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Csonka’s WWE Raw Review 05.28.18
Image Credit: WWE
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Csonka’s WWE Raw Review 05.28.18
OFFICIAL RESULTS
– Finn Balor defeated Braun Strowman @ 11:33 via DQ [**¾]
– WWE IC Title Match: Jinder Mahal defeated Champion Seth Rollins @ 12:22 via DQ [***]
– Non-Title Match: Champions Bray Wyatt & Matt Hardy defeated The Ascension @ 4:45 via pin [*½]
– Kevin Owens defeated Bobby Roode @ 9:45 via pin [**½]
– Drew McIntyre defeated Chad Gable @ 4:45 via pin [**½]
– WWE MITB Qualifier Gauntlet Match: Sasha Banks won @ 21:50 via submission [**½]
– Follow all of my reviews at this link.
– You can check out my Mae Young Classic II wish list at this link.
– We open up with a Memorial Day tribute video.
BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUN: Braun arrives and he’s going to talk. The crowd loves the big man. He’s motivated to win the MITB because that will give him a title shot. He promises to destroy the others and become the Monster in the bank. No one can stop him and Brock Lesnar will get these hands. Finn Balor arrives, and says Braun is getting ahead of himself and reminds us he was the first universal champion and never lost the title; he plans to take back what is his. He gave Braun everything he had last week, but at MITB, there will he 6 others involved. Braun says he put up a really good fight for a little guy. Balor attacks and Braun dumps him to the floor. Kurt Angle arrives and he appreciates the intensity. Tonight, he books Braun vs. Balor in a rematch. This was a fine opening segment, setting up a match and hyping MITB.
– Kevin Owens joins commentary.
Finn Balor vs. Braun Strowman: Strowman immediately tosses Balor around, and then follows with body shots. Roode watches on from backstage as Strowman continues his assault. Balor rallies, picks up the pace, but Strowman cuts him off. It’s all Strowman here, controlling with ease. Balor hits a dropkick and leg kicks, but is again cut off. Owens gets on the house mix and tells Strowman to continue to kick his ass. Post break, and Balor sidesteps a charge but Strowman cuts off the enziguri and knocks Balor to the floor. Strowman follows and tackles Balor over the barricade and into the crowd. Strowman carries him back ringside, but Balor posts him. He lays in boots and strikes, and then a dropkick sends Strowman to the floor. Owens roots on Balor on the house mic. Balor hits the enziguri and tope, wiping out Strowman. Back in and Balor hits sling blade and heads up top. The double stomp to the back follows. Balor up top and hits the proper double stomp, back up top and Owens attacks for the DQ. Finn Balor defeated Braun Strowman @ 11:33 via DQ [**¾] This was pretty good, not as good as last week, but once again, they did a good job of playing the size dynamic and the DQ finish worked fine here.
– Owens attacks Balor with a ladder, but Strowman cuts him off and chases him away.
– Owens is escaping and looking for his keys so he can leave. Angle arrives and books Owens vs. Bobby Roode for later tonight. Someone was on a stretcher in the background.
– Banks cuts a promo on tonight’s gauntlet match.
– Elias is in the ring to play a tune. He runs down the crowd as disgusting and has his lighting changed so he can’t see them. Elias then stalled and never played. He’s a national treasure.
– Post commercial; Elias is still in the ring, threatening to leave. Rollins interrupts. Elias is not pleased and leaves.
WWE IC Title Match: Champion Seth Rollins vs. Jinder Mahal: Sunil Singh is out with Mahal. Rollins attacks at the bell, and runs wild, taking Mahal to the floor and hitting a plancha. Singh distracts Rollins and Mahal cuts him off. Post break, and Mahal is in control. The belly to back suplex follows for 2. The abdominal stretch follows, and he then lays the boots to Rollins. Rollins cuts him off with a flatliner. Rollins picks up the pace, hits a sling blade and dumps Mahal. The suicide dive follows. Back in and Rollins hits the blockbuster for 2. Mahal cuts him off with a toss up gut buster for 2. Rollins counters the khallas, and gets a roll up for 2. The superkick and falcon arrow does the deal as Rollins covers for 2. Rollins fires up, looks for black out, but Singh trips him up Rollins and Mahal grabs a chair and lays out Rollins, covering for 2. Rollins fights of the khallas again, Singh is back and Rollins tosses him in and buckle bombs him into Mahal. Rollins grabs a chair, brings it in, and nails Mahal for the DQ. Jinder Mahal defeated Champion Seth Rollins @ 12:22 via DQ [***] This was actually a good match, with strong layout, and the interference actually helping and adding more heat to a great crowd. I hate that we got back to back DQs, as it’s a poor way to start off the show, but overall Rollins leaves with two matches set; Mahal & Elias.
– Post match, Elias lays out Rollins with a guitar shot, sending him off the announce table and to the floor.
WHERE did @IAmEliasWWE just come from?! #RAW pic.twitter.com/qV6WpzXG3j
— WWE (@WWE) May 29, 2018
– They try to stretcher out Rollins, but he refuses and walks to the back with some help. SUPER BABYFACE SETH!
– Nia Jax arrives, and then Ronda Rousey follows, interrupting her entrance. Rousey takes a seat at commentary to watch Jax’s exhibition.
Champion Nia Jax’s Exhibition: Nia has her jobber (Maddi Maxx) put on an arm bar and she powerbombs her to escape. Nia talks shit and hits a Samoan drop and leg drop. Nia says her leg could crush a women’s chest, and then hits a rolling senton. Nia tells Ronda to come to the ring and help out or poor jobber. Ronda arrives and Nia makes fun of Ronda’s “intimidating” look, and says she’s not afraid. She calls Ronda cute and leaves. Well that was a segment, clearly designed to make Jax the heel in the feud. It existed. Also, the story for Ronda and Nia is Ronda not being able to put the arm bar on Nia, which was the same thing she claimed against Asuka.
– Coach can fuck off with his word of the hour.
Champions Bray Wyatt & Matt Hardy vs. The Ascension (Konnor & Viktor): Hey, the Ascension still have jobs. Viktor and Wyatt to begin. Wyatt takes control, tags in Matt and they work double teams and cover for 2. Viktor cuts off matt and tags Konnor in. They work double teams and Konnor covers for 2. Konnor sort of hits an elbow drop and then grounds things. Matt starts to fight back, but Konnor maintains control. Matt again fights to his feet and cuts off Konnor, Viktor tags in but Matt tags in Wyatt, he runs wild and hits a lariat and senton for 2. It breaks down, twist of fate and Konnor is dumped. Urange to Viktor, and the double Abigail finishes Viktor. Champions Bray Wyatt & Matt Hardy defeated The Ascension @ 4:45 via pin [*½] The champions win again in a boring and forgettable match.
– The B Team meets with Angle and they want a tag title shot. Angle refuses and they plan to invite the other tag teams to a Memorial Day BBQ.
– The Riott Squad cuts a promo on tonight’s gauntlet match. One of them will take the final spot in MITB.
Bobby Roode vs. Kevin Owens: They lock up, Kevin hits a back elbow, and works a headlock. Roode escapes and hits a shoulder tackle. He teases the DDT, but Kevin cuts him off but gets dumped to the floor. Roode follows but gets tripped up on the apron. The cannonball against the barricade follows. Post break, and Kevin is still in control until he misses the senton. Roode fires back with strikes, and the blockbuster follows for 2. Roode heads up top, Kevin crotches him and follows him up. Roode knocks him off and follows with the clothesline. Kevin powders and Roode follows an attacks. Back in and Kevin hits a superkick for 2. Roode counters the pop up powerbomb, but Kevin gets the bulldog cradle for the win. Kevin Owens defeated Bobby Roode @ 9:45 via pin [**½] This was a solid match with clean work, but really didn’t deliver much else of note.
– Braun arrives and lays out Kevin. The powerslam follows and then another; Braun then powerslam Roode.
Sami Zayn’s Apology: Sami says things went too far last week, so he’s here to apologize. He has his old man glasses and reads a prepared statement, commenting on the negative reaction and making fun of the fans. He says he lied and “reveals” that those weren’t Lashley’s sisters, and that they were in fact men. He’s sorry, but everything he said was true. His stories were rooted in reality, and as an artist, he knows many just didn’t understand. History will look back on the segment favorable. Lashley is a liar and a bully. We should feel sorry for him because he deserves better. Lashley arrives and talks about the importance of Memorial Day and salutes all that have served. Lashley says this is getting old and challenges Sami to a match at MITB. Sami shakes his hand and agrees, and promises to helluva kick the smile off of Lashley’s face. Lashley crushes his hand and apologizes for everything he’ll do to him at MITB. Lets hope that the match is better than these past few weeks of angles.
– Mickie James cuts a promo on tonight’s gauntlet match.
– We get a hype package for tomorrow’s 205 Live main event, Champion Cedric Alexander vs. Buddy Murphy.
Drew McIntyre w/Dolph Ziggler vs. Chad Gable: Gable looks for takedowns, but McIntyre cuts him off and tosses him around with ease. McIntyre now lays in chops and then kicks him in the face. The suplex follows for 2, and he grounds things. McIntyre follows with an overhead belly-to-belly toss. McIntyre carries him up top, but Gable fights back and hits a moonsault press for 2. McIntyre dumps him and follows to the floor. Gable hits a rolling kick and then flies with a high cross, gets caught and McIntyre tosses him into the post. Back in and McIntyre looks for the claymore, and it connects for the win. Drew McIntyre defeated Chad Gable @ 4:45 via pin [**½] This was a solid squash, gable sold his ass off, and McIntyre looked great.
UP NEXT: #TheBTeam is hosting a #MemorialDay BBQ to try and convince #RAW's tag team division that THEY deserve an opportunity at the #RAW #TagTeamTitles!
Oh yes, there will be meats. 🥩🍗🍖🌭🍔 pic.twitter.com/LqhN0QnyJ3
— WWE (@WWE) May 29, 2018
The B Team’s Tag Team BBQ: This is a thing that is happening. They make bad “B Team” puns as the tag teams eat. The B Team makes their case for a tag title shot, and Tutus runs down the quality of the menu, and says they won’t cut in line. It predictably breaks down into a food fight, and the B Team puts Rhyno through a table. FUCK. THIS. SHIT.
FOOOOOOOODDDDDDD FIIIIIIIGHT!!!!!!!!! 🍔🍖🥓🥪🍗🥔#RAW pic.twitter.com/N5zQw4tvBE
— WWE (@WWE) May 29, 2018
– Next week: Owens vs. Balor, Strowman vs. Roode, a #1 contender’s tag team battle royal, & Natalya vs. Jax.
The B Team meets with Angle and want a title shot, but Angle announces a #1 contender’s tag team battle royal for next week.
– Bayley cuts a pre-match promo, saying she’ll go through everyone to win tonight.
WWE MITB Qualifier Gauntlet Match: Liv Morgan vs. Sasha Banks vs. Ruby Riott vs. Dana Brooke vs. Sarah Logan vs. Mickie James vs. Bayley: Morgan & Bayley to begin. Bayley to belly and Liv is gone right away. Logan is out next. They brawl and Bayley takes her to e floor and hits a RANA. Back in and Bayley covers for 2. Logan fires back with a suplex for 2. Logan follows with a running knee strike for 2. Bayley then cradles Logan and eliminates her. Liv & Logan work her over now and lay her out. Ruby is in next. Post break, and Ruby has Bayley grounded. Bayley fires up and hits a Saito suplex but Ruby cuts her off and hits the Riott kick for the elimination. Dana Brooke arrives next. Ruby lays the boots to her but Dana fights back. The back handspring elbow follows and then a clothesline gets 2. Ruby cuts her off and eliminates her with the Riott kick. Mickie James is next. James attacks right away, and hits the seated senton from the apron. Back in and Ruby fires back with kicks and strikes. James hits the head scissors and dropkick for 2. Post break, and James hits clotheslines. The flapjack follows and James is fired up. She heads up top and hits the Thesz press for 2. James counters out of the Riott kick and gets a cradle for 2. Ruby gets a roll up with the tights for the elimination. Banks is now out. She quickly goes for pins but Ruby keeps kicking out. The high cross gets 2. Banks grounds the action, and then looks for the Banks statement, but Ruby counters out and into a pinning combo for 2. Ruby lays the boots to Banks, they slap each other, and Ruby slams her down, covering for 2. Ruby lays in chops, Banks fires back and hits a knee strike and then hits meteora for 2. They work into some counters, and Ruby hits a tornado DDT for 2. The head kick follows for another 2. Ruby takes Banks up top, follows her up and Banks fights her off and hits a trapped knee strike. The powerbomb follows and then the Banks statement, and the Riott Squad arrives for the distraction. Banks gets the Banks and Ruby taps. Sasha Banks won @ 21:50 via submission [**½] This was a solid main event, with the closing stretch being the best part, but it was largely just there.
– End scene.
– Thanks for reading.
~GLORIOUS~
