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Csonka’s WWE Raw Review 01.01.18
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Csonka’s WWE Raw Review 01.01.18
OFFICIAL RESULTS
– Jason Jordan defeated Cesaro @ 13:22 via pin [**¾]
– Bray Wyatt defeated Apollo Crews @ 10:25 via pin [½*]
– Non-Title Match: Asuka defeated Champion Alexa Bliss @ 14:50 via submission [**]
– Braun Strowman defeated Rhyno & Slater @ 2:32 via pin [NR]
– IC Title Match: Champion Roman Reigns defeated Samoa Joe @ 23:05 via pin [****]
– Cedric Alexander & Goldust defeated Drew Gulak & Ariya Daivari @ 3:16 via pin [**]
– Finn Balor, Anderson, & Gallows defeated Elias, Axel, & Dallas @ 3:25 via pin [**]
– Follow all of my reviews at this link.
– I ranked the Raw women’s division from worst to first at this link.
– I ranked the Smackdown women’s division from worst to first at this link.
– I wrote about the winners in the battle for the Broken Universe at this link.
– I wrote about the top 10 female NXT stars at this link.
– I wrote about how quickly the WWE can change in just 6-years at this link.
– I wrote about 8 possible surprises for the women’s Royal Rumble at this link.
– We get highlights from last week’s show.
– Bliss complains to Angle about having to face Asuka tonight. Angle says tough shit and makes the match anyway.
Kurt Angle Talks: Angle puts over his great 2017, and says 2018 will be even better. He hypes Raw 25 and the Royal Rumble. The women’s Rumble will be the same as the men’s, 30 participants, over the top, and the winner gets a WrestleMania title shot. He expects the Raw talent to win both matches, and is then interrupted by Cesaro & Sheamus. The claim they were robbed of their tag titles, especially when Angle gifted Jordan a title match. They didn’t appreciate Angle celebrating the title change last week. They demand a rematch tonight, but Angle says they’ll get it when he says sp. Jordan now arrives. He says he deserved the shot, and proved it when he won the titles. He says he got the shot due to his track record, and threatens to send Cesaro back to the dentist. He books Jordan vs. Cesaro.
– Seth Rollins arrives and says Jordan needs to learn about teamwork, because he came out alone. Rollins is here to back him up, and tells Jordan not to be so self absorbed. The crowd chants. “Daddy’s boy” at Jordan. Rollins then says he’s here to watch Jordan lose; Cesaro attacks Jordan, sending him to the floor…
Jason Jordan vs. Cesaro: JIP as Cesaro is working over Jordan. Jordan quickly makes a comeback, hitting a dropkick for 2. Cesaro fires back with uppercuts, and then grounds the action. Cesaro goes springboard, but gets cut off and slammed to the buckles. Jordan then misses a charge, posts himself and Cesaro clips the knee. Cesaro then targets the knee, grounding Jordan and grounds things again; really nice work by Cesaro as he focuses on the knee here. Jordan hits a desperation clothesline, but Cesaro again takes out the knee. Cesaro slams Jordan knee first off the apron. Post break, and Cesaro is still in control, attacking the knee. Cesaro now locks on a half crab; Jordan fights out and then walks into an uppercut. Jordan manages to cut him off, looks for a suplex, but Cesaro takes out the knee. Jordan fires up and hits overhead belly-to-belly suplexes and then a corner spear. Jordan follows with the rolling northern lights suplexes, but Cesaro kicks out. Cesaro takes out the knee, Sheamus gets in a cheap shot and Cesaro covers for 2, and then goes back to the crab. Jordan fights and makes the ropes. Rollins takes out Sheamus, Cesaro is distracted and Jordan hits the pop up neck breaker for the win. Jason Jordan defeated Cesaro @ 13:22 via pin [**¾] This was a pretty good match overall, as they tried to make Jordan the sympathetic babyface. The work was good, but the crowd wasn’t into Jordan as the never say die face they tried to make him.
– Reign runs down Joe, and calls him a punk. Tonight’s match will be ugly, but Reigns will try to stay with in the rules.
Bray Wyatt vs. Apollo Crews w/Titus & Dana: They lock up, and Wyatt takes him to the corner and does his wacky pose. Wyatt then attacks with strikes, but Crews hits an enziguri and senton atomico. The elbow drop gets 1. Crews works a headlock, but Wyatt escapes and cuts him off. Wyatt chokes him out in the ropes, Crews escapes and picks up the pace and into the international and the dropkick gets 2 for Crews. Crews heads up top, gets cut off and Wyatt hits a draping jawbreaker. Wyatt stomps on him, stares down Titus and Brooke and… we take a commercial? Post break, and Wyatt has it grounded. The arena is silent here. Wyatt follows with a running cross body, covering for 2. Crews tries to fire up and make a comeback, hits the running boot and standing shooting star press for 2. They spill to the floor, Crews rolls Wyatt backing, but eats a clothesline. Wyatt gets distracted by Brooke, Wyatt scares her and she falls onto Titus. Wyatt hits sister Abigail for the win. Bray Wyatt defeated Apollo Crews @ 10:25 via pin [½*] This was a bad match, with absolutely no crowd investment that had no right going over 10-minutes.
– Matt cuts a post-match promo on Wyatt, telling him that he’s turning the WWE into his woken universe. He will take Abigail’s powers and delete Wyatt. He starts laughing and we get a million Matt faces on the screen.
A WIN for @WWEBrayWyatt comes with a warning…from #WOKEN @MATTHARDYBRAND! #RAW pic.twitter.com/FwYqYvTR9y
— WWE (@WWE) January 2, 2018
– Alexa Bliss talks to Nia and needs her in her corner. Nia is taking chicken soup to a sick Enzo (who she says can’t defend his title tonight), and Bliss tells her it’s him or me and Nia picks Enzo.
Non-Title Match: Champion Alexa Bliss vs. Asuka: Bliss plays stay away to begin. Asuka finally attacks the arm, taking early control and grounding the action. Asuka rolls into a knee bar, but Bliss escapes. Bliss takes Asuka down, but Asuka pops right back up. Shoulder blocks follow and then Asuka mocks Bliss a bit and hits the running ass attack. Bliss bails to the floor. Bliss teases entering the ring again, but backs off. Bliss back in and Asuka attacks right away, laying kicks in. Bliss gets in a cheap hot and bails again. Post break, and Bliss is working a body scissors, grounding Asuka. Asuka rolls into an ankle lock, Bliss fights and makes the ropes. Bliss bends Asuka around the ring post, and then follows with some grounded strikes, and covers for 2. They trade roll ups, and Bliss hits a back breaker for 2. Bliss lays in more strikes, and again covers for 2. Back to the body scissors by Bliss, and then locks on a guillotine but Asuka counters out into a hammerlock variation. Bliss makes the ropes, and attacks the ribs again. Bliss slaps Asuka, which fires Asuka up and she fires back with dropkicks. The second rope dropkick follows and then the corner ass attack. Another ass attack follows, Bliss fights off the German, but Asuka counters the sunset flip into a cover for 2. Bliss sends Asuka to the floor, but Asuka hits a head kick and another. The arm bar follows and Bliss taps. Asuka defeated Champion Alexa Bliss @ 14:50 via submission [**] Like the Bray Wyatt match, this was long for the sake of filling time. I liked Alexa playing chicken shit heel to begin, it was well done, and led to her cutting corners to finally get some heat on Asuka. Unfortunately the second half was a bit rough, with (again) a dead crowd. I never really bough Bliss’ offense, and felt it went way too long, especially considering the crowd tonight. Overall this was ok, and it seems that they could be changing things up and doing the title match between these two at the rumble, and do the title change there, and put Bliss into the rumble in order to create more drama in terms of the winner with Asuka out of the match. Also, the champions losing non-title matches on TV has really become a crutch that WWE relies on way too much.
– Joe is interviewed about tonight’s IC Title match, and says he will beat Reigns tonight, because he owns him and has mentally broken him. Joe continues to deliver really great promos. Renee’s subtle disdain for Joe is also amazing.
Braun Strowman vs. Rhyno: Rhyno is trying to toughen up Slater, and is looking to show him how it’s done tonight. Braun runs wild with shoulder blocks and kicks. Braun then goes after Slater, telling him to stand on the floor and shut up, or get in the ring and get these hands. Slater joins in, they attack Braun, but Braun has enough of that and just starts destroying them; the powerslam finishes Rhyno. Braun Strowman defeated Rhyno & Slater @ 2:32 via pin [NR] BRAUN. SMASH. PUNY. MEN.
– The crowd wants more, so Braun fights off Slater and powerslams him. Rhyno also eats another powerslam, and so does Slater, and the crowd is finally alive. HE’S NOT FINISHED WITH THEM YET and hits two more powerslams. BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!
– Seth & Roman talk backstage. Roman promises he’s cool and will take Joe out, because he’s a joke. Jordan arrives, and says if the Bar interferes, they will take them out. Roman & Seth aren’t amused.
BELIEVE…that @JasonJordanJJ and @WWERollins WILL get involved if #TheBar tries to interfere in @WWERomanReigns' #ICTitle match against @SamoaJoe tonight! #RAW pic.twitter.com/sRybYbvPFB
— WWE Universe (@WWEUniverse) January 2, 2018
– Braun meets up with Kane backstage, and Kane doesn’t want to fight. Kane says he wants to talk about Brock. Kane says together, they can tame the beast and he has a plan. Braun doesn’t give a shit about his plan and will take down Brock on his own.
– Angle takes a fake phone call and then meets with Balor, who says that he was the first universal champion and never was beat for the title and never got his rematch. He wants to be in the rumble. He’s a in a 6-man tag tonight WITH THE GOOD BROTHERS…
IC Title Match: Champion Roman Reigns vs. Samoa Joe: Reigns can lose the title if he gets DQ’d. The ref is the same one from last week, the one Reigns shoved to get DQ’d and fined. Joe attacks at the bell with rapid-fire jabs. Joe continues working over Reigns with more jabs, Reigns finally fires up and works over Joe in the corner and breaks before the count gets to 5. Reigns lays in more strikes but the ref separates them, allowing Joe to hit a suplex for 2. Joe follows with another suplex and Reigns rolls to the floor. Post break, and Joe has things grounded. Reigns fights to his feet, but Joe runs him over with an elbow, covering for 2. Joe follows with knees and strikes, but Reigns fights off the suplex and he hits a suplex to turn the tide. Reigns charges, but posts himself as Joe sidesteps him, and covers for 2. Joe starts working the arm, grounding Reigns. Reigns fights to his feet, lays in rights and a clothesline and another. Joe hits the corner charge and enziguri for 2. Joe chokes out Reigns in the ropes, and follows with more strikes. He then whips Reigns to the corner, stalking him again. Joe talks trash and follows with rights. He again whips Reigns to the buckles, continuing to talk trash. Joe again grounds the action, working the arm. Reigns fights to his feet, and hits a clothesline. Reigns lays in repeated clotheslines, and then kicks Joe to the floor. Reigns follows, and hits the drive by kick. Back in they go and Reigns covers for 2. Reigns lays in rights, and the ref separates them. Joe then sends Reigns to the floor and hits the elbow suicida. They work back into the ring, beating the count. Post break, and Joe is slapping Reigns around and laying in head butts. Joe circles Reigns, laying in kicks and talking more trash. Reigns fires up, and they trade strikes and Reigns then hits the Samoan drop for 2. Reigns sets, but Joe powders to the floor. Reigns follows and Joe cuts of the superman punch and slams Reigns off the steps and says, “this is for Dean,” but Reigns slams Joe to the steps. Both men are down. Reigns looks to pick up the steps and use them, but the ref stops him as Joe dares him to do it. Joe attacks, but Reigns hits a superman punch. Back in and Reigns hits another, but Joe kicks out at 2. Reigns sets, charges but Joe cuts off the spear and shoves Reigns into the ref. Joe then hits the uranage, and Reigns kicks out at 2. Joe is pissed. The crowd loves this. Joe locks in the clutch, Reigns rolls out and hits the spear and that’s that. Champion Roman Reigns defeated Samoa Joe @ 23:05 via pin [****] This was a great back and forth, hard-hitting match that played to the stipulation very well. They had the crowd the entire time, and it was the first thing on the show that really felt great/important.
– Heyman meets with Angle. He says if Kane & Braun gang up on Lesnar, he will be proactive, because 2018 will be the year of the beast.
– Tomorrow…again…
TOMORROW NIGHT: @GentlemanJackG is out for retribution against @HideoItami on #205Live at 10/9c only on @WWENetwork! pic.twitter.com/8D8be7YS9d
— WWE (@WWE) January 2, 2018
– Gulak & Daivari are here, with a message from Enzo. They have a note, and Gulak reads Enzo’s usual shtick as proper as possible. The note claims Enzo has the flu and won’t defend his title tonight. Gulak reading Enzo’s lines is always great. Cedric Alexander arrives. Alexander wants competition, and Gulak agrees to a tag team match, but says Alexander has no friends. Goldust arrives and looks to be his partner. Goldust runs down Gulak & Daivari, and offers to be Alexander’s friend.
Cedric Alexander & Goldust vs. Drew Gulak & Ariya Daivari: v and Daivari begin, with Alexander taking control. Gulak distracts him, allowing Daivari to take control. He keeps Alexander from making the tag, until Alexander hits a back elbow. Wholesale changes to Gulak & Goldust, and Goldust hits the bulldog and lays in rights to Gulak. The snap slam follows, and then an atomic drop to Daivari. Goldust up top and hits the high cross to both. Alexander in with clotheslines to both, Daivari taken out and the lumbar check finishes Gulak. Cedric Alexander & Goldust defeated Drew Gulak & Ariya Daivari @ 3:16 via pin [**] This was an ok little match, keeping Alexander’s momentum with Enzo out; fuck it, put Goldust on 205 Live, he’s fun and looks like he wants to work weekly so bad.
– Elias is here and says WWE stands for Walk With Elias, and Raw is his show, and the WWE Universe is his universe. He will win the rumble, main event Mania and give a grand performance. He brings in Axel, & Dallas, they have a cowbell and sleigh bells. They say Miz will return next week, and dedicate the song to him. They butcher the song like good heels. Finn & The Good Brothers interrupt…
Finn Balor, Anderson, & Gallows vs. Elias, Axel, & Dallas: JIP as the heels work the heat on Balor. Quick tags follow, as Elias tags in and works over Balor. Balor tries to fight back, but Elias cuts him off and stops the tag. Elias grounds things, Balor manages to fight to his feet, but gets taken back down. Balor finally escapes, hits a standing double stomp and tags in Gallows. Gallows runs wild, taking out all the heels and hitting a corner splash and big boots. The running splash gets 2 as Elias makes the save. Anderson takes him out, and the magic killer hits on Dallas; Balor hits the double stomp and picks up the win. Finn Balor, Anderson, & Gallows defeated Elias, Axel, & Dallas @ 3:25 via pin [**] This was another short, but ok match. The main issue is the fact that Balor seems slotted on No-Fucksville, because the company isn’t doing a damn thing with him, and has slotted him with losers for weeks after his great angle with Kane, where he got treated like a complete jobber.
– Next week…
NEXT WEEK: #RAW will certainly be AWESOME and MUST-SEE as @mikethemiz makes his highly-anticipated return! pic.twitter.com/fpNiA6h3Yy
— WWE (@WWE) January 2, 2018
Paul Talks & Brock Hops: Heyman introduces himself, and says WWE continues to stack the deck against Lesnar, making him defend again multiple challengers instead of just one man. Once again, he has multiple opponents at the rumble. We see Braun watching on. Heyman doesn’t like that Brock can lose without being beaten. Heyman says Brock will successfully defend the title, because Brock defends 100% of the time. Brock can beat Braun, Kane, and everyone in the rumble as well, because Brock fears no challenge, challenger, challengers, or monsters. They go to leave, but Kane arrives. Kane chokeslams Brock, but Brock sits up and laughs at Kane and clotheslines him to the floor as the locker room empties to try and separate them. Kane is taken to the back as Brock stands tall. This… was fine. I love Paul Heyman, but at this point it’s the same shit every time out. His timing, delivery and passion are completely on point, but it’s the same thing every time out. Also, where was Braun? He was watching, but didn’t want any? Were they afraid he was too over earlier in the evening and didn’t want him taking shine from Brock?
– End scene.
– Thanks for reading.
~GLORIOUS~
