Csonka’s TNA Impact Review 4.26.16

TNA Impact Review 4.26.16

OFFICIAL RESULTS
– TNA Title Match: Champion Drew Galloway defeated Tyrus @ 8:05 via pin [**½]
– Rosemary defeated Gail Kim @ 6:10 via pin [**]
– TNA Tag Team Title Valley of Shadows Match: The Decay defeated Champions Beer Money @ 15:40 via pin to become the new tag team champions [***]
– TNA KOTM Title Falls Count Anywhere Match: Bram defeated Champion Eric Young @ 6:35 via pin to become the new KOTM champion [**½]
– No Countout, DQ, Winner Must Be By Pin or Submission Match: Mike Bennett defeated Ethan Carter III @ 11:16 via pin [***]

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TNA Title Match: Champion Drew Galloway vs. Tyrus: Tyrus called out Drew Galloway for a title match, noting that Galloway promised that he would defend the title this week. Galloway arrived; his ribs were all taped up from the attack by Lashley two weeks ago, and was a man of his word and the match was on. Tyrus attacked right away, sending Galloway to the floor where Spud got in some cheap shots. Tyrus tossed around Galloway on the floor, continued the punishment in the ring and scored a near fall. He then unwrapped the bandage on Galloway’s ribs, and continued the attack, working the injury. Tyrus missed the Vader splash and then a corner splash, allowing Galloway to finally put some offense together and make a comeback. Spud distracted him; Tyrus grabbed the title belt and missed Galloway. Galloway hit something resembling a bulldog onto the title, and then took out Spud. Galloway then hit the claymore and Tyrus actually kicked out. Galloway hit a small and went all the way up top, but took too long and Galloway cut him off. It felt as if it took forever, but Galloway finally hit a superplex for a near fall. Galloway countered the heart punch and finished off Tyrus with the future shock DDT. That was an overall solid match, playing into Galloway being the fighting champion (even with an injury) and overcoming the monster. Tyrus actually got to survive the claymore, and this came off a bit better than I expected. And now we can move on.

– We get highlights of last week’s Hardy vs. Hardy battle.

– Maria cuts a promo into a mirror, discussing what se may do with the Knockouts Division.

– Beer Money tried to decide on what to wear to the ring, and then spoke about the title defense against The Decay tonight. They promised to not go down without a fight, and planned an ass whippin at the Impact Zone.

Maria, Supreme Ruler of the Knockouts, Speaks: Maria was in the ring, talking about the trolls and noting that she doesn’t need to change, everything and everyone else needs to change as she rebuilds the knockouts division. Gail Kim makes her way to the ring, and doesn’t want Maria to ruin what they built in TNA. Maria’s whole deal was that no on cares about Kim or the division, and even called Kim delusional. Maria then threatened to take everything away from Kim, because she has the power, and also denied that she had anything to do with her kidnapping last week. Maria even said she’d let Kim wrestle tonight, and brought out Rosemary.

Rosemary w/Crazzy Steve vs. Gail Kim: Kim went on the offense early, and was then distracted by Maria at ringside, allowing Rosemary to post her. Back in the ring Rosemary worked the heat as Maria sat at ringside. Rosemary grounded Kim with a body scissors, but Kim escaped and worked her over with forearms. Rosemary then countered with the hanging head scissors in the ropes. Once she released the gold, Kim just got up and dropkicked her into Steve and then applied the figure four on the post, so much for selling. Kim then fired up with kicks and clotheslines, and then got a near fall off of a high cross. Rosemary escaped eat defeat but Kim hit the reverse DDT, but Steve pulled her to the floor. She slapped him, went up top and Maria distracted her and the referee, Rosemary misted Kim and hit an F5 for the win. It was a solid match with the predictable finish, it had the bones of a good match but all of the ballyhoo took away from the overall presentation for me. TNA is set on this Kim vs. Maria feud, and it doesn’t excite me at all.

– Eli Drake hyped his “Fact of Life” talk show.

– We see Jeff Hardy limping into the building.

Eli Drake’s Fact of Life: Drake is in the ring, wearing a suit top with no sleeves. He calls everyone dummies, and even has a “dummy” button. He calls Jeff Hardy a dummy for his dive last week, calls Drew Galloway a dummy and then introduces the BroMans, the next dummies. The BroMans are wearing gold-rimmed glasses with no lenses. They argue over which dummy they are, and Drake keeps pressing the button and keeps calling them dummies. Drake ran down Jessie for leaving him, calling him a, you guessed it, a dummy. After some childish arguing, Drake said he planned to become the KOTM champion, because he has his briefcase and then hit the button a bunch of times. It ended up with a brawl, and Drake bailed. They then called Drake a dummy, and hit the button. That was the exact opposite of good, I did not enjoy the segment at all, and it felt like something a high school talent show would put on. Actually I have judged a ton of those, and am not sure I have ever seen anything that bad. It was never even funny in a bad way, and I love bad movies, it was just not creative or funny in any way.

– Decay cut a promo, saying that they will win the tag titles and further the decay.

– EC3 cut a promo about wanting revenge on Bennett before getting back to the TNA title. He reminded everyone that he has not been pinned or submitted.

TNA Tag Team Title Valley of Shadows Match: Champions Beer Money vs. Decay w/Rosemary: They really haven’t said what a “Valley of Shadows Match” is, other than there are no rules, so basically it is a new name for Monster’s Ball. Decay attacked during Beer Money’s entrance, leading to brawl on the floor. We have special lighting and hardcore items around the ring. They did the old walk and brawl for the first few minutes, it was fine, but nothing special early. Abyss tossed in the basic hardcore weapons; chairs, trashcans, kendo sticks and cookie sheets, and decay took control and slowly beat down the champions. Decay then tossed Roode to the floor and worked over Storm. They tried a rocket launcher, but Storm tossed a chair into Steve’s face. Roode then returned, and they started to play the hits on the Decay and took control of the match for the first time as we took a commercial break. Post break, Rosemary handed Abyss a barbed wire board, Storm then saved Roode from going through it and then suplexed Steve onto it. Abyss cut them off and got the bag of thumbtacks. Abyss then hit the black hole slam onto Roode (not in the tacks) for a near fall. Rosemary then got into the ring and accidentally misted Abyss. Storm beer misted rosemary and hit Abyss with the beer bottle for a near fall. Storm went up top, but Steve shoved him off and through a table on the floor. Rosemary then low blowed Roode as he attacked Steve and Abyss chokeslammed Roode into the tacks. Abyss and Steve did a pile on pin to win the titles. For the most part, it was the regular TNA cluster of violence that they do in these matches. I think overall they did a good job, and Roode doing the job on the way out was expected.

– Bram cut a promo on Eric Young, and is pissed off that Young disrespected him. Tonight Bram will take the KOTM title, and end Young.

– Mike Bennett said that he promised to change TNA, and said that he is also undefeated. He promises to beat EC3 tonight, saying that the crowd will chant “yes we do” and that he will have taken everything from him.

TNA KOTM Title Match: Champion Eric Young vs. Bram: Young cut a promo, he’s great, Bram fucked up and he will beat him tonight. They started brawling right away, which is expected and appreciated. They brawled to the floor, so it’s every Bram/Young match in the last year. Bram took a trashcan lid from Young, but before he could use it, Young low blowed him. He then used the lid, so I guess this is now a no DQ match (the casual mention that this is a falls count anywhere match in the opening minutes was poor production). Young hit as DDT onto the lid, and got a near fall. Young set up a table on the floor, and then beat down Bram with lid shots again. Bram battled back with rights, clotheslines and trashcan lid shots; he then got a near fall off of a powerbomb. I really wish commentary would really sell that this is a falls count anywhere match, they are calling this like any other match. Young fought back and hit the top rope elbow for a near fall. They brawled to the apron, Bram then got the low blow and hit his DDT off of the apron through the table. He then covered on the floor to pick up the win. This was a falls count anywhere match, which I just casually mentioned in the opening minutes. This is where an official ring announcement would have helped. This would have likely come off better had it not followed a match where they basically did anything even everything with weapons and no rules.

– Jeff Hardy limps around backstage.

– Drew Galloway discusses being banged up, and not feeling his best. He hasn’t forgotten about Lashley and dares him to show up next week and fight him.

Jeff Hardy Talks: Jeff limped his way to the ring, selling the big dive from last week where he dove off onto Matt, who was stretchered out. He hopes last week was a wakeup call for Matt, and he will never stop being Jeff Hardy. Reby came out to tell Jeff she hated him. Spud was with her, wearing a cut off muscle shirt. Spud then admonished Jeff for what he did to Matt, and said he represented Matt, Reby, Maxell and the Hardy family. He promised that Jeff would pay for his selfishness, and Reby said she was sick because Jeff tore the family apart. She claimed Matt made Jeff a star, and there would be no Hardys without Matt. Reby is worried about Matt, about the hate in his eyes, and promised that Jeff would have to deal with a Matt Hardy he created. She then spit in his face and slapped him. Spud then clipped the knee of Jeff, and yelled, “this is for you Matt!” Jeff then gave him a twist of fate. As expected, the Matt vs. Jeff feud continues after last week’s non-finish.

No Countout, DQ, Winner Must Be By Pin or Submission Match: Mike Bennett vs. Ethan Carter III: After a quick back and forth, Carter sent Bennett to the floor, Bennett teased using a chair, but Carter quickly put a stop to that and slammed Bennett to the barricade. They brawled around ringside, with Carter controlling and the crowd being into him more than anything else on the show. Carter then hit a falcon arrow (HE DID THE DEAL) for a near fall. Bennett then raked the eyes and posted Carter to take the heat. Bennett worked the arm a bit, Carter fought back with the jawbreaker and corner splash but Bennett attacked the arm again. After some back and forth, Bennett countered the one percenter and hit a spinebuster for a near fall. Carter hit a flatliner, and headed up top and hit a high cross for a near fall. They then did a double down spot, Bennett would they try to go back after the arm but Carter hit the TKO. Bennett countered he one percenter and hit a cutter for a near fall. Maria slid in a chair, Bennett laid into Carter with chair shots to the back, but Carter hit the one percenter for a near fall as Maria ran in and shoved the ref off of the count. Carter then laid into Bennett with chair shots and tossed it to the floor. He got the million dollar dream, Bennett fought and then did the old run up the corner and turned it into the pin. This was an overall good match, with an anticlimactic finish. I think that they needed to get the “never pinned label” off of Carter, and Bennett needed something, but this felt flat.

* End scene.

* Thanks for reading.

“Byyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyye Felicia!”

6.0

The final score: review Average

The 411

This was another overall fine show from TNA, playing off of the previous week’s show well enough and changing the titles they needed to with the departures of Roode and Young. I am not sure if this will make sense to you, but while things are happening, it doesn’t really feel as if anything important is happening. I keep waiting for the show to really grab my attention, and unfortunately it is just a fine show, That’s not a bad thing in many ways, but if I wasn’t reviewing the show, I doubt I would be a weekly watcher. It was fine, outside of the Drake segment, I really disliked that.