411’s WWE Raw Report 01.26.04

Its me, its me, its that B-R-A-D!

We start out with Jericho coming to the ring with his new entrance theme “Don’t You Wish You Were Me?”. Jericho gets on the mic and says he doesn’t mind Benoit winning because Benoit will challenge for the WWE title on Smackdown. Jericho says since because he was the last guy from Raw in the Rumble and since Bisch still owes him his Survior Series favor, he wants a title shot against HHH. Jericho mocks Howard Dean by saying he will defend the belt in South Carolina, Florida, etc. Jericho is in full-face mode here.

Enter Bischoff.

Bischoff says he will grant Jericho’s wish! Wait… Bisch also makes Trish vs Kane tonight! Bischoff says Jericho can use his favor to get a shot a HHH or cancel the match between Trish and Kane. Jericho gets in Eric’s face so Eric cancels both the World Title match and the Trish match. As punishment, Bischoff makes it Jericho & RVD vs Flair, Batista and Orton NEXT!

Commercial Break

Chris Jericho & RVD vs Evolution
Evolution is announced as a combined 807 pounds. We start off with Flair and Jericho. They work a headlock and a irishwhip sequence that ends with a Y2J dropkick. Batista comes in and is dropped with a drop toehold. Jericho is all over Flair until a thumb to the eye turns the tides. Orton comes in and gives Jericho some old school offense. Jericho comes back and makes the tag to RVD who hits a springboard bodypress. Faces work Orton over in the corner with boots. RVD tries a rollup and gets 2. Jericho comes back in and chops away on Orton. Jericho with a 2nd rope missile dropkick for 2. Jericho and RVD working well together as a team, Jericho in full face mode. RVD comes in but Orton takes over with a European uppercut… and another! Tag to Flair who eats a couple of spinning kicks and right hands from RVD. RVD hits straight kick from the top rope to Flair and foes for a cover… Orton breaks it up at 2. Things break down a bit with everyone in the ring, Jericho dropkicks Batista off the apron and tries to dive on him only to be caught and dropped by a big spinebuster. All three members of Evolution surround RVD in the ring as we go to a commerical break.

Commerical Break

We come back with RVD trying to fight off the three members of Evolution. Jericho is STILL down on the outside. Flair works over the arm of Van Dam and tags in Orton who also works over the arm. Everyime RVD starts to come back, one of the members of Evolution enters illegally and stops the comeback. Batista now and he works over the arm and back. Flair back in and he continues the arm assault. RVD fights off Flair but Orton makes the tag and takes back over on, you guessed it, the arm. Jericho finally makes it back to his corner, nearly 5 minutes after being thrown down on the outside. RVD hits a hope spinkick on Flair and makes the hot tag to Jericho who cleans house! Jericho knocks Orton and Flair out of the ring and starts working on Batista’s leg with dropkicks and chopblocks. Orton breaks up the Walls but Jericho dumps him. Jericho counters the sitout powerbomb and gets the Walls. RVD knocks Flair down and hits the ***** frog splash. Batista is about to tap…..Orton hits the RKO on Jericho just before Batista can tap out! Batista rolls over and Evolution wins!
Winners: Evolution

Commerical Break.

Orton backstage screaming at Bischoff about Royal Rumble last night. Orton claims Foley ruined his dreams of an all Evolution Wrestlemania. Orton wants Bischoff’s permission to beat Foley’s ass if he shows up. Austin shows up drinking beer. Austin says Foley will be there but Orton won’t be whipping anyone’s ass until Foley gets to use the microphone and respond to Orton’s promo videos that have been running the past few weeks. That’s the bottom line…. yadda yadda yadda.

Jericho sitting in his lockerroom holding his head. Trish walks in and thanks him for using the Survior Series favor for getting her out of the match with Kane. Trish thinks its good that they know how each other feel and that they should be good friends. Christian shows up and Trish walks off. Jericho and Christian argue about Royal Rumble, Trish and the 6 man tag earlier. Christian says he got them a number 1 contender’s match next week for the tag team titles. Christian tells Jericho to get his head out of his ass.

Commerical Break.

Victoria & Lita vs Molly & Jazz
Victoria is fresh off a victory over Molly Holly last night on Heat. It was a non-title bout. They replay Theodore Long getting involved in last week’s match between Jazz and Lita, costing Lita the match. Lita and Molly start us off. They do some mat wrestling? and Lita tags Victoria. Molly instantly tags Jazz who dominates Victoria for a little bit. Victoria gets a suplex then a standing moonsault! It gets 2. Molly distracts Victoria long enough to allow Jazz to hit a dropkick and take over. Molly tags in after Jazz has Victoria down. Molly goes to the restholds, working on the neck. Jazz tags in and goes to a….. resthold on the neck. Jazz misses a splash which allows Lita to get the hot tag. Lita SLOWLY cleans out with some rana’s, and punches. Victoria comes back in and gets a powerslam for 2, broken up by Jazz. Lita tackles Jazz to the floor as Victoria counters a suplex attempt by Molly into a small package for the win. This was a mess.
Winners: Lita & Victoria.

Triple H is entering the building. It looks like he is coming to the ring!

Commercial Break.

Motorhead hits and the World Heavyweight Champion HHH heads to the ring limping. He gets on the mic and puts himself over talking about how he came out the champion after all. HBK comes out and HHH wants to know what he has to do to make Shawn stop coming for more. HBK says they haven’t even gotten started yet. The glass shatters and out comes Austin on his quad bike. Austin does his usual beer/turnbuckle taunts. Austin says the finish of the LMS match was a shame. Austin says HBK deserves a rematch. Austin says he can’t make matches, just uphold the law. Austin says the winner of the Rumble is next in line for the title shot. Austin says HBK didn’t win the Rumble, Benoit did. Austin says he would like the winner of the 2004 Royal Rumble, Chris Benoit to come out. Benoit comes out to a big time face pop. Huge Benoit chant starts up! Benoit says he went through as much hell as they did last night. Benoit went 62 minutes and 29 men to face the best at Wrestlemania. Benoit says he will be the next World Heavyweight Champion at Wrestlemania! Benoit leaves as JR and King are dumbfounded.

Commercial Break.

Kane’s pyros hit and Kane comes out as we catch a replay of Taker’s gongs distracting Kane long enough for Booker to eliminate Kane.

Kane vs Bubby Dudley
This is a family retribution match I can only assume. Bubba takes it to Kane right off the bat with rights, lefts and elbows. Kane bails out of the ring but comes back in only to get more punishment. Kane evenatually is able to fight Bubba off long enough to go outside the ring, grabs the steel ring steps and smash them into Bubba’s head drawing the DQ. D-Von comes out and gets a tombstone for his troubles.
Winner: Kane

Gong! Taker’s music! The lights go out and some freaky ass acid trip video package comes on that shows a graveyard, snakes, caskets, all kinds of spooky shit.

Bischoff is on speaker phone with Heyman. He claims he had nothing to do with Benoit showing up. Heyman tells Bischoff to laywer up because he is going to sue his ass. Coach comes in a laughs at Bischoff for getting his ass kicked by Heyman last night. Bisch doesn’t find it funny so he makes Coach against Goldberg in a no-DQ match.

Commercial Break.

Rob Conway w/Rene Dupree vs Rico w/Miss Jackie
Rico tries to play some gay mindgames in the beginning but Conway just pounds him down. Conway sendss Rico to the outside so Dupree can dish out a little punishment. Conway gets a 2 count after a shoulder charge, then another after a lariat. Rico comes back with his kicks and spinning offense. Rico goes for his finishing kick but Dupree gets on the apron. Rico knocks him off but walks into a boot to the gut. Conway goes for his finisher but Jackie gets on the apron and flashes him! He is distracted long enough for Rico hit nail a spinkick for the pin!
Winner: Rico

Stacy Kiebler comes out and raises Jackie’s arms…. uhhh yeah.

WM Recall: 1993 Wrestlemania 9.

Commerical Break.

Foley is here! Foley is in the building!

Stills from Brock Lesnar getting involved in the Royal Rumble matchup, costing Goldberg the matchup.

Coach vs Goldberg
Coach gets on the mic and BEGS Bischoff to change his mind about the match. He claims its totally unfair which draws out Theodore R. Long. They back up in the heezy fo sheezy and I feel dat playa. Long says the white man wants the black man to do a dance and Long breaks it down! Long says he is supporting Coach in this no DQ match by letting Mark Henry be in Coach’s corner and Coach says he feels dat.

Commercial Break.

Coach hides behind Henry as Goldy and the World’s Stongest Man go at it. Goldy takes the big man down with a clothesline and Henry bails. Henry gets back in and takes Goldberg down with a lariat of his own. Henry locks in a bearhug as we go to the first restspot about 2 minutes into this one. Goldberg fights out of it and scoopslams Henry! Goldbeg lariats Henry out of the ring then grabs Coach by the throat! Goldy tosses Coach halfway across the ring. Goldberg spears and then jackhammers Coach for the win.
Winner: Goldberg

Goldberg gets right in front of the camera and tells Lesnar that he doesn’t care what show he is on, that Lesnar is NEXT.

Commerical Break.

Foley comes out to a big pop and anoither big Foley chant. Foley basically talks about how let go of the business. He talks about how he made a big mistake in accepting that match with Orton in the first place. Foley rambles on and on about how Orton owes him a favor. Foley calls Orton down to the ring and he tells him comes alone. Orton comes out, alone, and asks what the hell Foley could want from Orton. Foley asks Orton to spit in his face again. Orton is freaked out. Foley goes crazy and slaps Orton DEMANDING her spit in his face. Orton does it twice. Foley starts punching himself in the face, drawing blood. He says he will NOT allow a little bastard like Orton to tarnish his legacy. Foley attacks Orton! Foley beats Orton down, then Flair. Batista takes Foley down but Foley goes and grabs a chair. Chair shot for Flair! Chair shot for Batista! Evolution bails! Foley stands tall in the ring, hitting himself in the head with the chair!

End of Show.