wrestling / TV Reports
Acero’s AEW Dynamite Review 6.5.24
Image Credit: AEW
Loading...Y’all, Michael Ornelas went full Shrek! You NEVER GO FULL SHREK!
It’s Wednesday, you know what that means…
Missed y’all!
We are starting off the man I missed last week at the show, MJF!
He does some shilling of his merch then say he was at home watching a bunch of children make a ton of bold claims on his show. One guy is walking around calling himself The Rainmaker. Interesting, because he looks like he cant even afford a gym membership.
Another guy was swerving around, claiming he was the leader of The Mogul Embassy, the same group that turned on him and whipped him. But when Swerve called himself a “Business Mogul,” and that’s just not true. They tend to go to school, and if he did, he must have skipped his public speaking course.
The most egregious claim, though, was from a Cockney Cockhead. He mocks Ospreay, then lists off some names better than Will, according to him, who are also names that he has beaten in the past. Will aint the best in the world, bruv. He is. He is the guy who did the impossible. In five years, he became THE MAN, THE FACE of AEW! He created some of the greatest matches, moments, memories, and interviews in the history of this sport. He became the most hated man only to become the most beloved. This was no accident. So imagine how he felt when he went home to heal from carrying this place and found that people tried to smear his name. They tried to revise his history and legacy and name.
Rush is here to interrupt, which doesn’t seem too exciting.
He compares MJF to us ugly and filthy Americans, saying we never shut up. HE wants MJF to listen to him. While MJF has been gone, he’s been here wrestling, winning. Where is his big moment? He deserves MJF’s spot, so now he’s going to take it, because when you mess with the bull, you get the horns.
MJF says he didn’t get any of that, but it’s not Rush’s fault. When Khan was running this place, it was rough, but now that The Elite has control, it’s gotten worse. He couldn’t hear Rush. He asks the crowd if they could hear him, then asks Rush to say it again, then cuts him off with a “We Don’t Give a Shit.”
He then says Rush sleeps with dry women. He knows Rush, he paid him a lot of money to take out Danielson one time. He comes from wrestling royalty, which might make him a Nepo baby, but he wouldn’t call him that. Not him. He sold out arena after arena in Mexico, proved he was a superstar. He has bludgeoned some of the best this sport has to offer, but MJF isn’t one of the best, he is THEE best. Out of love for Rush, he’ll tell Rush how interrupting him made him feel but wants to make sure nothing is lost.
MJF then hits him with a “Ey Cabron, Chinga tu madre.”
Rush rushes the ring and tries to attack. Security comes to split them up, but MJF launches himself onto Rush and they roll around a bit more in the ring before Rush leaves angrily.
WE get a video package for Roderick Strong and The Kingdom. Strong narrates the video, calling himself a wrestling legend, and saying it’s Go Time.
He’ll be facing Swerve later tonight.
Orange Cassidy vs Kyle O’Reilly vs Jay Lethal vs Rey Fenix
Dut distracts OC, and he gets sent outside. Rey and Kyle double team Jay with kicks, until Jay sends Rey over the top rope. Kyle and Jay fight, with Jay hitting an Enziguri then taking flight…nope, just kidding. He denies us this and struts ala Flair instead. OC is on the top rope! Diving Crossbody! Suicide dive to Rey! Back in the ring, sends Jay to the apron, right hand from Jay, Kyle trips him up, then runs into the ring and gets a wrist lock on OC. Kyle switches, OC gets his hands in his pocket, though. Kyle breaks, kicks OC in the chest, OC kips up, hits the ropes, dropkick, kip up again, Rey in and shoves him into the corner, gets alunched over and hits some rights over and over. Rey to the top rope! Flies! Arm drag! Spin kick, another to the knee, dropkick to the head! OC rolls outside, in comes Jay to attack from behind. Jay stomps Rey down a few times, hits the ropes, Kyle shoves Rey, locks up from behind, superkick from Rey to Kyle, Jay holds on, OC grabs Rey, back to back with Jay, they cant German, all four men end up knocking each other down creatively.
We are back and Rey breaks up a pin with a big splash. All four men down again. Jay and OC up first, Jay goes for a Figure Four. Get its. Rey tries to stomp the head, but Kyle grabs him with a choke hold, nearly chokes him out. He. Turns it into a sleeper. Jay lets go of the hold to clip the leg of Rey. Kyle kicks, Jay says no, Dragon Screw attempt but Kyle drops into it and tries for an arm bar, but OC is there for the kicks! Rey shoves him and stomps Kyle down hard! Rey grabs Kyle, gives OC some OC kicks and sends him outside then turns to Jay. He grabs the head, stuffs him, Jay shoot the legs, tries for Figure Four, but Rey kicks him outside. OC back in, sick ass tornado DDT to Rey! Kyle up ti hit a knee, then a kick toth ehead, OC with ORANGE PUNCH!!! JAY IN! Sends OC outside! Kick to Rey! Dragon Screw.
OC tries Orange Punch again, but Lethal ducks and gets a Lethal Combination. He shoots for Lethal Injection, hits Kyle instead of Rey, turns to Rey, Figur—NO!! CRADLE FROM REY! 1..2..3!!!
Winner: Rey Fenix
Holy shit, we are in for a treat!
Total Rating: ***1/2
Match Time: 9:35
After the match, Trent Baretta comes down with Don to attack OC, but he has a chain! He gets in the ring, and here comes Kris Statlander to hold OC back then cheap shot him.
Stokely comes out and say something on the mic that just seems out of place, but here comes Willow Nightingale to even the odds.
Chris Jericho has arrived in an SUV. He tells his driver that he is supposed to come to a full and complete stop at every sign. He then tells the camera man, saying he’s been in front of the camera for over three decades, and this camera mans’ work is a bit shaky.
Jericho takes the cam and puts Big Bill and Bryan Keith. Bill is enjoying the sun while Keith is upset that the camera man sucks.
Willow Nightingale is backstage with Renee. She has some congratulations for Mercedes. She says she wouldn’t trust Stokely as far as he could throw him, and ironically, that’s much further than she thought she could. But Kris, Kris betrayed her at her lowest. She brings up her smile. After being stabbed in the back, you don’t know how dangerous that can be.
OC walks by and gives her some props
Christopher Daniels comes out to announce another qualifying match for the TNT Championship Ladder Match at Forbidden Door.
Brian Cage vs Mark Briscoe
Briscoe is quick to get to the apron and block some Cage offense with hard rights. He enters the ring, kicks the side of the head, does it again and sends Cage outside. Dropkick through the ropes to the outside! Briscoe wants the chair, but the ref takes it from him and tosses it outside. Briscoe to the outside and Cage hits him with a clothesline. Cage backs Mark into the barricade then into the apron. Cage enters the ring, Briscoe climbs up, Cage grabs him on the apron for the deadlift suplex. He hits it.
We are BACK and Mark has some chops for Cage. He hits an elbow, a hard smack from below, whip to the ropes, reversed, right elbow off the ropes from Mark.
We see Takeshita and Don in the crowd.
Mark locks the head, Cage escapes, then walks into a Uranage. Cover for 1.2..NO!!! Cage to the corner, Mark runs into a back elbow. Right hand slap to the face and Cage falls all the way to the outside. Briscoe hops out of the ring and lifts the apron skirt. He slides a chair into the ring, sets it up and runs up the chair and over the ropes onto Cage. Mark shoves Cage into the ring. Shotgun dropkick off the top rope to Cage. Cover for 1.2..NO!!!!
Jack Perry is watching on backstage.
Mark goes for a double underhook, Cage escapes, headbutt, right hand to Mark. Pumphandle into a flip and a slam. Cover for 1..2..NO!!!! Spinning Liger Bomb! Pin! 1..2…NOO!!! Cage is pissed.
Cage grabs Mark, locks the head, wants Drill Claw, but Mark lands on his feet. Uppercut! Rolling elbow! Kick from Cage! Spinning right, is missed, dropkick from Mark. Fireman’s. DVD! Mark to the top rope! Froggy Bow! Cover! 1.2…3!!!
Winner: Mark Briscoe
A fun enough ten minute match.
Total Rating: ***
Match Time: 10:11
We head backstage to see Mr. Perry slow-clapping.
Jack Perry says he has proven that nobody is willing to sacrifice as much as him. He has proven that he cannot be stopped. The universe has already chosen him, and one way or another, he is the next TNT Champion.
Backstage, Hook and Samoa Joe are backstage. Hook is chowing down on some Funyuns. Renee asks Joe if he is Hook’s mentor. Joe is about to explain that he is not a mentor, but Tony Nese comes up to make fun of Hook for eating Funyuns. Hook clowns him for bein a loser. Hook tries to attack, but Joe stops him and tries to teach him that they’ll handle that, but they’ll do it on their time.
We are live, and The Acclaimed make their entrace. Max is about to rap, but they are cut off by The Young Bucks on the screen who say that a part of their contract says they cannot disparage management, so their segment has been cut.
The Acclaimed have some mean faces, but head backstage anyway.
Backstage, Swerve Strickland is with Renee. Tonight, he faces Roderick. He welcomes back MJF, calls him a little bitch, and says he’ll deal with him soon. In his hand, he has the contract for the main event of Forbidden Door.
Tonight, his match against Strong. Strong is dealing with THE MOUNTAIN of Pro Wrestling. He wont just knock Strong off, he’ll bury him under it. Since he wants to make demands, Swerve wonders about the EVP. Seeing Team AEW lose hurt him. Make sure that the next time an AEW Team is assembled, don’t forget Swerve.
The Blackpool Combat Club vs Volador Jr., Magnus, Esfinge, and Rugido
BCC starts by taking the CMLL guys outside of the ring and attacking. Bryan is able to get Rugido into the ring. They have a chop fest until Bryan hits some elbows. Soon after, each man gets to get their shit in, ending with Esfinge dropkicking Claudio and Moxley out of the ring. Volador with a rana to Claudio!
In the ring, Bryan gets dropped on the 2nd rope. Magnus with a 619. Cover for 1.2…NO!!! Whip to Bryan, ducks under, tag to Yuta. Tag to Magnus. Yuta runs the ropes, gets hit with a rana, chop to Magnus. Running clotheslin e from Yuta. Moxley in to hit his own. Running boot from Bryan, uppercut from Claudio. Bryan and Jon double team Magnus then Claudio tosses Yuta onto him.
We are BACK from break and Esfinge is handling Claudio with ease. He ties up Claudio’s legs then bridges into a pin. 1..2.NO! Fireman’s then a slam to Claudio. Esfinge to the top rope, flies with a splash, but Claudio rolls out of the way. Jon runs in with a cutter! In comes Rugido to send Jon flying, Yuta is in to send Rugido out, Magnus corners him and hits running knees. Claudio intercepts a times two and gets the Giant Swing! Jon is in wait. DROPKICK from Jon! VOlador flies, ranan to Jon, Code Red to ClaudiO! Pin for 1..2.NO!!! Bryan with kicks to the chest. Tag to Rugido. Dropkick to Bryan, Yuta is in and eats a powerslam. Cover for 1..2.NO!!! Rugido locks up from behind, elbows from Yuta, in comes Jon to hit a huge lariat. Springboard from Esfinge to Claudio, uppercut! Paradigm Shift From Jon!! Jr in to kick Jon out, and sends Claudio flying next. He hits the roeps, but Bryan is in! KNEEEEEE!Yuta grabs Rugido, rollup to Yuta. 1..2.>N!O!!
Yuta with an Angle Slam! Seatbelt! 1…2….3!!!
Winners: The Blackpool Combat Club
Good for Yuta.
Total Rating: ***
Match Time: Stopwatch Issues
Jericho is backstage to annoy some guy at catering. He wants to show him how to scoop it properly.
This is getting old fast.
Daniel Garcia gets a video package.
The Acclaimed attempt to talk to The Bucks, but security is there. The Bucks stop them and say they have no time for meetings. Bowens says they just have a message. They’re comin for that ass.
Christian Cage has a meeting with Bucks, saying he wants another title shot.
The Bucks say they love him to death, and Matt had it their way, they’d hand all of The Patriarchy gold. They do still have some stroke, though, so they’ll see what they can do. So lets keep the back scratching going.
Toni Storm is here! She is here for commentary as her protégé is in action.
Mariah May vs Saraya
Saraya tosses her jacket onto May to distract and beats her down. May is able to get out of it and send Saraya to the outside. Saraya gets chased back into the ring, then rolls right back out. She pulls this again and the crowd is not happy. May leaves to chase her yet again, Cameron tries to cheap shot her, May ducks, and Saraya hits a big kick. Saraya sends may into the barricade.
We are back and May has Saraya’s head in her hands. May with a running elbow to the corner. She sits Saraya up top then double chops. May with a flip and a leg scissors to Saraya, sending her flying. May tries for a hip attack! Hits it! Cover! 1…2…..NO!!! May chops the chest. Grabs the head, double underhook, reversal, another, kick from May, locks the head, Saraya locks the head. HARD delayed DDT! Cover! 1.2…NO!!! May with a surprise rollup for 1.2..NO!!!
Big kick from Saraya! Saraya with the submission finish! May looks over to Toni, sad, and May gives up.
Winner: Saraya
I’m just not enjoying Saraya in the ring.
Total Rating: *
Match Time: 9:12
Toni runs in to check on May, but Saraya kicks her and in comes Cameron to attack.
Here comes Mina Shirakawa to make the save. Her and Toni bump chests in a battle of the tits. May comes to hold them both in either arm and try to get some peace restored.
Bryan Danielson gets some promo time talking about how his last year as a full time wrestler has not been that great. But with the return of Wheeler, and the news that the winner of the Owen Hart cup gets a title shot at Wembley, he got fired up.
AEW World Heavyweight Championship Match
Roderick Strong vs Swerve Strickland
Lockup to start. Waist lock from Swerve, Roderick escapes, grabs the leg, Swerve with a side headlock. He slides to keep the hold. Swerve hits the ropes, Strong trips him up and gets a front face lock. Rope work, Swerve handstands, rana to Strong, hip toss, tries for a suplex, knee from Strong, Swerve floats behind, dodges a knee ,fake kick, kick ot the knee, tries for House Call, but Strong rolls out the ring. Strong corners Swerve with some rights, Swerve with a reversal. He hooks Strong’s legs onto the rope then dropkicks it hard. Taven distracts and Strong is able to hit a back breaker on the corner! Swerve falls to the mat outside. He rolls in, then out, Strong tries to kick through the ropes, but Swerve catches him. Catapult To Strong into the ringpost!
We come back to Swerve stomping the life out of Strong. Swerves hoots him into the corner, chop, flings him to the rope, then dives off the 2nd rope with an uppercut to the back of the neck. Swerve with a fireman’s. He drops Strong onto the top rope, misses a boot, flies up with a Flatliner. Float over, grbs the head, brainbustaaaaaaa!!! Cover! 1..2…NO!!! Swerve tries for Big Pressure, Strong grabs the tights, goes for a pin. Gets 1..2.NO!!! Powerslam from Swerve! 1..2..NO!!! Strong rolls out of the ring again. Werve to the apron, Strong pulls him and Swerve lands into the arms of The Kingdom. Strong sends Swerve into the steps then flips him headfirst onto the apron! Damn. Strong sends Swerve into the ring. Cover for 1..2.NO!!! Strong hits the ropes, hard right to Swerve, another, another elbow strike, Angle Slam! Double underhook into a powerbomb and a stacked pin for 1..2.NO!!! Running kick to the head! Cover! 1..2….NO!!! Swerve rolls to the apron. Strong lifts him up by the dreads. Elbow from Swerve, chop to the back by Strong, chop to the thigh. Swerve trips Strong up, kicks him in the face, then flies over the top rope with a stomp to Strong’s chest!
He sends Strong back in, follows, up in the corner, House Call attempt but Strong side steps, high knee, Swerve catches him, drops him, HOUSE CALL!! Cover! 1..2..3!!!!
Winner: Swerve Strickland
Good shit, Swerve! Good shit.
Total Rating: ***3/4
Match Time: 14:09
End Show
