wrestling / TV Reports
Acero’s AEW Dynamite Review 7.29.20
Image Credit: AEW
Loading...Keep Refreshing For The Latest AEW Dynamite Results
HEY GUYS! I’m home! As I expressed on RAW, it’s good to be back. WE were allowed to open our sole patio area at the bar, and I will tell you right now that at least once a day, we have some dipshit overreacting because we tell them to wear a mask. So, after a crazy weekend, a subpar RAW where I was called racist, and a hell of a morning shift, to say that Im looking forward to some AEW tonight would be an understatement.
The Inner Circle starts the show, heading to the ring.
Shortly after, Best Friends and Friends head down It’s Orange, Best Friends, and Jurassic Express.
Tazz is on commentary alongside Tony and JR.
Match 1:
Jericoh and Orange to start. Orange with the vicious kicks. Hager no sells them. Hager lifts and sends Orange into the corner, then lifts again. Orange with the hands in his pocket. He then pulls them out and boxes the ears! Vicious! Tag to Santana then the entire Inner Circle come in to attack Orange. The Best Friends and Friends come in to even the odds. Aubrey can’t control it. Jericho has Trent against the ropes, until he is sent outside. Santana chops him. Chuck sends Santana to the outside. Ortiz over the top and lands on his feet. Chuck flies over the top rope and lands on everyone. Trent with a moonsautl onto everyone, including Orange. Lucha in the middle of the ring. He hits the ropes, goes to fly, bt Santana stops him! Jungle Boy hops onto the shoulders of Santana then sends him flying! Marko Stunt in the ring, hops into the arms of Lucha. Lucha tosses him into Hager, Hager ctches him and throws him back to Lucha. Stunt gets to the back of Lucha, holding onto his neck.Lucha dives onto everyone!!!
OANGE IS IN THE RING! HE HITS THE ROPES WITH THE SEVERITY OF A FALLEN EYELASH! HE STOPS MID-RING AND PUTS ON HIS GLASSES!!!!! OMG!!!!
All of the Best Friends and Friends come in to hug Orange! Sammy on the top rope! He flies. Everyone steps aside, and Sammy lands on his feet. The Best Friends and Friends jump him! Splash from Lucha in the corner. Clothesline from Jungle in th corner. Trent and Chuck get their shit in, but Hager is there to stop Trent from capitalizing. Jericho is in to attack Trent, and I don’t know who the fuck is legal!!! Back suplex to Trent from Jericho! Tag to Hager. Right hands in the corner. Tag to Santana. Tag to Jericho who comes in and eats a kick from Trent. Trent with a dropkick. Tag to Orti who drops Trent. Tag to Santana who flips onto him and covers for 1…NO!!! Tag to Hager, and he’s in to hit a right hand. Hager holds Trent off the tag from Sammy and In comes Sammy to hit the mid section .Sammy gabs the head and lifts into a fireman’s. He squats Trent a couple of times then drops him back and pins. 1…2..NO!!! Trent rolls it into a pin for him for 1..2..NO!! Clothelsine from Sammy. Tag to Hager. Hager with a side headlock. Hager sends Trent into the heel corner and attacks the kidneys. Tag to Ortiz who kicks in the corner. Tag to Hager. Jericho punches Trent with a cheap shot. Snapmare. Knee to the back. Hager pulls the arm back and locks in a cravat. Tag to Lucha who sends everyone except Sammy flying. GOOZLE TO SAMMY!! In comes Hager! They go back and forth with right hands! Lucha’s mask nearly falls off. He hits the ropes. ClOTHESLINE TO HAGER!!!
In comes Ornage! SUPERMAN PUNCH!!!!! Santana an Ortiz in to powerbomb Orange then a knee strike from Ortiz. Half and Half from Best Friends. They kick Ortiz out of the ring. In comes Jericho with the Codebreaker. In comes Jungle Boy with the Backstabber. Sammy with a running knee. Torture Rack into a huge fucking knee! OUCH! Lucha with a Tail Whip!!!! Or Spinning Lizard, apparently. Lucha calls for the chokeslam. Aubrey is checking on Jungle Boy. Jericho has the bat! Cassidy in. He tosse s Jericho over the barricade.e SAammy clips the leg, running knee. Sammy to the top rope. Lucha stands.
The music of Matt Hardy hits. Matt’s on the apron! He shoves Sammy off the top rope. Chokeslam! Roundhouse! Pin for 1..2…3!!!
Winners: The Best Friends and Friends
A bit of a slopfest in the beginning, but it’s almost as if that was by design. I’m not excusing it, because it wasn’t all that fun, but once they found their footing, it got a bit better. Orange continues his hatred of Jericho, Sammy and Matt have their thing going, and Jungle Boy ate a hell of a move from Sammy. Average, at best, but a fun second half.
Total Rating: **
Match Time 12:05
SPECIAL SHOUT OUT TO ONE OF THE FAM, EX-COLLECTOR, WHO IS FIGHTING THE GOOD FIGHT! YOU HAVE OUR LOVE AND SUPPORT FROM THE 411 FAM.
Commentary shows that they have a mask and proof that they took a blood test. They inform us of a tornado tag team match with Darby and Moxley vs Cage and Starks.
BACKSTAGE, MOXLEY IS UPSET that Cage beat on someone half his size. What would he do if he did nothing about it? He’d be a punk bitch. Speaking of punk bitches, poor Ricky Starks. Let’s see how he likes it when the odds are even. He doesn’t start fights, but he always finishes them.
Tazz says Moxley is terrified. NO DQ Tornado Tag? Moxley’s team is done.
Shida faces Diamante tonight.
Match 2: TNT Championship Match
Cody Rhodes vs Warhorse
Lockup to start. Cody with the go behind. Reverse and Cody reaches the ropes to break the hold.Cody works the left arm, digging the shoulder into the shoulder. He spins it, but Warhorse rolls out and kicks the arm away. Nice. Cody goes for a chop, decides to stop, and holds back to take the high road. He turns his back and Warhorse attacks then chops Cody in the corner. Whip to the corner, Cody rolls over onto the back and rolls through, but Warhorse rolls through as well and stacks Cody for a cover. 1..2..NO!!! Arm drag into an arm lock. Cody lifts and body slams him, but Warhorse holds on and arm drags Cody, then works the arm from the side. Warhorse continues to work the arm. Cody reverses. Whip to the t, ducks under, Cody hops over, misses a back fist, hits the ropes, holds on, and Warhorse misses a right, too. Cody shows some frustration. Don’t let your anger get in the way of your talent. Cody back in the ring, gets a side headlock, they run the ropes, Warhorse with a clothesline!! Cover for 1..2..NO!!!! High knee from Warhorse. Headbutt to Cody. Warhorse with another headbutt. He lifts Cody, goes for a Siato, Cody lands on his feet and drop toe holds him into the buckle. Cody with a hard right hand. He lifts Warhorse on his shoulders then gets him to the top rope. Hard right hand. Cody to the top rope. SUPERPLEX to Warhorse! Cover from Cody for 1..2..NO!!! Cody stomps the leg. He drags the left leg to the rope and drops a boot onto it. Cody with another cover for 1..2…NO!!!! Cody stomps the leg again, He lifts it and turns Warhorse into a single-leg Boston Crab. Cody grabs the leg after a release, then locks in a Figure Four, but Warhorse is quick to reverse it! Cody scurries to the ropes. Warhorse with a dropkick into the corner. Clothesline to Cody! Another running clothesline! He slaps his leg a bit then whips Cody to the ropes. Reversed, Warhorse slides under, chops, hits an elbow, clothesline. Warhorse grbs the arms and stomps Cody’s face a few times. Warhorse to the corner. He’s on the top rope. ELBOW DROP! Pin for 1…..2…..NO!!! Cody tries for a cover of his own. 1..2…NO!!! Cody wants another Figure Four, but again, Warhorse has it scouted and gets an inside cradle for 1..2..nO!!! Sunset Flip from Cody, but Warhorse counters for a pin! 1..2..NO!!!! Kick ut of the corner from Warhorse. He’s heading back to the top rope. He dives, lands on his feet, hurts his knee.
Cody with a dropkick to the knee!1 He tries for the Figure Four again, but Warhorse grabs the foot to stop it! Cody FINALLY gets it! Warhorse taps.
Winner: Cody Rhodes
I’d say this was a slightly average affair, but I do like the story being told. Warhorse had plenty of things scouted. Cody was hellbent on locking on that one move, and finally did. It may eventually be Cody going to the same well too many times, as we saw the leg work last week, too. I’m also incredibly glad that Warhorse didn’t suffer simply because they wanted to debut Cardona.
Total Rating: **1/2
Match Time: 10:54
Cody looks to shake the hand of Warhorse, but The Dark Order runs down to attack! They send Warhorse out of the ring then attack Cody! They turn to Arn Anderson, looking to attack but ZACK RYDER IS HERE!!!! He hits a Ruff Ryder on one then sends the other to the outside!
He heads out of the ring to shake hands with Cody.
We are back after the break, and Schiavone wants to talk about September 5, 2020 when “ALL OUT” goes down.
The Inner Circle runs out. Jericho says they are furious. He asks for his music to stops. They’re mad about what’s going on with The Inner Circle. They are going to start drawing some lines in the sand. Sammy calls Matt a stupid son-of-a-bitch and this isn’t over. Jericho wonders what “Son of a bitch” in Spanish is. Sammy says, “Son-of-El-Bitch.” Jericho tells us that he will face Orange Cassidy in two week,s and when he beats Cassidy, he will pay Jericho $7,000 in the midle of the ring. Jericho says that, also, on August 5, next week, he is challenging Orange Cassidy with a debate with a special guest monitor that will blow our mind. He will prove that Orange is a filthy piece of trash.
WE head to Earlier Today, where FTR is looking to sign their contract. They want to be champions, and to do that, they need a consultant, and in comes Arn Anderson.
Tony and a legal rep is there. Arn wants to see the contract. They got a signing bonus, so that’s cool. Arn mentions they want a tag team rope. He then asks them about a secretive issue. FTR says yes, very important. Apparently, there is a guaranteed Tag Team Appreciation Night, hosted by FTR. That’s in there, guaranteed, and they all sign.
In comes Hangman Page who wants to celebrate with some whiskey. He pours four shots, and Arn says he’s not a drinker anymore. Hangman fills his cup to the top. HAHAHA. Amazing.
LAST WEEK, The Dark Order attack Hangman Page until FTR come to save him. Omega comes a little later than he should.
We are back to present time, and The Dark Order makes their entrance. The following match is for the tag team titles.
Match 3: Stu Grayson and Evil Uno vs Hangman Page and Kenny Omega
Evil Uno and Omega to start. Evil Uno sends Omega in the corner. Grayson with the tag, he drops Omega and pins for 1..2..NO!!!! Right elbo from Omega. Chop to the chest. Again. Kick from Stu. Blind tag from Uno. Kick from Grayson. Kick from Omega to Uno. Kick from Grayson, whip, tilt a whirl from Omega. Looks like there was no tag. YOUNG BUCKS are in the crowd watching. Tag to Page, and we get some double teaming resulting with a standing shooting star press and a pin for 1..2..NO!!!! Tag to Omega. He drops Grayson, ducks under a right from Uno, then he and Page chop Uno back and forth a few times. Double chop to Uno in the middle of the ring. Grayson grabs the head of Omega and sends him into the corner. He tries to cheap shot Page. Tag from Uno. Tag to Page. He runs in with a kick. Vounces off the corner and sends Grayson down on the outsid.e Kick from Uno. Page whips into a Fallaway Slam. Kip up and he duks a right from Grayson then send him flying again. Uno attacks, Page ducks and sends Uno to the outside. Page flies with a cross body, but Uno moves and he hits just Grayson. Uno sends Page into the ringpost. Omega is here and Uno sends him into the barricade as well!
Cover for 1…2…..NO!!! Uno rips the fingers apart then tags in Grayson. He whips Grayson into Page hard. Grayson with a snap. Running knee from Grayson. Cover for 1..NO! Another cover for 1..NO! Grayson gets shoved, Page holds the arm, but Grayson releases and hits the ropes then a crossbody. Uno tags in, lifts his boot, and Stu sends Page into it face first. Uno with a right hand in the corner. Uno goes fo ra suplex, but we get a tag and Grayson helps with the suplex. Cover for 1..2..NO!!! Omega in to stop the pin. Uno with a boot to the face. Grayson chokes him up a Uno distracts Knox. Rights in the middle of the ring. Uno grabs the foot and drags Page to the corner. Tag to Stu who comes in and hits a knee t othe face. Stu kicks Page onto the apron and tags in Uno. He flies over th e top rope and lands on Page on the apron. Uno bows in the center of the ring. He goes to grab Page and pulls him to the center, then drops an elbow to the head. Tag to Stu. Omega with the tag!!! He comes in with an axe, another, spins for a third, but Stu hits a kick. Firemans from Omega! He marches around the ring. Rolling senton! He’s on the 2nd rope. Moonsault! Pin for 1..2…NO!!! Omega Omega kicks a clothesline away, rising knee. Uno in, Forearm, then Omega lifts him into a German from Page! Omega gets a tag. Page rushes the corner and hits an uppercut. Omega with one, too! Head scissors from Grayson. Omega runs with the trigger, but Stu side steps and shoves Omega into the corner. Omega whips Grayson to the outside!! Uno is in, drops Omega, goes to the top rope, dives with a senton and a cover for 1..2..NO!!!! Tag t Grayson. Uno lifts Omega to the top of Grayson’s shoulders, who launches him off and Uno hits a powerbomb! Pin for 1..2…N!O!!! Page in to break the pin. Stu lifts Omega, Grayson with a right, Omega elobws out. Right to Stu, elbow to Uno, running knee from Stu, Omega back onto the feet of Uno, who kicks him forward, and Grayson suplexes Omega into Page!
Grayson to the top rope! Uno with a cannonball to Page in the corner WHILE Grayson flies off the top rope with a splash and a pin for 1…2…NO!!! Grayson to the top rope. Uno holds Omega on his back, Omega escapes and sends Uno into the corner, crotching Grayson. Neckbreaker to Omeg! Page in. Right hand to Page, and he’s right hback out. Omega with a snap single underhook suplex, but Grayson flies off with a clothesline to Omega!! Page hits the ropes a few times and sends Grayson to the outside then powerbombs Uno! Kenny with a running knee to the back of the head.
Winners: Kenny Omega and Hangman Adam Page
Grayson is so fucking crisp. I hope that guy gets some more love in the future; I predict I’d love the shit out of more of his work. Uno, on the other hand, relatively bland tonight, causing the first half of this match to just sort of exist. I like The Dark Order, but they may nee da little more intensity if they are to be taken as a legit threat.
Total Rating: **1/2
Match Time 14:13
Lee has AnnaJay and Colt to head to the backstage area. He is fuming. He looks down on Uno and Stu. He berates Uno, screaming in his face. Uno and Grayson stand. Brodie sends papers into the face of Uno. He grabs the chin of Stu and shoves him aside, then turns his attention to Page, who is laughing. Lee says he sees Page has his friends around him today.
The Young Bucks leave the stands to come into the ring. Lee tells Kenny Omega nice of him to show up. Brodie says that The Dark Order is everywhere, and Hangman has pissed him off for the last time. Now, Hangman pays.
We see some Dark Order members coming from the cowd, surrounding the ring. Lee removes his jacket. Out comes FTR to attack Brodie Lee from behind with a Styrofoam ice chest. FTR, Bucks, and Omega and Page all clear the ring of the onslaught. Lee holds his lip, laughing. He holds his people back and stands between them and the ring. Lee acquiesces.
Britt Baker wants to address something. She is aware that Big Swole’s suspension won’t last forever. She isn’t dumb; she’s a dentist. Swole is obsessed with her. After some careful thinking, and the fact that Britt is a role model, she wants to give Swole a shot at her, but only if Swole beats an opponent of Britt’s choice. This is still her division.
Video package for Diamante.
Match 4: Hikaru Shida vs Diamante
Diamante shoves the face of Shida. Shida backs her int othe ropes and shoves her back. Diamante hits chop against the ropes .Shida reverses and hits a bunch of rights on the ropes, then hit s a knee to the gut. Whip and Shida’s ight is blocked. She is sent down by her hair, but Shida kips up, so Diamante knocks he back donw. Shida mounts and hits a few right hands. Diamante sends her to the outside. Shida runs and hits a knee lift while Diamante hangs on the barricade. Shida grabs Diamante and sends her into the ring. Shida to the top rope. She dives off with a missile dropkick. Shida covers for 1..2..NO! Shida with a hard right hand to the face. Again. Shida hits a third, holding onto the arm the entire time. Diamante up with a right of her own, again, they both go back and forth, Diamante kicks Shida, whips, Shida ducks under, locks the head, and goes for a suplex, Diamante lands on her feet, turns Shida, Shida gets shoved then hits a forearm and a knee, dropping Diamante down hard. Shida on the top rope. Diamante pulls her off, and Shida drops her arm on the top rope. Shida in the corner. Diamante with chops to Shida in the corner. Ref holds her back and Shida ries to attack but Diamante keeps on with the chops! Shida drops to the bottom rope and Diamante grabs her only to be shoved away. She rus, hits a stunner to Shida. Cover for 1..2..N!O!!! Diamante calls for the end, looks fo ra Destroyer, shida pushes her off, and Diamante kicks the abs. She lifts Shida, goes for the destroyer again, turns it into a roll up but Shida is too close to the ropes. Diamante hits a knee. Shida hits some rights. She locks the head,
Shida with a suplex after some delay into a pin for 1..2…NO!!!! Shida with a running knee! Pin for 1..2….3!!!
Winner: Hikaru Shida
Shida just makes shit look like it hurts, and Diamante tried to return the favor by chopping Shida’s chest to all hell. The win was never in question, which took SOME drama out of the match, but this was perfectly fine for what it was.
Total Rating: **1/2
Match Time: Stopwatch Problems (ie: I forgot to start it)
Shida celebrates as we are informed of the Tag Team Cup tournament. They will be random teams, not chosen, so that’s interesting.
EARLIER TODAY, we sopoke with Nyla Rose and Vickie Guererro. Vickie goes full Vickie She say the trophy is theirs. It doesn’t matter who the partner is. Nyla chooses purple, and that person is….
Oh fuck, it’s the former Cameron from the WWE. You know, the second worst wrestler ever (Eva Marie, I’m talking about you).
BACKSTAGE, MJF signs autographs, slaps a kid playfully, and chews gum.
We come back and looks like MJF is going full Trump. He’s got some signage around the ring. He’s here to forcefeed us knowledge. He asks a nearby press secretary to give him a little smile. MJF is behind a podium as the American flag stands nearby. He asks us to use #NOTMYCHAMPION and #MJF2020. Right now, he is sure people are here two weeks in a row, and not with the benchwarmers. Why does this always happen though. He is never spotlighted because a certain individual is in charge. Change. It’s a powerful world. He saw men calling for change. One man, in particular, called for a paradigm shift. He said out with the old and in with the new. He says a dude who does what he wants, makes th matches he wants, and makes his own matches, that’s old news, BROTHER. Jon Moxley is NOT his champion.
MJF says he cannot tell a lie. He will not stand and say that Moxley isn’t one of the greatest. But it’s high time that we have an honest discussion about what has happened since Moxley has started. Where is wrestling? All he’s seen is gymnastic. Flip flop and fly in an attempt to make viewers think they’re good at their job. But we have been brainwashed into thinking that this is what wrestling is, and that brainwashing starts at the top. Our champion should lead by example. He isn’t supposed to cosplay as a specific wrestler, and that’s a Stone Cold fact.
MJF is undefeated, he is the first and last MJF. He’s not a media analyst, yet everyone wants to talk about ratings. That’s why we treat Dictator Jon so well, because of his name value right? Because where would the numbers lie without him?? Right? Wrong. You know who draws more minute for minute? MJF. Oh, we don’t know that because Moxley doesn’t want us to. Why should he have to deal with the likes of MJF. He says how dare you. This is supposed to be the land of opportunity, and it’s time for a new guard. The old guard has gotten us famine, disease, poverty. Our infrastructure is falling fast. He can catch this company and take this company to the top. His talent outweighs Jon’s tenure. He will be leading this company for the next 25 years. He bleeds black and gold. Do the match. He is making a promise now. He will not stop until we stop being the alternative, and start being the pinnacle of professional wrestling.
HOLY SHIT, That was GOLD! I was worried when I saw the MJF2020 signs, and worried that they’d go for a Trump wannabe, bringing an unnecessary political slant to an otherwise great wreslting show. But noooo, MJF fucking MURDERED this promo, where nearly everything he said had TRUTH to it, to the point where it was almost annoying that you agreed with him. Shit man, that was….that was good.
Darby’s music hits, but he doesn’t come out. Moxley’s music hits, and he comes out from the stands.
Tazz, Cage, and Ricky are backstage. What happened to Darby? Tazz says Moxley is going to get bounced around that ring. Tazz asks Cage to step in front of him so they don’t piss some people off. Tazz wants us to look at his muscles. He’s got biceps like sledgehammers, triceps like pistons. Then you have Ricky, the always smooth, Starks.
Starks gets some mic time. We are looking at absolute, no one better. He is young, handsome, successful, everything my baby momma wishes I was. This is why he was recruited. Everyone loves Darby because he’s an enigma. Starks says he wrestles like a crash dummy. You can try and go against the machine and Starks, but when you try hard, you die hard, and he is digging two graves tonight.
IT’S A TRAP! Darby comes out while Cage and Starks make an entrance. It’s short lived, though, because Cage grabs Moxley and wrestles him around the ring while Darby deals with Starks. Headbutt from cage to Jon. Darby drops some right hands to Ricky. Darby enters the ring and flies over the top rope onto Cage on the outside.
Main Event: NO Disqualification Tornado Tag Team Match
Darby Allin and Jon Moxley vs Brain Cage and Ricky Starks
We FINALLY get all the men into the ring and the bell hits. Cage and Ricky are double teaming Moxley in the center of the ring with chops and right hands to the face. In comes Darby who dropkick Starks into the corner. They’re both on the apron and Ricky backs Darby int othe ring post. Ricky plays the guitar on the apron but Moxley is there to lock in a Sleeper. Cage from behind atcks the back. He lifts Jon sideways and Darby flies off ,land ing on his shoulders. Cage catches him and drops him with a powerbomb while, at the same time, dropping Moxley with a press as well!
Cage and Starks grabs Darby in the corner. Cage with a german to Darby and Ricky goes into a pin for 1..2..N!O!! Cage lifts Darby and Starks hits the ropes. CHAIR TO THE FACE FROM MOXLEY!!! Cage with an uppercut. Moxley with a knee, but Cage responds with a kick Darby drops him with a jawbreaker. Starks in to kick him out of nowhere. Moxley kicks. Cutter! Cage with a clothesline. Cage goes for a suplex, Moxley drops over and Cage hits an elbo, but Moxley with a geman! He lifts Cage up and hits a piledriver!!!! Pin for 1..2…NO!!!! Cross arm breaker! Starks in to kick the face. He covers for 1..2..NO!!! Starks mounts, hits some right hands. Starks has a trash can. He and Cage go to suplex him onto it, but they take too long. Kick to Dean, they Alabama Slam Moxley into the an. Cover or 1..2….NO!!!! Darby comes out of nowhere! Starks beats him down with right hands. Whip to the corner. Starks misses a shoulder, hitting the post. Kick to cage. He hops up, Cage catches him, goes for a Buckle Bomb, but Moley catches him. Kick from Darby. Kick from Dean. He underhooks DDT at the same time Darby hits a coffin drop! Suicide dive from Moxley to the outside! Pin for 1..2..NO!!!! Dark drops a trashcan on the bicep of Cage.
Darby has a skateboard, and the bottom is covered in thumbtacks!!!
Moxley has Cage in an arm bar on the apron. Darby flies off the top rope and lands on the back of Starks!! He covers! 1..2….3!!! Starks is bleeding with tacks in the back.
Winners: Jon Moxley and Darby Allin
A fun sprint that could have done with a little more plunder, as trash cans never look menacing, and a chair shot has become synonymous with a chop. Still, that skateboard spot was cool, and props to Ricky for taking that hit. Solid.
Total Rating: ***
Match Time: 8:28
End Show
