411’s WWE RAW Report 4.20.20

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Happy RVD DAY!!!!

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Welcome to RAW! We go to last week where Drew and Andrade had themselves a lil match then Jesus came out – and only a day after Easter – to stomp Drew out.

We hit the bagpipes, and out comes our Universal Champion to call us all cool cats and kittens. Drew wants to talk about being jumped and ambushed last week where he was left laying, and yet he is not surprised. The title he wears represents a lot: history, prestige, glory, fame, but also – it paints a huge bullseye on his back, because who ever holds the title is considered the best of the best. Everyone wants this position. Someone once told him that it’s lonely at the top. This guy is a liar, though, because Drew says it’s crowded as hell at the top. Everyone wants to be champ. Seth, “mate,” he stomped Drew’s head into the canvas – twice. Seth is not that complex; Drew is champ, Seth wants to be champ – but does he deserve an opportunity? A lot of people say no. Drew can make him jump through hoops, but if Drew wants to be the best, he needs to continue to beat the best, so he is making a challenge. Drew vs Seth in the battle of four-letter-names at Money in the Bank. Drew has some words fo just Seth…he calls us in close and is about to go in, but out comes Angel Garza with Zelina and Theory.

Zelina says although she doesn’t speak for all of us, they are really sick of his speeches. The problem is that Drew is too focused on the Money in the Bank PPV that he’s looking past tonight.

Drew is attacked from behind by Andrade!!! How did Drew NOT HEAR HIM?!?!

CLAYMORE to Andrade!

Zelina tells Angel and Austin to go get Drew, but they ain’t budging. Zelina tries to convince them, but the guys won’t budge, so Drew counts down and hits Andrade with another Claymore.

We are informed of the Money in the Bank rules, where the wrestlers will be on the “ground floor” of WWE Headquarters and have to fight their way up to the roof where the title is hanging from the nuts of the sun.

Who the fuck asked for a Triple H 25th Anniversary Celebration…?

Match 1: Aleister Black vs Austin Theory
Lockup and an arm drag sends Black aside. Another lockup and Black from behind, Theory works the arm, cinching the wrist, and Black spins out of it, shoulders up, drops Theory, works the left leg, then gets a front-face lock. Side headlock from Theory, who works the arm again. Black goes for the leg again. Theory kicks, arm drag from Black, he hits the ropes and gets hit with a shoulder tackle. Theory hops over Black, dodges a leg sweep, kicks the gut, Theory attacks the back, uppercut. Black off the ropes, stands still then sends Theory onto the apron. Black misses a kick, hits the ropes. Theory hops off the apron. Black with a dropkick through the ropes.

Zelina leaves commentary to talk some shit to Black, telling him that Thoery is trying to have a good match. I think they’re flirting…

The distraction works, as theory grabs Black and sends him into the barricade.

We are back from a break, and Theory has Black on his shoulders. He seds Black int othe corner, face first, back on the shoulders, and a torture rack is applied, only for Thoery to drop him into the buckle again. Black fights off with fists to the forehead. Black kicks Theory from out of the corner. Theory grabs the head, Black lifts Theory and hits a body slam. Pin for 1..2.NO!!! Theory with the fireman’s. Shoots for ATL, but Black escapes and eats an elbow. Black grabs the arm and gets a triangle to the arm! Theory lifts Black. One-handed powerbomb. Zelina is on top. Now you know. Theory up first. He locks the head and goes for a suplex, but his arm can’t handle it. Blck works the arm immediately. Knee to Black from Theory. Theory sends Black into the corner. Locks the head, but Black rolls him up for 1..2.NO!!!! Black ucks a clothesline ,hits one of his own, back elbow, right, kick, sweep, hits the ropes, knee to the face. Black hits the ropes, Springboard. Moonsault. Pin for 1…2…NO!!! Lock up from behind, but Theory pulls the leg from behind, Theory dodges a knee strike, Superkick to Black. He cross the leg, drops the neck of Black onto the knee. Pin for 1..2..NO!!! Theory lifts Black up, calling for the end, but Black with a kick to the face! German! Pin for 1..2..NO!!! Black lifts Theory up with the boot.

Black Ma—MISSES! Back elbow from Theory. BLACK MASS FROM BLACK! Pin for 1…2….3!!!

Winner: Aleister Black
Solid outing with the lack of ethos due to no connection with Theory.
Match Quality: ***1/2
Personal Enjoyment: *1/2
Total Rating: **1/2

Saxton in the ring with Black, and asks him his plan for MitB. Black is all smiles when he answers. He says he doesn’t know much about corporate life. He assumes he’d have to cover his tattoos, but when he entrs the MitB, for his opponents, each floor of that building, he will make sure, is turne into their own personal hell.

Match 2: Shayna Baszler vs Indi Hartwell
Baszler goes in with the squash, nearly breaks another wrist, but gets rolled up for 1. This upsets Shayna, so she decides to murder her opponent. Bayzler lifts, slams, knees, then breaks the arm of her opponent.

Winner: Shayna Baszler

Match Quality: NR
Personal Enjoyment: NR
Total Rating: NR

Shayna isn’t done. She grabs a ladder and brings it ringside, then tosses homegirl into the barricade. She then places the arm in between the ladder and crushes it.

Ricochet got the music in the pairing

Match 3: Ricochet and Cedric Alexander vs Shane Thorne and Brendan Vink
Ricochet to start with Vink, and Vink tosses him inot the heel corner like nothing. Tag to Thorne. He comes in, eats an elbow, gets kicked out of the corner then kicked again by Ricochet. Tag to Cedric. Edric in to kick the gut, then get a backbreaker off the neckbreaker from Ricochet. In come Vink who gets tossed out. Tag to Ricochet. Ricochet with a senton then he gets lifted onto the apron. Vink pulls his leg and drops him then kicks him in the face. Tag to Vink. Vink grabs Ricochet and sends him into the ring. Vink lifts Ricochet and goes for a Razor’s Edge, but Ricohet turns it into a head scissors, and Vink hits the buckle .Tag to Cedric, Tag to Shane. Cedric kicsk, dropkicks Vink, grabs the head, uses Vink’s shoulders to spin and hits a neckbteaker to Thorne. Tag from Ricochet. Cedric with a tornado DDT. Ricochet with a standing shooting star press, but Vink stops it. He right hands Cedric out, misses a right from Ricochet, Tornado DDT from Ric.

Tag to Cedric. He comes in. Recoil into a Lumbar Check to Thorne. Pin for 1..2…3!!!

Winners: Ricochet and Cedric Alexander
Similar issue with Hartwell where we don’t care too much about the opponents, so we don’t care much about the match…
Match Quality: ***
Personal Enjoyment: *
Total Rating: **

Charley looks yummy. She interviews Sane and Asuka, so I can just ignore this segment.

We head to the gym area of the PC where Bobby Lashley introduces himself and Lana. He wants to demonstrate how easy it is to flip a tire. Lana tells all of us who are jealous to wait to see Bobby in action. That sentence doesn’t make any sense.

Match 4: Kairi Sane vs Nia Jax
Kiari dodges a clothesline then smacks her ass. Go behind and she hops on Nia’s back with a sleeper. Nia tosses her down. Sane with a ki- no! Nia grabs the legs and swings, then tosses Sane like nothing. Nia tosses Sane aside again as Asuka yells directives from backstage. Sane punches her away, but Nia tosses her a third time, by the hair. Clothesline to Sane. Nia holds onto her hand and hits another one. Sane on the apron. Nia reaches, Sane slides under her legs and locks, looking for a roll up, but nia pulls her up by the head then sends her into the bottom buckle. Nia tries for a splash. Sane kicks the leg. It buckles. Commentary claims she tweaked it. Sane dropkicks the knee. Nia lifts her then presses. Nope! Nia can’t do it. Kick to the knee again. Right hand from Sane. Another, blocks the right, Spinning back fist and Nia is down. She is seated in the corner. Sane runs, hits a running fist to the titty. Sane to the top rope.

Sane dives off for the elbow, but Nia rolls out of the way. Sane lands on her feet. Samoan Drop. Pin for 1..2..3!!!

Winner: Nia Jax
Nope…
Match Quality: NR
Personal Enjoyment: NR
Total Rating: NR

Seth Rollins sits on a throne of lies.

He says he knows what it’s like to walk a mile in Drew’s shoes, but he does. He accepts Drew’s challenge, but not out of respect. He accepts out of necessity and duty. The WWE Universe needs a leader, and as much as he and Drew have in common, the similarities stop there. He is a proven leader, and Drew is not. He will be the light in our darkness. At MitB, he will take the title, not because he wants to – but because he has to.

The Viking Raiders do some major character damage by cutting a promo where they come off as cosplay dweebs rather than…well…Viking Raiders…

MVP comes out to cut a promo and is already winded. He says that he’s seen superstars rise and fall for the contract that’s in the briefcase. He brings up Black and how he is in the match, then brings up Rey and Murphy. Right now is his turn, and in his way is Apollo Crews. Haha. MVP say that Apollo has LIT UP Monday Night Raw since his debut…with what? A fucking GloWorm?

Apollo cuts him off.

Match 5: Apollo Crews vs MVP
They start by throwin blows. Apollo with a drokick. MVP asks for a time out on the apron. Apollo shoves him off. Apollo springboards, lands on his feet, and MVP sweeps them out, causing Apollo to crash down outside.

We back to the show, and MVP has a clutch on Apollo telling him that he’s “NXT good not Monday Night RAW good” haha. Nice. Apollo lifts up and sends him into the corner. MVP shoots out of the corner with a tackle and a pin for 1…2..NO!!! MVP tells Apollo he doesn’t belong in the ring with him. Crossface from above. Another. MVP tells Apollo he got wins against Rey, Kane, and Apollo don’t have wins against anyone. Splash from Apollo in the corner. He beats MVP down with some rights. Kick to MVP. He hits the ropes. Kick to the face, ducks a clothesline, hard clothesline to MVP. Apollo with a body slam and a cover for 1..2.NO!!! Apollo to the top rope. Frogsplash…right onto some knees!!! MVP with the PLAYMAKER! Pin for 1..2…NO!!! Apollo is up. Stnding shooting star after a moonsault.

Apollo lifts MVP. Powerbomb to MVP! Pin for 1…2…3!!!

Winner: Apollo Crews
They call this the biggest victory of his career…
Match Quality: **
Personal Enjoyment: *
Total Rating: *1/2

Backstage, Ruby Riott is mad. She says Logan got written off. Haha. She says Liv is suffering in delusion, and she is going to show her how lonely and small and weak she is without Ruby.

Match 6: Liv Morgan and Ruby Riott
Lockup to start. Ruby is backed into the corner. Liv fights back with some rights and a clothesline. Another. A step-up enziguri to Ruby. Liv hops onto the top rope and dives off with adropkick for 1..2..NO!!! Liv attacks from behind, shoving her and locking the head. She goes for a suplex, but Ruvy stomps the toe and drops Liv on the ropes. Ruby runs with a kcik to the face. Cover fo 1..2..NO!!!! Liv kicks out. Ruby with a chinlock. She sends Liv down to the mat. Liv elbows out. Ruby sends her into the mat face-first. Ruby grabs Liv by the hair. Up against th ropes. Ruby with a right, another, another to the chest. Ruby hits the ropes. Liv hits a right of her own. Another. Liv hits the ropes and Ruby smashes her into the ropes. Ruby hits the ropes, Liv holds the pants, elbow from Ruby, followed by a kick to the face! Ruby asks for Liv to beg. I, too, would like that.

Liv with a Flatliner off the ropes. Pin for 1.2…3!!!

Winner: Liv Morgan
King calls it huge.
Match Quality: **
Personal Enjoyment: *
Total Rating: *1/2

Apparently, Lashley is warmed up enough to lift the tire. Lana comes in to say he’s hot then leaves frame. Lashley lifts the tire. He says it takes an elite athelete to flip that tire, but he’s more than that. We see a bigger tire. It’s about seven Hornswoggle’s big.

In Memory of Howard Finkle.

I’m sure he’d be honored.

Match 7: Rey Mysterio vs Murphy
Side headlock takedown into leg scissors into a reversal of the same and Murphy sweeps the leg. Rey does the same. Each share a 1-count cover and they stand at a stalemate. Murphy calls Rey an old man. Murphy works the arm, yanks it hard, then drives an elbow into it. Rey hits the ropes, ducks a hit, ducks another one, head scissors, goes for 619, Murphy moves it as Rey says he was ‘this close” but he really wasn’t. Rey leaves the ring, saying his finger is hurt. Murphy heads outside and sends Rey into the barricade then back in the ring for a cover for 1..NO! Murphy slams Rey’s hand down hard. Cover. 1…NO! Murphy works the hand, Rey fips out, kips up, gras the ropes, rotates, then sends Murphy to the outside. Kick through the ropes to Murphy. Rey hits the ropes. He slides, Muprhy catches him, Rey lands on his feet, hits an elbow, Rey runs into a kick straight to the face. Murphy stomps the hand.

Back to the show, and Rey rolls out of the ring to save his finger. Murphy grabs him by the furry part of the mask and puts his hand on the top of the ringpost. Murphy steps on the hand. Rey drops Murphy, and he eats rope then flies down to them at. Rey favors the finger some more, hits the steps, flies off with a hurricanrana to Murphy! Murphy is back in the ring. Rey rolls in, kicks the face of Murphy. Rey with another high kick off the apron. Springboard seated senton, Rey hits the roeps, springboard crossbody, Rey kicks the leg, whip, reversed and Murphy chops the hand, but Rey dropkicks the legs, goes for the 619, Murphy is up and catches Rey, but Rey hits a Tornado DDT! Cover for 1..2..NO!!!! Murphy rolls to the apron. Rey grabs him, also on the apron, hits a right forearm. Chop from Murphy. Murphy with a fireman’s. Rey fights off, back into the ring. Dropkick to Murphy, and he backs into the barricade. Rey hits the ropes and slides through the ropes, sending Murphy into the post. Rey sends Murphy into the ring. Rey hops to the apron, rolls into the ring, nope, nevermind. He heads to the top rope. He flies, crossbody, Murphy with the roll through, lifts Rey on the shoulders, spins and drops Rey’s neck onto the knee. A knee to the face. Brainbuster! Pin for 1..2..NO!!!

Murphy drags Rey into the center of the ring. Murphy tries to head to the ropes, but Rey grabs th leg. He heads to the apron. Murphy to the top rope. Rey is up. Right hand to Murphy. Murphy goes for a Sunset Flip, Rey holds on. Murphy drops, goes for the superkick, but Rey dodges, flies off the top, Mexican Destroyer! Murphy to the ropes. 619!

Rey to the top rope! Frogsplash and a pin for 1..2…3!!!

Winner: Rey Mysterio
Sloppy start, but got a little better there at the end.
Match Quality: **1/2
Personal Enjoyment: **
Total Rating: **1/4

Charley is backstage, and they have zoomed way too far in for my liking.

Zelina and Garza step up and Charly says things didn’t go to plan. Zelina mockingly calls her a genius, and says that Drew isn’t noble, and how does Charley know that things aren’t going according to plan? How do we know that Drew will make it to the MitB PPV? It would be a real shame if he couldn’t.

Zelina leaves. Angel waits. He turns to Charley, and would love for her to ask him how it felt to win.

Charley, all smiles, says she can do that.

Charlotte Flair is here. If she cut a promo, I don’t know, cuz I had to take a piss, and I don’t regret it.

Match 8: Charlotte Flair vs Kayden Carter
Charlotte with. Big Boot to Kayden. Chop to the chest. Flair misses a boot. Carter with a kick to the back of the leg. Superkick to the face. Cover for 1..2..NO!!! Charlotte gets Carter on her shoulders, but Charlotte turns it into a drop and pins for 1..2..NO!!! Carter with a submission. She’s got Charlotte all locked up, but Charlotte is able to stand out of it. Charlotte with elbows to the gut. She then pulls Carter into the ring, catching her up in the top rope. Carter runs, misses a kick.

Charlotte with a spear Charlotte with the Figure Eight. Carter taps.

Winner: Charlotte Flair
-yawn-
Match Quality: *
Personal Enjoyment: NR
Total Rating: ½*

#WWERAW
When you could do that pic.twitter.com/IPy1BbCEUP

— GIFSkull – DMCA Trolls Suck. #Evolution2 Supporter (@GIFSkull) April 21, 2020

Back to Lashley who tells us that the tire is 450 lbs and he doesn’t know if anyone in the world can move it. So, I take it, that it just fell from the sky…

Lashley struggles. He fails twice, kicks the tire, then slaps himself a handful of times before flipping it.

Lana is impressed, comes in saying he is amazing. This is the kind of power that everyone needs to fear, says Lashley.

I really want Nicolas, former tag team champion, to come into frame and flip the tire again…

Man, what time is it…?

Andrade is here.

Match 9: Andrade vs Akira Tozawa
Akira with the go behind. He fights with some rights, gets punched back down. Tozawa with a spinning kick. A running knee to Andrade. Cover for 1..NO! Andrade stomps the back. Another running knee. Akira whips. Reversed. Andrade lifts him up and Akira head scissors his ass t othe outside. He hits the ropes and kicks Andrade off the apron. Akira uns across the apron and front flips into Andrade. Deeeeyum. Akira sends Andrade back into the ring. He follows by heading up to the top rope. Andrade is up. Dropkick to Andrade. Cover for 1..2.NO!!! Zelina distracts. Andrade attacks. Chop to Akira. Akira rolls to the ring. Andrade shoves him in. Andrade in the ring. He stomps the back. Righ hand. He works the left hand. Back elbow. Back Suplex but no! Octopus from Akira!!! Akira bends the fingers back. Andrade to the ropes. Surprise back elbow from Andrade. Andrade lifts Akira, gets him on the shoulders, Akira floats off, spinning kick to the gut, but Akira just falls afterwards. Another spinning kick is missed, he scoots under the legs, fakes a right, hits a real one, then hits the ropes. Andrade with a dropkick. Andrade locks the head. He mocks Eddie then calls for the Three Amigos, but Akira turns it into a pin for 2. Another attempt for 2. A third! Superkick! Akira to the top rope. Andrade up! Clips the leg.

Andrade with the Hammerlock DDT from the top rope. Pin for 1..2…3!!

Winner: Andrade
Damn y’all, Akira nice widdit…
Match Quality: ***
Personal Enjoyment: ****
Total Rating: ***1/2

The Street Profits are here to dance on tables.

Match 10: Bianca Belair vs Santana Garrett
Lockup and Bianca gets her into the corner. Another lockup and she drops Santana to the mat. Santana grabs the leg, Bianca lifts her and flees. Elbow to the head of Belair. Slap to the face of Belair. Belair shoves Santana down. Lock up from behind is reversed and Bianca slams her down hard. Again. Elbow to Bianca. Bianca slams Santana down hard. Kick in the corner. Stomp. Another kick. Hip toss sends her into the corner. Throat thrust from Santana. Whip and Bianca hops over, stops an arm drag, sends Santana into the ropes and hits a shoulder tackle. Bianca flips over Santana and calls for the end. Shoulder tackle again. Bianca with a stalled suplex, doing some squats, and ending the drop. Bianca hits the ropes. Splash. Santana on the apron. Bianca blocks a right. Santana hangs her up. Kick from Santana to the face. She heads to the top rope. Santana lies with a crossbody. Kickout at 1.

Santana looks for a springboar, but Bianca gets her on the shoulders, drops her onto the corner, then torture rack drops her for a 1..2..3!!!

Winner: Bianca Belair
Holy hell that was annoying.
Match Quality: NR
Personal Enjoyment: NR
Total Rating: NR

Match 11: Drew McIntyre vs Angel Garza
Drew beats his ass for a good minute then tosses him outside and smacks the shit out his back. He drops Angel on the barricade then chops him. Antoher chop. Andrade tries to cheap shot, but Drew catches him. Garza tries to take advantage and gets a big ol Glasgow Kiss. Theory tries to attack and Drew clocks him. Garza takes advantage and hits him. Whip to the post. Another whip to the post. Garza flies off with a dropkick. Cover for 1..2..NO!! Angel drops some right hands to the leg. Another to the thigh. Drew kicks Angel away. Angel bounces off the ropes. Drew shoves him, Angel kicks. Drew with a hard clothesline. Whip to the ropes, elbow to the chest. Drew misses a right. Big Boot to the face. Drew to the top rope. Dies. Barely hits an axe handle, kips up, waits in the corner. Drew turns. Garza tries to head to the outside, does, and Drew rips his pants. Drew with a dive over the top rope and a senton onto the three men! He sends Garza back into the ring, tosses Andrade over the barricade. Claymore to Theory! Garza tries for a rollup and gets a 2. Rope work. CLAYMORE!!! Pin for 1…2…3!!!

Garza tries for a rollup and gets a 2. Rope work. CLAYMORE!!! Pin for 1…2…3!!!

Winner: Drew McIntyre

Match Quality: **
Personal Enjoyment: **
Total Rating: **

Drew goes to have a chat with Byron, then thinks it’s a good idea to go give Angel another kick. He heads to the ring and does just that.

Drew tells Zelina to keep lining them up and he’ll keep claymoring them down.

Theory’s dumbass heads into the ring and gets a Claymore for his troubles.

End Show