wrestling / TV Reports
Acero’s WWE RAW Review 7.25.22
Image Credit: WWE
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Slow news week, ey?
I will reserve any large leaps of hope for the immediate future of the WWE, as I have noticed a whole lot of apathy towards the reality of the situation. Not to say that McMahon needs any sort of empathy, but from a purely creative standpoint, the “doofus son in law” and his wife are both carrying an emotional toll I think a lot of people are ignoring. We can rejoice at the reality that big bad booty Vinnie is out of the seat, but now we have two people stuck in that same seat where they may STILL very well be afraid to make any drastic changes solely out of respect. I’d assume the changes will be gradual, and not necessarily immediate.
I’d go on, but that’s not what you came here for, right?!
It’s Monday…you know what that means.
RAW starts IMMEDIATELY with The Miz and Logan Paul IN THE RING brawling, basically throwing my thesis in the water for now. Refs and agents come out to break them up. Paul gets a right hand in as he is held back. Miz is held back outside of the ring while others hold back Paul.
It looks like we missed Paul calling Miz out, only for Miz to come out and get mounted by Paul. This is, apparently, teasing the match come Summerslam. Paul hit a spinebuster.
After the ring is cleared, the music of Roman Reigns hits, and out comes the Tribal Chief with some sick ass Js on.
Reigns holds his hands in prayer then asks for the mic. He smirks as the crowd cheers for him. Reigns asks for acknowledgement, then says he doesn’t feel like talking anymore, and hands the mic to Heyman.
Heyman welcomes us to The Island. Heyman’s mic goes out.
Heyman: “We have a sound guy that must be from New Jersey or something. We want your name written down, you are the next one out the door.”
Oh Heyman. Never change.
Brock Lesnar is a party pooper, says Heyman. He ruined The Undertaker’s streak. He ruined John Cena’s HLR. Brock wants to ruin Reigns day, too. This is why Reigns takes it so personally. Reigns is tired of Brock’s legacy being tied into his own. Knicks v Celtics, Red Sox v Yankees, Hogan v Macho Man, Stone Cold v Rock. When you think of Reigns, you will no longer ever have to think of Brock Lesnar again. They are sick of Lesnar riding the coattails, this is why Reigns has nothing to say tonight, because Reigns cannot stand the sound of the name Brock Lesnar. After this Saturday, at Summerslam, Brock won’t be able to stand at all.
Austin Theory’s music hits, and the scowl on Reigns face is great.
What’s so funny to Theory is that The Bloodline talks a lot but they seem to have forgotten the most important detail about Summerslam. Come Summerslam, he’s going to win his US Title, then cash in on the winner of the main event. Theory gets WHAT chanted throughout all this.
Reigns asks Theory if he’s just gonna stop right there at the end of the ramp? If he’s going to come to the arena, at least step into the ring.
Theory enters, holds the briefcase. Reigns asks Heyman if they like him, right? Reigns can appreciate what Theory is trying to do, but he has no idea what he’s doing with that briefcase right now. In fact, he might need a wiseman. He needs somebody to council him! Reigns will be that guy with some words of wisdom:
Look around, analyze the situation in front of him. “Ya daddy’s not here anymore.”
Oh shit….
WHO’S YOUR DADDY chant
Reigns: “I run The Garden now.”
Reigns leaves the ring, as The Usos leave, Jey smacks him across the back of the neck. Hahahaha.
Theory ain’t no bitch, though, and he clocks Jey with the briefcase. Theory tells him to step up! Reigns holds The Usos back. Theory, with the briefcase, “Step up! I don’t need this!”
Wow.
We come back to the announcer giving Theory a proper introduction.
Theory says this is the intro that he truly deserves. He is sure we all enjoyed what Roman had to say—-
Drew McIntyre doesn’t wanna hear it. His music hits, Graves quips that he doesn’t even go here.
Ref is here, and we’re getting a match.
Match 1: Drew McIntyre vs Austin Theory
Drew with a clothesline as soon as the bell rings. He corners Theory, lifts the shirt, and hits a hard chop. Another chop. Drew deadlifts and hits a suplex. Theory attacks the corner, headbutts from Theory, kicks into the corner. He tries to whip, but Drew holds on. Chop from Theory, Drew no-sells it. Another chop. Drew grabs him by the head and corners him then gets a bunch of rights. Drew locks the head and tosses Theory up for a suplex. Jawbreaker from Theory. Right hands corner Drew. Some kicks and uppercuts. Right hands beat Drew down. Ref holds him back. Clothesline out of the corner from Drew. Sloppy belly to belly from Drew, followed by a Future Shock DDT.
Theory rolls to the outside. Drew follows, grabs Theory, lifts him high and drops him chest first across the table.
We are back, and Theory is being pinned by Theory. 1..2..NO!!! Drew grabs Theory off the mat, whips him to the ropes, looks to hit a right, but Theory holds on then sends Drew to the outside. Theory wants the countout victory. Drew stirs at 3. Ref gets to 5, and Drew stands .He hops on the apron at 7. Theory with some rights, sends Drew down to the floor. Theory leaves the ring, sends Drew into the steps shoulder first. Ref is at 4 now. Theory rolls into the ring, asking for the countout. Ref at 7, Drew struggles ot get up. Ref at 9. Drew rolls into the ring! Theory mounts! Right hands fom Theory! Theory locks up for a suplex. Drew blocks. Another block, this time he lifts hard and high and hits a suplex of his own! They trade right hands in the center of the ring. Drew gets the better of it with a hard right, knocking Theory on his ass. Rope work. SPINEBUSTER FROM DREW! Bridge and cover for 1..2….NO!!! Drew calls for the end. He waits in the corner.
SHEAMUS AND HIS GOONS ARE HERE!
They attack Drew, which gets the DQ.
Winner: Drew McIntyre via DQ
I feared a squash, but we got a solid amount of action from both guys. The DQ ending was kind of obvious, but they did give Theory some clout here, which is something he’s been missing for quite a while.
Total Rating: ***
Match Time: 9:21
Sheamus and his goons attack Drew, Theory helps with some kicks, but here comes Bobby Lashley!!! He makes short work of Ridge Holland, then goes straight for Theory in the ring. Drew sends Pete and Sheamus to the outside. Bobby and Drew stand tall in the ring.
Theory sneaks in with his briefcase, but the big guys turn around and he flees out of the ring.
We come back, and there’s a whole ass other match already happening, so lets get to it!
Match 2: Sheamus and Austin Theory vs Drew McIntyre and Bobby Lashley
Sheamus and Drew get some action to start, with Sheamus hitting a backbreaker on Drew. Sheamus teases a tag to Theory, but opts not to. Crowd cheers for Lashley. Glasgow Kiss from Drew! Tag to bobby! He hits a shoulder tackle, clothesline, back elbow, clothesline in the corner. Lashley hits the ropes, a shoulder into the corner, locks the head, suplex in th middle of the ring! Theory enters, Lashley with a Flatliner! He clotheslines Sheamus over the top to the outside! Lashley leaves the ring, and he wants to truck it like Braun! He rushes towards Theory but Sheamus with a surprise BROGUE!!! Theory tries to hop on the hype of Sheamus, but Sheamus swats him away.
Butch enters the ring, and the ref gets him out. Ref distracted, Ridge pulls Drew’s foot out from under him. Butch comes up, Drew locks him up and suplexes him into Ridge Holland! The ref kicks the two out as we go to break.
We are BACK and Sheamus has Lashley hurting in the middle of the ring. Sheamus knocks Drew off the apron then turns into a spinebuster. Drew wants the tag, gets it, Theory gets one, too. Clothesline, another, belly to belly! Another out of the corner! Drew with a neckbreaker! Kip up! Drew shakes the ropes1 He waits, Theory stands, double underhook, but Theory escapes, hits a right, Drew hits the ropes, Theory follows. Spinebuste from Drew! Cover for 1..2…NO!!! Drew falls ot the outside as Sheamus holds the ropes! Lashley in off a tag. He covers Theory. Sheamus to the top rope! Knee from the top to break the pin! Drew in! Sends Sheamus to the outside! They both grapple, and Sheamus hits White Noise on the ramp!
Theory is up in the middle of the ring! Lashley is out. Theory lifts Lashley, to the shoulders, DOLPH IS RINGSIDE!!! Theory is shocked! Lashley slinks off his back. HURT LOCK! THEORY TAPS!!!
Winners: Drew McIntyre and Bobby Lashley
Perhaps not all that overt, this entire hour set out to do one thing – build Austin Theory up, and I have to say they did quite alright. It’s something I’ve expressed they have been missing (and often do whenever someone wins the briefcase) with Theory. It is entirely possible to do what they did after this match, while still showing that Theory CAN go, and is NOT afraid of anyone, even IF he is in over his head.
Total Rating: ***
Match Time: 11:24 shown
Theory walks up the ramp, upset. He turns. BAM! SUPERKICK from The Usos! Reigns comes out, grabs the briefcase, and hands it over to Theory.
Earlier tonight, Rey and his son showed up in a Maybach. They’re not alone, as his wife and daughter are with him.
Rey and Dom are her, and they’re dressed for action.
Rey on the mic, says this is special. He wants to give a backstory. He was 14 when he had his first match in TJ, and he never imagined that one day, he’d perform in a WWE ring. Travel the world? Make money? Create legendary rivalries for all of us? The truth is, guys his size back then were not part of the business. He broke those stereotypes. As a smaller guy, and a damn proud Latino, he became World Champion at Mania 22. He made a lot of friends along the way, friends he wants to thank for helping pave the road for him:
Dean Malenko, Konnan, Batista, Kurt Angle, Edge, and the great Eddie Guerrero.
Rey says he loves Eddie, and misses him daily. He wouldn’t be here without Eddie, and knows that he is always watching over him. Thank you, Eddie.
He then thanks us for the past twenty years.
This is special, and to be able to live all of that with his family, it means much more.
He thanks Angie and Aaliyah, and wants to say thank you for always being there. He loves. Them both. He then turns to Dom, says he is proud of him. Proud of who he has become, and he knows when Rey is no longer here, Dom will represent the Mysterio legacy to the fullest.
Rey tells the WWE Universe and everyone watching, thank you for accepting and always rollin with him. Thanks for 20 of the dopest most awesome years.
Rey saved the best for last – he wants to thank MSG tonight. He loves all of them there.
Rey cuts a promo in Spanish, ending with a nice VIVA MI RAZA!!!
Dom points to the crowd, and there’s Finn to clap along with the crowd. Priest is in the opposite side. They both leave the crowd and are on either side of the ring. Rey backs up into the corner.
We come back to a tag match in action.
Match 3: Dominik and Rey Mysterio vs Finn Balor and Damian Priest
Dom powerbombs his dad onto the prone Finn then corners him with headbutts into the corner. Tag to Rey, Rey corners Finn and mounts for some punches. Finn escapes, tags in Priest, Priest whips Rey into the corner. Preist with a splash. Arm drag into a lock. Priest clubs the back of the arm. Tag to Finn. Fin hops over the ropes with a stomp to the chest. Tag to Dom. Crossbody. Pin for 1..2..NO!!! Dom kicks Finn, locks the fingers, bounces off with an arm drag. Finn misses a right. Priest with a surprise tag. Dom tries to suicide dive. Priest catches him and sends him into the barricade.
Back from a break, and both Dom and Finn are out in the middle of the ring! Crowd hypes them both. Tag to Rey. Tag to Priest. Rey dropkicks the leg! He flies off the middle rope with a crossbody. Whip is stopped, Rey sent t othe corner, Priest shoots him to the apron. Rey hits a shoulder, high kick, to the top, he dives with a seated senton! Cover for 1..2…NO!! BIG BOOT FROM PRIEST! Cover for 1..2..NO!!!! Priest lifts Rey up for a Razor’s Edge, Rey slips off ,hits a rana, Balor tags himself in and stops the 619 with a huge blow to the face! Shotgun dropkick in the corner from Finn. STOMP from Finn! Cover for 1..2..NO!!! Priest grabs a chair from the outside. Finn is all smiles in the center of the ring. Priest distracts the refs. Finn then tosses the chair to Rey and drops down on his ass. Dom distracts the ref, though!
Rey clocks Finn with the chair, tosses it to him, Finn catches it, no-selling the chair shot. Ref turns and sees. Drop toe hold to Finn. Same for Priest. Double 619 from Mysterios! Rey to the top. Frog Splash! Cover. 1..2…3!!!
Winner: Rey and Dominik Mysterio
While I’m glad the Eddie trick didn’t end the match, Dom still just doesn’t have that crispness necessary to make a match interesting. A nice end to cap off a cool celebration for Rey, but Judgment Day needs help, and they need it fast.
Total Rating: **1/2
Match Time: 11:29
We are backstage, and Rey is celebrating wit a shot of Patron! He takes it to the head like a champ. Rey’s daughter has a gift. Rey opens it. It’s Rey’s original pink fit from his match in 97 at Halloween Havoc. Rey: “How’d you find it?” lol. She says she had to dig, but she’s got it.
Here comes…RHEA! She’s wearing an “I’m Your Papi” shirt. Rey’s daughter steps up to Rhea. Rhea face palms her then kidnaps Dom. Lol.
Rey follows and there’s Priest and Finn to blindside him.
Finn: “It’s not your anniversary, it’s my birthday!”
Lol. Damn Finn. Rey gets powerbombed onto a nearby table. Rey’s fam runs up on Rey to check up on him. Kudos to the homie just sippin on champagne. Lol.
After a quick video package for Becky and Bianca, Bianca grabs a mic.
Becky’s music cuts her off, but Bianca ain’t bout it. She says before she starts all the complaining, she wants to remind Becky of a few things. Bianca with the EST promo.
Becky tries to talk, Bianca cuts her off with more EST.
Becky tries again, same result, so Becky just punches her. Nice.
They go back and forth with each other, neither besting the other until Bekcy tries for a Manhandle Slam. Bianca elbows her away, sets up for KOD, Becky holds the ropes, falls to the apron, pulls Bianca over the top ropes by her braid!!! Becky sends her into the ringpost! Bianca wrestles Becky over the announce table! Becky’s fit is unzipped and finally, agents and refs come out to hold them back. LET THEM FIGHT chant.
Alexa is backstage, wondering why Piper and Nikki hang out with each other.
Alexa is #1, she tells Becky and Bianca that they both better watch their backs, because she is reclaiming her place at the top of this women’s division.
Rey is backstage being tended to, agents hold back Priest and Finn, Rhea comes out of nowhere to kick Rey in the face and wish him a Happy 20th.
Lol Ok, we get it.
Match 4: Piper Niven vs Alexa Bliss
Alexa with a surprise right to Nikki, who is standing on the apron. Piper with a crossbody outta nowhere! 1..2..NO!!! Piper with a riht hand, sends Bliss to the corner ,splash in the corner. Piper uppercuts the left arm. She headutts the inner elbow. Piper slaps Bliss across the face. Locks the head, hits a supelx with ease. Cover for 1..2..NO!! Piper stands behind Bliss, grabs her arm for a submission. She ragdolls Bliss. Bliss with rights, turns into the hold, short clothesline from Piper. Cover for 1.2….NO!!!! Right hand to Bliss. Another right. Bliss to the corner. Piper hits a shoulder to the mid section. Piper rushes the corner, Bliss rolls out of the way, tries for a rana, Piper with a headbutt. Drop toe hold, kinda, from Bliss. Kick to the arm, another to the left arm, right hand, knee to the face, right hand. Bliss hits the ropes. Dropkick. Bliss in the corner. Piper tries to shoulder her again, but Bliss moves!
Bliss to the top rope! Nikki on the apron! She trips up Bliss! Piper grabs Bliss off the floor, power—no!!! DDT from Bliss!! Cover for 1…..2….3!!!
Winner: Alexa Bliss
I suppose they’re trying to build Bliss up as the next challenger, but a weird way to end the match.
Total Rating: *
Match Time: 4:21
Bliss leaves the ring and has her doll kiss another doll in the crowd, then signs an autograph.
AJ Styles is backstage, and tells Logan Paul that he loves what he did out there. This doesn’t mean he likes Logan, but he likes The Miz way less, so do everyone a favor and shut his mouth at Summerslam.
After a break, we come to the ring to see Logan Paul readying himself for imPaulsive TV.
Logan brings up his brother, and that gets some boos. He says it’s today. Astute observation, Paul.
He calls Miz out to do this by making fun of his balls.
Instead of The Miz, we get…MARYSE! She’s got her purse, and it’s two fucking balls!! She doesn’t appreciate Logan talking about….um….I dunno, she shills her show after RAW.
She also says not to talk about her kids ever again.
Most of all, do not talk about her man’s package. She brings up the standard size of testicles, and how Miz’s fit that mold.
Miz finally comes out, wearing a nice color of pink. He measures his balls, and so does every single man in this arena. Miz gave Logan everything. If it wasn’t for what he taught Paul, he wouldn’t have a mania match, a Summerslam match, and he turns around and challenges Miz? Miz will be perfectly clear. He taught Logan everything he knows, but not everything Miz knows. You are getting Big Moment Miz come Summerslam.
Logan tells him to shut up. All he does is talk. He always knew Miz had tiny balls.
Maryse slaps the mic away. Logan congratulates her for having bigger balls than her husband.
CIAMPA IS HERE! Paul corners him with rights and lefts. Mizz comes to help, but Paul slaps him once, twice, shoots the legs, attacks, here comes Ciampa to stop Logan and check on Miz. Ciampa lifts Logan, Miz hits Skull Crushing Finale.
ONE MORE TIME chant.
The Street Profits are going to give The Usos a preview of what’s going to happen at Summerslam. Jey says they’re going to body The profits just like they did at Money in the Bank.
I should mention that Jeff Jarrett is here, and he tells them both to shut up. Anyone who gets out of line tonight, he will rememver this at Summerslam. So tonight, keep the peace.
AJ’s music hits, and we’re in for a treat.
Match 5: AJ Styles and Dolph Ziggler vs The Alpha Academy
AJ and Gable to start. Dropkick from Gable, shove to AJ. AJ hits the ropes. Dropkick to Gable! Gable to the outside! AJ slingshots himself to the outside with a forearm!
We are back and Gable is waiting for Dolph to stand. Gable rolls through! Drags Ziggler to the corner.
AJ in! Otis in! Pele kick to Otis! Gable locks up with Aj, AJ shoots him off INTO A ZIG ZAG! Cover! 1..2….3!!!
Winners: AJ Styles and Dolph Ziggler
We saw practically none of that match due to the commercial break. A shame.
Total Rating: *
Match Time: 7:26
We run down the Summerslam card.
Match 6: Roman Reigns and The Usos vs The Street Profits and Matt Riddle
Jimmy and Angelo to start. They do some rope work, resulting in Dawkins hitting a spinning uppercut. Cover and it doesn’t even get a 1. Tag to Ford, who comes in with a dropkick to the face! Suplex from Dawkins to Ford ONTO Jimmy. Tag to Jey. He attacks the back of Ford, then chokes ihm up on the ropes. Distraction allows Jimmy to choke Ford up some more. Whip from Jey into the corner, Ford hops over, dropkick! He mocks Reigns! Taf to Riddle. Riddle with a kick to the chest. A right, another, kicks in the corner from Riddle. Riddle holds the ropes, and Jimmy falls to the outside! Tag to Ford who flies over the top rope onto both Usos!!
We are BACK and Reigns is in the ring with Riddle. Reigns is working the arm of Riddle. He tags in Jey, who shoulders Riddle in the mid section. Jey lifts Riddle up, hits an uppercut to the chin. Jey misses a splash in the corner. Riddle reaches for a tag. Tag to Ford! High kick to Jey! Ford to the top rope! He flies! Lands on his feet, right to Jimmy, misses one for Reigns, hits the ropes, clothesline to Jey! Kick to Jey! Another, high kick to the head. Reigns gets a tag. Back suplex from Ford. Kip up and a flex, but Reigns in with a ROCK BOTTOM TO FORD!!! Cover for 1..2….NO!!!! Reigns shouts for Dawkins to chill out on th apron. He looks down to Ford, grabs him by the head, send shim into the heel corner. Clothesline. Right hand to Ford, and it looks like he’s bleeding. Jimmy gets the tag, chops the chest. Ref checks on Ford, Jimmy tries to talk some shit, Jimmy drops some elbows to the face that is covered in blood! HEADBUTT! Cover for 1..2.NO!!! Ford struggles into the heel corner. Jey and Reigns talk some shit. Tag to Jey. Jimmy with abackbreaker, Jey flies off with a fist to the chest. Cover for 1..2…NO!!!!
We are BACK and Reigns is in the ring with Ford now. Reigns sends him into the corner face first. Right hands beat Ford down in the corner. Ref’s got some gloves on, so they may have cleaned Ford up a bit. Reigns calls for a Superman Punch. He clocks Dawkins! FORD WITH A STANDING BLOCKBUSTER!!!! Tag to Riddle! Tag to Jimmy! Riddle with a kick. In comes Jey, ripcord knee, right to the jaw of Jimmy. T-Bone suplex out the corner for Jimmy. One for Jey! Running Broton to each of The Usos! Riddle sends Jimmy to the apron. Locks the head. To the apton. Kick to Jey! Moonsault off the ropes! Riddle sends Jimmy into the ring. Jimmy misses a clothesline, Tag from Reigns. Riddle with a powerslam to Jimmy! SUPERMAN PUNCH! Cover! 1..2..NO!! Ford stops the pin! In comes Jey, Ford sends him out of the ring. Ford flies with a crossbody! Jimmy hits the orpres! Suicide dive to Ford!!!! Jimmy grabs Jey, they stand, but here’s Dawkins with a POUNCE to send The Usos over the timekeeper!!! Reigns is outside, and attacks Dawkins then hops up on th apron! Riddle is there! Grabs the head! DDT TO REIGNS!!!!
Riddle wants an RKO!!! Reigns stands! RK—NO!!!! Reigns shoots Riddle off! SPEAR!!!!! Cover for 1.2…..3!!!!!
Winner: Roman Reigns and The Usos
Well that was fun! Ford’s blood was seemingly unintentional, but it made him look bad ass. Reigns establishing himself as the big dog, finally on the red brand, is fine by me.
Total Rating: ***1/2
Match Time: 19:26
The music of Seth Rollins hits, and out comes the man with a plan! Reigns walks up the ramp, and Seth laughs in his face. He tells Reigns bye bye then heads straight for the ring where Riddle is stirring. He stands, dazed, and Seth attacks with a clothesline! He sends Riddle to the outside! Seth grabs the steps. Riddle is standing yet again, and Seth hits him with the steps! STOMP TO RIDDLE ON THE OUTSIDE!!! Set sets up Riddle’s head on the apex of the steps then stomps Riddle again!
End Show
