411’s WWE Smackdown Report 5.29.09

Welcome to 411’s Weekly Smackdown! Report. I am JP Truss your play-by-play man for Smackdown! . J.R. and Todd Grisham are coming to you from Los Angeles, California!

Rey Mysterio and Chris Jericho Starts the Show!

Todd Grisham and JR quickly plug the main event; a tag match between the team of Mysterio and Jeff Hardy against Edge and Chris Jericho. Sounds good to me.

Before Rey can continue, he is silenced by the arrival of wrestling’s Chigurh; Chris Jericho. Jericho already has a microphone and asks if Rey really thinks a No Holds Barred match with him is going to be ‘off the hook’ where he will give him brain damage and disfigure Rey after winning the Intercontinental Champion. Jericho tells Rey plainly that he has no idea what he is getting into. Jericho tells Rey that the repercussions of Rey’s bravado will follow him forever and ever and Rey demands that Jericho shuts up.

Rey points out the last time that Jericho gave his word Rey beat him. To further his point Rey says that Jericho gave his word to beat up Mickey Rourke and he ended up getting knocked out. Nice plug and hey! Rourke’s in the house! That had to sting. Rey tells Jericho that his word is worthless, which doesn’t seem to sit well with Jericho. Jericho tells Rey that if he wants to pander to Rourke, Jericho will do the opposite. Rourke seems amused by this and leans back as Jericho says he is too much of a professional to hit Rourke. Although it would be so easy, Rourke is worthless to Jericho. Jericho turns to Rey and tells him what is truly worthless is the ‘fantasy’ world created by Rey and his fans. A world where the word ‘good’ is personified by a man who wears a mask. Jericho tells Rey honest men, people with honor and integrity don’t hide their faces. Only cowards with secrets hide from the world. Jericho tells Rey he will find out what Rey is hiding when he tears off his mask and expose Rey’s secrets to the world. Jericho proclaims that Rey’s mask will be his downfall and goes for a swing but Rey ducks under it. They brawl until Rey trips Jericho into the ropes. Rey goes for the 619 but Jericho gets out of the way and escapes to the ramp as Rey demands that he returns to the ring.

We get a shot of The Great Khali and his assistant Runjin heading to the ring before we head to commercials!

The Great Khali w/ Runjin Singh and R-Truth vs. Dolph Ziggler and Mike Knox

R-Truth and The Great Khali and Runjin enter down the ramp. Is it strange that Khali sounds better doing Truth’s entrance music than Truth does? We also get a pretty decent pop for someone who could be a rising star on Smackdown: Dolph Ziggler. Yeah, I’m shocked too. But hey, much of the credit for that goes to the man himself who’s taking a weak gimmick and pushing the hell out of it.

Anyway, enough of that tangent. We start it off with Ziggler and Truth. The bell rings and we start it off with a tie up with Truth getting the upper hand with a side headlock. Ziggler shoots Truth to the ropes and Truth answers back with a running shoulder block. Truth hits the ropes and leaps over Ziggler, landing in a split but Ziggler doesn’t seem too impressed. Ziggler sends Truth to the ropes again and Truth answers with a running wheelbarrow into a pin attempt but only gets a one count. Ziggler is back out his feet but gets caught with a hard hip toss, and an arm drag from Truth. Truth puts Ziggler in a wrist lock and tags in Khali and immediately Ziggler scrambles out of the hold and tags in Knox.

Ziggler rolls out of the ring as Knox enters although Khali clearly wants to stomp Ziggler. Knox goes for a running tackle but it is ineffective. Khali answers back with a big knife edge chop that sends Knox to the ropes, taking the big man down with a big boot. Khali forces Knox into his corner and tags in R-Truth who heads to the top rope and hits an ax handle on Knox’s outstretched arm. Truth goes for an Irish Whip but Knox counters him. Truth blocks Knox with a kick and heads to the ropes but is caught with a clothesline that flips R-Truth inside out. Knox nails a big knee drop and goes for a pin and gets a two count.

Knox tags in Ziggler who goes on the attack quickly with his trademark(???) rapid fire elbow drops. Ziggler goes for the pin and gets a two count. Ziggler puts Truth in a modified head lock to keep him grounded but Truth gets to his feet relatively quickly. Truth fights off Ziggler and sends him to the ropes. Ziggles ducks under an attempted clothesline and both men bounce off the ropes only crash and burn. Both men are down!

Ziggler and Truth make their way to their corners and tag in their respective partners. Knox tries to attack Khali as he’s stepping into the ring but Khali shoves him off. Knox is back on his feet but is taken down with a stiff clothesline. Khali takes him down with another stiff shot. Ziggler heads to the top and tries to attack Khali from behind but is caught. Khali tries to go for a Choke slam but Knox attacks from behind. Knox tries an Irish Whip but Khali counters it. Knox ducks under the clothesline from Khali and is instead caught with a back kick! Ziggler retreats to the ramp as Khali hits the Choke Bomb and ends it.

Winners: R-Truth and The Great Khali (Pinfall via Choke Bomb) **1/4

Truth and Khali celebrate in the ring as we cut to the back where Melina is walking! Divas action is next!

Alicia Fox w/ Michelle McCool vs. Melina

I think I know how this is going to end. But let’s keep up our little charade. The ladies are looking on top of their game as usual, we’ll see if their match matches their appearances.

The bell rings and we start it off with a rough looking tie up with Fox getting the upper hand by tripping Melina up. Melina gets back up and is meet with a huge slap from Fox, followed by a clothesline. Fox tries to follow up but Melina counters with a kick. Melina fights Fox back to the center of the ring. Fox goes for a clothesline but Melina ducks with her own Matrix Evasion and tops it off with a high kick to Fox! Fox slides off of the ring, probably trying to comprehend Melina’s ridiculous flexibility and Melina follows her. Melina rolls Fox back into the ring but gets distracted by Michelle, which gives Fox times to capitalize with a dropkick through the ropes.

Fox sends Melina back into the ring and is now in control of this match. Fox goes for a cover and gets a quick count. Melina is back on her feet and Fox sends her to the corner, hard. Fox hits a side back breaker and goes for another pin but Melina kicks out. Melina uses the ropes to pull herself up and Fox comes after her, but Melina attacks with a head scissors/kick combo.

Melina steps up the aggression and takes Fox down with a big running clothesline. Melina follows up with a one leg dropkick. Melina bounces off the ropes and spins into a back kick to Fox’s midsection. Meline goes for a pin but gets a two count. Melina heads to the second rope and again Michelle distractions Melina, giving Fox time to bring Melina down to the mat. Michelle drops off the apron and Fox goes for a clothesline but Melina ducks under it and grabs Fox, screams and hits a inverted leg drop bulldog! Hmm; we’re going to need a name for that. Melina holds the split for the W!

Winner: Melina (Pinfall via Split Bulldog Leg drop Combo) **

Michelle slides and takes the belt from the referee. Melina appears ready to fight for it but Michelle hands it over and leaves.

Morrison Speaks! …Sorta

Josh Matthews is in the back and he should never say ‘Shaman of Sexy’ again. John Morrison enters and Matthews asks him about his upcoming match with Umaga and Morrison says Umaga is a moron. Morrison then says something about Umaga being among the running trees that are rooted in place. Morrison asks Matthews if he knows what he means; of course he doesn’t and Morrison clarifies that he will outsmart Umaga tonight and win the match.

Shelton Benjamin interjects himself before Matthews can follow up and tells Morrison that he’ll be lucky to make it back to the ‘good ship lollipop’ after facing Umaga tonight and he still has unfinished business. Morrison points out that he’s between him and Haas twice and that Benjamin hasn’t done anything since 200-WHOA. Benjamin tells Morrison that he may have spent too much time on his ‘yellow submarine’ but he is a former United States Champion. Morrison tells Benjamin he has better things to do than talk Golden Hair Dye #5 Psychology with the former champion and leaves.

Good stuff all around. Find a way to see it if you haven’t.

Jeff Hardy Speaks! …Sorta

We get a quick package highlighting how we got here and Jeff enters to his usual universal cheering hordes. Hey, I think he’s a good wrestler but the cheering is a strain on the eardrums after a while. Wait. Is Jeff blond now? I guess blue just wasn’t working out.

Jeff . However, Jeff says that Ladder Matches are his comfort zone. Jeff points out that he and Edge competed in the very first tag team Ladder Match and now, years later, their feud will end in a Ladder Match. Jeff promises to show that his title win last Winter was not a fluke and at Extreme Rules he will walk the ladder and become World Heavyweight Champion.

Jeff leaves the ring and heads up the ramp just as Umaga enters with the Samoan Strap. Jeff, wisely, avoids the Bulldozer as he enters the ring. Commercials!

Umaga vs. John Morrison

VINTAGE SLO-MO!

Alright I got that out of my system. Grisham and JR pimp the Punk/Umaga Strap Match at Extreme Rules and that should actually be interesting to watch. Grisham asks how you drag a 350 lb. Man and JR replies that ‘you probably don’t’. VINTAGE JR PITHINESS!

Okay maybe I didn’t get it out of my system.

The bell rings and they tie up but Umaga easily shoves Morrison off. Morrison gets up and goes on the attack but goes for an Irish Whip which Umaga reverse whips into a wicked looking back elbow. Umaga pulls up Morrison and sends him to the corner and charges but Morrison slips to the corner. Umaga tries to grab him but Morrison slips in underneath his legs and forces Umaga back into the corner. Morrison nails a few punches before Umaga shoves him off. Umaga charges out of the corner and levels Morrison with a tackle! Umaga is feeling it tonight! Umaga charges again but Morrison gets the better of him and pulls down the top rope, sending Umaga out of the ring with his own momentum. Umaga slowly gets up but Morrison springs off the top turnbuckle and crashes onto Umaga! Not visually stunning but very effective.

Both men slides into the ring and Morrison gets the upper hand with well placed strikes. Morrison goes for a Sunset Flip but is blocked by Umaga. Umaga tries to sit down on him but Morrison gets out of the way. Morrison bounces off the ropes and hits the running knee strike. Morrison goes for a pin but Umaga forcefully kicks out.

Morrison pulls up Umaga but Umaga forces Morrison into the corner. Umaga tries to charge but Morrison blocks with both boots. Morrison charges but is pressed up by Umaga! Samoan Drop! Umaga just crushed Morrison like a Coke can! Morrison crumbles out of the ring as we head to a commercial break!

We are back on Smackdown and Umaga has Morrison in a vicious looking chin hold; a nice variation to your standard heel nerve hold. Morrison tries to get out of it but Umaga keeps him grounded. Morrison tries to break out again and is successful. Morrison goes for a suplex, which unsurprisingly fails miserable. Umaga pulls Morrison into a suplex of his own and slings Morrison onto the top rope! Morrison is barely hanging onto the top rope and Umaga sends him to the outside with a thrust kick!

The referee keeps Umaga from going to the outside as Morrison pulls himself to his feet. Morrison gets up to the apron and Umaga is there to meet him but Morrison fights Umaga off. Morrison charges straight into a clothesline from Umaga that pulls him inside out. Umaga pulls Morrison up and puts him down with a snap mare and locks in the patented heel nerve hold! Morrison struggles in the center of the ring as Umaga digs into the hold, using his knee to pin Morrison’s head to the mat. Morrison tries to fight him off and finally gets in a kick to break the hold, then steps up with a side Pele kick. Take that AJ! Morrison bounces off the ropes and is caught by Umaga! A huge Black Hole Slam looks like it broke Morrison! Umaga goes for the pin and gets a near fall.

Morrison sits up but Umaga attacks with a kick to the upper back and goes back to the nerve hold. Great psychology by Umaga. Morrison gets back to his feet and tries to fight out of it but Umaga whips him to the ropes. Umaga goes for a Tilt-A-Whirl but Morrison reverses it into a DDT! Morrison hooks the leg of Umaga but only gets a near fall.

Both men are back on their feet and Morrison steps up the pace with vicious forearm shots but Umaga stays on his feet. Morrison nails a backflip dropkick but it doesn’t work. Morrison tries a low dropkick and it brings Umaga down to a knee. Morrison tries again but is caught with a but thrust strike from Umaga. Umaga sends Morrison to the corner and charges but Morrison ducks out of the way! Morrison springboards off the second rope and catches Umaga with the Chuck Kick! Umaga goes to the outside and Morrison follows but Umaga attacks with the strap! The referee calls for the bell!

Winner: John Morrison (Victory via DQ) **3/4

Umaga continues to attack with the strap, hurling Morrison back into the ring where the whipping continues! Umaga hangs Morrison in the Tree of Woe, using the strap to tie him into the place and prepares to attack when CM Punk appears! Briefcase shot! Doesn’t stagger Umaga. Another Briefcase shot! Still doesn’t stagger Umaga. Punk bulldogs Umaga into the briefcase which forces Umaga to withdraw. Grisham gets into the ring and ask Punk what will his strategy be at Extreme Rules and the Samoan Strap Match. Punk responds by asking Grisham if he looks like the kind of guy who ‘strategizes’. Err…no? Punk says since he’s never been in this type of match it was pointless to try and think of a plan. However, he was confident he’d find a way to win.

Now, to the commercials!

“You’re Going Down” by Sick Puppies ( I am not making that name up) is the theme song for Extreme Rules.

Cryme Tyme vs. The World Greatest Tag Team

Okay, if Haas and Benjamin are going to keep tagging up I demand they use the WGTT music. It’s only fair after all.

We get a replay of the match between Benjamin and Haas against the Colons. I didn’t see it but it looked pretty good until Cryme Tyme came down. Oh well, this should be a pretty good one.

We start it off with Haas and JTG. Haas takes over quickly by forcing JTG into the corner. After a few strikes Haas sends JTG to the ropes, but JTG counters with a kick. JTG seems ready to go but Haas takes him down quickly and nails another string of punches. The referee makes Haas break it up and JTG gets back to his feet. Haas goes for an Irish Whip but JTG reverses it into a knee to the gut. JTG follows up with a leapfrog into a leg drop bulldog. JTG goes for a pin and gets a quick count. JTG forces Haas into his corner and tags in Shad Gaspard. A huge tandem clothesline crushes Haas and Shad takes advantage with a hard whip into the opposite corner. Shad charges but Haas gets his knees up. Haas tags in Shelton Benjamin and the slug fest between Shad and Shelton begins. Shad seems to be getting the upper hand until Shelton kicks the knee of Gaspard. Shelton seems to be going for a German Suplex but Shad forces Shelton into the corner. Shelton charges and Shad picks him up for a Military Press but Shelton slips out of it. Shad bounces off the ropes and takes Shelton down with a flying shoulder tackle. Shad tags in JTG and they hit that tandem slingshot splash and JTG goes for a pin, getting a near fall.

JTG forces Shelton into the corner and seems to be going for a monkey flip. Shad sees Haas moving and tries to step in but only draws the referee’s attention. Benjamin and Haas take advantage with a double team on JTG! Commercial break!

We return to Smackdown with Haas in the ring against JTG. JTG tries to tag in Shad but Haas catches him with a slam. Haas goes for a pin and gets a two count. Haas brings JTG back to his corner and tags in Shelton Benjamin. Benjamin nails a kick to the upper back/neck area of JTG and goes for a pin, getting a near fall. Benjamin drags JTG into the corner and goes on the attack, hammering JTG to his knees. The referee demands Benjamin gets JTG out of the corner and he does, dropping an elbow on JTG to keep him grounded.

Benjamin wrenches the neck of JTG before tagging in Charlie Haas and they double team JTG with a vicious looking shot to the neck. Haas goes on the attack with stiff knee shots to the side of the head and begins taunting JTG. JTG gets to his feet and shuts Haas up with a punch but Haas takes him down again. Haas slides out of the ring and hangs JTG onto the ring apron neck first. Haas gets back in the ring at a five count and tags in Benjamin. Benjamin pulls up JTG and another slug fest begins with Benjamin getting the upper hand. Benjamin charges but JTG steps to the side, letting Benjamin crash in the corner. JTG goes for a tag but Benjamin catches him with a German Suplex! Benjamin bridges for the pin and getting a near fall!

Benjamin tags in Haas, who goes back to work on the neck. Haas goes for a big running knee drop but JTG rolls out of the way. JTG gets to his feet and hits a inverted neck breaker to take Haas down. Haas goes to his corner and tags in Benjamin but JTG finally makes it to Shad Gaspard! Gaspard gets in and takes down Benjamin with a clothesline! Another clothesline! Haas comes in and gets a kick to the shin! Yes the shin! Shad sends Haas to the outside. Benjamin tries to go on the attack but Gaspard gets him up to his shoulder and brings him down with a power slam. Shad bounces off the ropes and hits a big elbow, going for a pin but Haas breaks up the pin. Haas goes on the attack but JTG runs in and steps off Shad’s back, delivering a huge clothesline to Haas!

Both legal men are up in the ring and Shad goes for the STO but Benjamin fights out of it. Shad shoves Benjamin to the ropes and goes for a back body drop but Benjamin lands on his feet! Paydirt! Benjamin strikes Paydirt! That ends it!

Winners: Charlie Haas and Shelton Benjamin (Pinfall via Paydirt) **1/2

Haas and Benjamin head to the back as Grisham and JR pimp the next match: Layla vs. Eve!

Layla vs. Eve

We start it off with Layla charging and attacking with hammer fists. We get a bit of a cat fight that leads to the outside of the ring. Layla gets the upper hand on the outside and sends Eve back in and continues the attack on her back. Layla goes for an early cover and gets a two count. Layla sends Eve into the corner and brings her down with a snap mare. Layla locks Eve in a Surfboard Stretch and Eve struggles to fight out of it but Layla blocks her. Another snap mare plays Eve on the mat and Layla follows up wit ha dropkick to the back of her hated rival. Layla goes for a pin and gets a near fall.

Layla pulls Eve up and whips her to the corner. Layla charges but is blocked with a kick from Eve. Layla stumbles and charges again but Eve counters with a hair whip take down! Eve fights her way back to her feet and drops Layla with a clothesline! Dos clotheslines! Big one legged dropkick from Eve spirals Layla. Eve pulls Layla to her feet and goes for an Irish Whip but Layla reverses it, however Eve counters with a Sunset Flip! Two count!

The ladies are back on their feet and Layla stuns Eve with a big right. Layla springs off the ropes and goes for a cross body but Eve rolls through it! Eve hooks the lateral press! Eve gets the three count!

Winner:Eve (Pinfall via Pinfall) *3/4

Layla tries to attack Eve but Eve sidesteps her and sends Layla out of the ring. Layla loses it as Eve celebrates.

We cut to the back and Edge walks up to Jericho and demands that Jericho listens to him and follows his lead in the ring. Jericho tells Edge he doesn’t listen to what anyone has to say and Edge should have this match by himself. Jericho walks off and Edge looks like he just realized how comfortable his foot is in his mouth. Good going Edge.

Edge and Chris Jericho vs. Rey Mysterio and Jeff Hardy

Edge enters the ring and grabs a microphone, because apparently his mouth hasn’t gotten him in enough trouble tonight. Edge declares that if there are two words to defines Jeff Hardy it would be ‘Wasted Opportunity’. Jeff Hardy had a chance to pick any match for Extreme Rules and he picked a match that Edge owns. Jeff picked that Edge has had more success in than anyone else in the WWE: the Ladder Match. Edge heard Jeff talking before and Edge knows they have been in more Ladder Matches than anyone else, but Edge says there is a difference. Jeff always impressed and made people jaws drop, but Edge always wins. The people boo him but Edge tells them the only reason they don’t like it is because they know it’s true. Edge then points out that in the past there was always more than two people involved, but this time it is one on one.

Edge says another big difference is that Jeff is a loser, a man that wastes his opportunities, the perennial challenger. While Edge is a winner, the Ultimate Opportunist, and someone who will walk out of Extreme Rules the World Heavyweight Champion.

Jericho’s pyro and music hits, but no Jericho. Looks like Jericho will be keeping his word, much to Edge’s chagrin. Rey Mysterio’s music hits and he comes out, greeting his fans when one attacks from over the barricade! The fan steps over the barricade and rips off the mask: it’s Chris Jericho! Jericho continues to attack Rey, slamming him into the barricade repeatedly. Jericho tries to take off the mask and is nearly successful until Jeff Hardy comes out and stops him…and nearly runs down the cameraman in the process! Jericho stays on the other side of the ring as trainers come out to check on Rey. Will this main event happen? Commercial break!

We come back and Justin Roberts is on the microphone. Roberts says that Jeff Hardy has agreed to fight alone so now it’s a Handicap Match with Jeff Hardy vs. Chris Jericho and Edge. Hold on;

Edge and Chris Jericho vs. Rey Mysterio and Jeff Hardy

There we go.

Hardy and Jericho starts it off with a shoving match. Clearly Jeff Hardy is a bit enraged with the previous attack on his partner. Hardy forces Jericho into the corner and puts the boots to him before going for an Irish Whip but Jericho reverses it. Jericho goes for a dropkick but Jeff hangs on to the top rope. Hardy hits the double leg on a fallen Jericho and goes for the pin, but gets a quick count.

Jeff pulls up Jericho and goes for another Irish Whip but Jericho reverses it. Jericho charges to the corner but Jeff floats over him and counters with a front suplex! Jeff steps up to the top rope but Edge tries to intervene. Jeff takes Edge down with a double ax handle! Jericho tries to take advantage but Jeff stops him with a back elbow! Edge steps up to the apron and Jeff dropkicks his legs from under him. Jericho charges again and Jeff hits him with a flapjack onto the top rope. Edge is on his feet and Jeff slings over the top, hitting a cross body on the World Champion!

Jeff steps up to the ring apron and Jericho springboards off the second rope and dropkicks Jeff back to the floor. Edge gets in his shots while the referee is distracted with Jericho. Jericho slides out of the ring and pulls up Hardy before slamming him face first into the ring steps. Jericho hurls Jeff back into the ring. Jericho steps back into the ring and hits a knee drop before going for a pin and getting a two count.

Jericho pulls up Hardy and drops him with a back suplex, goes for another pin and again gets a two count. Jericho drags Jeff to the corner and tags in Edge who steps in and drops Jeff with a kick to the ribs. Jericho gets a cheap shot in before heading out while Edge taunts the crowd. Edge pulls Jeff up and hits a head butt that sends Jeff into the ropes. Edge goes on the attack, using the middle rope to choke Jeff before backing up and hitting a running cross body. Edge goes for a pin and a gets a near fall. Edge hooks in a rear chin lock as the fans begin to cheer for Hardy. Jeff breaks out of it but Edge uses Jeff’s hair to take him down. Edge tags in Jericho who slings himself over the top rope and hits a splash. Jericho goes for the pin and gets a near fall.

Hardy is slow to get to his feet, it looks like he’s been cut near his right eye but he’s still fighting. Jeff whips Jericho to the ropes and goes for a dropkick but Jericho hangs onto the top and lets Jeff crash. Jericho goes for the Lionsault but Jeff gets his knees up. That look like it hurt Jericho’s knee who immediately leaves the ring and tags in Edge. Edge charges in but is quickly taken down by Jeff Hardy. Both men are a bit slowly to get up but they do and Jeff takes down Edge with a spinning mule kick. Edge gets up and is taken down with a clothesline! Dos clotheslines! Jeff nails the inverted atomic drop and forces Edge into the corner. Slingshot dropkick onto the seated Edge! Jeff goes for a pin and gets a near fall.

Jeff is back on his feet and goes for a Twist of Fate but Edge shoves him off. Jeff hits the brakes before running into Jericho, but Edge is not so lucky! Jericho gets knocked off the ring apron and Jeff goes for a roll up but Edge kicks out a two! Jericho comes into the ring and attacks Jeff. Edge and Jericho whips Jeff to the corner but Jeff steps up to the top turnbuckle and hits Whisper in the Wind! Twist of Fate for Jericho! Spear! Spear! Spear! Edge gets the pin and the three!

Winners:Edge and Chris Jericho (Pinfall via Spear) ***

Edge heads out underneath the ropes and pulls a ladder out from underneath the ring. Edge slides back into the ring with the Ladder and uses it against Jeff Hardy as he tries to get back to his feet. Edge puts Jeff in between the two sides of the ladder and sandwiches him in the steel. Edge raises the World Title and puts his foot on top of the fallen Jeff Hardy as this edition of Smackdown closes out!