Csonka’s WWE Fastlane Review 2.21.16

Csonka’s WWE Fastlane Review 2.21.16

OFFICIAL RESULTS
– Sasha Banks and Becky Lynch defeated Tamina and Naomi @ 12:30 via submission [**¾]
– WWE Intercontinental Title Match: Champion Kevin Owens defeated Dolph Ziggler @ 15:29 via pin [***¼]
– Kane, Big Show and Ryback defeated The Wyatts @ 9:00 via pin [**]
– Divas Title Match: Champion Charlotte defeated Brie Bella @ 12:30 via submission [**]
– AJ Styles defeated Chris Jericho @ 16:23 via submission [***½]
– Curtis Axel defeated R-Truth @ 2:23 via pin [NR]
– #1 Contender’s Match: Roman Reigns defeated Dean Ambrose and Brock Lesnar @ via pin [****]

PRE-SHOW: US Champion Kalisto defeated Alberto Del Rio 2 falls to 1 to remain the US Champion. They did a good job, using some basic heel stuff with Del Rio using he chair for the foul, losing fall one in order to punish Kalisto to win fall two. Del Rio’s double stomp finish is still fucking stupid, because the guy has to hold himself up for him to hit it. I also wish that Kalisto had gotten to win with his finish, because the DQ was fine, but winning with the roll up/slip on a banana peel again felt like a cop out to protect Del Rio while not exactly making Kalisto. Mauro Ranallo was awesome on commentary, making me sad that I’ll have to listen to Michael Cole for the next three hours. I also have no idea why this was not on the PPV; it would have been a strong addition to the card. [***]

– The Vincent J. McMahon Legacy Of Excellence Award ceremony will kick off Raw tomorrow night.

Sasha Banks and Becky Lynch vs. Tamina and Naomi: They heavily pushed the unity of Team BAD, while Lynch and Banks played reluctant tag partners, tagging in when the other wasn’t looking. Naomi worked her Speedball Mike Bailey kicks, and then Team Bad got the heat on Lynch, which was expected because she’s the more sympathetic figure and also because they have presented Banks as a stronger threat. They worked a solid heat, the crowd wasn’t very friendly to them at times, but didn’t seem to hate it. Good near tag spot where Banks got pulled to the floor, Lynch fought back and Naomi took a ridiculous bump to the floor on a low bridge. Instead of just going over she very obviously jumped and it didn’t make it look better. Banks got the hot tag, she got a good reaction overall but Tamina stopped her attempt at the Banks statement. Banks survived the rear view and Lynch saved her when she ate a superkick; Banks and Lynch got stereo submissions and picked up the win. At the end of the day they were able to overcome and work together, and we’re likely heading for a three-way with these ladies as the challengers. They had to work really hard to get the crowd into it, and it was a bit rough early, but they worked hard and got it together and got the crowd into it by the end. All four ladies played their roles well.

WWE Intercontinental Title Match: Champion Kevin Owens vs. Dolph Ziggler: Good back and forth to begin the match, with Ziggler getting some shine as Owens talked some good trash like mentioning that Ziggler’s hometown loves him more. Owens got the heat when Ziggler took the Bret Hart buckle bump and commentary noted he hurt his shoulder. Ziggler would get small bursts of offence, but Owens kept cutting him off. Owens kept working the chinlock, asking Ziggler to submit and also proclaiming that this was, “chinlock island.” So Owens posted himself and started to favor his shoulder, so of course from there, neither man really sold or worked the shoulder. Why make a point of discussing these spots on commentary and then not have them do it? When this happens it just becomes an instance when you’re just doing shit to do shit. Ziggler countered out of a pop up powerbomb, but Owens got a fisherman’s buster off the ropes only for Ziggler to roll to the floor. On the floor Ziggler hit a superkick and then fell down, and THEN CHOSE TO SELL THE SHOULDER. Come on dude. After a lot of back and forth and counters, Ziggler got the fameasser for a near fall. Ziggler went for a superkick, Owens moved and Ziggler almost hit the ref. The hesitation allowed Owens to hit a kick to the knee and the pop up powerbomb for the win. Overall this was a good match, but the complete fuckery with the shoulder stuff and the fact that it felt about two-minutes too long (it felt a bit slow down the stretch) held this back from being a much better match.

– Show, The Ryback and Kane cut a promo. They plan to kill or eat the Wyatts.

Kane, Big Show and Ryback vs. The Wyatt Family (Harper, rowan and Strowman) w/Bray Wyatt: Show did his big chops early as we got to hear that his hands were like frying pans. Did you ever hear that before, because I never did. We were also informed that he’s bigger in person than on TV, which I can agree with because while I have a 70-inch TV, he’s like a legit 6’10 right? The Wyatts beat down Ryback for a bit, Show was playing cheerleader and willed him to make the tag to Kane. 2016 Kane wrestles in slow motion, and did some stuff but then got cut off and the Swamp Monsters got the heat on him. Clubbing shots, chokes, other assorted big man stuff was used, even Harper seemed boring, which is saying something. I can hear people in the crowd having conversations about laundry and making shopping lists there is such a lack of heat here. Ryback got a warm tag, did his CM Punk tribute knee spots and actually got the crowd to chant for him, so good on him. Harper smartly just kept feeding him because this was really the first thing to get some heat. Rowan made a save, it broke down and then Ryback won with the Shellshock on Harper. Well that made absolutely no sense after pushing the Wyatts so much as of late. Unless plans changed, or they just do the rematch on Raw and the Wyatts win and continue WWE’s trend of 50/50 booking; all I know is that the booking of the Wyatts continues to be puzzling. I thought this would be bad, thankfully it was perfectly fine.

– Roman Reigns spoke with baby girl JoJo backstage. Ambrose arrived; they talked about booking a trip to WrestleMania through Priceline and getting good deals. I thought the company paid for travel, must be tough times for WWE.

– We get a video package for Brie vs. Charlotte, including Charlotte’s horrible acting and delivery of already poorly written lines.

WWE Divas Title Match: Champion Charlotte w/Ric vs. Brie Bella: After the basic back and forth, brie got her shine and did some Bryan and Nikki tribute stuff as commentary pushed that she was working off emotion and fighting for her family. Charlotte would get the heat after sending Brie to the floor, and got her nose slightly busted open at one point. Charlotte tried to steal Nikki’s Alabama slam, which Brie managed to counter. Brie was going for the YES lock at one point, Charlotte sold ridiculously and they almost fell down and ended in a crucifix. Charlotte worked the skull fucker as she tried to wear Brie down, but Brie fought back, hit her Brie mode knee and the Nikki Bella Strong Style Forearm tribute spot for a near fall. Brie would counter the spear into, well it was supposed to be a roll up, but it was rough looking. Brie then hit a missile dropkick, which led to her selling that she tweaked her knee. She got a good near fall off of the X-Factor, and then got the YES lock. Ric got involved, but Brie then got a single leg crab. Charlotte kicked Brie into the ropes, and then got he figure eight and Brie had to tap. They had several rough spots, which hurt the match. They did work hard, and they did get the crowd into it by the end, which is good. The finish lacked, as Brie tweaks the knee, gets kicked off a hold and Charlotte just gets her move and wins. I really wish they had invested some work to build to that instead of going with the Ric stuff and rush to the finish.

Chris Jericho vs. AJ Styles: Good back and forth early, with both guys going for their submission finishers, but both being able to escape. The crowd was hot early, chanting for both guys. Jericho would get a big back body drop and then send AJ to the floor, allowing him to take control of things for a bit until he missed a corner splash and fell to the floor. AJ would go for a plancha, but a Jericho dropkick from the floor cut that off. They did lot of back and forth in the first eight minutes or so, with both guys getting brief points of momentum, but then being cut off. AJ almost blew the asai DDT, but Jericho saved the spot well. We had a lot of back and forth overall, and as AJ went for the springboard forearm, Jericho hit the springboard DDT to send AJ crashing to the mat. Jericho was getting pissy with AJ, slapping him at several points. AJ went to the RANA off the top, Jericho dropped down and almost killed AJ, and went for the Walls and got it. AJ teased tapping but made the ropes. They worked to the floor, and Jericho got the liontamer for a bit, and returned to the ring and looked to take the countout. As he made it back in, Jericho hit the code breaker, but AJ’s arm was under the ropes. Jericho turned into Randy Orton and called AJ stupid several times as the crowd was still really into this. AJ then countered the back breaker and rolled into the clash for a great near fall. AJ then got the calf crusher, Jericho fought and then had to tap. It went a little too long, and they had a couple of rough parts, but this was the best thing on the show (although not by much). I personally thought the Smackdown match was an overall smoother and better outing.

– Post match, they teased fighting again, but Jericho offered his hand to AJ, and they shook.

The Cutting Edge Peep Show: Edge had Tony Chimmel there to do announce them. Edge and Christian talked a bit about being back, and New Day cut them off and made their way to the ring. The did a bunch of back and forth giggles and shit, and that led to the league of Nations coming to the ring. Yes, this is seemingly here to set up New Day vs. The League of Nations. New Day left, the League of Nations threatened to beat up Edge and Christian. Edge and Christian left, and told the League to do a five second pose and called them the International House of Dumbasses. New Day laughed, and then did their booty dance. This Fucking Sucked and had no place on the PPV. That seemed like a completely half assed attempt to turn New Day face, which they didn’t need any help to do, and to hype the E&C show. This did nothing for character development and really made no sense. It was also horrible.

– The Social Outcasts appeared, and no one cared. Oh joy, we’re getting a bonus match. Because why put the US Title match on the PPV.

R-Truth vs. Curtis Axel: They did stuff, Slater and Rose tried to distract Truth and he fought them off. Dallas got involved, allowing Axel to take control, They did their victory lap, Goldust then came to the ring. He tripped up Axel as Truth fought off the other Outcasts. Goldust then beat on the others, but Axel ended up rolling up Truth for the win. This was a bullshit Raw segment tacked onto the PPV for no reason other than the fact that they were short on time and had to fill the show. It’s a shame that they didn’t have a US Title match they could have put n this PPV.

– These last two segments have caused this show, which was pretty good, to grind to a screeching halt.

#1 Contender’s Match: Brock Lesnar vs. Roman Reigns vs. Dean Ambrose: The early portion was Lesnar in beast mode, beating down both men and suplexing them at will. He even caught Ambrose on a suicide dive and then suplexed him on the floor. The crowd liked their boy Dean Ambrose, but they loved Lesnar destroying Reigns. Lesnar got a near fall off the F5 on Reigns, Ambrose made the save and this did not amuse Lesnar. Ambrose, being a crazy bastard, slapped Lesnar and got destroyed with knees for his trouble. Reigns took a nap while Lesnar worked over Ambrose with suplexes. Lesnar looked for the F5, but Reigns hit a spear and got a near fall off of that. The action spilled to the floor, where Ambrose saved Reigns from an F5 through a table with a low blow. Lesnar has two known weaknesses, the Diverticulitus and low blows. They then powerbombed Lesnar through an announce table. Ambrose then attacked Reigns, and got a great reaction for doing so. Ambrose ran wild for a bit as they went back to the ring, they worked well together and Ambrose got a near fall, but Lesnar was alive and getting up on the floor. They attacked Lesnar again and powerbombed him through a second announce table. They buried him under the table rubble this time, and this time Reigns attacked Ambrose. Reigns hit a Superman punch, but Ambrose sidestepped the spear and Reigns posted himself and Ambrose covered for a good near fall. Ambrose and Reigns are working very well together. Super Babyface Brock Lesnar returned and suplexed both men at the same time (Reigns was going for a Samoan drop on Ambrose). Reigns tried for the spear, hit it but then Lesnar got the kimura. Reigns powered to his feet with Lesnar hanging off of him and Ambrose then hit Lesnar several times with a chair to break that up, he then laid into Reigns with chair shots! Ambrose disposed of Lesnar with more chair shots, and then Reigns hit the spear to pick up the win. As a match I really enjoyed it, Reigns and Ambrose had great exchanges, Brock killed people and was also protected without doing what everyone expected and having the Wyatts run in. Roman Reigns winning still comes off as puzzling, I know it’s the program and they had been building to it, but no one is buying him as the top face.

– Triple H then made an appearance, and headed to the ring. They stared down and looked at the Mania sign.

* End scene.

* Thanks for reading.

“Byyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyye Felicia!”

6.5

The final score: review Average

The 411

The first thing I want to say is this, the WWE Network was a complete bag of dicks tonight. It constantly slowed, buffered, the sound cut in and out and at times I felt as if I was watching a 17th generation VHS I traded for back in 91 for some episodes of Who’s The Boss. This is the first time I had an issue of this sort, and I saw a ton of people online that had the same issues. It was completely frustrating.

As far as the show goes, we had some good wrestling and a nice flow and I felt that at the end of the day we were heading for an overall good show. Unfortunately they lost a ton of momentum with the horrible Edge and Christian segment, and the impromptu match that followed. That hurt the overall enjoyment level of the show for me.