wrestling / TV Reports
Ciocco’s AEW Dynamite Review 12.18.24
Image Credit: AEW
Loading...Well, hello there, Sickos! It’s Wednesday and you know what that means! You’re here, I’m here, and we have this pack of DYNAMITE that is set to go off, Holiday Bash! A lot of action on tap tonight, with more Continental Classic matches to sink our teeth into! We have both blue and gold league matches tonight, as Darby Allin clashes with Will Ospreay, and Shelton Benjmain will face off with the Beast Mortos. We also have a TBS Title match, as Mercedes Mone defends against the Georgia Peach Anna Jay. We also have a couple of tag team matches, and so much more!
Speaking of the Continental Classic, here are the updated standings for both leagues coming into tonight:
Blue League
Kyle Fletcher (9 points)
Kazuchika Okada (7 points)
Mark Briscoe (6 points)
Daniel Garcia (4 points)
Shelton Benjamin (3 points)
The Beast Mortos (0 point)
Gold League
Claudio Castagnoli (6 points)
Will Ospreay (6 points)
Ricochet (6 points)
Brody King (3 points)
Darby Allin (3 points)
Komander (0 points)
And as another reminder of the rules:
-Winners earn three points.
-A Draw earns both competitors a point.
-Time limit is 20 minutes.
-There are no seconds at ring side.
How is everyone doing tonight? I don’t know who watches Ring of Honor, but if you do, and you have nothing better to do this Friday Night, feel free to join me for Final Battle. Yours Truly will be doing the live coverage for the show, and I will be trying to sift through the happenings of ROH.
Tonight, we are LIVE from the Nation’s Capital, Washington DC, for a special Holiday Bash episode of Dynamite! Our announcers are Excalibur, Tony Schiavone, and Daddy Magic Matt Menard!
We see Jon Moxley and the Big Wheelers enter the arena earlier tonight. In the back, the Remarkable Renee Paquette has Orange Cassidy and Jay White. Renee wants to know if they are worried about Jon and the Gang or is on each other? White says his focus is on the AEW WOrld Championship, but he knows he has to make it there, so he will rely on Orange. He has to rely on Hangman, but wait, he’s not dumb enough to rely on him. There is one man we cannot rely on…
But here is Hangman himself! He says Jon Moxley is his and leaves, as White stalks off after Page. Cassidy seems like he wants to talk, but he walks away.
SUSPENSE!
Now we get words from Darby Allin and Will Ospreay. Darby just says it’s show time, while Will thanks Darby for saving his neck last week, but this week, he will show Darby why he is on another level. Elsewhere in the back, we see MJF walking the halls, checking his phone, as Excalibur runs down all the matches tonight.
We are opening strong with our TBS Title Match!
TBS Title Match: Mercedes Mone (C) vs. Anna Jay
We get the Justin Roberts intro for this one. Mone wants to shake hands, but she slaps Anna. Anna can’t keep her anger in check as Mone rolls her up for a two count. Mone gets arrogant, knocks down Jay, goes for the pin, but Anna bridges out. Anna traps Mone in the corner with punches, but Mone follows her out and cuts her off. Three Amigos by Mone! Mone to the top, frog splash, but Jay moves. Anna with a slap, neck breaker, pin for a two count. Jay sits Mone up in the corner, hits a kick. Mone reverses with a choke in the corner. Mone with a bulldog from the top, cover, two count. Snapmare by Mone, running knees, another cover for a two. Crowd is split tonight for both ladies as Mone applies a straitjacket. Mone takes down Jay with a hair grab. Meteora by Mone, a two count, as she huffs and puffs as we to PIP Break!
PIP THOUGHTS!
-Unrivaled, more WNBA coverage, and I’m here for it!
-Cabenuva is no good if you are allergic to it! If you blow up, it’s not a peanut allergy!
-Lindor truffles. eat one, you’ll eat a hundred!
-There’s nothing like HBO Max!
-Collision, this Saturday after CFB!
We’re back, as Mone takes some time to pose. Jay gets the knees up, goes up top, blockbuster! A two count ensues. Anna with a spinning kick in the corner. Another one! Three in a row! Mone placed on the top! Iconclasm! GORDE BUSTER, but Jay is pinning Mone under the bottom rope, so Mone grabs the bottom rope. jay with another spin kick, neckbreaker in the ropes. Queenslayer is locked in! Mone is fighting! She bites the arm of Jay to get out. Mone locks in the Statement Maker! Jay rolls up Mone for a two count, Mone puts the Statement Maker back on. Jay uses the rope to escape, bridging attempt. Both ladies to the corner, Jay slams Mone in the corner. Rollup by Jay, a two count. Sunset bomb by Mone in the corner, looks like she took more of that. Knees to the face of Jay, Money Maker follows, and Mone retains.
WINNER: Mercedes Mone (Still Champion)
TIME: 10:30
THOUGHTS: Good showing by Anna, but let’s be real, did you REALLY think Mone was dropping the title to her?
RATING: ***
Post match, we see Kris Statlander watch on.
Earlier today, we got words from FTR. Cash says they have no problem with Jon and his group. He says he does agree with some of their ideas, but they stopped a man from being poisoned. So that means they deserved to be beaten up and left outside? Dax says that Doctor Sampson will not clear them for the rest of the year. Watch out for them, they will be at their door. But on January 1st, they will show up at Fight For the Fallen, and they will be there, but they won’t be alone. Top Guys…OUT!
Back in the arena, here comes MJF in another outlandish suit. Cut my music, cut my music! Aw, you don’t like me? Good thing I don’t care about the opinions of some Washington filth. He would have signed up to play for the Wizards instead. WIZARDS SUCK chant. LMAO. But he is no Scrooge. The best religion is Hannukah, and if you don’t celebrate it, Santa is not real, and he is not sorry for that. SANTA chant now. Santa didn’t give them coal as a kid because they deserved it, but because their parents were too poor. MJF has started a fundraiser. He is going to cry. Give him a moment. Music plays now. Picture this. There is a small child sitting across from you, he needs nourishment and food. Now picture this child is this person, and its freakishly small Adam Cole (BAYBAY!). He says you can support him by buying this weekend’s World’s End PPV.
(which it isn’t, it’s the following weekend).
And if you buy the show, you will support Adam Cole, and for that, you can thank him later.
Adam Cole on the screen now. He knows how badly MJF wants to retain the Dynamite Diamond Ring. Cole spoke to Tony Khan and said there will be two men who will keep MJF from getting the ring before the match happens. Here comes Mike Bennett and Matt Taven. Cole wants to know if he is kicking his ass yet.
But Cole is in the ring behind MJF! A beating ensues, ending with a Superkick! Cole drags MJF to the corner, looking for the Panama Sunrise, but MJF takes off!
We see Collision this past week, where Julia Hart took out Jamie Hayter. In the back with That 70’s Jamie! You attacked Jamie when she was tired and beaten. Then you attack her from behind? Message sent. Listen to what she has to say. Fight for the Fallen, she is going to drop her on her head and serve her up a strong dose of Hayterade! See you then, MATE!
We get a video package for Kenny Omega. Excalibur mentions before it that Omega is set to return to AEW soon and has a match at Wrestle Dynasty next month.
Back to the arena, here comes Christian Cage and the Patriarchy! Christian and Nick Wayne will team up to face Hook and Shibata after this commercial break.
COMMERCIALS!
Christian Cage and Nick Wayne vs. HOOK and Katsuyori Shibata
HOOK is still wearing the cast from the events of two weeks ago. Wayne and HOOK to start us off. Wayne wrestles HOOK to the mat. Back up, and HOOK wrestles Wayne to the mat. Both men back up again, Shibata and Cage tag in. Excalibur mentions Samoa Joe is still at home injured. That fake wall plaster must have hurt. Shibata from behind on Cage, he misses the PK, as Cage escapes to the corner. Cage goes behind, looking for the Killswitch, but Shibata fights him off. Cage with a thumb to the eye, but Shibata catches him off the ropes with a chop. More chops, Cage to the mat, cover for a two count. Wayne and HOOK tag back in. HOOK low bridges Wayne to the floor. Shibata and HOOK bounce Cage around, and HOOK drops Cage on top of Wayne on the floor. Shibata tags in, as Nick and Christian hug on the floor. Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww! Cage takes his time getting back into the ring. HOOK tags back in, and Wayne tags in. HOOK tries Red Rum, but Waye in the ropes. Cage uses the distraction to snap the bad hand of HOOK over the top rope. PIP Break!
PIP Thoughts:
-Impractical Jokers is not practically funny.
-Arm & Hammer commercial Pt. 1. At least get something new.
-Huh, been a while since I saw that Disoverna commercial.
-Snowmen steal snacks and soda! Film at 11!
-Sonic 3, this Friday!!
-Zales 1, everyone else that peddles jewelry, 0!
-Campbells will make your Christmas Dinner, or something!
-Skechers slip-ins, please!
-I always loved this Coca-Cola Christmas commercials.
-The General, but no Shaq!
-That same damn Corona commercial from the past 1000 years.
And we’re back, as Wayne attacks HOOK on the mat. Wayne poses as Cage smiles. HOOK back up, overhead release suplex! HOOK crawls for the tag, as Shibata enters. He takes Cage down with an elbow and a big kick to Wayne. Chops ensue, a lot of them. Shibata with the drop kick in the corner! Front Chancery! Cover for a two, Shibata transitions to a submission. Wayne breaks the hold, but Shibata keeps up with the kicks. Wayne with a high boot, Shibata eats it. Shibata eats the elbows and hits a front trip. Snapmare by Shibata, but Cage grabs the leg of Shibata. Wayne with a roll-up, two count. HOOK on the floor, he drops Cage and Kip Sabian with suplexs. Back in the ring, Wayne tries Wayne’s World, but Shibata stops him with the sleeper. RED RUM by Hook on the floor to Sabian. Mama Wayne has the ref, as Cage hits the Killswitch on Shibata. Wayne into the cover and that’s game!
WINNER: Christian Cage and Nick Wayne
TIME: 11:45
THOUGHTS: Fairly solid, the obvious point of attack was on HOOK’s injured hand. It was nice to see Shibata back, and Wayne won, which helps raise his profile.
RATING: ***
We get matches for this week’s Rampage and Collision.
A promo for Chris Jericho follows. Every King needs a throne in which to rule, a castle. There is no better perch, no better vantage point to rule from than New York City! We see Jericho walking around with fans, taking pictures, and ice skating. Everyone has appointed him the King of New York, and he’ll be damned if he let’s anyone take it from him.
We get a new Bandido promo. No faux pas Cowboys were beaten up during the making of this one.
Harley Cameron is here with an acoustic guitar, counting down the 12 Days of AEW! It was awesome, as you would expect.
COMMERCIALS!
We’re back with Mariah May! A hero is just a dreamer that doesn’t realize that dreaming doesn’t work. She has eclipsed the entire women’s division, and if she was here four years ago, Thunder Rosa wouldn’t have been hired. Does failure run in the family? May wouldn’t bring her father to World’s End, because she doesn’t want him to see what she will do to Rosa.
(May looking fairly well headlights there! Brain broke no typing skills!)
Schiavone in the ring, he welcomes Ricochet to the ring! He has a real good shot to make it to Orlando, but he notices that he has changed his demeanor. Before Ricochet can speak, here comes the Hurt Syndicate! Ricochet says they collectively look good together! Ricochet wants to know if they saw how he beat Kommander and beat Brody King? Maybe Shelton can have six points after tonight! They can keep this business on lock! This Saturday, he has Will Ospreay and he will see another side of Ricochet. MVP asks for the business card that he gave Ricochet. MVP rips the card up and says no one likes a kiss ass. LOL! Lashley pushes Ricochet towards the ropes as he leaves the ring. The guy’s hug in the ring, as MVP and Lashley leave the ring. Benjamin remains in the ring, as Mortos is out next for their match.
Continental Classic Match – Blue League: Shelton Benjmain (3 points) vs. The Beast Mortos (0 points)
Mortos attacks early, but Shelton just throws him overhead. MVP joins commentary, as Benjamin whips Mortos into the corner. Mortos hits head scissors. Mortos over the top, Benjamin fights him off, hip toss countered, Mortos snaps the ankle of Shelton. Mortos to the top, but Shelton crotches him and knocks Mortos to the floor. PIP time!
PIP Thoughts:
-Impractical Joker is like seven years past being funny.
-NHL commercial, they’re going outside for St. Louis and Chicago on New Year’s Day.
-Dovato can make you allergic. So can pollen, cat hair, and peanuts!
-The same damn Corona commercial.
-Arm & Hammer generic commercial Pt. 2.
-Nosferatu, this Christmas.
-Zales, 2, everyone else, 0!
Quick PIP break is over, as we see Mortos apply Magistral for a two count. Fans are split for the men. Mortos fights out of a suplex attempt, hits a spinning powerslam for a two count. MVP threatened violence on Excalibur. LOL. Benjamin runs into a boot, then a headbutt from Mortos. Mortos with a bulldog. Mortos goes up top, SENTON SPLASH, but that’s just a two count! Benjamin fights off the shoulders of Mortos, running powerslam. Mortos is back up, Shelton looks on surprised. Headbutt and a rolling strike from Mortos. He runs into a thrust kick from Benjamin. Germain Suplex from Shelton. Another one. A third one. Running knee in the corner, another one. Shelton with the Hurt Fall for the three count!
WINNER: Shelton Benjamin (6 points)
TIME: 8:45
THOUGHTS: Felt like Mortos might have “stolen” the points here, and he had a good run, but Benjamin was too much for him.
RATING: ***1/4
Post match, Shelton and Bobby beat up Mortos. Remember, Rush and Dralistico are not here to help. MVP says that this is what Daniel Garcia has to look forward to this weekend. Garcia comes out, he is not stupid, he knows the math, it’s one of him and three of them. But he doesn’t care, because he wants a fight tonight. But he’s not alone, as Mark Briscoe comes out. But it’s still 3-on-2, as MVP uses the cane to hit Briscoe in the back. MVP has the TNT Title, he hands it to Shelton, as Benjmain taunts him with it. He drops the title belt on Garcia, as we get the updated standings for the Blue League.
We get the highlights from the CC matches this past week on Collision. Up next, though, is Allin and Ospreay!
We get a promo for All-In Texas on Saturday, July 12th!
COMMERCIALS!
We’re back, as Renee has Ricochet. He isn’t worried about the Hurt Syndicate taking his card back. But he is worried about the match this Saturday with Will Ospreay. He came to AEW to shut the world up, and that is why he is going to have his eyes on this next match. He does the Lio Rush laugh again, but here is Swerve Strickland and Prince Nana. Turns out, Ricochet…sorry, Trevor…hasn’t changed at all. It didn’t take long for him to show that he is still the same person he always knew. But Ricochet knows the real Swerve as well, and he knows it will eat up him up inside when he wins the CC. Ricochet does the laugh again and leaves. Swerve says that’s why he is still bald.
(But isn’t Nana bald?)
RJ City and Toni Storm have “Portrait of a Rock Star”. Storm grew up grinding it out on the Indy scene, and that has led her to AEW! She has seen every AEW show up to this point, and she is glad to be here. She plays off being a former 3-time champion. City names off some names, and Toni gives her thoughts. He is clearly trying to bring out the Timeless Toni, but this one isn’t having it.
Okay, that was really funny.
Highfliers collide next!
Continental Classic Match – Gold League: Will Ospreay (6 points) vs. Darby Allin (3 points)
The fans are into it, with a HOLY SHIT chant. We have an intense stare down between the men to start. Ospreay takes Allin to the ropes, feigns a cheap shot, tries a chop, but Darby counters with a headlock. Darby of the ropes, arm drag is countered by Ospreay. Darbby rolls through and goes for the crossbody, but Ospreay rolls through. We reset as get a conventional lockup. Will takes Darbby to the corner. To the other corner, Allin escapes and hits a drop kick. Allin up top, but Ospreay chops him off the top and to the floor. Will looking to fly, Darby back in, SENTON CANNONBALL! Coffin Drop attempts, but Will to the apron. Darby turns around and tries it, but he CRASHBOUNCESDIES on the apron and goes to the floor. Darby is dead as we go to PIP.
PIP Thoughts:
-Seven episodes of Invincible Fight Girl, check it out!
-Arm & Hammer same commercial, Pt. 3.
-Popcorn, because it’s good, light, and sounds fun to hear pop!
-LOVE THAT CHICKEN FROM POPEYE’S! Cows approve!
-The Honey Baked Ham Company? That’s a new one.
-Ferrero Rochet! You know another chocolate company would strike!
-Enjoy Jim Beam responsibly!
-Cabenuva….juwnrgujne;fnp;qonf;pqenufuoiwenfiunefujoinwguon!!!!
We’re back live, as Darby is alive again trying to fight off Will. Allin with some punches, Will jumps off the chest of Darby, Ospreay is countered by Darby with a STUNNER. Allin to the corner again, but here comes Ospreay. CHEEKY NANDOS from Ospreay! Ospreay up top, he misses, Code Red reverses with the HIDDEN BLADE! BUT DARBY IS ALIVE AND REVERSES THE STORMBREAKER FOR A ROLLUP! WILL KICKS OUT AT 2.9999999! The match slows down with shots traded in the middle of the ring. Ospreay takes over with chops, but Allin keeps eating them. Magistral from Allin, a two count. Oscutter countered, COFFIN DROP off the ropes by Allin, two count. Both men go to the top rope. Ospreay fights down to the ring apron. STYLES CLASH BY OSPREAY TO THE FLOOR ON ALLIN! HOLY SHIT chant from the fans, as Allin is now officially dead. Ospreay also seems to be favoring his right knee. YOU KILLED DARBY CHANT as Will gets into the ring looking for the count out win. Darby gets in at nine and walks into the Oscutter, but that’s only a two count. Darby gets out of the Stormbreaker, SCORPION DEATH DROP! Darby to the top! COFFIN DROP! ALLIN GOES UP AGAIN! A SECOND COFFIN DROP! THE COVER! THE WIN!
WINNER: Darby Allin (6 points)
TIME: 14:30
THOUGHTS: We knew this would be good, but damn man, just damn.
RATING: ****1/4
Post match, the sound of Jon Moxley’s theme plays, and here comes Jon and the gang for the main event.
Promo for World’s End, highlighting the 4-way match for the AEW World Title.
COMMERCIALS!
Main Event Time!
Jon Moxley, PAC, and Wheeler Yuta vs. Orange Cassidy, Jay White, and Hangman Page
Page is already trying to give instructions to White and Cassidy. Page and Yuta to start, Page wants Moxley so Page tags out to Cassidy. Orange throws off the shades and goes after Yuta. Cassidy tries to knock Moxley from the apron, but PAC grabs Orange by the hair. Cassidy goes up and over, taking PAC and Yuta down on the floor. Moxley with a punch to the throat of Cassidy. He throws him back in the ring, looking for a piledriver. Cassidy fights out with some kind of a Beach Break. Page tags in, as he takes care of Yuta and PAC. Page walks by PAC to get to Moxley, but Marina Shafir steps in the way. Yuta hits him from behind and throws him into the ring. Lariat from Page stops Yuta’s momentum. Page wants Moxley, but White tags in instead. Page walks out on the match, as Moxley tries to attack from behind. White tries the Bladerunner, but Moxley fights out. Castagnoli hits Cassidy on the floor as Moxley hits a piledriver in the middle of the ring on White. PIP Break.
PIP Thoughts:
-Collision, this Saturday after Texas-Clemson.
-Macy’s! Tis the season!
-Princess, that’s a new one, too.
-Famous Footwear, you’ll play your instrument better if you buy their shoes!
-Shingles sucks, that is all.
-Chipotle, the official restaurant of Braun Strowman!
-Chocolate!
We’re back, as everyone is taking their turns beating up on White.
(have I ever mentioned how much Bryce Remsburg saying TAHTHREE cracks me up?)
F-YOU YUTA chant as White dumps him to the floor. White looking for a tag, but Cassidy isn’t there for him. PAC tags in, he hits some chops, but White hits a back body drop. PAC back in over the top with a CUTTER. PAC with some kicks, he misses the big kick, White hits him with a lariat. Cutthroat suplex by White. White is distracted by Claudio; PAC hits a release German. Cassidy looks like Pennywise emerging from the sewer, as he gets the tag from White. Top rope DDT from Cassidy to Moxley. Lazy kicks lead to real kicks, Cassidy ducks two lariats, DDT from Orange. Yuta in, Slumdog Millionaire countered into a German suplex. White and PAC now in, Cassidy cuts off PAC up top with a superplex. Moxley back in, Orange Punch countered with a cutter. HANGMAN IS BACK! HE’S TEEING OFF ON MOXLEY! Page looking for the Buckshot, but Cassidy in with the Orange Punch! Slumdog Millionaire to Yuta, Page in with the Buckshot Lariat to Yuta. Bladerunner by White on PAC. White and Page argue as Moxley sneaks in and rolls up Cassidy for the pin as White and Page argue. LMAO!
WINNER: Jon Moxley and the Death Riders
TIME: 12:00
THOUGHTS: You knew that White, Page, and Cassidy weren’t going to work together, and that was to their detriment, obviously. The Champion with the sneak win was good on him, I suppose.
RATING: ***1/4
Post match, White, Page, and Cassidy argue, as the Death Riders look to ambush them. White, Page, and Cassidy form a united front now, and the fight is on, as Shafir helps Moxley up the ramp and away from the ring.
And with that we’re done!
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