wrestling / TV Reports
Acero’s WWE Raw Review 3.27.23
Image Credit: WWE
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Tonight’s episode is labeled as “Wrestlemania RAW” for no real good reason, and The Miz is here to start us off.
Miz is hyped, and so is the crowd. He feels the energy. He says we will bare witness to him, and we should all be grateful. Tonight, he will get to the bottom of the most intense story going today, and invites the Women’s tag team champions and Trish Stratus out to the ring.
Trish Stratus is out first, looking amazing. She waits for Lita and Becky Lynch to make their respective entrances then walk down together.
The Miz wants to start with Becky, calling her “The Man,” saying she works alone. What does it feel like to know she couldn’t do it all herself so she had to call in for help.
Becky says she is The Man, just like The Miz is “A man,” and she thinks he sounds like a very insecure man with notoriously tiny balls. Miz calls his balls massive, as verified by his wife. Becky quips that it must be nice knowing Maryse didn’t get around much before The Miz.
Back to Damage CTRL, and how she thought she ended them at War Games. They are vermin. She doesn’t get along with too many people, but there are two people in the ring that she respects more than anyone else in this business – and The Miz is not one of them. So when people fight for her, she fights for them.
The Miz moves along, asks Trish and Lita why now?
Lita says she doesn’t feel like backup, and holds her title up. She knows she has felt the best —-
Damage CTRL is here to keep this wheel moving. Dakota looks disheveled.
Bailey has something to say. She is sick and tired of the three of them acting like this match is just another match. To them three, this is their life. Every step since Summerslam lead them here. Trish and Lita haven’t meant shit for 20 years.
Trish says the title on Lita’s shoulder means she mans something right now.
Bayley says at one point in her life, this would have been a dream match. But now, it’s a different kind of dream. Now they want to take out the top woman and two hall of famers in the same night.
Becky wonders and then what. They haven’t been doing anything. Dakota Kai was a two-time tag team champions. And Iyo? One of the greatest NXT Champs of all time? They haven’t done anything. She thought this was going to end at WarGames, at Hellin a Cell, when she won the titles, but it didn’t. So it will all end at Wrestlemania.
Iyo vs Becky Lynch
Becky shoots out the gate with some kicks into the corner. She stomps away till the ref holds her back. She rushes the corner with a right, bounce and a kick. Becky captures the leg, hits a Becksploder. Another one! Iyo rolls to the outside but Becky grabs her back through the ropes. She tries for a leg drop but Bayley and Dakota pull Iyo out of the ring. Becky grabs the hair of Bayley, so Iyo kicks her. Stomps in the corner from Iyo this time. Boots to the chest. Swinging knees to Becky. Cover for 1..2..NO!!! Monkey flip from Becky and Iyo rolls through then hits a dropkick. Cover for 1..2.NO!! Kick to the face. Iyo with a aright hand. Another. Becky fires back, they trade blows. Becky takes over hits the ropes, Iyo follows, huge palm strike. Whip to Becky, who Superman dives into a punch. Both girls up, Bekcy hits a right, elbow to Iyo. LKick out of the corner. Big clothesline. Another. Sloppy dropkick. Iyo rolls out of the ring, so Becky hits her with a. baseball slide. Becky to the apron, falling of with a fist.
Back in the ring, Becky flies off the top, lands on her feet, tries for a Becksploder, Iyo reverses, Becky slinks out, inverted DDT to Iyo! Cover for 1..2.NO!!! Tries for a Manhandle Slam, but Iyo counters, hits double knees! Cover! 1..2..NO!!
We are back from a break and Iyo locks up for a German. She hits it, rolls to the side and hits a second one, this time with a bridge for a pin. 1..2..NO!!! Iyo grabs the face of Becky, double underhook, Becky escapes, right hand. Becksploder! Becky up. To the top rope. Kicks Iyo. Iyo climbs boucnes off the top rope with a dropkick, sending Becky to the outside! Iyo to the apron. She springboards and hits a beautiful moonsault right in front of Lita. Nice. Iyo rolls Becky in, cover for 1..2….NO!!!! Lita tries for another moonsault,
Becky rolls out of the way, rollup from Iyo for 1..2.NO!!! Becky reverses, 1..2…NO!! Manhandle Slam! Cover! 1…2…3!!!
Winner: Becky Lynch
Admittedly, there was quite a bit of sloppiness here, and most of that fell on Becky. At times, she was just jutting out her fist and hoping it landed. It got better after the break, and Iyo just hits some beautiful moves sometimes.
Total Rating: **
Match Time: 11:28
We are taken back to last week when Cody had Roman SHOOK!
The Usos and Solo Sikoa are walking with Paul Heyman backstage.
A sick ass Asuka video package is shown, reminding us of her at one time undefeated streak.
Last week, in quite possibly the most heelish thing he has done to date, Logan Paul was rude to Cathy, and is now my most hated enemy.
This week, Cathy asks Seth how he feels heading into the Mania, but up comes Mustafa Ali interrupts to annoy Seth and try to get him to think more postiveALI.
Seth laughs it off, calls him a genius, Ali deserves a prize. He has one, he can give Ali a fight. Seth vs Mustafa.
Seth Rollins vs Mustafa Ali
LOCKUP! Into the corner, Ali flips over Seth and tries to give him a pep talk. Shoulder from Ali, he flies into the ring over the back ,hits a right hand to Seth. Seth misses a right, Al;I flies over him out the corner, they work the ropes Seth with a clothesline! Seth stomps in the corner. Ali hops up to the top, Seth kicks him, crotching him. Another kick and Ali is in the tree of woe. Seth with a huge stomp to Ali in the corner!
Ali rolls out of the corner. Another stomp from Seth, and Ali sells it like a champ! Cover for 1….2…NO!!!
Winner: Seth Rollins
There was no reason for this to go any longer, even though I really wanted it to.
Total Rating: NR
Match Time: 2:36
Seth grabs a mic, says on Day 1, in 5 days, he gets his hands on Logan Paul. Paul has a history of making a joke out of himself. If Seth cant beat Paul at Mania, he’s not the joke, Seth is. He threw Seth out the Rumble, cost him at Elimination Chamber, cheap shotted him twice, and now Seth will embarrass Paul on his birthday. He’ll see Paul at Mania.
Baron Corbin has some complaints for Adam Pearce. He doesn’t even have a Mania match. IN comes Chelsea Green who wants to know why she is not in the Mania Fatal Four Way tag team match. Pearce tells her she doesn’t have a partner; Piper wants nothin to do with her. She doesn’t need the mansplaining, and here comes Sonya Deville to complain about Pearce’s incompetence. Pearce puts them two against Michin and Candice LeRae. They should team and call themselves The Complainers, or something. Either way, if they win tonight, they’re in the Fatal Four Way.
And now, it’s time for the weigh-in.
Yay….
Corey Graves and Adam Pearce introduce Omos.
MVP takes the mic, and reminds us all that this is the final chance for us to see Omos. Is it? That doesn’t make sense. Brock has stepped into th ring at multiple Manias, beating people like Kurt Angle, Goldberg, Roman Reigns, and of course ending the streak at Mania. But Brock, he must be reminded, this is the Nigerian Giant. You cant suplex him, cant F5 him, and at mania he will not be defeated.
Brock Lesnar is here! He’s heard enough! He takes his time entering the ring, but when he does, he attacks Omos. He shoots him into the ropes, then to the outside. Brock grabs the scale and looks to swing it, but Omos hits a kick. Omos then grabs the scale as Brock leaves the ring and leans against the barricade. SUPLEX CITY chant and I guess that’s it…?
Rhea Ripley promo saying she gonna beat that Flair ass.
The Street Profits, Braun Strowman and Ricochet vs Alpha Academy and The Viking Raiders
BUT HOW WILL THEY CO-EXIST?!?!
Dawkins and Gable. Dawkins works the ropes, sends gable into the ropes, goes down, Gable locks up behind, tey break, tag from Ricochet, arm drag from Dawkins, one from Gable. IN comes Ric who tries for a rana but Gable grabs the akle and tries for a lock, Ric whips him out, dropkick to Gable! Tag to Braun! He launches Ric into the corner, splash to Gable, shoulder tackle from Ric, then Braun! Ford wants a tag, and flexes for it. He blind tags himself in and hits a bunch of arm drags, back and forth from Gable, cover from Gable, gets a 1, Ford covers fgets a 1, Galbe misses a right, a left, right from Ford. Gable with his own! He shooooooshes everyone and all eight men get in the ring. They go at it. Ring is cleared save for Ivar, Otis, and Braun. Ivar goes aftrer Strowman, but Otis just pounces and Braun is ent ot the outside!!! Ford is on the to prope. He dives! Otis catches him and slams Ford down hard!
WE are back to see some Vikings beating down on Ford. Erik in with a tag and he sends Ford into a knee. From Ivar, who sends Ford into a knee from Erik. Cover for 1.2…NO!!! Tag from Otis. Otis with a short clothesline. WE see Maxxine watching backstage. Otis removes his shirt and jiggles. Otis hits the ropes, drops an elbow onto Ford then tells Maxxine that he’s here, baby. Otis grabs Ford by the head, Ford with a kick but Otis with aback elbow! Tag to Dawkins, tag to Ivar. Clothesline, everyone off the apron, kick from Ivar, spinning back elbow from Dawkins. He hits the corner with another spin, kick from Dawkins, locks the head, in comes Gable, right hand from Dawkins. Kick from Ivar, tag to Erik. Splash in the corner, right from Erik, into another from Ibar, cover for 1..2..NO!!! Running shooting star by Ric. Enziguri to Ivar, Otis on the apron, dropkick from Ricoxchet. In comes Gable, hop over, right hand from Dawkins. Tag to Braun. He hops of the apron. He murders Otis, destroys Gable, kills Ivar, enters the ring and Erik attacks. Braun shoves, Erik with a knee, he hits the ropes, SPINEBUSTER FROM BRAUN!!! Tag to Ricochet! Powerslam from Braun!
Ric with a Swanton Bomb off of Braun’s shoulders! Ford is on the top rope! He dives OVER Braun! TURNS MID AIR! FROG SPLASH TO ERIK! Cover for 1..2…3!!!
Winners: The Street Profits, Braun Strowman, and Ricochet
Well damn, that was great. From the opening back and forth between Gable and Dawkins, and even the control Gable had before the break to the high flying shit Ricochet and Ford hit at the end, we had a solid ten + minutes of action here. Good shit.
Total Rating: ***1/2
Match Time: 11:43
Cody Rhodes is backstage being asked if he was put in a vulnerable position with Solo Sikoa. Cody says they are both undefeated. He wonders if Reigns and Heyman think he has a chance tonight or even at Mania. Why is it so important that Cody wrestle The Enforcer? It’s because they know the anser to this question that people are starting to float around – has Cody earned it. The fire didn’t start when he came back, it started long before that. Not only has he earned it, he has lived it. Tonight, Solo finds out he is not ready and at Mania, he defeats Reigns and becomes the Undisputed WWE Universal Champion.
A Bianca Belair video package is next. Ya girl look goodt!
Earlier today, Austin Theory cut an empty arena promo. He says Cena is wrong, he thinks he exposed Theory on this mic? No, he exposed himself. Cena cannot see the future in front of his eyes. It’s like he wanted to hit Theory with a reality check telling him no one believes in him, not even Cena.
Theory says he stands in this arena all alone, because there is no difference between this and now and a sold out Sofi. He doesn’t do this for some kid growing up wanting to be the next Theory, and he doesn’t do this to be the next John Cena. He does this for him. He had a purpose way before anyone had an opinion about him. It’s so sad to know that he would have let Cena go down the hero, but he had to make this personal. Everyone looks up to Cena, but it’l lbe so fitting that he’ll be looking up to Austin. That is not a Theory, because he will make Cena believe in him, make him believe in Austin Theory. The WWE Universe that he loves so much, he’ll make us stop believing in Cena.
Sonya Deville and Chelsea Green vs Candice LeRae and Michin
Sonya and Mia to strat. Whip to Sonya, hits the ropes, duck under, switch and dropkick from michin. Kick to Sonya and Green distracts. Michin tries a cannonball but Sonya moves. To the corner, tag to Chelsea, kicks from Sonya. Green puts a boot to the chin. Holds it til l the ref stop, tag to Sonya. Sonya unhes the stomach, again. Tag. Tag to Candice. Crossbody to both girls! Sonya rolls out. Right hands to Green. Candice hits the ropes, clothesline, back splashi n te corner, snapma,re step up senton. Tag to Michin. She drops LeLrae onto Green, cover for 1..2NO!!! In comes Sonya, who drops LeRae, and she rolls out. Dropkick from Michin to Sonya, she turns and Green misses a big kick.
Lockup from behind, Michin grabs the ropes, Green rolls away, distracts the ref, Sonya wit a right, Unprettier from Green. Cover for 1..2..3!!!
Winners: Chelsea Green and Sonya Deville
Well it wasn’t pretty…
Total Rating: NR
Match Time: 2:50
Paul Heyman is backstage to be straight up, Solo is not here to compete, he’s here to weaken Cody Rhodes. Reigns is ready to stoop to these depths and get any advatange to remain Tribal Chief, and that’s the difference between Reigns and Rhodes. He came to his Wise Man and said he was ready, ready to stop being the Big Dog and become The Tribal Chief. We’ve known this Rhodes his whole life, the same with puppy dog eyes looking across at Reigns, because Rhodes has never been ready. Never been ready to fill the shoes of his father, to be the man of this generation, is not ready to defeat Reigns this Sunday, and needs to be ready for the beating tonight then come Mania, he’s losing. Then, he implores Rhodes, be ready for the greatest moment of his entire existence. When, in the glory of your own defeat, when he’s disappointed the Universe, be ready to acknowledge Reigns.
Dom cuts a quick promo before the Priest vs Mysterio match. Nothing new is said.
Damien Priest vs Rey Mysterio
WE come back to the match already going down. Rey springboards into the clutches of Priest, who slams him down for a pin. Gets a 1..2..NO! Priest rushes with a big boot, Rey side steps. Looks for a 619 but Priest hits a huge clothesline. Cover for 1..2.NO!!! Rey gets the upperhand quickly, 619, Rey to the top rope.
Rey flies, but Dom pulls his boot out from under him and drops him in the corner. He then mounts and beats down on his father for the DQ.
Winner: Rey Mysterio via DQ
A nothing match.
Total Rating: NR
Match Time: Less than 3.
Priest and Dom start the attack, but Legado Del Fantasma come down to make the save. Interesting.
Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn are backstage talking about this weekend. Doesn’t get bigger or better, this will be the biggest tag team match of all time. The Usos are the longest reigning champs, and they will beat them in the city where they got their first big break. They will win the titles at Mania.
IMPERIUM IS HERE!!!!
Gunther vs Dolph Ziggler
Ziggler with a dropkick real quickly. DDT to Gunther. Chop, kick, Gunther catches and drops Ziggler with a chop. Gunther drapes Dolph on the corner and chops his chest in then steps on t he head of Ziggler, hanging him upside down in the corner. We’re back and Ziggler tries for a Zig Zag, but Gunther chops him to hell. German out of the corner. Gunther turns Ziggler, locks the head up for a powerbomb, hits it, then pulls Ziggler up for a choke.
Gunther lifts ihm to the shoulders and hits The Last Symphony then covers for 1..2..3!!
Winner: Gunther
Ok, well most of that match was during the commercial, but what we saw was just a brutal murder of Ziggler. Lovely.
Total Rating: *
Match Time: 5:44
Gunther on the mic. He tells both Sheamus and Drew that this fight, this disgrace of being forced to defend his title, this is the fate that awaits both of them at Wrestlemania.
Cody Rhodes vs Solo Sikoa
LOCKUP!!! Side headlock. To the ropes, they go check to check. Solo is pissed, asks for more. Cody hits the ropes, hops under, drops, uppercut, Solo with a right. Cody sends him yo the corner. Dropkick sends Solo down. Right hands to the face. Cody hits the ropes. HUGE Samoan Drop from Solo! He heads outside, following Cody. Into the apron. Solo grabs Cody’s head and whips, this is reversed, and Solo runs into th steel steps. Cody grabs the ankle and swings it into the post. Cody enters the ring. Solo stands. Belly to belly! Cody rolls back to the outside, hops on the apron. Solo hits the ropes and checks Cody off the apron onto the announce table. Solo tries to send Cody into the table but he blocks and does the same. He sends Solo into the table, a bunch of right hands. Cody enters the ring, hits the ropes, and dives but Solo catches him and hits a Uranage onto the table! Another one onto the table.
We are back and Cody hits a Disaster Kick! A CODY CUTTER!!! Cody locks up from behind, bends Solo back for a finisher, hits it! Cross Rhodes is hit! Cody takes his time with the pin. He rolls. Cover. 1..2…NO!!!! Foot on the ropes! Cody up top. MOONSAULT! But Solo moves!!! They go head to head on the mat, both stand, headbutt from Solo. Solo calls for the spike, Cody ducks! CODY CUTTER AGAIN!!!!
The Usos music hits! Here come the twins!
They stand ringside as Solo hits a superkick! Spinning Solo! Cover! 1…2…NO!!! SO CLOSE! The Usos hop on the apron!
Here come Owens and Zayn!!! They meet The Usos on the stage and beat them all the way to the back!
IN the ring, Cody hits the roper for a Disaster Kick, SOLO WITH THE GOOZLE! He calls for the spike! CROSSRHODES INSTEAD! Cover! 1…2..3!!!
Winner: Cody Rhodes
They played it safe but still kept it entertaining. A Solid main event. Looking forward to this weekend!
Total Rating: **1/2
Match Time: 12:36
End Show
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