Kaz. Kendrick follows that up with a neckbreaker and another pin. Two count. Kendrick punches Kaz. Kendrick climbs the ropes but Kaz kicks him. Kaz delivers a kick to the face of Kendrick. Stunning him. Kazarian climbs for the Flux Capacitor and gets the win.
WINNER: Kazarian
Way too short to be anything higher than two Hogan heads. It put over Kaz well and it’s pretty much like the Daffney-ODB match. Just with more wrestling.
• Kevin Nash and Eric Young are taping up. Mike Tenay lets us know they’ve been granted their TV time.
• JB is back with Abyss for comments regarding Flair’s threat. Abyss says they can bring a chainsaw, a seesaw or whatever. It won’t be enough to take the ring away from Abyss. With power, comes great responsibility. Abyss will use the power installed by Hulk Hogan to take on Flair and Styles. Abyss calls himself the monster of the rings.
• Video package for the Global Title. It went over the short history of the belt and the match for tonight between Ken Anderson and Rob Terry.
• Anderson and Hemme are backstage. Anderson’s mic falls from the ceiling and he goes over his dominance in TNA. Anderson says he’s going to get his first taste of championship gold.
• Kurt Angle walks backstage. Mike Tenay somehow gathers that this means Angle is going to be in the Impact Zone to watch the Anderson-Terry bout.
• A Troy Aikman-Hulk Hogan commercial? It’s as if this commercial was made just for me.
• Rob Terry is warming up backstage. Brutus Magnus says he and Doug Williams carried him for the last year. Magnus says Terry will answer to him and Terry tells him to piss off.
• The champion is out first. Anderson follows him with his long introduction. He calls himself the next TNA Global Champion. He talks about Kurt Angle’s medal and wonders if he should feel sorry for what he did. Angle pops up in the back with a steel chair. Anderson mocks Angle’s dog tag thing. Anderson says the fans should feel ashamed but Angle hits him in the back with a steel chair before he can continue. Angle instructs Rob Terry to get Ken Anderson and he obliges. Angle puts the dog-tag back around his neck and Mike Tenay calls it the warrior medal. Terry lifts Anderson and tosses him into the ring.
Match Four
Rob Terry © v. Ken Anderson
TNA Global Title Match
Ref rings the bell and Terry lifts Anderson. Terry puts hm over his head and takes him down with a running powerslam to retain his title.
WINNER: Rob Terry
Another match that’s all storyline and no wrestling. Can’t really say much about it.
• We see Jeff Jarrett backstage flipping burgers. Apron, hairnet and all. Taz marvels at the idea of TNA’s founder flipping burgers.
• Mick Foley is walking in the back. Tenay asks if he’s got his suit under that coat of his.
• Recap of THE BAND’s TNA actions.
• Eric Young and Kevin Nash are in the parking lot. They meet up with Syxx Pac. Young and Pac attack each other. Out of the camera’s view, Hall nails Nash with a pipe. Scott Hall assists Syxx Pac in the beatdown of Eric Young and takes him out with chops and punches. Hall says it’s nothing personal, just family business. Syxx Pac kicks Young and they tag “4 LIFE” on Eric Young’s back.
• Abyss says he can feel the enthusiasm of all the Hulkamaniacs. He faces Desmond Wolfe after the commercials.
• Another shot of Jarrett flipping burgers
• Eric Bischoff is on the phone. He takes a shot at the Raw Celebrity Host angle. Mick Foley walks in and Eric Bischoff asks him to take off the jacket. Foley does so and he’s wearing a suit. Bischoff is impressed. Bischoff notices a stain and Foley tells him it’s mustard. He spilled mustard because he saw Jeff Jarrett flipping burgers. Bischoff says he wants to take “it” to the next level. Bischoff has hired an etiquette coach for Mick Foley. Foley is cool with the coach idea. Foley leaves and Bischoff laughs at Foley.
• Desmond Wolfe is out with Chelsea. Abyss makes his entrance after. His theme starts off with the Abyss song but mashes into Hogan’s American Made deal. Still clashes.
Match Five
Abyss v. Desmond Wolfe
They lock up. Abyss shoves Wolfe into the corner but Wolfe replies with a boot. Wolfe grounds Abyss and locks his neck. Abyss gets to his feet and sends Wolfe into the corner. Wolfe tries to apply a hammerlock but Abyss gets out. Abyss charges into Wolfe in the corner but Wolfe moves and sends Abyss into the mat. Wolfe tries to prop Abyss on the turnbuckle but Abyss stands his ground. Abyss changes his offense and drives his elbow into Abyss’ chest. Wolfe tries another suplex and it fails again. He tries a running elbow but Abyss cuts him off. Abyss motions for the chokeslam but Wolfe takes Abyss to the floor by the arm. Wolfe runs off the ropes for a clothesline but Abyss drives Wolfe into the canvas with the Black Hole Slam.
WINNER: Abyss
So this was basically a squash match. Wolfe got in some offense but the match was so short and really did nothing for him. Abyss looked good and that was probably the point of this segment.
• Flair and Styles run in after the match. They try to take Abyss down but nothing works until Wolfe attacks Abyss with a steel chair. Abyss tries to hulk up but Flair and Styles attack from behind. Flair delivers a low blow and Styles boots Abyss in the side. Flair and Styles beat Abyss in the corner and Wolfe handcuffs Abyss to the ropes. THE HULKSTER~! runs down to the ring. Flair does his Flair strut but Hogan is there with a clubbing blow. Hogan beats the three men down until Flair delivers a chop block. Styles, Wolfe and Flair beat down the grounded Hogan as Abyss watches. Flair and Wolfe tear Hogan’s shirt off and Flair delivers a ton of chops. Wolfe holds down Hogan and Styles throws his own chops. Styles knocks Hogan out by driving the World Title into Hogan’s face. Abyss tries to stop them but he’s stopped by the handcuffs. Flair throws a ton of punches and that causes the Hulkster to bleed. Abyss stares at the Hall of Fame ring, gathers the strength of the Hulkamaniacs and busts through the cuffs. He runs the three heels off the scene and attends to the beaten Hogan. Tenay throws us to a commercial.
• We return seeing Abyss lifting Hogan to his feet. Hogan grabs a mic and says on March 8th, Flair is coming out of retirement. Hogan is booking him in a match! Flair says some stuff but Hogan cuts his mic off. Hogan says Styles is in their and it’s a tag match. That team is going to fight Abyss and his tag team partner. That man is THE HULKSTER! Mark out from me, but I’m a Hulkamaniac. The fans in the Impact Zone eat it up, Mike Tenay curses and Hogan and Abyss share a hug in the middle of the ring. Hogan and Abyss pose as Taz says business is about to pick up.
Quick Results
» Team 3D def. The Nasty Boys [3D to Jerry Sags into the Table]
» ODB def. Daffney [Disqualification]
» Kazarian def. Brian Kendrick [Pinfall, Flux Capacitor]
» Rob Terry def. Mr. Anderson [Pinfall, Running Powerslam]
» Abyss def. Desmond Wolfe [Pinfall, Black Hole Slam]
