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Acero’s AEW Dynamite Review 5.1.24
Image Credit: AEW
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I have never, in my life, been curious about the history of Chipotle…until today. Now you can join me in finding out about it!
It’s Wednesday, you know what that means…
HELLO MY LOVELY READERS!! Sorry for the absence the past couple of weeks, but I had to take my girl to Hawaii for her birthday! Yes, I am bragging.
We start with our EVPs who are at the production table, and they let us know that their contracts are iron-clad. In fact, the contracts say if Tony Khan is unavailable, then the EVPs will run the show, so they are in charge now and have a new open.
The new open features solely The Young Bucks, Okada, and Jack Perry. Lol.
We hit the ring as our World Champion is here!
Swerve Strickland grabs the mic and says three matches, three shows, in one week. This is the type of champion he is and the type of champion he wants to be and what we deserve. What we don’t deserve are power hungry EVPs that do what they want. He says what they did was a bitch move. It’ll be handled at some point, but as for his opponent at Double or Nothing…
Well, not so fast, as The Young Bucks come on the tron. They say the success has gotten to his head. The first big show he uses to bad mouth his EVPs? He needs a dose of humility. They have the best opponent at Double or Nothing for him, a former champ, someone who hasn’t been around for a while, but is well-deserving nonetheless, and here he comes…
CHRISTIAN is your man, and he comes out with his family.
Cage grabs a mic…he looks to talk, walks towards Swerve, then clocks him in the chin with the mic! Swerve is up! He attacks Cage, kicks Wayne, a punch to Lucha, Momma Wayne stares Swerve down allowing Killswitch to attack. Cage grabs Swerve and hits the Killswitch onto the belt! They all together grab Nana and Wayne hits Wayne’s World.
Cage grabs the mic, says he never forget. He remembers when Swerve broke into Wayne’s gym and left him a bloodied mess. He also remembers when they were a tag team, and Swerve lost. He’s been waiting for the right moment to make it all right, and there is no better time than right now.
Cage is sure to kick Swerve around a bit while cutting his promo. He is going to embarrass Swerve and end his reign before it even really begins. He heard the speech last week, talking about his path to the title, to the point where his daughter feels like she doesn’t even know him. When Cage is finished with him, his daughter wont even want to know him, but he will say this – Swerve’s daughter will have a father that she can be proud of for the rest of her life.
Cage then disses Winnipeg. He’s going to rip the title out of the hands of Swerve. Know this, Swerve, the pain has just begun.
Kilswitch grabs Swerve and rips one of his dreads out of his head.
Adam Copeland is set for action next!
The lights go out, and Malakai Black cuts a short promo to play games with Copeland, making it unclear who he’ll be facing.
When the lights come back on, we see it’s Buddy Matthews
TNT Championship Match
Buddy Matthews vs Adam Copeland
LOCKUP! Side headlock, rope work and a shoulder tackle stalemate. Another lockup, side headlock from Cope, shoot to the ropes, another tackle that gets nothing. Side headlock takedown from Buddy. Head scissors from Adam. Kip up from Adam, side headlock takedown. Buddy trips Adam, covers for 1, Adam does the same, gets a 1, both men up to their feet for some applause. Adam with a club to the back, tries for a back suplex, Buddy lands on his feet. Adam sends Budddy outside, then hits the ropes for a suicide dive.
We are BACK FROM BREAK, and Buddy’s got Adam in a choke hold on the mat. Adam is able to stand out of it and corner Buddy but Buddy keeps the hold in. Adam finally creates separation and hits a flapjack! Buddy to the apron, Adam climbs the ropes and grabs Buddy’s head. Back elbow from Buddy, another. He climbs, locks up Adam. Tries for a suplex, but Adam with a right, another, rights to the face. Adam hits his own, headbutt sends both men off the corner down to the mat outside. The ref starts the count, and they dramatically slide in their respective sides at 9. Both men on their knees trade blows. Adam up, tries for an Impaler, but Buddy hits an elbow strike. To the ropes, Adam hits his own strike, they do some rope work, duck under, crossbody by both men!
We get the medical team enter the ring quickly, and it looks like Buddy may be hurt. He is bleeding from the mouth as we go to picture in picture.
We are BACK and Buddy is cornered by Cope. He mounts up and hits the punches, reaching ten, but Buddy pulls Adam down by the arm, again, he lifts up for a pwoerbomb, hits it! Pin for 1..2..NO!!! Buddy rolls to the apron. He pulls himself up. Buddy heads to the top rope. Adam rushe the corner and trips him up, dropping him stomach first onto the buckle. Adam with a kick to the head. Buddy clibs the back. He flips over trying for a powerbomb, but Adam holds on. Kick to the stomach from Adam. Buddy with a right hand. He climbs. Adam locks the head, Buddy tries for a superplex, but Adam hits a few kidney shots, shoves Buddy, Buddy runs back up. They attack the body of one another. Adam holds the head, Impaler from the 2nd rope! Delayed cover! 1..2…NO!!!! Buddy with a surprise kick! Knee! Knee! Jackhammer! Cover! 1..2….NO!!! Buddy turns it into a crossface immediately! Adam rolls into a pin for 1.2..NO!!! Adam up. ANGLE SLAM TO BUDDY MATTHEWS! Cover! 1..2…NO!!! We are at 20 minutes. Adam is in the corner, Buddy stands opposite. He turns. SPEAR attempt but Buddy shoots him into the buckle!
GO2SLEEP from Buddy! He backs into the corner, goes for a stomp, Adam shoves him into the ropes. SPEAR! COVER! 1…2….3!!!
Winner: Adam Copeland
This, admittedly, got better in that final third, but all that means to me is that a bulk of the beginning was not needed. I get that Adam wants to have some classics with people he’s never really danced with, but not every match needs to be a classic, and when they are as formulaic as his most recent outings, they can become a bit dull.
Total Rating: **1/2
Match Time: 20:47
Adam is not done. We get commentary explaining that the mist in his eyes has perhaps made him crazy. He grabs Buddy, drags him atop a chair, and is about to hit a Conchairto.
The lights go out, and when they come back on, Black is behind Adam. He tells Adam to do it. Buddy on his knees. He asks to be hit. Adam raises the chair. Lights out again. When they come back on, Adam is left in the ring by himself. He drops the chair in shock.
Isiah Kassidy vs Samoa Joe
Kassidy grabs Joe’s towel off the corner and mocks him, dancing a bit. Joe smiles, then grabs the towel and chokes Kassidy up in the corner. Thumb to the eye from Kassidy. He hits the ropes, Joe is up, pushes him into the sky and drops him. Kassidy shrieks. Joe waits, right jab to the chin, again and again into the corner when he goes in with lefts and rights. A hard right sends Kassidy outside. Joe goes for a suicide dive, lands on his feet, Kassidy rolls into the ring. Joe to the apron, Kassidy with a cutter. Kassidy hits the ropes again, flies over with a flip, and Joe does the walkaway. Kassidy lands on his back. Joe grabs him, sends him into the ring, rolls in and Kassidy attacks the neck. Pop up, and Kassidy hits a dropkick. This sends Joe into the corner, Kassidy mounts for some right hands.
Kassidy hits an elbow, tries for a monkey flip but Joe holds on. He sends Kassidy to the corner, then sets up for a Muscle Buster! He hits it with ease! Cover! 1..2….3!!!
Winner: Samoa Joe
It’s always fun seeing Joe murder bitches dead.
Total Rating: *
Match Time: 3:29
Skye Blue gets some promo time, focusing on Willow Nightengale. She calls Stokely a bitch on a leash. Haha. She wants a title shot tonight on Rampage.
The best wrestler in the world is here!
Orange Cassidy comes out with the energy of a thousand sloths!
Cassidy has a mic in his pocket. He pulls it out and says he hates this. He thought after Saturday, when his best friends got into a parking lot, beat each other up, it would get it all out of their systems. They’d all come back together as best friends. But that’s never going to happen. He has been told that because of what Trent did to Chuck after the match, he has been told that Chuck will never wrestle again. So now he is in the ring alone to tell Trent that the nex—
Trent Baretta is here to cut him off, saying Orange is making things about himself again. Trying to make it all about hi—
Orange runs out of the ring and up the ramp. Security comes out and Trent yells that Chuck’s career is over because of him. He’s too selfish.
Kris Statlander is out here, too, trying to hold Orange back.
Here comes…Don Fucking Callis. Lol.
He whispers in Orange’s ear as security holds back Trent. Don takes Orange to the back, with his hand around his back.
Trent is left standing alone at the top of the ramp, and gives us all a thumbs up.
We are backstage with Renee who asks Bucks if they have anything planned.
They say she looks great, but they don’t have time for this. They’re looking for an old friend. They’ve had way too much time tonight on Dynamite, and want to give some time to Jack Perry.
Jack Perry is here to say that he meant what he said. The only thing he wants is what’s best for AEW. Some may not be able to see it now, but that’s what he did. Tony is the one who made Jack the scapegoat. It hurt at the time, but he accepted it. It was a sacrifice someone was going to have to make. But they all have to. Thanks to Tony, they are entering a new Era under The Elite.
Chris Jericho is here, leaning in fully to The Learning Tree thing. He’s in action next against Shibata.
FTW Championship Match
Chris Jericho vs Katsuyori Shibata
Jericho with a quick drop. He cheers himself on. Shibata backs him into the ropes, Shibata holds back, and Jericho chops him. They trade chops. A lionsault nearly misses, landing on the knees of Shibata. Cover for 1..NO! Jericho leave the ring and lifts the apron. He grabs a trash can lid with some spray-painted 730 on it. He smacks Shibata over the head with the lid. Jericho heads outside again. He grabs a black bag and rolls into the ring then dumps a bunch of hockey pucks onto the mat. BUT SHIBATA WITH AN STO ONTO THE PUCKS! Shibata locks the head, and hits a suplex onto the pucks! Stomp to the back from Shibata. Shibata tosses the trash can lid, kicks away the pucks, and opts to simply hit a big chop. Another. Another. Jericho hits a chop of his own, but Shibata ain’t havin it. Chop, another, Jericho its his own. Shibata eats it as a snack. Another from Jericho. Shibata. Jericho. Shibata. Damn, he murders Jericho!
We are BACK FROM BREAK and Shibata rushes the corner, but Jericho throws a fucking hockey puck at him! Lol. Jericho locks in The Walls of Jericho. Shibata reaches the bottom rope, but I don’t think it matters. Jericho walks him into the center and sits into the hold. Shibata rolls through, grabs the legs, drops Jericho no his back, then locks in a Figure Four! Jericho grabs a puck. Jericho throws a puck into the face of Shibata! Jericho grabs another puck, tosses it aside, and leaves the ring.
Jericho grabs a trash can and tosses it into the ring. He grabs a kendo stick. Jericho back in, places the can over the head of Shibata, then with the kendo stick, smacks the bottom of it once, twice, another big hit. Shibata to one knee. He stands. Another kendo shot. Shibata walks and Jericho backs up, still swinging the stick. He backs Jericho into the corner. Shibata with headbutts while wearing the trashcan! Stomps from Shibata! He finally removes the trashcan and places it in Jericho’s lap, then runs with a dropkick to the can! Shibata with two kendo sticks. He stares them down, then tosses one to Jericho. Shibata sits in the center of the ring. Jericho sits down, too. Shibata swats him across the ear. They trade hits over and over then stand with sticks crossed. A hip attack, another, he then pumphandles with the kendo stick onto the pucks! Shibata leaves the ring, grabs a table! He sets it up in the corner. Shibata runs, CODEBREAKER! Cover! 1…2..NO!!! He tries for a Judas Effect but Shibata with a sleeper hold! Shibata switches, spins Jericho and hits a huge chop to the chest. Shibata clears the pucks a bit. He grabs the table and sets it upright in the corner.
HERE IS BIG BILL with a big boot! Big Bill grabs Shibata by the head. CHOKESLAM THROUGH THE TABLE! Bill leaves! JERICHO COVERS! 1.2….3!!!
Winner: Chris Jericho
There was a lot of fun to be had here, but in the end, it’s still Jericho.
Total Rating: **1/2
Match Time: 15:20
A week ago, Willow’s celebration was cut short by Mercedes.
Backstage tonight, Renee is with Willow Nightengale and Stokely and Statlander.
Kris apologizes because Mercedes had no right to come out, she just wanted to diffuse the situation. She is so sorry.
Willow tells Mercedes she has something for her. As for Skye, if she wants a fight, she will mop the floor with Skye. She will maim her if this title is on the line.
Stokely is upset at what Skye said about him, and he cant complain to nobody because The Bucks beat up Tony Khan!
A stagehand gives Renee a phone that has a text from The Bucks saying she needs to smile more, and also Kris and Stokely are banned from ringside.
Claudio Castagnoli vs Brian Cage
Both men meet in the middle of the ring with a clothesline. They have a clothesline battle, back and forth, off the ropes even, until Cage hits a running uppercut. Suplex to Claudio, and he’s pissed. Running uppercut to Cage, another, another. He lifts up for a brainbusterrrrrrr!!! Cage is up! He hits the ropes, he hits a rana to Claudio! Dropkick! Whip to Claudio Ducks down, kick from Claudio, runs the ropes, catches Cage midair and hits a backbreaker! Holy fuck man. Cage drops Claudio, lifts him up to the shoulders, Claudio shoots him into the corner, back elbow from Cage, big scoop slam from Claudio. Claudio hits the ropes, gets a stomp to Cage! He corners Cage, hard rights till 5, but Cage sends him to the apron, right from Claudio. He climbs, Cage with a high kick. He grabs Claudio and deadlifts Claudio into a suplex off the 2nd buckle!
We come back to Cage hitting a huge lariat to Claudio. Cover for 1..2.NO!! Big uppercut from Claudio! Both men down. Ref starts the count. Claudio corners Cage. He hits back and forth uppercuts, spins around the ref and hits another. Big kick from Cage, Claudio hits his own, catches a kick, uppercut, big kick to the chin, Cage hangs on the 2nd rope. Claudio hits the ropes, goes for a 619! He hits it! Spinning lariat! Cover! 1..2….NO!!! Cage with a huge slam to Claudio, covers for 1…2..NO!! Claudio with a slam of his own! Cover! 1..2..NO!!!
Claudio calls for the spin! The crowd wants it! He shoots the legs! GIANT SWING TO BRIAN CAGE!!! SHARPSHOOTAH!!!!!!!! Cage taps!
Winner: Claudio Castagnoli
Claudio is so. Damned. Good.
Total Rating: ***3/4
Match Time: 9:57
Rocky Romero cuts a promo about cutting off Orange and Trent and Chuck. He’s going to focus on himself now, and he will challenge the best. He wants Kyle O’Reilly.
Serena Deeb vs Mariah May
Deeb and May tangle it up a bit before really getting the action going, with Mariagh matching Deeb’s skillset quite a bit. Deeb gains wrist control, drops May, then grabs the boot. She stalls a bit, wraps May’s arms around her own legs, then locks in a Paradise Lock. Deeb backs up as may is trapped. Deeb dropkicks her ass. Snapmare from Deeb, shoulder tackle, runs the ropes, Deeb rolls into a submission from Deeb. May corners Deeb after escaping, hits an elbow to the face. She flips up and hits a headscissors to Deeb. Dropkick off the ropes!
We are back to Deeb hitting a neckbreaker on the apron between the ropes. Back in the ring. Deeb captures the arm and hits a short arm clothesline. Deeb grabs the leg and WOOS. She tries for a Figure Four, but May kicks her way. To the apron goes may, high kick to the head. She shoots to the top rope, flies off ith a dropkick to Deeb! HIP ATTACK FROM MAY! Cover! 1..2…NO!!! May hits the ropes. RUNNING KNEE!!! Cover! 1..2…NO!!! Deeb tangles herself around the arm, tries for a submission, rollup from May for 1..2.NO!!! Deeb reverses for 1..2.NO!!! Backslide attempts from both girls, and they spin over and over till Deeb gets it and gets 1..2.NO!! Headbutt from May! SAITOOOO SUPLEX!!! May tries for the handstand in the corner again, but Deeb catches the leg and brings May down to the mat with a single leg crab. May reaches for the ropes. Toni is nearby cheering her on. Deeb pulls her ot the center. Deeb drives the knee into the mat over and over and pulls back on the leg.
Toni Storm tosses the towel into the ring, screaming, “She’s a child!”
Winner: Serena Deeb via Towel
I didn’t like the towel thing on Monday, and I didn’t like it here. Damn I’ve miseed Deeb
Total Rating: ***1/2
Match Time: 10:33
Backstage, Renee asks Adam Copeland if he’s ok. Adam is hesitant to answer, then says he is ok.
Here comes Kyle O’Reilly to offer backup if he needs it. He notices Kyle looking at the TNT Title. Adam tells him eyes up here. He wishes Kyle good luck then leaves.
Kenny Omega gets himself the super special announcing by Justin Roberts.
HERE HE IS! He’s lookin dapper and gets a great Welcome Home chant.
He says he’s never been good at this sort of stuff – talking about injuries, sickness, weakness. A few months back, he was diagnosed with Diverticulitis. He will spare the gory details, but fter spending ten days in the hospital, he was told he was lucky. He was 24 hours away from dying. Cool story, doc, he said, can ya patch me up and send me back to Dynamite? The doc said it’s not that simple. If they cut him open now, he’ll have to have a bag for six months, maybe twelve months, maybe even the rest of his life.
And if he doesn’t, he asked the doctor. The doc said that’s fine, but for the rest of his life, he’ll have a ticking time bomb in his gut. One day he may wake up in the hospital having the surgery done anyway. Any sort of blunt force trauma to the stomach could kill him. Since that day, he had to stop…
Kenny gets choked up here. He says he had to stop watching because his hands would shake. He was scared for the first time in his career. He felt like a coward. He thought maybe the point today was to come out nd explain that he had to retire. Then he turned on AEW for the first time and watched Dynasty.
He saw Swerve make history. He saw Will OSpreay and Bryan Danielson put on one of the greatest matches he’s ever seen of his life! He wishes he could say he was happy, but the tremors got worse. He then thought, is he really afraid of being a wrestler? He was shaking because of withdrawals. He needed to be back in this ring. Living is being in this ring. Being the best is what fueled him! It hurt him, and he hated it. All the best shows, the best wrestlers, all in the convo, and he had already been forgotten. This isn’t over until he exhausts every option. If there is a 1% chance. Bag or no bag, we are not done with Omega yet. He made a mission statement to change the world, and that brings him onto the second piece of business.
Speaking of shitbags, let’s talk about two others. Matthew and Nicolas. They have embarrassed themselves more than ever. They are free to do this as EVPs, but there is one other of those. He may be fired from The Elite, but he cant be fired as an EVP, so until someone says otherwise, a part of the power in this company belongs to The Best Bout Machine.
Kazuchika Okada comes out and….
You’ll have to head over to the LIVE COVERAGE OF RAMPAGE!!
Actually, let me just finish out this segment.
jack Perry attacks Omega after Okada says he is now The Best Bout Machine. Perry goes for the chairshots, hitting security guards as they try to enter. Perry with a chair shot to the stomach!
Here comes The Young Bucks who show fake concern, then hit the EVP Trigger on Omega and head up the ramp as we end the show.
See ya next week!
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